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drunk.txt
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1995-03-31
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1KB
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21 lines
YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK WHEN...
You notice your tie sticking out of your fly...
Someone uses your tongue for a coaster...
You start kissing portraits on the wall...
You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier... You have to hold
on to the floor to keep from sliding off... You strike a match and light
your nose... You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad... You
hear someone say "call a Priest!"... You hear a duck quacking ...and
it's you... You complain about the small bathroom after you emerge from
the coat closet... You refill your glass from the fish bowl... You tell
everyone you have to go home ...and the party's not at your place...
You ask for another ice cube ...and you put it in your pocket... You
yawn at the biggest bore in the room ...and realize you're in front of
the hall mirror... You pick up a roll, and butter your watch... You
suggest everyone stand and sing the National Budget... You're sitting
at the dinner table and you ask the hostess to pass a bedpan... You take
out your handkerchief and blow your ear... You tell your best joke to
the rubber plant... You realize you're the only one under the Coffee
Table...