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1994-10-25
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Everyone can classify themselves in one of the groups concerning birth order.
Whether you're the oldest, middle, youngest, or only, most people can find some
truth in the concept of personality based on birth order in your family. If you're the
oldest, you're the leader, organized and confident, trying to set a good example.
Maybe you're the middle child with an abundance of friends, yearning to be liked
and fit in. Or, perhaps you're the baby, wanting to be the center of attention,
outgoing and self-centered. Or were you lucky enough to be an only child? Much
like the oldest, you're independent and a go-getter. You feel the pressures of
fulfilling your parents dreams. In the Metaxas family there are six kids, each of us
very different from the others. And to my surprise, some of us come pretty close to
proving the birth order theory, while others don't exactly fit the mold.
Elaine, the oldest, has always been the responsible one in the family, maybe
even more than my parents, for they have been known to borrow large sums of
money from her. She's always there when someone needs her, working hard to get
the job done. She has the need to set a good example for the rest of the family and
is motivated to be the first to do everything.
Chris, next in line, comes much closer to fitting the image of the youngest,
than that of the middle child. While Chris is very thoughtful, he expects to be
babied and given everything while in return sacrificing nothing. He is really fun to
be around and loves being the center of attention. A typical middle, he is not. Let's
tally the score: 1 for, 1 against.
One of the true middles is Mike. Always in the midst of a gang of friends, he
likes being the center of attention with them as opposed to with the family. Not too
engrossed in the family, he likes to do things on his own and prove his
independence. This middle struggled with his role within the family, but now in
adulthood, has become confident. Score: 2 for, 1 against.
The next true middle is John, who is always striving for acceptance. His
temper gets him in trouble because he feels outcast. I suppose this is typical middle
behavior. He has a kind heart and wants everyone to like him. I don't think he's
become secure with himself or his role in the family. score:3 for, 1 against.
Steve, not really a middle, and not the youngest, is the most introverted of us
all. He feels accepted by the family and doesn't look outside the family for others to
make him feel secure. He's content with a good book and some time by himself.
Perhaps, being lost among all of the kids as a middle, he turned to solitude and
computers for fulfillment and happiness. While not meeting every middle
requirement, he seems to fit best there. score: 4 for, 1 against.
Finally, I am the youngest. The one everyone doted on, gave everything to,
and let get away with murder. It's sad but true, I am definitely the baby. I love the
attention I get within the family, but I don't need it as much when I get out into the
real world. Maybe my love for theatrics stemmed from my putting on acts for
everyone in the family. I am typically selfish like a true youngest, at times I forget
about everyone but myself. My parents became more lenient as they had more kids,
and perhaps that's why I became more independent. They stopped worrying as
much and I think that was to my benefit. score: 5 for, 1 against.
There is substantial evidence in my family that the birth order theory has
relevance. Maybe its coincidence, but when I analyze the personalities, their core
seems to mirror the traits of the typical oldest, middle and youngest. That is,
excluding Chris. He's of a class of his own. I think the best way to test the birth
order theory is to watch families with only 3 children. Then, it is more clear what
the role of each child is. For example, is Steve the middle/youngest or just a
middle? Should he have different traits? I wouldn't trade my big family for anything
in the world, but, for a couple months it sure would be nice to be an only.