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lamer.aia
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2001-02-10
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┌─═════════════════════════════════╗
│ Revenge on Lamers ║
│ ║
│ ─═AïA═─ ║
│ ║
│ By Phax and Vipurr ║
└──────────────────────────────────┘
Have you ever met a person who just thinks that they are so
k-wRaDical that you want to puke? Well we here at AïA live in
the lamer capitol of the world<714 area code, Southern Califor
nia> and we have too many of them. This file will go over the
finer aspects of making a lamer's life a living hell. Hopefully
you will enjoy reading this as much as we have enjoyed writing
it.
Basically the first thing that you need is a lamer. I'm sure
that you will have no problem finding one of them. They are every
where these days. Next it will help if you have some reason to do
this to the person other than just to be an asshole <the point is
to get back at them not become one>. I will include a list of what
the people at AïA consider a lamer.
1. Someone who brags about their ]<-wRaD warez board and is
only at 2400 baud, and you have to call them first so that
they can turn on the board for you. READ:Warez Lamer
2. People who think that only warez belong in the underground
and that everyone else <hackers and phreaks> shouldn't be
here.
3. Someone who brags about what a phreak/hacker they are and
when you ask them something they don't have the slightest
clue what they are talking about.
4. Warez lamers with High Speed modems who call H/P boards and
ask for warez and make fun of all the low speed users and
encourage the SysOp to make the board High Speed only.
5. People who steal call card numbers and call themselves
phreaks when they use them to call their k-kewl LD warez
boards.
6. People who get PBX's and abuse them for a month to call
their LD boards and when the codes are changed they go and
get a new PBX.
I'm sure that you have an idea of kind of people we are dealing
with in the 714 area code. Now you might consider someone a lamer
because of something that they did to you but you normally just
call those people assholes.
Now if this person has a car there are lots of fun things that
you can do to it to make their life a living hell. People treasure
cars because they cost lots of money and get very upset when you
mess with them so make sure that this person doesn't know where you
live. Now for some ideas.
1. Put sugar in the gastank of the car. This runs through the
gas pipes and gets into the engine where it gets really hot
and needless to say messes up the engine pretty badly.
2. Put thermite <consult just about any BBS for a file on how
to make it> on a place in the engine where it will get hot
and ignite burning through the engine and make the engine
worthless.
3. Wash the car in pool acid. This will eat away and the
paint and needless to say make the car look very ugly.
4. Put a golf ball in the gastank. It will clog up the gas-
line and only decompose very slowly.
5. Let the air out of the tires or pop them is always a good
old one. Granted not very creative but still makes their
life hell.
6. It is rumored that putting Moth Balls in the gastank will
give the car a kind of "turbo boost" and will needless to
say give the driver a real shock. I have never tested it
so don't quote me on this.
Okay now that you have messed with the car <if they have one>
it is time to move onto the house. There are lots of fun and
interesting things that you can do to a person's house.
1. Put Super Glue(tm) in all the outside locks of the house.
This is very expensive because odds are that they will need
to replace the locks. Don't forget to get the lock on the
garage so that they can't get the cars out.
2. Pour bleach, pool acid, or black gun powder <you will have
to light the gunpowder> on their lawn in shapes of penta-
grams or what ever else comes to mind.
3. Good old TPing the house is always kind of fun but that
doesn't take much imagination.
4. If they have ornate front doors <everyone who is ]<-Wrad
in 714 does> with two handles. If you can slip a chain
through the handles and padlock them that is always fun
when they get ready to go to work in the morning and find
out that they are locked in.
5. Hook up your beige box to their phone line and make $10 a
minute 976 calls from their line. Then when you are done
doing that if you want to be a total asshole you can cut
their phone lines.
6. Again with the Beige Box call 911 and sound really scared
like someone is breaking in or something and then hang up
on the 911 operator and run like hell.
7. Put a 1 gallon can of paint by his front door and put in
lots of dry ice. Close the lid really tight and run. A lot
of pressure will build up and the can will explode sending
paint every where.
8. Make up some party fliers with the lamers address and dist-
ribute them everywhere.
9. If you are really sick and twisted you can put dead animals
in the person's mailbox but that will probably scare the
mailman/women <can't be sexist :)> more than it will scare
the person.
Now after you have screwed with their house you can do what I
like to call "Psychological Warfare".
1. Hook up your computer's annoyance dialer to dial their
house all day. They will either have to put up with it
or take the phone off the hook.
2. Send them hate mail telling them that you are going to
kill them or burn down their house or something equally
bad.
3. Phone them death threats as above. This isn't as safe be-
cause calls can be traced.
We at AïA hope that you have enjoyed this file and got some
good ideas from it. I personally would never try any of the
techniques described in this file <but Vipurr would most likely
not hesitate to do them>. These methods are very destructive
and can get you fined and sent to jail very quickly so be careful
with these.
─═Phax═─
-=AïA 93=-
Greets going out to:
Vipurr: for helping me come up with some ideas for this file.
Terminator: for giving me a reason to have to write this file in
the first place. After all if I didn't hate him I wouldn't have
bothered writing this.
Everyone at 2600: for helping me get started in the "scene" with
the information provided in your magazine.
Pazuzu: for running a great board that believes in the fact
information should be free. Also for giving me access to CCi which
has opened me up to the "scene".
I can be reached on the following boards.
THe PHaCToRY 313.884.2617
Digital Decay 714.871.2057