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launcher.txt
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1992-03-27
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MILITANTS UNITE!
How to make a tennis-ball projectile launcher
BY FORKBOY
What you need:
3 Cambells soup cans
Can opener
Duct tape
Butane lighter fluid (the kind used in lighters)
drill
a wick or some heating device
tennis ball
gas (optional)
How to make it...
1) Open both sides to two cans, but only one side to one can.
2) Empty the contents out.
3) Duct tape all the cans togther real good.
4) Drill a hole in the bottom of the last can. Don't make it
real big, but not too small either,
5) Pour a substantial amount of lighter fluid down the hole.
Just use your own judgement on how much to put in. If you
don't put enough in, the ball won't travel very far. But,
if you put too much in, it might blow up in your face.
6) Put the tennis ball down the barrel.
7) Prop up the cannon on something. Aim it about a 45 degree
angle.
8) Insert heating device.
9) Light, and step back.
The tennis ball will travel up to one mile. BE real careful
with this one, because you can kill someone at close range
with this bastard. But, I know someone is crazy enough to be
a killer out there, so I'll tell you how to kill someone with
this.
1) Soak the ball in gas overnight.
2) Follow steps 1-9.
3) Get some safety glasses.
4) Mount it on your shoulder so you can aim.
5) Light.
When the ball hits, it will douse the victim in gas, and
engulfing them in flames. If you aim for the head, the
impact will be so great he will probably be knocked out. If
you really want to fuck 'em up, aim for the nose. The bone
fragments will probably be shoved into their brain, causing
intense pain. As far as the launcher, I wouldn't worry about
launching it off my shoulder. I do it all the time, and
there really isn't much to worry about. Just be careful...