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1992-10-05
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<Beating the Drug Test>
<By>
<Minister of Death>
4/29/92
- A TLP Production -
Preface:
Of course, this is the disclaimer. Under no circumstances should
you employ any of the methods described herein to defeat or
attempt to defeat a drug test of any kind, whether it be for the
government, sports organizations, or schools. This is simply a
discussion of how easily even IOC certified labs are defeated.
Also remember that the only way to be absolutely certain you pass
a drug test is to be clean.
Part I - Chemical Method:
There are many chemicals out on the market that for one
reason or another block the urinary excretion of illegal
substances. They were developed in the 40's in order to keep the
enormously expensive Penicillin active in the body. These same
chemicals are now used to block other drugs from being excreted.
Probenecid, the most common of these substances, is very
effective. It is a prescription drug, however, and might be
difficult to obtain. Other compounds, similar in nature and
structure to Probenecid and available commercially and do the same
thing. One such substance is Carinamide: Chemical name:
(Benzylsulfonamido) Benzoic Acid. It is available commercially by
at least two chemical companies in America: ICN-K&K Chemicals
(1-800-544-8014) catalog #206669. Pfalts & Bauer (203-574-0075)
catalog #B-09570 will make it (for a profit, of course.)
A. How it is used:
You would use 60 mg per kilo of body weight. (Kilo=2.2 lbs.) So,
weigh yourself, and divide the number you get by 2.2. This is
your bodyweight in kilograms.
For example, if you weighed 220 lbs, the DAILY dosage would be 6
grams or 6000 milligrams. Use this the day of the test, at least
two hours before the test. Do not miss this two hour deadline or
you will most likely fail the test.
Another chemical used is called PAH (p-aminohipurate).
Spectrum chemicals (1-800-772-8786) has it: catalog #A1118. This
is used similarly to Carinamide, except the dosage is different.
You would use 120 mg per kilogram of bodyweight. Use it two hours
before the test.
There is some substance called "Defend" that is sold as a
beat the drug test kit. I am not sure about this stuff, but
chances are good that it is 99% inert materials, and 1% of one of
the above chemicals. See, the FDA doesn't really care about that
1%. Interesting loophole, isn't it? Thats how they get away with
it. Also, buying the chemicals from the above companies is
perfectly legal, although some conning may be required to convince
them you are a company yourself doing research. Trust me, they are
more than willing to get you as a customer, so lie. Paradox theory
at work.
Other chemicals I didn't mention since they are relatively
obscure are: Azubromaron aka: Desuric, Minuric, Uricovac, Urinorm.
Dosage here is 80-160mg. These might available is Europe.
Part II: Other dirty tricks.
One dirty trick is to drink about 15 large glasses of water
before the test. If your sample is too dilute, they will make you
retest, but they might not. Its different every time and depends
on the test, so watch for things like that.
Another (for girls only) is to have a catheter filled with
"clean" urine inserted in the vagina. Practising can allow someone
to make it seem as though everything is normal. The testing people
seem to think they have defeated this method by using some test to
match the urine to the individual somehow. I am not sure how, but
it is easy to beat this. When you are clean, urinate in a jar and
freeze it until test day.
Part III:
Stupid things not to do can vary. One is to have someone
take the test for you. This will most certainly fail. Another is to
stop one day before the test and think you will test clean if you
urinate enough the day before. Some metabolites stay in your
system for months (or years(!)) before you are clean. Just
remember this, if you pass, thats it. If you fail, there is no
second chance.