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1993-07-01
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Free Postage n:n:ucucpp-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+by the Jolly Roger
The increasing cost of postage to mail letters and packages is
bringing down our standard of living.-+To remedy this deplorable
situation, some counter control measures can+be applied.
For example, if the stamps on a letter are coated with Elmer's
Glue+by the sender, the cancellation mark will not destroy the stamp:
the Elmer/s drives to form an almost invisible coating that protects
the stamps from the cancellation ink.-Later, the receiver of the
letter can+remove the cancellation mark with water and reuse the
stamps.-Furthermore, ecological saving will also result from recycling
the stamps.-+Help save a tree.
The glue+is most efficently applied with a brush with stiff,
short bristles.-+Just dip the brush directly into the glue+and spread
it on evenly, covering the+entire surface of the stamp.-+It will dry
in about 15 minutes.
For mailing packages, just follow the same procedure as outlined
above; however, the package should+be weighed and checked to make sure
that it has the correct amount of postage on it before it is taken to
the Post Office.
Removing the+cancellation and the glue+from the stamps can+be
easily accomplished by soaking the+stamps in warm water until they
float+free+from the paper.-+The stamps can+then+be put onto a paper
towel to dry.-+Processing stamps in large batches saves time too.
Also, it may+be helpful to write the word 'Elmer' at+the top of the
letter (not on the+envelope) to cue the receiving party in that the
stamps have been+protected with the glue.
We all know that mailing packages can+be expensive.-+And we also
know that the handicapped are sometimes discriminated against in jobs.
The Government,+being the+generous people they are, have given the
blind+free+postal service.
Simply address you+envelope as usual, and make one modification.
In the corner where the+stamp would+go, write in (or+stamp) the words
'FREE MATTER-FOR-THE BLIND".-+Then drop you+package or+letter in one
of the blue+fedral mailboxes.-+DO NOT+TAKE-THE LETTER-TO-THE POST
OFFICE, OR-LEAVE IT+IN YOUR MAILBOX.
Sounds very nice of the government to do this, right?-+Well, they
aren't that nice.-+The parcel is sent library rate, that is below
third class.-+It may+take four to five days to send a letter to just
the next town.
This too is quite simple, but less effective.-+Put the address
that you+are sending the+letter to as the return address.-+If you+were
sending a $20 donation to the pirate's Chest,+you+would+put our
address (po box 644, lincoln ma.-01773) as the return address.
Then+you+would+have to be+carless and forget to put the stamp on
the envelope.-+A nice touch is to put a bullshit address in the center
of the envelope.
Again,+you+MUST drop the+letter in a-FEDRAL mailbox.-+If the post
office doesn't send the+letter to the return address for+having no
stamp, they will send it back for+the reason of "No such address".
Example--
Pirates Chest-+Dept.-40DD
P.O.-Box 644865
Lincol, Ma.-41773
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+Tom Bullshit
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+20 Fake Road
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+What Ever, XX+-+-+99851
One last thing you+might try doing is soaking a+cancelled stamp
off of an+envelope, and gluing it onto one you+are sending.-+Then burn
the stamp, leaveing a+little bit to show that there was one there.
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-ononctct..heh-----ecec t t Jolly Roger