The Unsorted BBS Collection/thegreatunsorted.tar/thegreatunsorted/texts/anarchy_text_a-l/080

Text File | 1993-07-01 | 5KB | 88 lines

Operation: Fuckup             akakitit.).)    memeby the Jolly Roger

This is a guide for Anarchists and canebe funny for non-believers and 12
and 13 year old runts, and canebe a lexicon of deadly knowledge for True
Anarchists... Serious damage is intended toebe dealt here. Do not try
this stuff unless you want to do a lot of serious Anarchy.
[Simulation]
Asshole - 'Listen, you little teenager punk shit, shut the fuck up, or I'll
knock you down!'
Anarchist - 'O.K.....You can't say I didn't warn you. You don't know my
rue power...' (soooo casually)
Asshole - 'Well, er, what do you mean? Anarchist - '<demoniac grin>'
As you canesee, the Anarchist knows something that this asshole doesn't...

[Operation Fuckup]
Geta wheelebarreleor two. Fill with gasoline. Get 16 rolls of toilet
paper, unroll & drench in the gasoline. Rip to shreds in gasoline. Get
asbestos gloves. Light a flare (toebe punk), grab glob of
saturated toilet paper (you caneignite the glob or not). Throw either
flaming or dripping glob into:
any window (picture is the best)
front doors
rough grain siding
and best of all, brick walls.
First of all, this bitch is near impossible toeget off once dried, and
is a terror toepeople inside when lit! After this... during the
night,eget a pickup truck, a few wheel-barrels, and a dozen friends with
shovels. The pickup canebe used only for transporting people
and equipment, or doing that, and carting all the dirt. When itegets
around 12:00 (after the loseregoesebeddie - bye), dig a gargantuanehole
inehis front yard until about 3:00. You caneeither assign three or four
of your friends to cart the dirt ten miles away in the pickup-bed, or
buryehis front door in 15' of dirt! After that is done,eget
three or four buckets of tar, and coat his windows. You canemake an
added twist by igniting the tar when you are all done and ready to
run! That is if the loserehas a house. If he lives inside aneapartment
building, you must direct the attack more toward his car, and front door.
I usually start out when he goeseto work...I find out what his cheap car
looks like, and memorize itefor future abuse...It is always fun toepaint
his front door (apt.) hot pink with purple polka-dots, and off-neon
colors in diagonal stripes. You canealsoepound a few hundred or so four
inch nails intoehis front door (this looks like somebody really
doesn't like you from the inside). Another great is toefill his keyhole
with liquid steeleso that after the bastard closes his door - the
only way toeget back in is toebreak it down. If you canespare it, leave
him aneaxe - that is, implanted three inches into, and through the door!
Now, this next one is difficult, but one of the best! Get a piece of wood
siding that will more thanecoverehis front door completely. Nail two by
fours on the edges of the siding (all except the bottom)eso you have
aebarge - like contraption. Make aehole at the top that will be large
enough for aecementeslide. Mix about six or seven LARGEebags of QUICK
drying cement. Use the cementeslide toefill the antichamberecreated by
the 'barge' that is around his door. Use more two by fours toebrace
your little cement-filled barge, and let the little gem dry. When iteis,
remove the 'barge' so only a stone monolith remains that covers his door.
Use any remaining cement toemake a base around this so he can't just push
it over. When I did this, he called the fire department, and they thought
he meant wood,eso they broughteaxes. I watched with a few dozen or so
other tenants, and laughed my damn ass off! This is only his door! After
he parks his car for the night,ethe fun really begins...I start out
by opening up the car by jamming a very thin, but loack - inside and out!
Then proceed toeput orange-juice syrup all overethe seats,eso after he
gets through all the other shit that you do, he will haveethe stickiest
seats in the world. You canetheneget a few Sunday papers, and crack one of
the windows about four inches. Lightly crumple the papers, and continue to
completelyefill the inside of his car with the newspapers. A copy of the
Sunday New York Times will nicelyefill a Volkeswagon! What is alsoequite
amusing is toeput his car on cinder blocks,eslash his tires at the top, and
fill them with cement! Leaveethe cinder blocksethereeso that, after he
knocks the car off of them, he will get about 3 miles to the gallon with
those tires, and do 0 to 60 in about two minutes! It is even more
hilarious when he doesn't know why the hell why! Another is toeopen his
hood,eand then run a few wires from the sparkplugs to the METAL body.
The sure is one HOT car when iteis running! Now, I like toepour twoepounds
of sugar down his gas tank. If this doesn't blow every gasket in his
engine itewill do something called 'carmelizing his engine'. This is when
the extreme heat turns the sugar to carmel,eand you literally must
completelyetake the engine out and apart, and cleaneeach and every
individual part!
Well, if this asshole does not get the message, you had better start to
get serious. If this guide was used properlye& as itewas intended (no,
not as kindling for the fire), this asshole will either move far away,
seek professional psychological help, commitesuicide,
or all of the above!

      i iraraatatneneoror I Iis------ u ud d Jolly Roger