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TT1028.94
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1994-11-14
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958b
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33 lines
TOP TEN BAD THINGS ABOUT WINNING $70 MILLION
10. THEY PAY YOU A DOLLAR A YEAR FOR 70 MILLION YEARS
9. SURE, YOU CAN AFFORD LUNCH IN NEW YORK CITY, BUT WHAT
ABOUT DINNER?
8. CITIBANK RAISES THE LIMIT ON YOUR VISA CARD TO $100 MILLION,
AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE IN OVER YOUR HEAD
7. YOU IMMEDIATELY LOSE YOUR CREDIBILITY AS A DUNK TANK
CLOWN
6. TIP A WAITER ANYTHING LESS THAN A THOUSAND BUCKS, AND
HE'LL CRACK YOUR SKULL WITH A PEPPER MILL
5. PAPERBOY TRIES TO CONVINCE YOU THAT THE NEW YORK TIMES
NOW COSTS $1200 A DAY
4. YOU KNOW YOU'LL JUST SPEND IT ON 70 MILLION MORE LOTTERY
TICKETS, YOU MORON
3. SOME CHEMICAL IN ALL THAT GREEN INK TURNS YOU INTO A
CRAZY LITTLE CHIPMUNK LIKE ROSS PEROT
2. YOU DONATE IT TO A COLLEGE & THEY NAME A BUILDING AFTER
YOU CALLED "LUCKY BASTARD HALL"
1. OVERSTUFFED WALLET MAKES YOUR ASS LOOK HUGE
Letterman, Friday, October 28, 1994
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1994