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Collection of Hack-Phreak Scene Programs
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TT0919.94
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1994-11-14
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911b
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32 lines
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN THE MISS AMERICA
PAGEANT
10. INSTEAD OF PUTTING VASELINE ON YOUR TEETH, YOU USE
AIEROSOL CHEESE
9. YOUR NUDE PHOTOS HAVE ALREADY APPEARED IN "PENTHOUSE"
8. VERY OFTEN WHEN PEOPLE MEET YOU THEY SAY, "MAN IS YOU
UGLY"
7. THE JUDGES POINT OUT THAT EATING A POUND OF FUDGE IS NOT
TECHNICALLY A TALENT
6. AFTER YOUR MUSICAL NUMBER, REGIS TURNS TO KATHIE LEE
AND SAYS, "WOW THAT REALLY SUCKED."
5. THOUGH YOU'RE PRETTY, THERE'S NO GETTING AROUND THE
FACT THAT YOUR NAME IS CARL AND YOU'RE A LONGSHOREMAN
4. THE OFFICIALS DISCOVER YOU'VE CORKED YOUR BRA
3. SOMEONE'S REPLACED YOUR PAPER "MIS KENTUCKY" SASH WITH
ONE THAT READS "SANITIZED FOR YOUR PROTECTION"
2. YOU'RE MISS NEW YORK, AND YOUR TALEN IS GIVING THE FINGER
1. YOUR ASS IS THE SIDE OF MONTANA
Letterman, September 19, 1994
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1994