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Collection of Hack-Phreak Scene Programs
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FREEPOST.ZIP
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FREEPOST.TXT
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1998-01-21
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Free Postage!!
By: TAP Magazine
The increasing cost of postage to mail letters and packages
is bringing down our standard of living. To remedy this
deplorable situation, some counter control measures can be
applied.
For example, if the stamps on a letter are coated with
Elmer's Glue by the sender, the cancellation mark will not
destroy the stamp:
the Elmer/s drives to form an almost invisible coating that
protects the stamps from the cancellation ink. Later, the
receiver of the letter can remove the cancellation mark with
water and reuse the stamps. Furthermore, ecological saving will
also result from recycling the stamps. Help save a tree.
The glue is most efficently applied with a brush with stiff,
short bristles. Just dip the brush directly into the glue and
spread it on evenly, covering the entire surface of the stamp.
It will dry in about 15 minutes.
For mailing packages, just follow the same procedure as
outlined above; however, the package should be weighed and
checked to make sure that it has the correct amount of postage on
it before it is taken tothe Post Office.
Removing the cancellation and the glue from the stamps can
be easily accomplished by soaking the stamps in warm water until
they float free from the paper. The stamps can then be put onto
a paper towel to dry. Processing stamps in large batches saves
time too. Also, it may be helpful to write the word 'Elmer' at
the top of the letter (not on the envelope) to cue the receiving
party in that the stamps have been protected with the glue.
We all know that mailing packages can be expensive. And we
also know that the handicapped are sometimes discriminated
against in jobs. The Government, being the generous people they
are, have given the blind free postal service.
Simply address you envelope as usual, and make one
modification. In the corner where the stamp would go, write in
(or stamp) the words 'FREE MATTER FOR THE BLIND". Then drop you
package or letter in one of the blue fedral mailboxes.
DO NOT TAKE THE LETTER TO THE POST OFFICE, OR LEAVE IT IN YOUR
MAILBOX.
Sounds very nice of the government to do this, right? Well,
they aren't that nice. The parcel is sent library rate, that is
below third class. It may take four to five days to send a
letter to just the next town.
This too is quite simple, but less effective. Put the
address that you are sending the letter to as the return address.
If you were sending a $20 donation to the pirate's Chest, you
would put our address (po box 644, lincoln ma. 01773) as the
return address.
Then you would have to be carless and forget to put the
stamp on the envelope. A nice touch is to put a bullshit address
in the center of the envelope.
Again, you MUST drop the letter in a FEDRAL mailbox. If the
post office doesn't send the letter to the return address for
having no stamp, they will send it back for the reason of "No
such address".
Example--
Pirates Chest
P.O. Box 644
Lincol, Ma.
01773
Tom Bullshit
20 Fake Road
What Ever, XX
99851
One last thing you might try doing is soaking a cancelled
stamp off of an envelope, and gluing it onto one you are sending.
Then burn the stamp, leaveing a little bit to show that there was
one there.