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        Study No. 8.
                               SONG OF SOLOMON

         LOOSING THE FIRST LOVE CONT.  - Chapter 3:1 - 3:5

        3:1  - "By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul  loveth.   I
               sought him but I found him not."

            a)  She  sought  him  on the bed.   He may  have  been  there
                previously,  but  He  had  long since moved on  to  other
                areas.   The last time she had seen Him He was leaping on
                mountains, etc, and challenging her to leave her wall and
                co-operate with Him.   She is now attempting to revert to
                an  experience  with the King prior  to  that  challenge,
                which was more comfortable.

                At times we hold onto the spiritual experience which suit
                us, to the exclusion of the Lord Himself and when we seek
                Him  in past things,  He is no longer there.   He must be
                sought  where  He is,  instead of where He  used  to  be.
                Whole  denominations are built around a past move of  God
                and are  bereft  of  the  actual  presence  of  the  Lord
                because of this.

            b)  The bed had previously been "our" bed (1:16),  but now it
                is  "my" bed.   She has become possessive of His benefits
                to her and has enjoyed what He has done for her more than
                she enjoys Him.  This is idolatry.

            c)  The  word "night" is plural  - "nights",  indicates  that
                both  the condition of their separation and her fruitless
                search  for  Him  continued for  a  considerable  period.
                Religion  has  such a dulling effect on the  senses  that
                people  get  caught  going through  the  motions  without
                realizing what is happening.

            d)  However, she is at least beginning to search for Him.  At
                the  end of chapter 2 she was satisfied to  be  separated
                from  His  presence,  and to be out of harmony  with  His
                working.   Her  self indulgence has failed to satisfy and
                now  there  is  a  deep  cry  for  restoration  and   she
                eventually  comes to the realization that as in 1:8,  she
                again  doesn't  know  the way to go.   In  2:17  she  had
                assumed that she could find Him whenever she  chose,  and
                had  lost  sight of a basic principle of spiritual  life.
                The King must bring us in.   The plan of God for us is at
                His  initiative.   "No man comes to me except the  Father
                draw Him", Jesus said. (John 6:44)
                Her  search  for Him fails and the  traditions  and  past
                experiences  she is clutching to,  are unable to  restore
                his presence.

        3:2 - "I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and
              in  the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth.   I
              sought him, but I found him not."

            a)  She arises.   This is the first step to restoration.  She
                leaves what she had made hers,  "my bed".   Religion is a
                spiritual  experience  past or present  which  no  longer
                contains the presence of the King, and she now sees it as
                a hindrance.  Though she has failed to walk with Him, her
                soul  loves  Him deeply and in the long term nothing else
                can  satisfy her.   The prodigal son began his  steps  to
                full restoration by "arising" - Luke 15:18.

            b)  However,  once  again her search is in the wrong place  -
                she  goes about the city.   This is the structure of man.
                In fact the first city was built by Cain (Gen.  4:17) and
                Babel was a city built in rebellion (Gen. 11:4).  Many of
                the judgements of God fall on cities.   The Shulamite has
                already  had problems in her relationship with  the  King
                because of walls.   He has never been seen in the city in
                the Book so far.

                The  city speaks of man-made and man-organized  religion.
                Previously  she  sought  him  in the  area  of  her  past
                experience,   "my  bed".    Now  she  seeks  him  in  the
                structures  of others.   It had been her prayer not to be
                turned aside by the flocks of the companions,  but she is
                hindered  from finding the King when she wishes  to  find
                him because of the interference of man-made institutions.

                The streets are established ways.  Most religions systems
                function  on  an  adherence  to  history  and  set  rigid
                routines for spiritual practice.  The broadways represent
                rationalizing  of  God's ways.   His way is straight  and
                narrow,  but the road to destruction expands on His  laws
                and  substitutes human thinking for His thoughts.   Note,
                Matt. 7:13, and Is. 55:8-9.

        3:3 - 4 - "The watchman that go about the city found me,  to whom
                  I said,  Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?   It was but a
                  little  while that I passed from them,  but I found him
                  whom my soul loveth.   I held him and would not let him
                  go, until I had brought him into my mother's house, and
                  into the chamber of her who conceived me."

            a)  The watchmen could not help her to find the King.  It had
                been a personal disobedience and it had to be a  personal
                search and restoration.  This was not a matter for anyone
                else to take part in.

                They were dedicated to the preservation of the city,  and
                their emphasis and desire was different from hers.  There
                is  no suggestion that they answered and it appears  that
                they were incapable of relating to her need.

            b)  As soon as she left them,  she found the King.   Both the
                city  and  those  dedicated to its preservation  are  now
                behind her.   She has finally obeyed the call He made  to
                her in 2:8.  She is out from behind her wall at last.

            c)  Jer.  29:13  declares that we can find God when we search
                for  Him  with  all  our  heart.   It  is  apparent  that
                searching  in the wrong places is not searching with  all
                the heart.  He had previously given her commands and only
                whole-hearted obedience constitutes correct seeking.

                The restoration of relationship is immediate.   There  is
                no gradual acceptance of her by the King.

            d)  She held Him and would not let Him go, which shows us the
                closeness   of   their  restored  relationship  and   her
                commitment   to  maintain  it.    She  has  learned  some
                positive  lessons  through her  negative  and  regressive
                experiences.  In 1:2 she had wanted Him to kiss her,  now
                she is so motivated by the restoration,  that like Jacob,
                she  will not let go of God (Gen.  32:26).   It was  this
                determination  for  God's  presence  and  blessing  which
                changed Jacob forever and it also brings the Shulamite to
                a new place with the King.

            e)  She  brought  Him to her mother's house.   She didn't  go
                back  to "our house",  but to the natural things  of  her
                experience.

                Jerusalem from above is the mother of us all (Gal. 4:26).
                This  teaches us that the system of grace which we are in
                has  many necessary and valid facets and functions  which
                must  have  the presence of the King in  order  to  avoid
                becoming merely religions.  Such things as programmes and
                organizations   and   the  utilization  of  talents   and
                abilities, education and training, are not evil, but will
                become  a hindrance unless they are energized  and  given
                meaning by the King's presence.

            f)  She  had  so seriously refused the call of the  King  and
                missed  moving with Him that she is now feeling the  need
                for  a total and in-depth work to be done in her life  to
                avoid such a rebellious and self-centered attitude to Him
                in  the future.   She takes Him to the chamber where  she
                was conceived.   This represents the basic foundations of
                her  life  and  suggests  the need  to  return  to  basic
                salvation  and build a better relationship with  thinking
                based  on proper attitudes which will emphasize His glory
                rather than a grasp for blessings for herself.

        3:5  - "I charge you,  O ye daughters of Jerusalem,  by the roes,
               and by the hinds of the field,  that ye stir not  up,  nor
               awake my love, till it please."

            This verse is the end of the second section of the book - the
            period of faltering love.

            The  first section ended with her in the King's arms and this
            second section ends with Him in her arms.

            This shows us the need for reciprocation of the King's  love.
            Previously  their relationship depended on the King providing
            gifts and blessings for her, and as the recipient of all this
            bounty, she begins to become self-centred and gift-conscious.
            Now  that she is restored to Him and has taken Him into  both
            the  ordinary  and foundational levels of her  life,  she  is
            giving love instead of only receiving it.  The second section
            which starts so disastrously,  finishes on a better plane, as
            the King's patient and constant encouragement to the Bride to
            join Him finally creates a hunger in her and produces  needed
            change.  Her prayer of 1:4, "draw me", has not been forgotten
            by Him,  nor is it answered only once and then discarded.  He
            keeps  it by Him to act on as the occasion demands.   Note  1
            Kings 8:59.

             COMMENT

            The  relevance  of this section of the Song  to  contemporary
            dating and engagement is obvious.   There are,  perhaps, four
            central points emphasized here that deserve expanded comment.
            These four points constitute four objectives of engagement as
            taught by the Song of Solomon.

             God's Purposes in Engagement

            A.  To  get  to know each other.   "A springtime visit"  2:8,
                2:14.
            B.  To work through problems.  "Catch the little foxes" 2:15,
                2:17.
            C.  To  consider the cost.   "I sought  him but did not  find
                him"  3:1, 3:4.
            D.  3:5  - In view of these factors,  be sure not  to  arouse
                sexual  passion until you are sure he/she is God's man or
                woman.

         To get to Know One Another in Ways Other than Physical

        Let's   consider  some  general  questions  about  any   person's
        qualifications for marriage.

        1.  Is  he or she totally committed to Jesus Christ?
            The Bible prohibits marriage to a non-believer (2 Cor. 6:14).
            It also discourages "missionary" dating.   Dating a person in
            order  to "win him for Christ" rarely works  out.   Generally
            people end up marrying someone they date.   Therefore, if you
            date non-Christians you'll probably end up marrying one.

        2.  Does this person make you feel unconditionally accepted?
            If you feel you are on a performance basis now,  it will  get
            worse  when  you are married.  The love described in  1  Cor.
            13:4-7  is  foundational  to Christian  marriage.   It  is an
            unconditional love.

        3.  Is  this person able to respond with a blessing when hurt  or
            offended by you or someone else?
            Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with a
            blessing,  because  to  this you were called so that you  may
            inherit a blessing (1 Pet. 3:9).


        4.  Is this person committed to God's priorities of family life?
            Briefly,  a  married  person's  priority  list  according  to
            Scripture, when  a man  takes a new wife, he shall not go out
            with the army, nor be charges with any duty; he shall be free
            at home one year and shall give happiness to his wife whom he
            has taken (Deut. 24:5).

        5.  Is this person financially responsible?
            Jesus  taught that you can tell a lot about a person's  inner
            spiritual life by how he or she handles money.

            So  if  you  have not been trustworthy  in  handling  worldly
            wealth, who will trust you with true riches? (Luke 16:11)

        7.  Is this person submissive to constituted authority?
            Paul says husbands and wives should:
            Submit  to  one  another out of reverence  for  Christ  (Eph.
            5:21).

         To Discern and Resolve Potential Problems

        1.  Take a careful look at temperament differences.   She may have
            a  "leader," aggressive type temperament,  and he may  have  a
            "follower" type temperament.

        2.  Take  a careful look at background differences.   The man may
            come from a large,  rollicking family with easy-going, untidy
            ways,  and virtually no discipline.   She on the other  hand,
            might  come  from  a  small  family  where  there  was  stern
            discipline and little affection shown.

        3.  Discern  one another's aspirations and goals.   An  extremely
            profitable  and enlightening evening can be spent  discussing
            one another's dreams and goals.   As an exercise, each of you
            write out a personal philosophy of life.   Include your value
            system,  your ambitions, what you consider the most important
            things in life.

        4.  Discern  one  another's  feelings about  children  and  child
            discipline.   How  many children do you want?   Many a  young
            bride  is shocked to find that her husband doesn't even  want
            children.

        5.  Discuss present relationships with parents and in-laws.   All
            the jokes about in-laws have some basis in fact.  You are not
            just marrying a man; you are marrying into his family.

        6.  Are either of you financially in debt?  Most judges will tell
            you this is the number two problem in marriages today.

         To Count the Cost of Marriage to this Particular Person

        There  are  at least three "cost factors"  that  everyone  should
        objectively consider before entering into marriage.

        1.  Since  no one is perfect,  you need to honestly evaluate your
            capacity   to  absorb  the  difference  between  where   your
            potential mate is an where he or she ought to be, between the
            ideal  Scripture and the reality of his or her present  state
            of maturity.
        2.  Do you have the capacity to embrace his or her lifestyle  and
            calling?
            Here is a young couple, very much in love.  She comes from an
            upper-class,  socialite  home.    She  was  introduced  as  a
            debutante  and  has always moved in the circles of  the  very
            rich.   She  falls in love with at country boy who will never
            make  the kind of money to support her in the style to  which
            she has been accustomed.  Nor will he ever move in the social
            circles she enjoys.  Should she marry this man?

        3.  Are  you  prepared  to count the cost  of  re-arranging  your
            personal time and priorities according to God's priorities in
            marriage and family life?  God's priorities are as follows:

            First, the development of a personal walk with the Lord,
            "But  seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,  and  all
            these things will be given to you." (Matt.6:33)

            Second, you must meet the needs of your mate.

            I would like you to be free from concern.   An unmarried  man
            is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please his
            wife. (1 Cor. 7:32-33)

            Third,  you  must  meet  the needs of  your  children.   Your
            children  come after your mate.   Child-centered  homes  have
            destroyed numerous marriages and just about as many children.
            The  best thing you can do for your children is to love  your
            mate.   Many sociological studies have confirmed that this is
            as important to a child as their parents  love for the child.

            Fourth, you must fulfill any job or ministry responsibilities
            outside  the home.   According to the Bible,  the vitality of
            the home life is what gives a man the qualifications to  have
            a  ministry  (1 Tim.  3:1-8).   If your job is such that  you
            cannot   fulfill  these  other  priorities  to  your   wife's
            satisfaction, you should consider another job.

         Is this Person Committed to God's Viewpoint on Sex?
            Note comments of Chapter 2:7, pages 30 and 31.
            No necking, no petting on dating.

                               END of STUDY EIGHT