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SOLOMON.S08
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Study No. 8.
SONG OF SOLOMON
LOOSING THE FIRST LOVE CONT. - Chapter 3:1 - 3:5
3:1 - "By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth. I
sought him but I found him not."
a) She sought him on the bed. He may have been there
previously, but He had long since moved on to other
areas. The last time she had seen Him He was leaping on
mountains, etc, and challenging her to leave her wall and
co-operate with Him. She is now attempting to revert to
an experience with the King prior to that challenge,
which was more comfortable.
At times we hold onto the spiritual experience which suit
us, to the exclusion of the Lord Himself and when we seek
Him in past things, He is no longer there. He must be
sought where He is, instead of where He used to be.
Whole denominations are built around a past move of God
and are bereft of the actual presence of the Lord
because of this.
b) The bed had previously been "our" bed (1:16), but now it
is "my" bed. She has become possessive of His benefits
to her and has enjoyed what He has done for her more than
she enjoys Him. This is idolatry.
c) The word "night" is plural - "nights", indicates that
both the condition of their separation and her fruitless
search for Him continued for a considerable period.
Religion has such a dulling effect on the senses that
people get caught going through the motions without
realizing what is happening.
d) However, she is at least beginning to search for Him. At
the end of chapter 2 she was satisfied to be separated
from His presence, and to be out of harmony with His
working. Her self indulgence has failed to satisfy and
now there is a deep cry for restoration and she
eventually comes to the realization that as in 1:8, she
again doesn't know the way to go. In 2:17 she had
assumed that she could find Him whenever she chose, and
had lost sight of a basic principle of spiritual life.
The King must bring us in. The plan of God for us is at
His initiative. "No man comes to me except the Father
draw Him", Jesus said. (John 6:44)
Her search for Him fails and the traditions and past
experiences she is clutching to, are unable to restore
his presence.
3:2 - "I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and
in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth. I
sought him, but I found him not."
a) She arises. This is the first step to restoration. She
leaves what she had made hers, "my bed". Religion is a
spiritual experience past or present which no longer
contains the presence of the King, and she now sees it as
a hindrance. Though she has failed to walk with Him, her
soul loves Him deeply and in the long term nothing else
can satisfy her. The prodigal son began his steps to
full restoration by "arising" - Luke 15:18.
b) However, once again her search is in the wrong place -
she goes about the city. This is the structure of man.
In fact the first city was built by Cain (Gen. 4:17) and
Babel was a city built in rebellion (Gen. 11:4). Many of
the judgements of God fall on cities. The Shulamite has
already had problems in her relationship with the King
because of walls. He has never been seen in the city in
the Book so far.
The city speaks of man-made and man-organized religion.
Previously she sought him in the area of her past
experience, "my bed". Now she seeks him in the
structures of others. It had been her prayer not to be
turned aside by the flocks of the companions, but she is
hindered from finding the King when she wishes to find
him because of the interference of man-made institutions.
The streets are established ways. Most religions systems
function on an adherence to history and set rigid
routines for spiritual practice. The broadways represent
rationalizing of God's ways. His way is straight and
narrow, but the road to destruction expands on His laws
and substitutes human thinking for His thoughts. Note,
Matt. 7:13, and Is. 55:8-9.
3:3 - 4 - "The watchman that go about the city found me, to whom
I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth? It was but a
little while that I passed from them, but I found him
whom my soul loveth. I held him and would not let him
go, until I had brought him into my mother's house, and
into the chamber of her who conceived me."
a) The watchmen could not help her to find the King. It had
been a personal disobedience and it had to be a personal
search and restoration. This was not a matter for anyone
else to take part in.
They were dedicated to the preservation of the city, and
their emphasis and desire was different from hers. There
is no suggestion that they answered and it appears that
they were incapable of relating to her need.
b) As soon as she left them, she found the King. Both the
city and those dedicated to its preservation are now
behind her. She has finally obeyed the call He made to
her in 2:8. She is out from behind her wall at last.
c) Jer. 29:13 declares that we can find God when we search
for Him with all our heart. It is apparent that
searching in the wrong places is not searching with all
the heart. He had previously given her commands and only
whole-hearted obedience constitutes correct seeking.
The restoration of relationship is immediate. There is
no gradual acceptance of her by the King.
d) She held Him and would not let Him go, which shows us the
closeness of their restored relationship and her
commitment to maintain it. She has learned some
positive lessons through her negative and regressive
experiences. In 1:2 she had wanted Him to kiss her, now
she is so motivated by the restoration, that like Jacob,
she will not let go of God (Gen. 32:26). It was this
determination for God's presence and blessing which
changed Jacob forever and it also brings the Shulamite to
a new place with the King.
e) She brought Him to her mother's house. She didn't go
back to "our house", but to the natural things of her
experience.
Jerusalem from above is the mother of us all (Gal. 4:26).
This teaches us that the system of grace which we are in
has many necessary and valid facets and functions which
must have the presence of the King in order to avoid
becoming merely religions. Such things as programmes and
organizations and the utilization of talents and
abilities, education and training, are not evil, but will
become a hindrance unless they are energized and given
meaning by the King's presence.
f) She had so seriously refused the call of the King and
missed moving with Him that she is now feeling the need
for a total and in-depth work to be done in her life to
avoid such a rebellious and self-centered attitude to Him
in the future. She takes Him to the chamber where she
was conceived. This represents the basic foundations of
her life and suggests the need to return to basic
salvation and build a better relationship with thinking
based on proper attitudes which will emphasize His glory
rather than a grasp for blessings for herself.
3:5 - "I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes,
and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor
awake my love, till it please."
This verse is the end of the second section of the book - the
period of faltering love.
The first section ended with her in the King's arms and this
second section ends with Him in her arms.
This shows us the need for reciprocation of the King's love.
Previously their relationship depended on the King providing
gifts and blessings for her, and as the recipient of all this
bounty, she begins to become self-centred and gift-conscious.
Now that she is restored to Him and has taken Him into both
the ordinary and foundational levels of her life, she is
giving love instead of only receiving it. The second section
which starts so disastrously, finishes on a better plane, as
the King's patient and constant encouragement to the Bride to
join Him finally creates a hunger in her and produces needed
change. Her prayer of 1:4, "draw me", has not been forgotten
by Him, nor is it answered only once and then discarded. He
keeps it by Him to act on as the occasion demands. Note 1
Kings 8:59.
COMMENT
The relevance of this section of the Song to contemporary
dating and engagement is obvious. There are, perhaps, four
central points emphasized here that deserve expanded comment.
These four points constitute four objectives of engagement as
taught by the Song of Solomon.
God's Purposes in Engagement
A. To get to know each other. "A springtime visit" 2:8,
2:14.
B. To work through problems. "Catch the little foxes" 2:15,
2:17.
C. To consider the cost. "I sought him but did not find
him" 3:1, 3:4.
D. 3:5 - In view of these factors, be sure not to arouse
sexual passion until you are sure he/she is God's man or
woman.
To get to Know One Another in Ways Other than Physical
Let's consider some general questions about any person's
qualifications for marriage.
1. Is he or she totally committed to Jesus Christ?
The Bible prohibits marriage to a non-believer (2 Cor. 6:14).
It also discourages "missionary" dating. Dating a person in
order to "win him for Christ" rarely works out. Generally
people end up marrying someone they date. Therefore, if you
date non-Christians you'll probably end up marrying one.
2. Does this person make you feel unconditionally accepted?
If you feel you are on a performance basis now, it will get
worse when you are married. The love described in 1 Cor.
13:4-7 is foundational to Christian marriage. It is an
unconditional love.
3. Is this person able to respond with a blessing when hurt or
offended by you or someone else?
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with a
blessing, because to this you were called so that you may
inherit a blessing (1 Pet. 3:9).
4. Is this person committed to God's priorities of family life?
Briefly, a married person's priority list according to
Scripture, when a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out
with the army, nor be charges with any duty; he shall be free
at home one year and shall give happiness to his wife whom he
has taken (Deut. 24:5).
5. Is this person financially responsible?
Jesus taught that you can tell a lot about a person's inner
spiritual life by how he or she handles money.
So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly
wealth, who will trust you with true riches? (Luke 16:11)
7. Is this person submissive to constituted authority?
Paul says husbands and wives should:
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Eph.
5:21).
To Discern and Resolve Potential Problems
1. Take a careful look at temperament differences. She may have
a "leader," aggressive type temperament, and he may have a
"follower" type temperament.
2. Take a careful look at background differences. The man may
come from a large, rollicking family with easy-going, untidy
ways, and virtually no discipline. She on the other hand,
might come from a small family where there was stern
discipline and little affection shown.
3. Discern one another's aspirations and goals. An extremely
profitable and enlightening evening can be spent discussing
one another's dreams and goals. As an exercise, each of you
write out a personal philosophy of life. Include your value
system, your ambitions, what you consider the most important
things in life.
4. Discern one another's feelings about children and child
discipline. How many children do you want? Many a young
bride is shocked to find that her husband doesn't even want
children.
5. Discuss present relationships with parents and in-laws. All
the jokes about in-laws have some basis in fact. You are not
just marrying a man; you are marrying into his family.
6. Are either of you financially in debt? Most judges will tell
you this is the number two problem in marriages today.
To Count the Cost of Marriage to this Particular Person
There are at least three "cost factors" that everyone should
objectively consider before entering into marriage.
1. Since no one is perfect, you need to honestly evaluate your
capacity to absorb the difference between where your
potential mate is an where he or she ought to be, between the
ideal Scripture and the reality of his or her present state
of maturity.
2. Do you have the capacity to embrace his or her lifestyle and
calling?
Here is a young couple, very much in love. She comes from an
upper-class, socialite home. She was introduced as a
debutante and has always moved in the circles of the very
rich. She falls in love with at country boy who will never
make the kind of money to support her in the style to which
she has been accustomed. Nor will he ever move in the social
circles she enjoys. Should she marry this man?
3. Are you prepared to count the cost of re-arranging your
personal time and priorities according to God's priorities in
marriage and family life? God's priorities are as follows:
First, the development of a personal walk with the Lord,
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all
these things will be given to you." (Matt.6:33)
Second, you must meet the needs of your mate.
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man
is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please his
wife. (1 Cor. 7:32-33)
Third, you must meet the needs of your children. Your
children come after your mate. Child-centered homes have
destroyed numerous marriages and just about as many children.
The best thing you can do for your children is to love your
mate. Many sociological studies have confirmed that this is
as important to a child as their parents love for the child.
Fourth, you must fulfill any job or ministry responsibilities
outside the home. According to the Bible, the vitality of
the home life is what gives a man the qualifications to have
a ministry (1 Tim. 3:1-8). If your job is such that you
cannot fulfill these other priorities to your wife's
satisfaction, you should consider another job.
Is this Person Committed to God's Viewpoint on Sex?
Note comments of Chapter 2:7, pages 30 and 31.
No necking, no petting on dating.
END of STUDY EIGHT