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This study was prepared by:- COPYRIGHT
Pastor Ralph MORLEY (Ph 079 971 478) ~~~~~~~~~
P O Box 158 MOURA Qld 4718 You may COPY and DISTRIBUTE.
This Program is FREE.
It MUST be distributed ONLY in
Distributed by - Alphon Edugames COMPLETE FORM. It must NOT be
221 Ridley Road altered in any way. It may be
Bridgeman Downs 4035 AUSTRALIA packed in your choice of
format (Arc Pak Zip ? ? )
TO THE GLORY OF GOD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Study No.1. THE SONG OF SOLOMON
INTRODUCTION - PART ONE
" THE FALLING IN LOVE FALLACY "
Before an adequate study of the Song of Solomon can be entered
into, the question of how love occurs between two people must be
examined. Unless a clear understanding of the factors which
cause a man and a woman to love one another is established, there
will be misinterpretation of this book - the theme of which is
the love relationship between Christ and His Church.
For some centuries the world has been deluded by the serious idea
that love is some magical and mysterious effect generated by
forces external to us. This mysterious power is believed to
smite a person with an uncontrollable emotional stirring which
completely cancels out the power of the will and diminishes human
responsibility.
This idea that people "fall in love" is both a fallacy and a
dangerous supposition which is part of the cause of many marriage
failures. If people have love thrust on them by some outside
force, then that love can also be taken away, ie. they can just
as easily fall out of love with their first partner, and be
smitten with "love" for someone else. In this case, it is "fate"
which is responsible.
1. THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE MODERN ROMANCE SYNDROME
A. Initially this was probably developed in Greek mythology.
Certainly the idea was advanced that there was a god of
love - EROS (from which the word erotic stems). This god
of love was known by the Romans as Cupid (the word in
Latin means "desire"). He is most often represented in
art as carrying a bow and wearing a quiver of arrows, and
the Greek idea of romance arises from the myth of Cupid
Psyche which appeared in the "metamorphoses" or "Golden
Ass" of the Latin writer Lucius Apuleius in the Second
Century A.D.
B. This idea of an outside force directing one's destiny is
also the basis of belief in the horoscope. It is
supposed that mysterious forces generated by the
configuration of the stars control our fate - especially
in the area of love and selections of one's marriage
partner.
C. The romantic view of love expects that when "Mr Right and
Miss Right" meet each other, it will be love at first
sight. They will be swept off their feet with an
uncontrollable emotion since they are fated for each
other. Their destiny is already set. Cupid has been at
work and they have now fallen in love. The attitude
expressed in the marriage vows in so-called liberated
weddings, ie. "to live together as long as we both shall
love", is the end result of this pernicious theory that
love is an emotion stirred by forces external to us and
outside our control.
2. DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF ROMANCE
Webster's Dictionary
Romance - A love affair
- To be fanciful and imaginative
Romantic - Without basis and fact
- To be fanciful and imaginative
- Addicted to or indulging in fantastic, unreal,
sentimental ideas or dreams.
- Visionary
- Not practical
- Escape from reality
I wonder if Brother Webster had some hard knocks in his
romantic life?
3. ROMANTIC DESIRES WERE CREATED BY GOD
Jesus came that we might have life and life more abundantly, so
God's concept of romance will produce a better quality of life.
Whereas, the worlds' view will produce confusion and heartache,
hurts and scars.
The reason God created romantic desires is to motivate us toward
making a marriage choice.
Before you make a decision to marry, you have to be motivated
toward that decision, so God gave romantic desires to motivate us
to that end.
Note These desires can be depressed or they can be inflamed.
You can starve them or you can feed them.
I once heard a girl tell a boy to go starve!!!
Now she wouldn't have told him to do something
impossible, would she?
Now as romance is not the goal but a means to motivate us toward
marriage, so also, marriage is not the goal but is meant to be a
means of helping us fulfill God's desire for our lives.
There is a lot more to life than marriage. Marriage is the
relationship through which God will bring about his (ministry)
purpose in your life.
eg: Adam.
God saw that Adam by himself could not get the work done so
God gave him a help mate. God's purpose for Adam. Gen. 1:28
1. Multiply
2. Subdue
3. Have dominion
Now Adam couldn't do the multiplying bit without Eve, and
most of us will need a marriage partner in order that we can
fulfill God's purpose in life.
Now if marriage is in God's plan for us then the motivating
(desire) force - romance, is meant to be (like any desire within
us) controlled and in submission to Him.
THE BIBLE TEACHING OF TRUE LOVE
It needs to be understood that from earliest times marriages were
not contracted between the young man and young woman on the basis
of their feelings for each other. In most cases the marriages
were arranged by the parents or a marriage broken often against
the wishes of the parties to be married.
Isaac's bride was chosen for him by a servant. Eliezer was
entrusted by Abraham with the responsibility of choosing a woman
with the right heritage and qualities to be a fitting wife for
his master's son. They did not even know each other or meet each
other until the wedding night - Gen. 24. Jacob felt a deep
desire for Rachel and contracted with her father for her hand in
marriage in return for seven years labour on Laban's properties.
However, without even discussing the matter with Jacob, Leah the
oldest sister was substituted for Rachel.
A. The Bible teaches that love is not merely a feeling, but an
act of the will. Eph. 5:25 shows us that love is more than
a romantic stirring. It is a command. Paul made this
declaration, "Husbands, love your wives even as Christ loved
the Church and gave Himself for it", in the context of
arranged marriage it is very likely that some men found
themselves married to a woman who had little appeal to them.
Yet the command is absolute. The will, more that the
emotions, is involved - at least, the action of the will
must come first and then the feelings (ie. romance) will
follow.
Love has been defined as "a sacrificial choice which seeks
the highest and the best for the object of its affection."
B. We also note from Eph. 5 that this love by an act of the
will is required to be:
a) Initiated by the husband
b) Sacrificial - "even as Christ loved the Church and gave
Himself for it"
c) An irrevocable union - "one flesh never to be divided" -
total identification with each other - bone of each
other's bone and flesh of each other's flesh.
C. Love is responsible - 1 Cor. 13:4-5 AMP teaches that love
endures long and is patient and kind, is never envious, nor
boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vain glorious,
and does not act unbecomingly. Love does not insist on its
own rights and its own way for it is not self-seeking,
touchy, fretful or resentful. It takes no account of evil
done to it, and pays no attention to a suffered wrong.
True love accepts the responsibility to become totally
pleasing and compatible with its partner.
D. The Song Of Solomon shows that true love is inexhaustible
and cannot be quenched by circumstances. S.O.S. 8:7.
4. FACTORS REQUIRED TO CHOOSE A PROPER LOVE RELATIONSHIP
A. Attraction . Generally a couple are drawn to each other
because of some pleasing aspect of the other person's
appearance, personality or character. He or she may be
handsome (or beautiful), witty, intelligent, dashing,
exciting, or highly motivated, etc. and these aspects
may have an effect on the other person arousing their
interest. This is a valid place to start in the
development of a relationship, but it is not enough to
build a marriage on alone.
B. Availability. The desired partner may have attractive
qualities, but if they are already married, or have some
other area of disqualification the desire will soon
pass. Also we are generally only drawn to those in the
circle of our acquaintances.
C. Responsiveness. If the object of our affection does not
respond to the initiatives within a reasonable period of
time, the interest in them will wither and be replaced
by a drawing towards someone who will respond.
D. Suitability. This is a deliberate act of choice. A
person may have facets of attractiveness, but still be
entirely unsuited as a marriage partner, either
ethnically, socially, educationally, or spiritually. It
is important to centre the desires on a person who is in
general areas, compatible with you. This does
not mean that the man and woman should be uniform.
There will be many great differences between them, but
there should be sufficient common ground for them to
build a life together on. In this area spiritual
compatibility cannot be overstressed.
E. Covenant. When the selection process has finally
achieved a good result in the choice of one's partner,
it is necessary to seal that with a covenant that is
unbreakable. This is the marriage vow. It establishes
the permanence of the relationship and builds security
into both lives by giving guarantees of exclusivity
- all others are now excluded as possible partners for
all time.
The covenant has a cost to it. The strength of the
covenant is loyalty and the cost of it is death. In
other words, a true covenant means that either partner
would, if necessary, lay down their lives for the other.
F. Surrender. Following the commitment achieved in the
covenant of marriage the way is now prepared for the
full expression of love between the partners. This
finds its expression in the total surrender of each
to the other - Eph. 5:21. A successful marriage is
based on the surrender of selfishness for the benefit of
the other. Marriage is giving and not just receiving.
While authority and submission are important and the
recognition of differing roles in the marriage union,
there is a great need for there to be mutual humility
and a surrender of independence.
G. Intimacy. On the basis of both covenant and surrender, a
true intimacy can be achieved. The marriage can be
consecrated and continually enjoyed as partners give
themselves to each other with no reservations. A proper
intimacy on this basis will serve to strengthen and
promote the marriage relationship.
5. CONCLUSIONS DRAWN FROM THE DEVELOPMENT OF A MARRIAGE
RELATIONSHIP
A. We choose to love God as we have established that love
is choice and not a feeling alone, it becomes apparent
that our relationship with God depends on our decisions
rather than our emotions.
Those who wait for a wonderful feeling of love toward
God to descend on them may never know the joys of an
intimate relationship with the King. The Bible teaches
us that we are to love the Lord our God with all our
heart, soul, mind and strength. Mark 12:30. This
involves our choice process and it becomes a deliberate
responsible act.
B. We learn to love God. Just as there is a process of
drawing one to a full appreciation of the other partner
which eventually leads to a full commitment, so we
gradually learn to see the beauty of the Lord and to
surrender to Him. We love Him because He has taken
the initiative with us. 1 John 4:19.
END of STUDY ONE
