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1993-09-20
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Movie Reviews
Copyright (c) 1993, Bruce Diamond
All rights reserved
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ JASON GOES TO HELL -- THE FINAL FRIDAY: Adam Marcus, │
│ director. Dean Lorey and Jay Huguely, screenplay. Jay │
│ Huguely and Adam Marcus, story. Stars John D. LeMay, │
│ Kari Keegan, Erin Gray, Allison Smith, Steven Culp, and │
│ Steven Williams. New Line Cinema. Rated R. │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
Don't bother with this one. Stay away, in droves.
Expecting something different, just because it's supposedly
THE FINAL FRIDAY? Don't, because this latest mess is just like
the rest -- it even tries to parody itself by shoving the obliga-
tory shower scene into the very front of the movie, complete with
nubile young female, THREE burnt out lights, TWO opened doors to
unlit spaces, and THREE cutaways from the bathroom mirror. (All
of which, including the last one, are staples of cheapjack horror
movies. You know the bathroom mirror scene, you've seen it a
thousand times. Actor looks into mirror, then opens cabinet,
then closes cabinet and we see someone else in the mirror,
standing behind the actor. Big yawn.)
Before we get buried in minutia, here's the bird's-eye
lowdown on this film (whatever that means): Jason gets blowed
up real good by the FBI, but his heart keeps beating. A coroner
feels compelled to eat the heart during the autopsy, and becomes
possessed by Jason's evil spirit. Jason continues to body-hop
his way to Crystal Lake and Erin Gray, who turns out to be
Jason's sister. Dead bodies mount up as a bounty hunter pursues
Jason (armed with knowledge of the Voorhees family and why Jason
is headed home, knowledge that we have *no* idea how he gained --
apparently the bounty hunter is from an earlier movie in the
series), enlisting Gray's daughter and boyfriend to rid the world
of Jason once and for all. An interesting aspect (that of Jason
having become a national fascination) dies away early in the
movie, with no follow-up. The potential for comedy is tossed
aside -- imagine a serial killer groupie jumping on Jason just as
he's about to claim another victim. Hell, generate enough
groupies and Jason would have to go into permanent exile! Case
closed, no more dead teenagers.
SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING! Since
I can't imagine *any* of my more discriminating readers going to
see this dreadful piece of celluloid, I'm going to reveal the
cheat ending to you. Jason is done away with, thanks to a
mystical knife wielded by Erin Gray's daughter, and he's pulled
underground (symbolically, to hell) by massive, demonic arms.
The last shot is Jason's hockey mask lying in the dirt. Well, an
arm pops up out of the dirt, grabs the mask, and sinks back
underground. Can you guess what the hand is wearing? Yep,
that's right -- Freddy Krueger's finger knives. It's a cheap
cheat, and it's the only chuckle you'll get out of the film.
*And* it bodes ill tidings for another FRIDAY THE 13TH, despite
the hype that this is the last one. Let me put it to ya this way
-- New Line Cinema is now producing the Jason pix, but they built
their financial foundation on...you guessed it...NIGHTMARE ON ELM
STREET. Who's for a meeting of the monsters?
I ain't raising *my* hand.
RATING: 0