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- OK, here's the scenario:
-
- You're flying in seat 37B on Big Iron Airlines and halfway thru the flight,
- one of the flight attendants quietly asks you if you're a pilot. You answer
- her in a matter of fact tone that says, "Yes, I am." She then says that the
- Captain would like to talk with you up front! You follow her and once inside
- the cockpit, you sense that all is not right. The flight crew appears to
- all be asleep! Realizing that this is not a freight run, you conclude that
- the aircraft is in serious trouble. The ex-cheerleader flight attendant
- then turns to you, with a small tear in her eye and asks, "Can you fly this
- airplane?" You look around the cockpit and quietly reply, "No, I can't even
- find the Seat Belt sign, let alone the autopilot disconnect. I'll have to
- go back to my seat and add up my frequent flyer bonus miles."
-
- **********************************
-
- Don't let this happen to you! Admit it. Haven't you ever thought about
- being asked to go up front and help land the airplane? Come on, be serious.
- Of course you have, but what happens when the big day actually comes and
- you're up there ready to save all those passengers and probably get a free
- pass forever and you can't even get the landing lights on? BE PREPARED!!!
- Attend a highly technical, resonably intelligent, semi-literate fast paced
- seminar and coffee klatch presented by the:
-
- "Andy Dulay Bluewater 727 School of Boeing Technique"
-
- Be one of the first pilots in your area to learn what most of all those
- weird noises and sights that you see while sitting in seat 37B really mean!
- Amaze your friends and impress that school teacher from Montanna in the next
- seat with your new found knowledge of why the leading edge appears to be
- departing from the wing while landing. Attend one of these schools and
- learn valuable secrets on the 727 that have been hidden from the public for
- years. Give yourself the chance to play with the flaps, turn on the No
- Smoking and Seat Belt signs. Learn what the term "Essential Power" really
- means. Test the radar, and turn the window heat on. Run thru a full
- checklist. Play with the reversers, open the aft airstair and show some
- real power by closing it! And, in a semi-serious note, actually get to open
- and close the main cabin door. You'll be surprised at just how much effort
- it takes to do this seemingly easy task. Anyways, be prepared. You can't
- land a 727 if you can't find all the important switches (coffee maker,
- lavatory flush motors, autopilot). Attend an upcoming seminar from the
- pilot's seat in a 727 at an airport near you. Think about it. The next
- time they say, "The Captain has turned on the No Smoking sign", you'll
- casually turn to the passenger on your right and say, "I can do that!".
- Right now you're probably asking yourself just how much all of this
- technical stuff is gonna cost. Not to worry. A personal class with the
- Chief Instructor (me) will only cost $18,000 plus tax and title. This is
- fully tax deductable (if you have a very good accountant) and will keep my
- wife off my back because then I can afford a swimming pool for the house.
- However, if you're not currently in the 92% tax bracket, the Bluewater
- School of 727 Technique has been known to make exceptions to the tuition
- agreements. We do offer a discount to AVSIG members and helicopter pilots
- which reduces the cost to a cup of coffee and two jelly donuts. The schools
- are scheduled on an "as available" basis. This months school (Jan-Mar 1991)
- will be in Newark, NJ as the instructor (me) is flying that run with a
- layover there every evening. I've had literally thousands of completely
- satisfied customers. Well, maybe hundreds. Well, at least Don Felkin in
- Cleveland liked it. In fact he liked it so much, he rides around on
- airliners now, just waiting for his chance to hit the seat belt sign and
- take over!
-
- Looking forward to giving other pilots the chance to play with the toys that
- I get to play with.
-
- Andy (Bluewater 727 School, Inc.)
-
-
- P.S.
- Due to a restructuring of my life for reasons beyond my control, the
- ADBW727SoBT is now using the Boeing 757 as a vehicle for instruction. So if
- you want to see what the "Glass Cockpit" concept is all about, be sure and
- drop a message to me sometime on the Sig.
-
- PP.SS.
- Due to still another restructuring of my life for the good of the company,
- effective July 1, 1990 the ADBW727SoBT will officially becomes the
- ADBW747SoBT. Yes, you read it right, this great school is now available
- for all in the famous Boeing 747. So if you've ever wanted to have a heart
- attack while climbing up the stairs just to get half-way up the ladder to the
- cockpit, well here's your chance.
- Andy (Bluewater 747 School, Inc.)