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                                                                                BEHAVIOR, Page 60

When Kids Kill Abusive Parents


Once seen as evil or ill, these desperate youngsters are gaining
new sympathy

By ANASTASIA TOUFEXIS -- With reporting by Hannah Bloch/New York
and Jeanne McDowell/Los Angeles


    In the tiny community of Cement, Oklahoma, trees and
telephone poles are festooned with pink ribbons. People work
tirelessly to collect signatures on petitions. The activity is
in support of Billie Joe Powell, a 16-year-old girl charged with
fatally shooting her father, who had allegedly abused her.
Townspeople hope their efforts will help persuade the court to
try the high school sophomore not as an adult but as a juvenile,
so that she will receive more lenient treatment.

    A few years ago, such sympathy would have been unheard of.
Children who killed their parents were the ultimate pariahs.
Regarded as evil or mentally ill "bad seeds," they virtually
always earned the harshest judgment of the public and the
courts. Says psychologist and attorney Charles Patrick Ewing of
the State University of New York at Buffalo: "We take the
commandment to `honor thy father and thy mother' very seriously.
The implication is that you're supposed to honor your parents
even if they abuse you."

    That attitude is slowly starting to change. Today
youngsters who slay abusive parents are drawing more
understanding from a public that has awakened to the national
nightmare of child abuse. Last year an estimated 2.7 million
youngsters were physically, mentally and sexually assaulted by
their parents, according to the National Center for Prevention
of Child Abuse. Despite the prevalence of abuse, parricide
remains rare. It accounts for about 2% of all homicides, around
300 cases a year. Most of those involve teenagers who kill
abusive parents. Though the numbers are small, these youngsters
"open a window on our understanding of child abuse in a way that
no one else can," says Los Angeles lawyer Paul Mones, whose
practice is devoted to defending children accused of parricide.
"They allow us to understand how abuse is incubated."

    Sons are more likely than daughters to strike back
violently. "Men by and large tend to act outwards and be more
aggressive," says Ronald Ebert, senior forensic psychologist at
McLean's Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. "Girls tend to
internalize pain and blame themselves more." Abused girls often
become bulimic or suicidal.

    Typically, the child who kills a parent is from 16 to 18
years old, from a white middle-class family. Most have
above-average intelligence, although their schoolwork may be
below average. They generally are well-adjusted in school and
the community, though they tend to be isolated, without many
friends. They commonly have had no prior run-in with the law.

    Their target is most often the father -- usually a
biological or stepparent rather than an adoptive or foster
parent -- and the typical weapon is a gun kept in the home.
These young people generally do not show any obvious sign of the
mental disorders and self-destructive tendencies shared by
children who strike out at strangers on the street or at
nonabusive parents. In fact, dispatching their tormentor can be
seen as an act of sanity, a last-resort effort at
self-preservation. "They know what they're doing is wrong," says
Dewey Cornell, a forensic psychologist at the University of
Virginia. "But they are desperate and helpless, and they don't
see alternatives."

    Abuse is a mild term for the torture that parents inflict.
When he went on trial for murder last August in Olympia,
Washington, Israel Marquez, 17, recited a litany of abuse that
began when he was seven years old. His stepfather, a deputy
sheriff and martial-arts expert, liked to punch him in the chest
and slap him on the head. When he went through a bed-wetting
period between the ages of seven and 12, the stepfather beat him
with a 2-in.-wide belt. After hearing the boy's tale, the jury
found Marquez guilty of the reduced charge of voluntary
manslaughter. He is expected to be released from prison in
April.

    Donna Marie Wisener's suffering at her father's hand
started at age two and continued into her teens. To mark his
displeasure, he threw oak logs at her; for amusement, he
handcuffed her to a chair. Just as bad for the Tyler, Texas,
girl was the sexual abuse. Her father would send her lewd
Valentines -- "I would like your heart and I assume the rest of
you will follow" read one message -- and give her "rubdowns."
The agony culminated one evening when her father threw her
against the wall, hitting her on the head over and over. He also
beat her mother until she fell unconscious to the floor, then
he threw Donna Marie out of the house. In despair, she returned
and took a loaded revolver from her parents' nightstand. When
her father came at her again, she shot him dead. Last February
she was found not guilty of first-degree murder by reason of
self-defense.

    Mark Martone of Haverhill, Massachusetts, who killed his
father, remembers abuse back to age five, when he told his dad
he was scared of the dark. "Oh, Jesus Christ," said the parent
in disgust. Then he led the terrified boy down to the cellar,
handcuffed his arms over a rafter, turned off the light and shut
the door. Mark dangled in silence for hours. "God forbid if I
cried," he recalls. "I was just like a hanging Everlast bag, you
know? Punch me, punch me." When Mark was nine, his father held
the boy's hand over a red-hot burner as punishment for moving
a book of matches on a bureau. And when he was 15, his dad,
angered by a long-distance phone bill, stuck a gun in his son's
mouth and "told me he was going to blow my brains out."

    Most abused children suffer quietly. The lucky ones find
other supportive adults who nurture them, typically a
nonabusive parent, grandparent, teacher or coach. Some manage
to cope by emotionally numbing themselves or by taking out their
repressed anger on someone other than the abuser. Others find
the torment intolerable. They may run away or try to commit
suicide. Donna Marie Wisener once had a gun in her mouth when
she was discovered by her father, who told her, "Next time do
it right."

    Some seek outside help, but often to no avail. "I spent my
whole childhood trying to get help, and none ever came," says
Roy Rowe, 19, who last year was sentenced to four to 12 years
for killing his stepfather. Neighbors in Vestal, New York,
sometimes called the police when the screams grew too loud from
the beatings -- with a paddle, a belt and a two-by-four -- that
Roy's stepfather gave him, his younger sister and brother, and
his mother. Teachers reported their suspicions of abuse;
relatives tried to intervene. But each time, police officers and
social workers left the children in the home. On his 17th
birthday, Roy shot and killed his stepfather on their front
porch as he came home from work.

    What makes some children finally snap? "They don't pay as
you go with regard to aggression," observes Detroit
psychiatrist Emanuel Tanay. "You might think they're passive,
but they're also explosive." Many parricides occur when the
child is on the cusp of independence, about to break away from
a parent's domination. Sometimes the killing is triggered by a
desire to protect the other parent or siblings.

    Often an escalation in the level of violence precedes the
slaying. Mark Martone was 16 when he shot his father to death.
"This was not a routine beating," he recalls. His father had
slammed his head against a radiator, kicked him in the ribs and
struck him on the skull with a hammer. As he sat in jail the
night of the murder, Mark was still terrified. "Oh, God," he
said to himself, "what am I doing here! Dad's going to kill
me!" Mark was convicted of homicide as a juvenile but was
sentenced to six months probation. Like others who have suffered
the same ordeal, he remains torn by his immense relief, guilt,
grief, even love. "It may sound sick, but I did love him," says
Mark. "I still love him. I mean, he was my father."

    Although a "battered-child-syndrome" defense is beginning
to be recognized, mounting a legal case for these kids is
difficult because the law does not, for the most part, recognize
such killings as self-defense. Though some occur during an
episode of brutal abuse, most happen when parents are in a
vulnerable position: coming in the door, watching television,
cooking dinner with their back turned, or sleeping. That may be
the only time youngsters can overpower their abusers, but it
makes the killing appear to be cold-blooded murder.

    Advocates for abused youngsters contend that such
seemingly premeditated acts can be self-defense. People who
suffer abuse for a long time can become adept at sensing
impending violence. "They are hypervigilant, sensitive to
aggressive cues," explains Mones. "They know when someone is
going to hurt them even though it may not be apparent to the
outside observer." He calls for prosecutors to assign parricide
cases to trained child-abuse investigators rather than to
regular homicide detectives.

    Many mental-health experts now favor treatment rather than
punishment for battered kids, who rarely are violent again.
"These kids don't need to be locked up for our protection,"
observes Buffalo's Ewing. "Some may benefit in the sense that
they've been able to atone and overcome some guilt. But beyond
that, it's really Draconian."

    The larger issue is how to prevent the abuse that leads to
the killing. In addition to strengthening social-service
agencies and enforcing laws that require reporting of suspected
abuse, experts recommend school-based programs that teach
parenting skills to would-be mothers and fathers. Schools could
also educate children about the difference between acceptable
and abusive punishment and tell them where to find help when
parents get out of control. Many abused youngsters think that
hitting and kicking are normal, and most cannot conceive of
turning in their mothers and fathers. Besides saving desperate
youngsters and their parents, educational programs could go a
long way toward ensuring that the violence is not visited on the
next generation. No one should forget that the majority of child
batterers were once battered children themselves.