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DUMB STATE LAWS
(dumblaws.com)
[FORWARD]: There ought to be a law!
Wouldn't the world be a better place
if we just outlawed all the bad stuff?
Well, we tried!
Alabama
It is illegal for a driver to be
blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
Dominoes may not be played on
Sunday.
It is illegal to wear a fake
moustache that causes laughter in
church.
Boogers may not be flicked into
the wind.
Solitaire may not be played on
Sundays.
In Huntsville: If an animal
control officer is in uniform, it
signifies to the public that he is an
animal control officer.
Alaska
Moose may not be viewed from an
airplane.
While it is legal to shoot bears,
waking a sleeping bear for the purpose
of taking a photograph is prohibited.
In Fairbanks: It is considered an
offense to feed alcoholic beverages to
a moose.
In Juneau: Owners of flamingos may
not let their pet into barber shops.
Arizona
Hunting camels is Prohibited
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
It is illegal to manufacture
imitation cocaine.
In Glendale: Cars may not be
driven in reverse.
In Prescott: No one is permitted
to ride their horse up the stairs of
the county court house.
In Tombstone: It is illegal for
men and women over the age of 18 to
have less than one missing tooth
visible when smiling.
Arkansas
The Arkansas River can rise no
higher than to the Main Street bridge
in Little Rock.
In Little Rock: It is unlawful to
walk one's cow down Main Street after
1:00 PM on Sunday.
California
Sunshine is guaranteed to the
masses.
In Arcadia: Peacocks have the
right of way to cross any street,
including driveways.
In Baldwin Park: Nobody is allowed
to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
In Burlingame: It is illegal to
spit, except on baseball diamonds.
In Chico: Detonating a nuclear
device within the city limits results
in a $500 fine.
In Dana Point: One may not use
one's own restroom if the window is
open.
In Eureka: Persons may not sleep
on a road.
In Hermosa Beach: No person may
show his or her buttocks on a play
ground.
In Indian Wells: It is illegal for
a trumpet player to play his
instrument with the intent of luring
someone to a store.
In India Wells: Drinking
intoxicating cement is prohibited.
In Los Angeles: It is illegal to
cry on the witness stand.
In Los Angeles: You may not hunt
moths under a street light.
In Los Angeles: Toads may not be
licked.
In Pacific Grove: It is illegal to
molest butterflies.
In Portola: No Person may carry a
fish into a bar.
In Redlands: Motor vehicles may
not drive on city streets unless a man
with a lantern is walking a head of
it.
In San Francisco: Elephants may
not stroll down Market Street unless
they are on a leash.
San Francisco: It is illegal to
wipe one's car with used underwear.
San Francisco: Persons classified
as "ugly" may not walk down any
street.
San Francisco: It is illegal to
pile horse manure more than six feet
high on a street corner. (5'11" is OK?
-ED)
Colorado
In Denver: It is unlawful to lend
your vacuum cleaner to your next-door
neighbor.
In Sterling: Cats may not run
loose without having been fit with a
tail light.
Connecticut:
In order for a pickle to
officially be considered a pickle, it
must bounce.
In Devon: It is unlawful to walk
backwards after sunset.
In Hartford: You aren't allowed to
cross a street while walking on your
hands.
In Hartford: You may not educate
dogs.
Delaware:
Fenwick Island: It is illegal to
have a picnic on the highway.
Rehoboth Beach: No person shall
pretend to sleep on a bench on the
boardwalk.
Florida:
A special law prohibits unmarried
women from parachuting on Sunday or
she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or
jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a
parking meter, the parking fee has to
be paid just as it would for a
vehicle.
Men may not be seen publicly in
any kind of strapless gown.
Having sexual relations with a
porcupine is illegal.
It is considered an offense to
shower naked.
You are not allowed to break more
than three dishes per day, or chip the
edges of more than four cups and/or
saucers.
Oral sex is illegal.
It is illegal to sell your
children.
The state constitution allows for
freedom of speech, a trial by jury,
and pregnant pigs to not be confined
in cages.
Palm Bay: Persons may not tow a
sled behind their bicycles.
Pensacola: A women can be fined
(only after death), for being
electrocuted in a bath-tub because of
using self-beautification utensils.
Tampa: Women may not expose their
breasts while performing "topless
dancing".
Georgia:
Donkeys may not be kept in
bathtubs.
The term "sadomasochistic abuse"
is defined so broadly, that it could
possibly be applied to a person
handcuffing another in a clown suit.
Atlanta: Against the law to tie a
giraffe to a telephone pole or street
lamp.
Jonesboro: It's illegal to say
"Oh, boy."
Quitman: It is illegal for a
chicken to cross the road.
Hawaii:
Coins are not allowed to be placed
in one's ears.
Idaho:
You may not fish on a camel's
back.
Boise: Residents may not fish from
a giraffe's back.
Pocatello: A person may not be
seen in public without a smile on
their face.
Illinois:
You must contact the police before
entering the city in an automobile.
The English language is not to be
spoken.
Champaign: One may not pee in his
neighbor's mouth.
Chicago: Law forbids eating in a
place that is on fire.
Eagle: Bicycles are not allowed in
the tennis courts.
Evanston: Bowling is forbidden.
Joliet: Town fathers, reflecting
the pet peeve of hearing their town's
name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when
all local folk know it's pronounced
'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it
Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable
by a $5 fine.
Kenilworth: A rooster must step
back three hundred feet from any
residence if he wishes to crow. Hens
that wish to cackle must step two
hundred feet back from any residence.
Park Ridge: Trucks may only park
inside closed garages.
Zion: It is illegal for anyone to
give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or
any other domesticated animals.
Indiana:
Pedestrians crossing the highway
at night are prohibited from wearing
tail lights. (See Kansas -ED)
The value of Pi is 3.2, and not
3.1415.
It is illegal for a man to be
sexually aroused in public.
Gary: Within four hours of eating
garlic, a person may not enter a movie
house, theater, or ride a public
streetcar.
South Bend: It is illegal to make
a monkey smoke a cigarette.
Iowa:
One-armed piano players must
perform for free.
Kisses may last for no more than
five minutes.
Indianola: The Ice Cream Man and
his truck are banned.
Marshaltown: Horses are forbidden
to eat fire hydrants.
Kansas:
Pedestrians crossing the highways
at night must wear tail lights. (See
Indiana -ED)
If two trains meet on the same
track, neither shall proceed until the
other has passed.
Lawrence: No one may wear a bee in
their hat.
Overland Park: One may not picket
a funeral.
Topeka: The installation of
bathtubs is prohibited.
Kentucky:
Throwing eggs at a public speaker
could result in up to one year in
prison.
Fort Thomas: Dogs may not molest
cars.
Lexington: By law, anyone who has
been drinking is "sober" until he or
she "cannot hold onto the ground."
Louisiana:
It is illegal to steal a "movable"
even if it classified as an
"immovable"
It is illegal to rob a bank and
then shoot at the bank teller with a
water pistol.
Biting someone with your natural
teeth is "simple assault," while
biting someone with your false teeth
is "aggravated assault."
It is illegal to gargle in public
places.
It is a $500 fine to instruct a
pizza delivery man to deliver a pizza
to your friend without them knowing.
New Orleans: You may not tie an
alligator to a fire hydrant.
New Orleans: It is illegal for a
woman to drive a car