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F271.SBE
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1992-04-30
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ JENKINS' TEN LAWS OF BUSINESS SURVIVAL │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
By Michael D. Jenkins, CPA and Attorney
---------------------------------------
. THE FIRST LAW: "Never trust a bookkeeper who comes to work in
a chauffeured Rolls-Royce."
. THE SECOND LAW: "A dollar borrowed is a dollar earned."
. THE THIRD LAW: "Steal only the best."
. THE FOURTH LAW: "Never invest in anything except your own busi-
ness. Otherwise, always keep all your money
hidden under your mattress, where only the
government can steal it."
. THE FIFTH LAW: "Never trust a naked certified public accountant.
Or one with clothes on."
. THE SIXTH LAW: "Never, ever, trust anybody named Larry, Sammy,
or Lenny."
. THE SEVENTH LAW: "Never trust a treacherous, conniving, thieving,
claim-jumping, well-poisoning, witness-suborning
lawyer." *
. THE EIGHTH LAW: "A limited partnership is a business arrangement
where, at the outset, the limited partners have
the money, and the general partners have the
experience, and at the end, the roles are
reversed. Try to remember that."
. THE NINTH LAW: "Never forget that the bureaucrat who smiles when
something has gone seriously wrong has already
found someone to blame it on."
. THE TENTH LAW: "If it's important, always get it in writing up
front. Your own mother will cheat you blind if
you don't."
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
(* There is a corollary to the Seventh Law, which holds that "All
lawyers are treacherous, conniving, thieving, claim-jumping,
well-poisoning, witness-suborning &!#*#-*@&*#)#*%&*#$%es.")