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Text File  |  1993-04-09  |  9KB  |  159 lines
  1. 072010303050000144002006006010000
  2. 11
  3. 2Page #1
  4. F0110000001
  5. 9[..◆.◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆.]0110
  6. üHiddenArticle#1
  7. Ç
  8. Yes,youareright,thisisthefirsthiddenarticle,whichisharderto
  9. findthantheotherone,andsinceyouwon'tfindit,wehavedecidedto
  10. boreyoutodeathifyoudidit.Wedonotknowexactlyhowyoumanaged
  11. tofindthisarticle,butwesuspectthatyoucheated,younaughtyone!
  12.  
  13. SinceGardisEXTREMELYslow,I,Gladiator,willcompletethisarticlein
  14. Norwegian:Ja,nokanduhadetsågodtGard,nårduikkjekanfåut
  15. fingeren.DettevilgjedenneblekkadykkarelendigPR,ogegvilikkje
  16. haskuldafordet.Denfårdutasjølv,nårdusomsagtikkjefekkut
  17. fingeren.(Dingris...)Somsagtvertdetteuendelegkeisamtforfolksom
  18. ikkjekannorsk,ognestenverrefordeisomkan.Egharnemlegikkje
  19. nokosomhelståfortelje.Detteerfaktiskberrepisspreik,fråJtil
  20. densistebokstavenegvilskrive.Detfårvisjå.Tja,kvavertdettil,
  21. Gard?Harhansettsegfast?Sluttårote...!!!Ja,herstodvidå,og
  22. deterdetandresomgjerogså.Deterfaktiskmykjesomstårher
  23. omkring,ognokandulureno,foregvilikkjeforteljenoko.Egkanvel
  24. tavarepåeinløyndom,ja.Fordet,så.
  25.  
  26. Fingerout....B^PPOkay!Asarewardforfindingthisarticle,here'sa
  27. nicedrawingbyHenningKlaskala(klaskala@Informatik.TU-Muenchen.DE):
  28.  
  29.                ________                           ________
  30.          _,=**************,_                 _,**************=,_
  31.       _,*********************,_           _,*********************,_
  32.     ,***************************,       ,***************************,
  33.   ,*******************************,   ,*******************************,
  34.  ,*********************************, ,*********************************,
  35. ,************************ ,;ssssssss;. *********************************,
  36. ******************** ____sSSSSSSSSSSSSs, ********************************
  37. ******************* / __O)SSSSSSSSSSSSSSs            ********************
  38. ****************** / ___O)SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS _-TTTTTT--_  ******************
  39. ***************** / ___O)SSSSSSSSS'     |///|||\\\\\\\\ *****************
  40. **************** / __O)SSSSSS(@)S' ====/=_ '||||\\\\\\\\ ****************
  41. **************** \sSSSSSSSSSS()     ~=|_  ~  ||||\\\\\\\\ ***************
  42. **************** {SSSSSSSSSS'         |       ||||||||||| ***************
  43. T*************** {SSSSSSS'         _/~'       ||||||||||| **************T
  44. `*************** {SSSSS'   \      (x)         ||||||||||| **************'
  45.  `*************  /          ~-_   /~          ||||||||||| *************'
  46.   `************ |            / ~~~\______--~  ||||||||||| ************'
  47.    `*********** |           | \ ****** /      ||||||||||| ***********'
  48.     `********* |   _-----__ |  \ **** /       ||||||||||| **********'
  49.       ~******* |           ~~-__`----/ __----_||||||||||| ********~
  50.         ~***** |                ~~-_/ /       |||||||\\\\\ *****~
  51.           ~** |                     ~~--__     \\\\\\\\\\\\***~
  52.             ~**                           ~~----\\\\\\\\\\**~
  53.               ~**                                \\\\\\\**~
  54.                 ~** --__                          \\\\**~
  55.                   ~**,. ~~--__                    ||**~
  56.                     ~****;,.. ~~~---____         .**~
  57.                       ~************;,.. ~~~~~~~.**~
  58.                         ~***********************~
  59.                           ~*******************~
  60.                             ~***************~
  61.                               ~***HK'93***~
  62.                                 ~*******~
  63.                                   ~***~
  64.                                    `*'
  65.  
  66. 9[..◆.◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆.]0110
  67. ÇAndnow...fromafriendofmine...animmediatereactiontoScriba1.1
  68. and1.2(hereadtheASCIIversionthroughemail)...:
  69.  
  70. üUs we are, we are us, -are we us?
  71. Çshort story by Andre Werner Asbjørnsen
  72.  
  73. I,Berol,wrotethisStorybythebeginningofTime.TheStoryiswritten
  74. asheardbytheStorytelleroftheUniverse...
  75.  
  76. ....Weareverypleasedwithyourtrulyamazingspeedwhenitcomesto
  77. theabilitytoproducehugeamountsofbargage,(-yep)!Whatyouwriteis
  78. literarynotevengoodenoughtobenamedgarbage.Wemustsayweare
  79. sorryaboutthis,butwehavegivenyouyourfairchance.Youwillnowbe
  80. exterminated,nevertothinkathoughtbyyourselfagain,(wedoubtif
  81. youeverhaveexperiencedthefellingofdoingsoanyway..).Wewill
  82. concludethisstatementbypressingthebutton.
  83.  
  84. -Afaintcrysoundedthroughthevoid"Nooo,notthebutton..."Toolate.
  85.  
  86. "Click"-abuzzingsoundwasheard.AsIsattherelookingatuspressing
  87. thebuttonafreezingfeelingwentdownmyspine,Ishivered.Nowwasthe
  88. time,theendingoflifeasIknewit,thedawnofanewera.Mylegsgot
  89. strappedtothechair,myarmsheldthighttogetherbyabigbully,-then
  90. shecame.Shewasenormous,extravagant,notsexyatall,lookedlikea
  91. norsecorrespondentinMoscowdecadesago.Shewasdressedinawhite
  92. dresswithanapronandyellowglowesstrechinguptoherelbows.Makeup
  93. inmanybrightcolourswassmearedoverherbigfaceasdonewitha
  94. paintroller.Shecurledupherupperlip,playedwithhertongueonher
  95. sharpteethandswayedherhips.(Imagineahippodancingdisco).Then
  96. sheseparatedmylegs.Itriedtoresist,buttonoeffect.Shebendt
  97. down,stillwithhermouthopenandstartedtosuckmywillie.Horrified
  98. andoutofbalanceemotionallyIhadnochancetomakeitgrow..-she
  99. noticedthisafterawhile,gavemea*cute*smileandwithaquick
  100. snappingsounditwasallgone.
  101.  
  102. "Shestolemydick!"wasallIwasabletosaybeforetheyusedan
  103. electrocutorontheremainingsofmypride.Atleastitstoppedthe
  104. bleeding.ButIwasnothappy.
  105.  
  106. "Why,ohwhydidIdeservesuchadestiny???"Icried...
  107.  
  108. Therewasnooneleftintheroomexceptus."Whoareyouanyway??"
  109. someonecriedoutloud.Westoppedtalking,didthelittleslimetalkto
  110. us?Nooo..,impossible,wehadjustorderedittobeforeverbrainless&
  111. retarded.Thingshadtakenaninterrestingturnnow..tocompensatefor
  112. thelackofafifthlim,therestofthe"thing"nowlookedmorelikea
  113. dickthenit'sdickeverhad(lookedlikeadick).
  114.  
  115. Shouldweanswer??Well,whattheheck.."Weare3,weareme,myselfand
  116. I.Weareus,usweareandusarewe.-Thisshouldforeverconfuseyou.
  117. Weareyourcreator,yourjudgeandyourlawyer."
  118.  
  119. Stunnedtheslime(that'sme)hearthesewords,thentheypoppedoutof
  120. theworldlikeaburstingbubblemadeofsoap.
  121.  
  122. Thiswasthelastwordsthecreaturesaid,I(Berol)hadhadenoughof
  123. thisnonsensehereinthetimecoreandexpelledtheslimetoafaraway
  124. planetwhereitsometimewouldbeaprophetoftheNumber.
  125.  
  126. Sothestoryends...
  127. Ç
  128. --------------------------disclaimer:------------------------------------
  129. StorybyBerol.AnyandallsimilaritiestoZealotispurelyintentional.
  130. -------------------------------------------------------------------------
  131.  
  132.  
  133.  
  134. Now...tomakethishiddenarticleworthreading,Ihavedecidedto
  135. includeapoembyCecilWilliams,afrequentposteronUsenetnewsgroup
  136. rec.arts.poems...
  137.  
  138. ëTetrisDreamsÇ
  139.  
  140. Coloredblocks,falling,
  141. falling,inmymind...
  142. Squares,longs,triads;
  143. myfingerstwitch,
  144. theblocksspin'round.
  145. Shiftleft!no,right!
  146. Lineup,dammit!
  147. Yes!!andthebase
  148. sinksonemorelevel...
  149. Loseonegame,
  150. startthenext.
  151. Allnightlong,
  152. busy,norest.
  153. I'msoweary.
  154. Buttheblocks
  155. keeponfalling...
  156.  
  157.             CecilWilliams10/24/91
  158.             **************************
  159.