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Text File  |  1993-02-28  |  11KB  |  192 lines
  1. 072010303050000144002006006010000
  2. 1###0
  3. 2###0
  4. F0110000001
  5. 9[◆◆......................................................................]0110
  6. Ç
  7. üTHEENCYCLOPAEDIAHOLLANDICA
  8. éByKaiHolst
  9. Ç
  10.  Welcometothehitch-hikersguidetothesecondflattestcountryin
  11. Europe!Thisuniqueencyclopaediaisintendedtobeusedasanexplanation
  12. whenyoucomeacrossinternaljokesandexpressionsintheotherarticles,
  13. butitisalsoafairrepresentationofthecumulatedimpressionsour
  14. recentjourneytoTheNetherlandsleftmewith.Afewthingstonote
  15. are...
  16.  
  17. ü*ÇAllrecordswritteninüBold.
  18. *ÇDifferentexplanationsaremarkedü1)Ç,ü2)Ç,ü3)Ç...
  19. ü*ÇToSwedes,thisisaperpetualencyclopaedia.SeePerpetual!
  20. ü*ÇêHollandÇandêTheNetherlandsÇarebothcommonlyusedasthenameofthe
  21. netherregions.Inthisencyclopaedia,IhaveonlyusedHolland.
  22.  
  23.  
  24. ü24892:ÇAccordingtotheSCRphilosophy,thisnumberrepresentstheanswer
  25. tolife,theuniverseandeverything.
  26. ü42:Çü1)ÇAccordingtoDouglasAdams,thisistheanswertolife,the
  27. universeandeverything.ü2)ÇThenumberoftimesyoushouldexpecttobe
  28. drownedbyyourclosestfriendsifyou'remadenoughtoenteraDutch
  29. publicbath.
  30. üAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø:ÇNorwegiancitizen;Student,editorofSCR,
  31. author,coderandmore.Knownunderalotofpreudonymes,mostofwhich
  32. arelistedinthisencylopaedia.
  33. üAmsterdam:ÇThecapitalofHolland.Drug-capitalofEurope.
  34. üAntidote:ÇNorwegianVirus-Killer,programmedbyKaiHolstincooperation
  35. withGeirØyvindVælidalo.Notreleasedcommerciallyyet.Extremelyand
  36. utterlyfastandcompetitive.
  37. üAphrodite:ÇTheperfectwoman.Adoredsubjectofdiscussionsamongseveral
  38. knownDutchmenaswellasNorwegians.Onthefinger-scaleAphroditeswill
  39. berewardedwith10or9½!
  40. üAuroraBorealis:ÇNorthernlight.Atmosphericalphenomenonwhichcanbe
  41. observedintheareassurroundingthemagneticnorthpole.
  42. üBaldness:ÇThestateofbeingwithouthair.Richardshowsstrongsymptoms
  43. ofsufferingfromB.
  44. üBath:Ç(Or:Swimming-pool)Deathtrap.
  45. üBelCanto:Çü1)ÇNorwegiangroupfromTromsø.Playsbeautiful,eeriemusic
  46. whichsoothesthemind.ü2)ÇItalianformofmusic.InItalian,"BelCanto"
  47. means"Beautifultune/melody".
  48. üBlackMetalT-Shirts,wearerof:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø.
  49. üCarey,Mariah:ÇOKvoice,nicebody,crapmusic.Richard'sPAM.
  50. üCheese:ÇTypeoffoodfoundallovertheworld.Somebrandshavegained
  51. internationalfame,suchastheDutchGoudaandNorwegianJarlsberg.Brown
  52. variantsofcheeseexsts,buttheseareknowntobesuccessfulinNorway
  53. only.
  54. üCoder:ÇPersonwhowritescomputerprograms.Oftenverycorrectly
  55. consideredtobeanti-socialindividuals.
  56. üCoding:ÇStateofproductivity.Oftenachievedafterconsumingoneor
  57. severaltypesofalcohol.Theresultofcodingdependsontheconfidence
  58. onthecoder.
  59. üConfidence/Self-confidence:ÇSeldomlyfoundinHolland.
  60. üCrazyFootnote:Ç(Short:CF!)ShortvariantofCrazyLetter.
  61. üCrazyLetter:Ç(Short:CL!)Highlyunusualformofcommunication,usually
  62. foundbetweenmembersoftheNorwegianandDutchST-societies.Minimum
  63. lengthofaCLis131072bytes(128kB)!Filledwithvariousdrivel,but
  64. isalsotheoriginalsourceofmanyliterarymasterpieces,someofwhich
  65. havebeenpublishedinbothSCRandSTNews.
  66. üCrazyLetter,Ultimate:ÇUltimateCrazyLetterofapproximately845
  67. kilobytes!WrittenbyGardEggesbøAbrahamsen.
  68. üDutchmen:ÇDwellersofthenetherregions;KnownasDutchiesorDigital
  69. Disasters.Avoidifpossible,tameothervise.Treatwithcare,andfeed
  70. thriceaday.
  71. üEggesbønes:ÇSmall(!)placeinwesternNorway.
  72. üEggesbønes,Dwellerof:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø.
  73. üEverlasting:ÇSeePerpetual.
  74. üFinger-scale:ÇScaleoftenusedbyNorwegianmalestodescribetheoutlook
  75. andintelligenceoffemales.Thescalegoesfrom1to10,with10being
  76. thebest.
  77. üFireworks:ÇSmallmissiles,oftenusedinassassinationattemptsagainst
  78. anyunfortunateNorwegiansvisitingthenetherregions.
  79. üFoldableOne,The:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø.
  80. üHair:ÇStatussymbol.Thiscanprobablyexplainthedifferencein
  81. confidencenoticedbetweenNorwegainsandDutchmen.SeeBaldness.
  82. üHardrockCafé:ÇPlaceinAmsterdamwherebrillmusicisplayed!
  83. üHeavyMetal:ÇUltimateMusic!
  84. üHeavyMetalWorshipper:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø.
  85. üHogshead:ÇTheamountofCoca-ColaannuallyconsumedbytheaverageDutch
  86. Student.InUSA,thisequals62gallons(234.5litres);IngreatBritain
  87. itis52½gallons(238.5litres).
  88. üHolland:ÇSmallcountryfirmlysituatedonthecoastoftheNorthSea.Home
  89. countryofDutchmen.Knownformonotonouslandscape,foreignministerswho
  90. cannotspeakproperEnglish,themostdangeroushabitsknownconcerning
  91. fireworks,greatcheeseandtheircoloniesduringthe16thtothe18th
  92. century.Populationunknown,thoughinternationallyregardedas"toobig".
  93. Bitterlycoldinwinter;rumouredtobeslightlylesssoinsummer.
  94. üHolst,Kai:ÇFormerlyunknownNorwegian.Programmer,journalist,author,
  95. walkingencyclopaedia(STNews)andstudent.Co-editorofSCRandfrequent
  96. contributanttoSTNews.LovesJennifer.CurrentlylivesinØvreÅrdal.
  97. üInsanelyWittyOne,The:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø.
  98. üJennifer:ÇPAFofKaiHolst,livinginUSA.Scoresanatural10onthe
  99. finger-scale!
  100. üMack:ÇThebestbeerthereis!
  101. üMidnightSun:ÇPhenomenontobeencounteredinthepolarareasofthe
  102. Earth:Inthesummerthesundoesn'tgobelowthehorizoninareas
  103. north/southoftherespectivepolarcircles.Ofgreathelptoallwhowant
  104. topartyallnightlong.
  105. üMiranda:Çü1)ÇRichardKarsmakers'sPAF.Exceptionalcook!ü2)ÇOneof
  106. Jupiter'smoons-heavenlybodyinmorethanonemeaning.
  107. üModesty:ÇExpressionrelativelyunknowntoNorwegians.
  108. üMoustache:ÇFacialhair-growth.Knowntolookutterlysillyonmostlong-
  109. hairedpersons.
  110. üNetherlands,The:ÇSeeHolland.
  111. üNobel,Alfred:ÇInventorofdynamite.
  112. üNorway:ÇLandoftheMidnightSun,theAuroraBorealisandtheVikings.In
  113. internationalrelations,knownasSlartibartfast'smasterpieceandthe
  114. landoffjords(Mostlygreenones).AlsothehomeofNuttyNorwegians!
  115. üNorwegian,Loneliest:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø.
  116. üNorwegians:ÇSpeciesofnuttyhumanbeingswithvariousabilitiesand
  117. skillsconcerningComputersandLiterature.Believedtobedescendantsof
  118. VikingsandkidnappedDutchvirgins.Perpetuallylaughingspecimensare
  119. knowntoexist.
  120. üO.U.C.H.:ÇNorwegiancodingcrew.Theinitialshavenomeaningasoftoday,
  121. butfeelfreetosendsuggestiontotheSCReditors!
  122. üO.U.C.H.HomeVid':ÇThemostsuccessfulofknownhome-vid's.Humouristic
  123. andentertaining!
  124. üO.U.C.H.HomeVid',Directorof:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø.
  125. üPAF:ÇAbbrevationforPrimarilyAdoredFemale.Inspiteoftherudedirect
  126. Çmeaning,thesewordsdescribewarmloveanddevotion,andnotlustof
  127. flesh.Thefirstlettercanbechangedtoachievepriorityexpressions:
  128. "P"meansprimarily,"S"meanssecondarily,andsoon.
  129. üPAM:ÇAbbrevationforPrimarilyAdoredMusician.SeePAF.
  130. üParagon:ÇNotathingtobefoundinHolland.
  131. üParty:ÇPastimeknowntomostpeople.Usuallyinvolvesmusic,food/drinks,
  132. lotsofpeopleinhighspirits(Bothmaleandfemale),andperhapsevena
  133. videoorten.
  134. üPerpetual:ÇSeeEverlasting.
  135. üPestilence:Çü1)ÇSeeDutchmenorNorwegians,dependingonyoursympathyto
  136. theothernationality.ü2)ÇDutchband(SUX).ü3)ÇMostnon-Norwegians
  137. impressionofbrowncheese.
  138. üPlantiacVieux:ÇDivinedrinkwithanalcoholiccontentsof35%.Cannotbe
  139. describedwithwords.
  140. üPlantiacVieux,Haterof:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø.
  141. üPosthuma,Stefan:ÇAbsent.
  142. üQuartermassExperiment:ÇUndescribablebunchofDutchmaniacs.Thekindof
  143. intelligencetheseguysseemtopossessisnotwhatwe'dusuallycall
  144. intelligence,butratherakindofcreativemadnessmixedwithaninterest
  145. incomputers.Coolguys,though!
  146. üSCR:ÇScribaCommunisResponsi.InternationalNorwegiandiskzineeditedby
  147. GardEggesbøAbrahamsenandKaiHolst.Basedonanon-absurdideaof
  148. magicalnumbers,andfeaturesintellectualliteratureaswellashumorous
  149. tales.SCRispublishedfortheAtarirangeofcomputersandIBMPCs.
  150. üSTNews:ÇInternationalDutchdiskzineeditedbyStefanPosthuma.Olders
  151. knowntohavesurvivedontheAtariST,currentlybeinginitseightyear!
  152. Featuresavarietyofcomputer-relatedarticles,aswellasspecial
  153. literatureissues!
  154. üSTNewsEncyclopaedia,Walking:ÇSeeHolst,Kai.
  155. üToplessOne:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø.
  156. üTOS:ÇTheinternationalabbrevationofTromsøAirport.
  157. üTromsø:ÇParisoftheNorth!thiscityisknowntohaveasurplusof
  158. beautifulgirls,thebestbeerthereisandMidnightSun!
  159. üUltimateCrazyLetter,Creatorof:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø.
  160. üUtrecht:ÇThefourthbiggestcityofHolland.
  161. üUVK:ÇDutchVirusKillerwrittenbyRichardKarsmakers.Verysuccessfulin
  162. spiteofseriouslacksregardingspeedanduser-friendliness.
  163. üVenus:Çü1)ÇPerfectfemale.SeeAphrodite.ü2)ÇOneoftheplanetsofour
  164. solarsystem.
  165. üVikings:ÇThewarriorraceofancientScandinavia.Famousforthejourneys
  166. westwardstoNorth-AmericaandeastwardstoTurkeyandRussia,and
  167. infamousforfrequentkidnappingofDutchvirgins.
  168. üVirgin,OldestNorwegian:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbø.
  169. üVirgins,Dutch:ÇFemaleswhofoundthemselvestheobjectofdesireof
  170. Vikingsapproximatelyathousandyearsago.AccordingtoDutchbelief,
  171. manyofthemwerekidnappedandbroughttoNorway.SeeVikingsand
  172. Norwegians.
  173. üVirusKiller:Çü1)ÇComputerProgramwrittentosearchoutandobliterateso-
  174. calledcomputerviruses.SeeAntidoteandUVK.ü2)ÇProgrammerwhohas
  175. writtensuchaprogram.
  176. üWhiteNoise:ÇBrilliantCD-ShopinUtrecht.
  177. üWoman:ÇFemalecreature.Carbon-basedlifeformsofthefemalesexarethe
  178. solereproductivepossibilitiesofintelligentEarthboundspecies,ie.
  179. mostmammals,evenhumans.Womenaretheprimarytargetofmaleaffection
  180. anddesire,thoughknowntocausediresorrowbyturningthemdown.See
  181. Aphrodite.
  182. üZealotofO.U.C.H:ÇSeeAbrahamsen,GardEggesbøandO.U.C.H..
  183. üÆæØøÅå:ÇThespecialcharactersoftheNorwegiancharacterset,appearing
  184. aftertheZ.Incertainnetherregionslookeduponasapestilence,though
  185. extremelyadoredbymostNorwegians.
  186. üØvreÅrdal:ÇSmallplacesitiatedinamountaincrackinwesternNorway.
  187. Notworthycheckingout,exceptforthemagnificentnature!Thenamecan
  188. betranslatedto"UpperYearwalley"or"UpperOrewalley"withalittle
  189. imagination.
  190.  
  191. üTHEENDÇ
  192.