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SHIT.TXT
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1992-05-09
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THE SHIT LIST
]---------------
[ After a few months of hard work here
[it is.The ultimate list...
]GHOST SHIT:
That's the kind where you feel the SHIT
come out, have SHIT on the toilet paper
but there's no SHIT in the toilet.
]CLEAN SHIT:
The kind where you SHIT it out , see it
in the toilet , but there is nothing on
the toilet paper.
]WET SHIT:
The kind where you wipe your butt 50
times and it still feels unwiped,so you
have to put some toilet paper between
your butt and your underwear so you
don't ruin them with a brown stain.
]SECOND WAVE SHIT:
It happens when you're done shitting.
You've pulled your pants up to your
knees , and then you realize that you
have to SHIT some more.
]BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT
or
]POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD
The kind where you strain so much to
get it out that you practically have
a stroke.
]LINCOLN LOG SHIT:
The kind of SHIT that is so huge that
you are afraid to flush the toilet
without breaking it up into a few
pieces.
]DRINKER'S SHIT:
That's the kind of SHIT you have the
morning after a long night of drinking.
Its most noticeable trait is the tread
marks left in the bottom of the toilet.
]"GEE, I WISH I COULD SHIT" SHIT:
It's the kind where you want to SHIT ,
but all you do is sit on the toilet
cramped and fart a few times.
]BLOODY SHIT:
Self explanatory.
]SPINAL TAP SHIT:
That's the kind that hurts so much
coming out that you swear it's leaving
you sideways.
]WET CHEEKS SHIT
or
]POWER DUMP:
That's the kind that comes out of your
ass so fast that your butt cheeks get
splashed with the toilet water.
]LIQUID SHIT:
The kind where a yellowish-brown fluid
shoots out of your butt , splatters all
over the inside of the toilet bowl, the
whole time chronically burning your
anus.
]MEXICAN FOOD SHIT:
A class all it's own.