OS/2 Shareware BBS: 6 File

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Text File | 1996-08-30 | 10KB | 583 lines

\* National Enquirer Headlines. \* %SPIRITUAL Spiritual Clairvoyant Telepathic Telekinetic Discordian Erotic %RELATIVE Father Uncle Grandfather Grandmother Son Daughter Mother Aunt Postman Accountant Dog Catcher IRS Man Hairdresser Avon Lady Second Cousin %WEAPON{a} {|a }Vibrating Butt Plug {|a }Spoon {|a }Pit Bull {|a }Screwdriver {|a }Meat Cleaver {|a }Hatchet {|a }Machete {|a }23 Inch Dildo {|a }Phased Plasma Rifle {|a }Chain Saw {|a }Samurai Sword {|an }Axe {|a }Machine Gun {|an }Anti-tank weapon \*{\FRUIT|\FRUIT/a} \FRUIT/& %GHOST Ghost Evil Spirt Poltergist Demon Body Thetan Phantom Boogie Man Ghost of Nixon %RELIGION Jehova's Witness Mormon Buddist Methodist Baptist Scientologist Islamic Moslem Roman Catholic Atheist Hindu Sub Genius Discordian Consumerist %UFFO Edsel UFO Flying Saucer Space Ship Mother Ship Space cruiser Yugo USS enterprise Galactic Space Cruiser Flying Lasagna Xist Alien Flying Saucers %PLANET Pluto Mars Venus Uranus Mercury Planet Hollywood Neptune Saturn Planet X Jupiter The Moon %ET{s} Extra-Terrestrial{|s} E.T.{|'s} Space Alien{|s} Pod Pe{rson|ople} Being{|s} Space Being{|s} Cyborg{|s} Humanoid{|s} Alien{|s} Martian{|s} Klingon{|s} Republican{|s} Christian{|s} %DRUG Heroin Jesus LSD Angel Dust Coke Cocaine Religion Crack Quaaludes Amphetamines %FRUIT{as} {|a |}Mango{||es} {|a |}Tomato{||es} {|a |}Banana{||s} {|a |}Cherr{y|y|ies} {|an |}Apple{||s} {|a |}Plum{||s} {|a |}Pear{||s} {|an |}Orange{||s} {|a |}Tangerine{||s} {|a |}Lemon{||s} {|a |}Lime{||s} %MADNESS Crazed Drug-Crazed Insane Manic Depressive Neurotic Psychotic Psychopathic Devoted Religious Fanatical Pathological Rabid %KILLER{s} (2)\KILLERX/& \MADNESS \KILLERX/& %KILLERX{s} \FRUIT/& Great White Shark{|s} Terminator{|s} Ewok{|s} Wombat{|s} Bee{|s} Wasp{|s} Whale{|s} Shark{|s} Lion{|s} Dolphin{|s} Elephant{|s} Worm{|s} Clam{|s} Kitten{|s} Lemur{|s} Lobster{|s} Tiger{|s} Leopard{|s} Panda{|s} Crocodile{|s} Right-Wing Nut{|s} Christian{|s} Cigarette{|s} %MCELEB Ronald Reagan Frank Sinatra JACKO UNABOMBER Prince Mick Jagger Joey Buttafuoco Rupert Murdoch Sylvester Stallone Newt Gingrich Rush Limbaugh Ross Perot Tom Cruise Jack Kevorkian Dennis Rodman O.J. Simpson Jello Biafra David Letterman Yasser Arafat Larry Fortensky Boris Yeltsin Moammar Khadafy Richard Nixon James Brown Marion Barry Bruce Willis Dilbert Marlon Brando John Kennedy Jr. Prince Charles Bill Clinton Bill Gates Calvin Klein Bob Dole Saddam Hussein Howard Stern %FCELEB FERGIE Betty Boop Amy Fisher Lady Di Jamie Lee Curtis Ricki Lake Heidi Fleiss Kathie Lee Gifford Sandra Bullock Whoopie Goldberg Queen Elizabeth Courteney Cox Meg Ryan Nancy Reagan Latoya Jackson Liz Taylor Demi Moore Cher Oprah Martha Stewart Jane Fonda Eva Gabor Madonna Barbra Streisand Hillary Clinton %BABY{s} Bab{y|ies} Child{|ren} Son{|s} Daughter{|s} Rug Rat{|s} %FDEAD\* female persons long dead Cleopatra Joan of Arc Lady Godiva Queen Victoria The Queen of Sheba %DFCELEB\* dead female 'celebrities' Marilyn Monroe Jackie Kennedy Nichole Simpson Betsie Ross Janis Joplin Jane Austin Patsy Cline (4)\FDEAD %MDEAD\* male persons long dead Atilla the Hun King Henry VIII Abraham Lincoln Jesus George Washington Socrates Moses Rasputin %DMCELEB\* dead male celebs (3)Elvis Jimi Hendrix Jim Morrison John F. Kennedy John Lennon Kurt Cobain JFK James Dean Buddy Holly \MDEAD %DCELEB \DMCELEB \DFCELEB %DEAD \FDEAD \MDEAD %EAT{sd} {eat|eats|ate} kidnap{|s|ped} {take|takes|took} kill{|s|ed} consume{s|d} inhale{s|d} engorge{s|d} devour{|s|ed} maim{|s|ed} injure{|s|d} rape{|s|d} %SAY{s} Say{|s} Reveal{|s} \*Admit{|s} Claim{|s} Insist{|s} \*Warn{|s} %DOCTOR{s} Doctor{|s} Psychologist{|s} Psychiatrist{|s} Physician{|s} Neurologist{|s} Dentist{|s} Gynecologist{|s} Urologist{|s} Pediatrician{|s} Vetrinarian{|s} Optician{|s} %SCIENTIST{s} Scientist{|s} \DOCTOR/& Chemist{|s} Physicist{|s} Meta-physicist{|s} Engineer{|s} Computer Scientist{|s} Professor{|s} Technician{|s} Whiz Kid{|s} Brain Boff{|s} AI Expert{|s} Pattern Recognition Researcher{|s} %NATIONALITY Russian Soviet British Polish French Belgian Swiss German Spanish Mexican Ukranian American Canadian Albanian Australian Chinese Japanese %DISEASE Herpes AIDS Flu Leprosy VD the Clap Crabs Impotence the Plague a Backache Chicken Pox Malaria Laryngitis a Nosebleed Tuberculosis Cancer %FICTCHAR Santa Claus Bigfoot Snow White God Mary Poppins The Loch Ness Monster Yogi Bear James Bond Betty Boop Ronald Reagon Jesus Paul Bunyan The Tooth Fairy Kermit the frog Batman Superman Spiderman %KILL{sd} Kill{|s|ed} Murder{|s|ed} Slay{|s|ed} Butcher{|s|ed} Execute{|s|d} Extinguish{|es|ed} Maim{|s|ed} Slaughter{|s|ed} Obliterate{|s|d} Wipe{|s|d} Out Mutilate{|s|d} %NUMBER \NUMBER1 (2)\NUMBER2 Twenty-\NUMBER1 Thirty-\NUMBER1 Forty-\NUMBER1 Fifty-\NUMBER1 Sixty-\NUMBER1 Seventy-\NUMBER1 Eighty-\NUMBER1 Ninety-\NUMBER1 %NUMBER1 Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine %NUMBER2 Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen %FOOD{a} {|a }Taco (5)\FRUIT/& {|an }Enchilada {|a }Burrito {|a }Watermelon {|a }Triple Ice Cream Cone {|a }Tostada {|a }Salty Snack Popcorn %PERSON{s} \KILLER/& Football Player{|s} {Man|Men} Wom{an|en} TV Personalit{y|ies} Game Show Host{|s} Politician{|s} Priest{|s} Preacher{|s} \SCIENTIST/& \DOCTOR/& \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/& \NATIONALITY \DOCTOR/& Unemployed \SCIENTIST/& Student{|s} Air Traffic Controller{|s} \NATIONALITY Student{|s} \ET/& %AIRCRAFT Airplane Helicopter Airship Zepplin GoodYear Blimp Hot Air Balloon Hang Glider Helium Balloon UFO Jet Fighter 747 DC-10 %CELEB \MCELEB \FCELEB %PLACE Redwood City Australia Nevada Austin, Texas Magrathea Outer Space Memphis England San Francisco Castro Street San Jose L.A. New York Orlando, Florida Missouri Middle Earth The Shire Barsoom Planet Vulcan Fremont Airport Tokyo Transylvania Times Square Wall Street San Rafael Israel Beirut Mordor BBC television center Dr. Who's Tardis Stalingrad Moscow Poplar Amsterdam Manchester Edinburgh Red Square Kremlin Mimico Hollywood Daytona Beach Salt Lake City Mississauga Majorca Bangkok Monte Carlo Lisbon Barrie Nirvana %MAIN \CONST.\! %INVOLVED .\! -- \CELEB Reveals All .\! -- \CELEB May Be Involved .\! -- \CELEB Denies Involvement .\! -- \CELEB Reveals From Retreat in \PLACE %PROOF \PHOTO \PHOTO .\! -- \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s Offer Undeniable Proof .\! -- \Conclusive Proof of \CELEB/ 's Controversial Theory %PHOTO .\! -- Exclusive Pictures Inside .\! -- Photographic Evidence Offers Proof .\! -- Artist's Rendering Inside .\! -- Artist's Rendering of \CELEB/ 's Vision Inside .\! -- Holographic Image Projected from \ET/ 's \UFFO Inside .\! -- National Enquirer Photo Exclusive %CONST "Killer \KILLER/s From \PLANET \EAT/d My \BABY" \SAY/s \CELEB\PHOTO "\CELEB Is Really \ET From \PLANET" \SAY/s \CELEB "\CELEB Is Really \ET From \PLANET" \SAY \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s \MCELEB and \FCELEB Secretly Wed in \PLACE, It's Official\PHOTO Eating \FRUIT/s Can Give You \DISEASE, \SAY \NATIONALITY \DOCTOR/s "\ET/s From \PLANET Gave Me \DISEASE" \SAY/s \CELEB "\FICTCHAR is for real".\! -- \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s come up with undeniable proof "\MCELEB is really my father", \SAY/s \CELEB "\FCELEB is really my mother", \SAY/s \CELEB \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s discover lost city of \PLACE \CELEB \KILL/s \NUMBER \PERSON/s in drunken rampage \PERSON, stoned on \DRUG, \KILL/s \NUMBER \PERSON/s \CELEB Falls \NUMBER thousand feet out of \AIRCRAFT ... and survives "\ET/s From \PLANET Landed In My Garden And \EAT/d \NUMBER \FRUIT/s" \SAY/s \CELEB \FCELEB Gives birth to \NUMBER \BABY/s\INVOLVED \RELIGION Monks report \UFFO Sighting in \PLACE\! "They Came From \PLANET!"\PROOF Real Life Ghost Busters Exorcise \GHOST from \CELEB/ 's home in \PLACE \BABY \KILL/d by Pet \KILLER\PHOTO Amazing \MADNESS \KILLERX from \PLACE "I Chopped My \RELATIVE To Death With \WEAPON/a" -- \PERSON \PERSON Goes Berserk And \KILL/s \NUMBER \PERSON/s With \WEAPON \FCELEB Tells Of Night Of Terror With \MCELEB. "He Threatened Me With \WEAPON/a" \MCELEB Tells Of Night Of Terror With \FCELEB. "She Threatened Me With \WEAPON/a" \FRUIT/s Have \SPIRITUAL Powers, \SAY \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s\PROOF \PERSON Sees Face Of \FICTCHAR In \FOOD/a "Elvis Died From Eating \FRUIT/s", \SAY/s \CELEB\PROOF \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s Produce \SPIRITUAL \KILLER Girl \PERSON \KILL/s \NUMBER \PERSON/s With \WEAPON,\!Then Is Acquitted By Jury \NUMBER Years For \MADNESS \WEAPON Murderer. "I Would Do It Again" Says \CELEB \PERSON Struck By Lightning -- \NUMBER Times Jury Acquit Notorious \WEAPON Murderer From \PLACE \MCELEB and \FCELEB Seen Together in \PLACE. "Is It Love?" \PERSON/ 's Bizarre Claim: "\NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s Planted Mind Control Device In My Head" "Does \FICTCHAR Exist?" \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s Offer New Evidence Travelling To \PLACE In A Stolen \AIRCRAFT -- \CELEB Tells All\PHOTO "\FICTCHAR \EAT/d My \BABY", \SAY/s \PERSON "\MCELEB is the Father Of My \BABY", \SAY/s \MADNESS \PERSON "\FCELEB is the Mother Of My \BABY", \SAY/s \MCELEB\INVOLVED \FCELEB Files Paternity Suit Against \FCELEB -- Claiming Sex Change "I Am The Reincarnation of \FDEAD", \SAY/s \FCELEB "I Am The Reincarnation of \MDEAD", \SAY/s \MCELEB \SCIENTIST/s Discover \FCELEB Was Married to \MDEAD in Previous Life "I spoke to \DCELEB through \FRUIT/a" \SAY/s \PERSON "I Saw \DCELEB Alive and Well in \PLACE" \SAY/s \PERSON \NATIONALITY \SCIENTIST/s resurrect \DCELEB\PROOF In \MADNESS Rage, \PERSON \KILL/s \NUMBER, Self "\CELEB Is Addicted to \DRUG"\PROOF %%