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-
- Humour in the Press
- -------------------
-
- Behind every newspaper headline lurks a newspaper deadline.
-
- The men and women who compose the headlines work within pressing restrictions
- of time and space. Amongst other restrictions they have to be written in a
- fraction of the time thought hunanly possible. Some of the best headlines are
- those in which an inadvertent pun lifts the message from the blandly literal
- to the sublimely absurd, headlines such as:-
-
- GRANDMOTHER OF EIGHT MAKES HOLE IN ONE
-
- DEAF MUTE GETS NEW HEARING IN MURDER TRIAL
-
- DEFENDANTS SPEECH ENDS IN LONG SENTENCE
-
- ASBESTOS SUIT PRESSED
-
- DOCTOR TESTIFIES IN HORSE SUIT
-
- COMPLAINTS ABOUT FA REFEREES GROWING UGLY
-
- POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
-
- HOUSE PASSES GAS TAX ONTO LORDS
-
- POLICE DISCOVER CRACK IN LIVERPOOL
-
- MEN RECOMMEND MORE CLUBS FOR WIVES
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- TWO MURDERERS ESCAPE NOOSE:JURY HUNG
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- CHINESE APEMAN DATED
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- MAN HELD OVER NEW FOREST FIRE
-
- MILK DRINKERS ARE TURNING TO POWDER
-
- HALF-MILLION ITALIAN WOMEN SEEN ON PILL
-
- SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED
-
- 10 NIGERIAN REVOLTING OFFICERS EXECUTED
-
- QUARTER OF A MILLION CHINESE LIVE ON WATER
-
- DRUNK GETS 9 MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE
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- JUDGE ACTS TO REOPEN THEATER
-
- SURVIVOR OF SIAMESE TWINS JOINS PARENTS
-
- CARRIBEAN ISLANDS DRIFT TO LEFT
-
- THUGS EAT THEN ROB PROPRIETOR
-
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- Zimbabwe (Rhodesia) guerrilla leaders demanded on Monday at the Commonwealth
- conference, that a peacekeeping force of several thousand men - one with teeth,
- be sent to enforce a cease-fire in the war against their forces.
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- In a Tokyo hotel; YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID
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- In the lobby of a Moscow hotel opposite a Russian Orthodox monastery: You
- are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers
- Artists and authors are buried daily except Thurdays.
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- On the room door at the same hotel: If this is your first visit to the USSR
- you are welcome to it.
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-
- *** EOF
-