ARM Club 1/ARM_CLUB_CD.iso/contents/sillies/silly8/N/NewElement

Text File | 1994-02-11 | 1.8 KB | 37 lines

            New element discovered by Potters Bar scientists.


The heaviest element known to man was recently discovered by Potters Bar
scientists. The element, tentatively named Administratum, has no protons or
electrons, and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1
neutron, 3 assistant neutronss, 9 vice-neutrons and 257 assistant vice-
neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 270. These particles are held
together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like
particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratum is inert. However, it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes into contact
with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratum caused
one reaction to take over four wweeks to complete when it would normally
have occurred in less than two hours. Administratum has a normal half life
of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganisation in which the vice neut
trons and assistant neutrons change places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass
actually increases after each reorganisation.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratum occurs
naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such
as colleges of technology, universities and government departments.

Scientists point out that Administratum is known to be toxic at any level
of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is
allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to find out how the
concentration of Administratum at Cranborne Road can be reduced to prevent
irreversible damage, but results to date are mixed.

My thanks to G6TRS for bringing this research to my notice.

De G6JNS @ GB7BBS

*** eof