napalm.napnet.hu/2015-02-12.napalm.napnet.hu.tar/napalm.napnet.hu/programok/kommunikacio/mpp700.exe/yourmama.txt

Text File | 2003-10-12 | 21KB | 288 lines

Your momma's so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she is backing up
Your momma's so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
Your momma's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Your momma's so fat people jog around her for exercise
Your momma's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Your momma's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Your mamma's so fat You have to roll over twice to get off her...
Your momma's so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world
Your momma's so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Your momma's so fat when You get on top of her Your ears pop!
Your momma's so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Your momma's so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "Okay!"
Your momma's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!"
Your momma's so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Your momma's so fat she has to iron her pants on the driveway
Your momma's so fat she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Your momma's so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Your momma's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Your momma's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Your momma's so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Your momma's so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "One at a time, please"
Your momma's so fat when she sits on your face you can't hear the stereo.
Your momma's so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Your momma's so fat when she gets on the scale it says "To Be Continued".
Your momma's so fat when she gets on the scale it says "We don't do livestock".
Your momma's so fat she's got her own area code!
Your momma's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!
Your momma's so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Your momma's so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Your momma's so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Your momma's so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Your momma's so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Your momma's so fat her legs are like spoiled milk - White, Chunky, and Stinky when opened!
Your momma's so fat You have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her
Your momma's so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
Your momma's so fat she wakes up in sections!
Your momma's so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Your momma's so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
Your momma's so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
Your momma's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Your momma's so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
Your momma's so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Your momma's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Your momma's so fat her senior pictures had to be aerial views!
Your momma's so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Your momma's so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Your momma's so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Your momma's so fat she sat on the beach and Green peace threw her in!
Your momma's so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
Your momma's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Your momma's so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Your momma's so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Your momma's so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearing tights!
Your momma's so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Your momma's so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Your momma's so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Your momma's so fat when she backs up she beeps.
Your momma's so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Your momma's so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Your momma's so fat she influences the tides.
Your momma's so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Your momma's so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Your momma's so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Your momma's so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Your momma's so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Your momma's so fat she stands in two time zones.
Your momma's so fat You have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Your momma's so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Your momma's so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Your momma's so fat when she wears a Malcolm X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
Your momma's so fat she laid on the beach and green peace tried to push her back in the water
Your momma's so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Your momma's so fat the only pictures You have of her are satellite pictures
Your momma's so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Your momma's so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Your momma's so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Your momma's so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Your momma's so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Your momma's so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Your momma's so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Your momma's so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!
Your momma's so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Your momma's so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
Your momma's so fat she accidentally got a 747 caught in her teeth
Your momma's so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons
Your momma's so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the Fuck Off!!!"
Your momma's so fat she was zoned for commercial development
Your momma's so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94"
Your momma's so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans
Your momma's so fat she has more rolls than a mary jane truck
Your momma's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Your momma's so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Your momma's so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read
Your momma's so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Your momma's so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Your momma's so stupid You have to dig for her IQ!
Your momma's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Your momma's so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! What comes first? E or 3 or W or M ??
Your momma's so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Your momma's so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Your momma's so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Your momma's so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Your momma's so stupid she asked You "What is the number for 911?"
Your momma's so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Your momma's so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Your momma's so stupid she stole free bread.
Your momma's so stupid she took a spoon to the super bowl.
Your momma's so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Your momma's so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Your momma's so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Your momma's so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
Your momma's so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Your momma's so stupid when You stand next to her You hear the ocean!
Your momma's so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Your momma's so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Your momma's so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Your momma's so stupid she bought a video camera to record cable tv shows at home.
Your momma's so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Your momma's so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Your momma's so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Your momma's so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Your momma's so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.
Your momma's so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course
Your momma's so stupid she couldn't read an audio book
Your momma's so stupid it took her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.
Your momma's so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler"
Your momma's so stupid it took her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus
Your momma's so stupid it took her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
Your momma's so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper
Your momma's so stupid She went to Disney world and saw a sign that said "Disney world Left" so she went home.
Your momma's so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "Guess" so she said Levi's
Your momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Your momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Your momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Your momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Your momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Your momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Your momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Your momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
Your momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Your momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Your momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Your momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Your momma's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Your momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.
Your momma's so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours... for a quote!
Your momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Your momma's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Your momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Your momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Your momma's so ugly The NHL banned her for life
Your momma's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Your momma's so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Your momma's so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Your momma's so ugly that Your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Your momma's so ugly Your dad's breath smells like shit because he would rather kiss her ass.
Your momma's so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow
Your momma's so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
Your momma's so old she has Jesus' beeper number!
Your momma's so old her social security number is 1!
Your momma's so old that when God said let there be light, she hit the switch'
Your momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Your momma's so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
Your momma's so old she's in Jesus' yearbook!
Your momma's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Your momma's so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Your momma's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Your momma's so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Your momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Your momma's so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
Your momma's so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
Your momma's so old she was Jesus' Wet Nurse
Your momma's so old she's blind from the big bang
Your momma's so old even God calls her mother!
Your momma's so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Your momma's so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Your momma's so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Your momma's so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
Your momma's so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Your momma's so poor Your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Your momma's so poor her face is on the front of a food stamps.
Your momma's so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Your momma's so poor she waves around a Popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Your momma's so poor burglars break in her house and leave money
Your momma's so short You can see her feet on her drivers license!
Your momma's so short she can play handball on the curb.
Your momma's so short she models for trophies.
Your momma's so short she is the original Q-tip
Your momma's so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
Your momma's so nasty She ices down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
Your momma's so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
Your momma's so nasty she brings crabs to the beach
Your momma's so nasty she made right guard turn left.
Your momma's so nasty the fishery pays her to leave
Your momma's so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Your momma's so nasty that her shit is glad to escape.
Your momma's so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Your momma's so nasty she was quarantined since before she was born
Your momma's so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea
Your momma's so nasty skunks run from her
Your momma's like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay
Your momma's like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!
Your momma's like the Pillsbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!
Your momma's like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!
Your momma's like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!
Your momma's like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!
Your momma's like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!
Your momma's like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!
Your momma's like a shotgun: one cock and she blows!
Your momma's like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!
Your momma's like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing
Your momma's like a refrigerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!
Your momma's like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
Your momma's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
Your momma's like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
Your momma's like a Toyota: "Oh What A Feelin'!"
Your momma's like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
Your momma's like Chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!
Your momma's like a vacuum cleaner.....a real good suck.
Your momma's like castle bury stew: servings are family size
Your momma's so hairy You almost died of rug burn at birth!
Your momma's so hairy she looks like shes got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Your momma's so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!
Your momma's so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro!
Your momma's so hairy she shaves with a weed whacker
Your momma's so slutty she could suck-start a Harley!
Your momma's so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
Your momma's so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
Your momma's so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
Your momma's so slutty that I could've been Your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
Your momma's so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
Your momma's so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
Your momma's so slutty she is known as Homecoming Disease
Your momma's so slutty she has Trojan written on her gum line.
Your momma's so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!
Your momma's so greasy she sweats Crisco!
Your momma's so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her
Your momma's teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!
Your momma's so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where Your daddy has two jobs.
Your momma's so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio
Your momma's so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
Your momma's so tall she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
Your momma's so flat she's jealous of the wall!
Your momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can seen people waving.
Your momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
Your momma has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
Your momma's has an ass is soo big she has to shit in a dumpster
Your momma's got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tongue is in jail.
Your momma's house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
Your momma's house so small You have to go outside to change Your mind.
Your momma's house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!
Your momma's house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
Your momma's head so big she has to step into her shirts.
Your momma's head so big it shows up on radar.
Your momma wears knee-pads and yells "Curb Service!"
Your momma's feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!
Your momma aint so bad...she would give You the hair off of her back!
Your momma's lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.
Your momma's teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
Your momma's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Your momma's hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.
Your momma's twice the man You are.
Your momma's missing a finger and can't count past 9.
Your momma's breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.
Your mama's so fat, her picture weighs ten pounds
Your mama's so ugly, that when she went to a haunted house, she came out with a job application
Your mama's so ugly, she scares people even with the lights out
Your mama's so fat, she bumps into people even when she's sitting down
Your mama's so fat, that after sex, she rolls over and smokes a ham
Your Mama's so stupid she thinks its the ice cubes that keep the fridge cold
Your mama's so fat, she's got more nooks and crannies than an English Muffin
Your mama's so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up
Your mama's so stupid, she had your brother thrown in rehab, cause he was Hooked on Phonics
Your mama's breath is so foul, she uses Glade as a breath freshener
Your mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm. One for each time zone
Your mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu
Your mama's so fat, after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
Your mama's so fat, she don't take pictures, she takes posters
Your house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, & a cockroach stole my wallet
Your mama's so stupid, she called information to get the number to 911
Your mama's so stupid, she asked her boss how to spell UPS
Your momma is so fat, she told me her weight and I thought it was your phone number!
Your momma is so fat, she stood alone on the street and a cop yelled break it up!
Your momma is like McDonald's over 20 billion served!
Your momma's so fat she stepped on a scale and it said, "Please step out of the car".
Your momma's so fat, that when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider!
Your momma's so fat, she sells shade.
Your momma's so stupid, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican Phone Company!