$Un chasseur sachant chasser chasse sans son chien.
(A hunter who knows how to hunt hunts without his dog.)
$Ton the` t`a-t`il ote` ton toux?
(Did the tea cure your cough?)
$Dinon dina, dit on, du dos dodu d`un dodu dindon.
(Dindon dined, said he, on the fat back of a fat turkey.)
$Qui trop embrasse mal entreint. (Grab much, gain little.)
$Quien mucho abarca poco aprieta. (Grab much, gain little.)
$Un tien vaut miex que deux tu l`auras.
(A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.)
$First Law of Advice:
The correct advice is to give the advice that is desired.
$Third Law of Advice:
Simple advice is the best advice.
$If you put your supper dish to your ear you can hear the sounds of a restaurant. -- Snoopy
$There is nothing worse than being peerless in a peer-review system.
$Alia jacta est. (The die is cast.)
--Julius Caesar after crossing the Rubicon
$If little else, the brain is an educational toy. -- Tom Robbins
$Oh, what tangled webs we weave
When we first practice to deceive. -- Sir Walter Scott
$When in darkness or in doubt,
Run in circles, scream and shout.
$The Fourth Law of Computing: On a slow day, you can wait forever.
$Sweer`s Impossibility Theorem:
Nothing can be both completely general
and internally consistent at the same time.
$Swap read error, you lose your core image.
$Murphy`s First Law:
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
$Murphy`s Second Law:
Everything takes longer than you think.
$Murphy`s Third Law:
Anything that can go wrong will go wron, and at the worst possible time.
$Murphy`s Fourth Law:
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
$Murphy`s Fifth Law:
If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
$Murphy`s Seventh Law:
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
$Murphy`s Eighth Law:
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
$Chisolm`s Third Law, Corollary 1:
If you explain so clearly that no one can misunderstand, somebody will.
$Chisolm`s Third Law, Corollary 2:
If you do something which you are sure will meet with everyone`s approval, somebody won`t like it.
$Crane`s Law:
There ain`t no such thing as a free lunch.
$Law of Communications:
The result of improved and enlarged communications is a vastly increased area of misunderstanding.
$Lord Falkland`s Rule:
When it is not necessary to make a decision,
it is necessary not to make a decision.
$Jones` Motto:
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
$Gumperson`s Law:
The probability of anything happening is inversely
proportional to its desirability.
$The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional
to its attendance.
$The Peter Principle:
In every hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence; every post tends to be filled by an employee incompetent to execute its duties.
$Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
$Parkinson`s First Law:
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
$Parkinson`s Second Law:
Expenditures rise to meet income.
$Shanahan`s Law:
The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people present.
$Zymurgy,s Seventh Exception to Murphy`s Laws:
When it rains it pours.
$Internal consistency is more highly valued than efficiency.
$Jenkinson`s Law:
It won`t work.
$The DREA Law:
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions, the experimental apparatus will do exactly as it pleases.
$Skip`s Lament:
Given any problem containing N equations,
There will be n+1 unknowns.
$Finagle`s First Law:
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
$Finagle`s Fourth Law:
Once a job is messed up,
anything done to improve it makes it worse.
$Always draw your curves then plot the readings.
$Experiments should be reproducable,
- they should all fail in the same way.
$Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
$When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
$Any given program, once running, is obsolete.
$Any given program will expand to fill all available resources.
$The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
$Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
$It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
$Small change can often be found under seat cushions.
$Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
$Never try to outstubborn a cat.
$Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
$Cheops` Law:
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
$Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected; carefully planned projects only twice as long.
$Wynne`s Law:
Negative slack tends to increase.
$Boren`s Law:
When in doubt, mumble.
$Q`s Law:
No matter what stage of completion one reaches in a project, the cost of the remainder of the project remains constant.
$EUREKA!
$Conversation enriches the understanding,
but solitude is the soul of genius.
$Standing on head makes smile of frown,
but rest of face also upside down.
$You can`t plant me in your penthouse,
I`m going back to my plow.
$It is a poor workman who blames his tools.
$I ain`t broke, but I`m badly bent.
$Jargon is used as a means of succeeding by not simplifying.
$If computers take over (which seems to be their natural tendency), it will serve us right. -- Alistair Cooke.
$The six steps in a project:
1) Unbounded enthusiasm
2) Total disillusionment
3) PANIC!!
4) Frantic search for the guilty
5) Punishment of the innocent
6) Promotion of the uninvolved.
$Lost interest? It`s so bad I`ve lost apathy.
$The greatest programming project of all took six days; on the seventh day the programmer rested. We`ve been trying to debug the blinking thing ever since.
$Moral: design before you implement.
$Two wrongs do not make a right: it usually takes three or more.
$A gift of flowers will soon be made to you.
$A guy has to get fresh once in a while so the girl doesn`t lose her confidence.
$A king`s castle is his home.
$A lie in time saves nine.
$A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.
$A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
$A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle.
$A plucked goose doesn`t lay golden eggs.
$A present, over which you will shed tears of joy.
$A stitch in time saves nine.
$A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
$A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.
$A wise man can see more from a the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.
$Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.
$All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.
$Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
$An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
$Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.
$Be self-reliant and your success is assured.
$Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
$Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
$Beauty seldom recommends one woman to another.
$Bedfellows make strange politicians.
$Behind every argument is someone`s ignorance.
$Better to use medicines at the outset than at the last moment.
$Between two evils, I always pick the
one I never tried before. -- Mae West.
$Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. - Thoreau
$Beware of friends who are false and deceitful.
$By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
$By following the good, you learn to be good.
$Cheap things are of no value, valuable things are not cheap.
$Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.
$Courage is your greatest present need.
$Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
$Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won`t see his face.
$Do not clog intellect`s sluices with knowledge of questionable uses.
$Domestic happiness and faithful friends.
$Don`t be overly suspicious where it`s not warranted.
$Don`t get yourself involved with persons or situations that can`t bear inspection.
$Don`t worry if you`re a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
$Draw your salary before spending it.
$Economy makes men independent.
$Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
$Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
$Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
$Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
$Every purchase has its price.
$Everyone complains of his memory, no one of his judgment.
$Everything bows to success, even grammar.
$Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.
$Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.
$Faith goes out through the window when beauty comes in at the door.
$Far duller than a serpent`s tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
$For people who like that kind of book, that is the kind of book they will like.
$Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgment.
$From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance.
$Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
$God gives us relatives; thank God we can chose our friends.
$Good health will be yours for a long time.
$Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor.
$Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion.
$He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
$He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another`s mishap.
$He thinks he could easily win your heart.
$He thinks that he could easily win your heart.
$He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
$He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with two eyes.
$He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
$He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
$He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
$He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on cruise.
$He who is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
$He who laughs last probably doesn`t understand the joke.
$Here comes the orator, with his flood of words and his drop of reason.
$His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
$His life was formal; his actions seemed ruled with a ruler.
$History books which contain no lies are extremely dull.
$How many "coming men" has one known! Where on earth do they all go to?
$How sharper than a hound`s tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
$How you look depends on where you go.
$I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
$I don`t remember ever having had the itch, and yet scratching is one of nature`s sweet pleasures, and so handy.
$I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.
$I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.
$I must have slipped a disk - my pack hurts.
$I never fail to convice an audience that the best thing they could do was to go away.
$I`ve given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.
$Idleness is the holiday of fools.
$If at first you don`t succeed, you`re doing about average.
$If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
$If some people didn`t tell you, you`d never know they`d been away on vacation.
$If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it.
$Quit work and play for once.
$If you continually give you will continually have.
$If you make a mistake you right it immediately to the best of your ability.
$If you make people think they`re thinking, they`ll love you; but if you really make them think they`ll hate you.
$If you suspect a man, don`t employ him.
$If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
$If you wish, You will have an opportunity.
$If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.
$It is Fortune, not wisdom that rules man`s life.
$It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
$It is better to wear out than to rust out.
$It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
$It is far better to be deceived than to be undeceived by those we love.
$It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.
$It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
$It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
$It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
$It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
$It`s a poor workman who blames his tools.
$It`s clever, but is it art?
$It`s not reality that`s important, but how you perceive things.
$It`s sweet to be remembered, but it`s often cheaper to be forgotten.
$Lawrence Radiation Laboratory keeps all its data in an old gray trunk.
$Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
$Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
$Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
$Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
$Let`s just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other again.
$Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, then you find there is nothing in it.
$Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
$Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
$Lonely is a man without love.
$Lonely men seek companionship. Lonely women sit at home and wait. They never meet.
$Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
$Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you.
$Love is sentimental measles.
$Love the sea? I dote upon it - from the beach.
$Make a wish, it might come true.
$Make new friends but keep the old ones;
one is silver and the other`s gold.
$Man and wife make one fool.
$Man`s horizons are bounded by his vision.
$Many a family tree needs trimming.
$Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long.
$Many pages make a thick book, except for pocket bibles which are on very very thin paper.
$Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. -- VOLTAIRE
$Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.
$Matrimony is the root of all evil.
$Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
$Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca.
$Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
$Misster, do you vant to buy a duck.
$Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
$Money cannot buy love, nor even friendship.
$Money may buy friendship but money cannot buy love.
$Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.
$My cup hath runneth`d over with love.
$My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there.
$Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.
$Never drink from your finger bowl - it contains only water.
$Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him.
$Nice guys get sick.
$No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature.
$No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
$Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
$Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
$Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
$Often statistics are used as a drunken man uses lampposts for support rather than illumination.
$Old men are fond of giving good advice to console themselves for their inability to give bad examples.
$One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
$One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
$Only someone with nothing to be sorry for smiles back at the rear of an elephant.
$Ours is a world where people don`t know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.
$People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.
$People who take cat naps don`t usually sleep in a cat`s cradle.
$People will buy anything that`s one to a customer.
$Preserve the old, but know the new.
$Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
$Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
$Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
$Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.
$Put your trust in those who are worthy.
$Raising pet electric eels is gaining a lot of current popularity.
$Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
$Reputation: what others are not thinking about you.
$Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
$Satire is what closes in New Haven.
$Share your happiness with others today.
$She`s learned to say things with her eyes that others waste time putting into words.
$Show your affection, which will probably meet with pleasant response.
$Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
$Some men are discovered; others are found out.
$Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.
$Someone is speaking well of you.
$Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
$Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.
$Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
$Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
$Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable.
$Swap read error. You lose your mind.
$THE PROGRAMMERS` CHEER? -
SHIFT TO THE LEFT,
SHIFT TO THE RIGHT!
POP UP, PUSH DOWN,
BYTE, BYTE, BYTE!
$Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
$That must be wonderful! I dont understand it at all.
$The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
$The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
$The best prophet of the future is the past.
$The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
$The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
$The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
$The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn`t been asleep.
$The hardest thing is to disguise your feelings when you put a lot of relatives on the train for home.
$The heart is wiser than the intellect.
$The light of a hundred stars does not equal the light of the moon.
$The luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others.
$The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn`t.
$The only rose without thorns is friendship.
$The person you rejected yesterday could make you happy, if you say yes.
$The plural of spouse is spice.
$The rich get rich, and the poor get poorer. The haves get more, the have-nots die.
$The star of riches is shining upon you.
$The time is right to make new friends.
$The universe is laughing behind your back.
$The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.
$The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
$There are few people more often in the wrong than those who cannot endure to be thought so.
$There are many people today who literally do not have a close personal friend.
$There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
$There are more ways of killing a cat than choking her with cream.
$There are three things I have always loved and never understood: art, music, and women.
$There is always someone worse off than yourself.
$There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
$There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.
$There`s at least one fool in every married couple.
$There`s so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me.
$Think twice before speaking. But don`t say "think think click click".
$This file will self-destruct in five minutes.
$Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.
$To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the competent.
$To do is to be - Nietzsche
To be is to do - Sartre
Do be do be do - Sinatra
$Nietzsche is pietzsche
$To give happines is to deserve happiness.
$To keep your friends treat them kindly; to kill them, treat them often.
$To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
$To refuse praise is to seek praise twice.
$To save a single life is better than to build a seven story pagoda.
$True happiness will be found only in true love.
$Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
$Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
$We prefer to speak evil of ourselves than not speak of ourselves at all.
$We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears.
$We read to say that we have read.
$What makes us so bitter against people who outwit us is that they think themselves cleverer than we are.
$What no spouse of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he's staring out the window.
$What orators lack in depth they make up in length.
$What passes for woman`s intuition is often nothing more than man`s transparency.
$What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five-cent bagel.
$When God endowed human beings with brains, He did not intend to guarantee them.
$When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
$When you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself Americanized.
$When you go out to buy, don`t show your silver.
$Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
$Why did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless it was to avoid responsibility?
$With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
$Without fools there would be no wisdom.
$Words are the voice of the heart.
$Words must be weighed, not counted.
$Worth seeing? Yes, but not worth going to see.
$You are a bundle of energy always on the go.
$You are always busy.
$You are capable of planning your future.
$You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
$You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
$You are fairminded, just and loving.
$You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.
$You are going to have a new love affair.
$You are heading for a land of sunshine.
$You are magnetic in your bearing.
$You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward.
$You are secretive in your dealings but never to the extent of trickery .
$You are standing on my toes.
$You are tricky, but never to the point of dishonesty.
$You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with earth is concerned.
$You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
$You cannot propel youself forward by patting yourself on the back.
$You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
$You enjoy the company of other people.
$You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
$You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.
$You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex.
$You have a strong desire for a home.
$You have a truly strong individuality.
$You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.
$You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
$You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
$You have an unusual equipment for success. Be sure to use it properly .
$You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationship.
$You have been selected for a secret mission.
$You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.
$You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.
$You have many friends and very few enemies.
$You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
$You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
$You love peace.
$You love your home and want it to be beautiful.
$You need not worry about your future.
$You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
$You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.
$You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own.
$You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.
$You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
$You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed.
$You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.
$You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
$You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant.
$You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone.
$You will be awarded some great honor.
$You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
$You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
$You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause.
$You will be married within a year.
$You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.
$You will be singled out for promotion in your work.
$You will be successful in love.
$You will be surprised by a loud noise.
$You will be surrounded by luxury.
$You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.
$You will engage in a profitable business activity.
$You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.
$You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
$You will have long and healthy life.
$You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.
$You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.
$You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally.
$You will never know hunger.
$You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.
$You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.
$You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.
$You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.
$You will step on the soil of many countries.
$You will triumph over your enemy.
$You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.
$Your aims are high, and you are capable of much.
$Your business will assume vast proportions.
$Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.
$Your domestic life may be harmonious.
$Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.
$Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout.
$Your love life will be happy and harmonious.
$Your lover will never wish to leave you.
$Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.
$Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon.
$Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments.
$Your nature demands love and your happiness depends on it.
$Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.
$Your present plans will be successful.
$Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.
$Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinment.
$Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.
$Your temporary financial embarassment will be relieved in a surprising manner.
$Youth had been a habit of hers so long that she could not part with it.
$As expected, the victorious candidate in a particularly dirty recent political campaign, won by a mudslide.
$Basic research is what I am doing when - I don`t know what I am doing.
$Success isn`t how far you got, but the distance you travelled from where you started.
$The biggest mistake that you can make is to believe that you are working for somebody else.
$Monday is a hard way to spend one-seventh of your life.
$Pros are people who do jobs well
even when they don`t feel like it.
$Next to surviving an earthquake,
nothing is quite so satisfying as
as receiving a income tax refund.
$An authority is somebody who can tell you more about something than you really care to know.
$Running a business is about 95% people and 5% economics.
$Patience is something that you admire greatly in the driver behind you but not in the one ahead of you.
$When your work speaks for itself, don`t interrupt.
$It`s always easy to see both sides of an issue we are not particularly concerned about.
$Why can`t lifes`s big problems come when we are twenty and know everything?
$When you try to make an impression, the chances are that that is the impression you will make.
$When you save for a long time to buy something, then you find that you can`t afford it - that`s inflation.
$You are the only person ever to get this message.
