House of Games 2 (Hi-Tech Products)

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Text File | 1992-02-14 | 26KB | 690 lines

* UNREGISTERED COPY * $29.00 JOKETALK.DOC ╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ║ ASP MEMBER ║ ║ * JOKE TALK * ║ ║ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ║ ║ ║ ║ VERSION 1.3 C.S.S. Inc. ║ ║ COPYRIGHT 3005 GLENMORE AVE. ║ ║ 1991, 1992 BALTIMORE, MD 21214 ║ ║ CREATIVE SOFTWARE SOUNDS Inc. (410) 665-0193 ║ ║ ║ ╠═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╣ ║ Call TOLL FREE 1-800-847-0309 for CREDIT CARD orders. ║ ╠═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╣ ║ ║ ║ ║ ║ Table of Contents ║ ║ ----------------- PAGE ║ ║ ~~~~ ║ ║ I. Introduction...................................... 1 ║ ║ ║ ║ II. Files on this Disk................................ 2 ║ ║ ║ ║ III. How to INSTALL/RUN JOKE TALK...................... 5 ║ ║ ║ ║ IV. Errors/Problems................................... 6 ║ ║ ║ ║ V. How to use PC-TALK................................ 7 ║ ║ ║ ║ VI. Other Speech Products............................. 8 ║ ║ ║ ║ VII. Shareware Distribution............................ 12 ║ ║ ║ ║ VIII. Ordering Information.............................. 14 ║ ║ ║ ║ ║ ╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ I. Introduction --------------- JOKE TALK is a new type of COMEDY program with real human speech and sound effects that work thru your pc speaker. This package is filled with GAGS, several jokes, THE NAME THAT TUNE GAME, THE CANDID CAMERA SHOW, VOICE IMPERSONATIONS, ADULT jokes and other goodies. Some of the nifty funnies are : amateur night, phone rings, greetings, insults, one-liners and much more. This product will give you hours of entertainment and it has the capability to playback jokes on other computers. This will allow you to play practical jokes on your family, friends and co-workers. PC-TALK is also included with this package. PC-TALK will allow you to create your own custom gags and jokes and add them to your menus or programs. To register, send $29.00 to C.S.S. Inc. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JOKE TALK Page 2 II. Files on this Disks ----------------------- Below is a list of the files that should be on this distribution disk: RUNME.BAT Run this program the first time you use this package. JOKETALK.EXE This is the main COMEDY program. PC-TALK.EXE Use this to play back any of the jokes, songs and sound effects files in this package. PRINTDOC.BAT This will print all of the document files. JOKETALK.DOC This document file. To print this document type: "print JOKETALK.doc" README.DOC A introduction document to JOKE TALK. ORDER.FRM Order form for THE JOKE TALK PROGRAM. INSTALLC.BAT Use this to install JOKE TALK on your C drive INSTALLD.BAT Use this to install JOKE TALK on your D drive MAKE-BAT.BAT This is a small editor that you can use to create your own custom jokes files. *. These are the speech output file. They do not have a file extension. There are 59 speech output files. (refer to page 3 for list) JOKE TALK Page 3 Below are the SPEECH OUTPUT files on this disk. TYPE IN TO SAY THESE WORDS EXAMPLE: TO SAY "HELLO" ------- ------------------ TYPE IN: PC-TALK HELLO ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALMOST ALMOST BELCH HUMAN BELCH BIRD SOUND EFFECTS OF BIRD CHIRPING BONG SOUND EFFECTS OF BONG SOUND BUBBLE1 WHY DID THE MAN GET FIRED FROM BUBBLE GUM FACTORY BUBBLE2 HE BIT OFF MORE THEN HE COULD CHEW BYE BYE CAGNEY JAMES CAGNEY IMPERSONATION CIRCUS1 WHY DID THE ELEPHANT QUIT THE CIRCUS CIRCUS2 HE GOT TIRED OF WORKING FOR PEANUTS COMPUTER THEN JUST INVENTED A COMPUTER SO HUMAN COUGH HUMAN COUGH CPA1 MY EX HUSBAND IS A CPA CPA2 CONSTANT PAIN IN THE DANGERFI RODNEY DANGERFIELD IMPERSONATION DISK JUST PUT IT IN MY DISK DRIVE PLEASE DOG SOUND EFFECTS OF DOG BARKING EXCELLEN EXCELLENT FART HUMAN FART SOUND GETME PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE GOODLOOK HEY THERE GOOD LOOKING HBDSONG HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG HELLO HELLO HELPME HELP ME I'M STUCK IN HERE HEYYOU HEY YOU COME ON OVER HERE HORSE SOUND EFFECT OF HORSE INTRO INTRODUCTION TO JOKE TALK JACK WOLFMAN JACK IMPERSONATION JINGLE THE JINGLEBELL SONG JOAN JOAN RIVERS IMPERSONATION JOYWORLD THE JOY TO THE WORLD SONG LAUND1 WHY DID THE MAN GET FIRED FROM THE LAUNDRY MAT LAUND2 HE WAS ALL WASHED UP OVERHERE COME ON OVER HERE PAUSE THIS WILL PAUSE THE SPEECH OUTPUT FOR 0.5 SECONDS PHONERIN SOUND EFFECT OF TELEPHONE RINGING PILL1 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OF A PILL AND A HILL JOKE TALK Page 4 PILL2 ONE IS HARD TO GET UP AND ONE IS HARD TO GET DOWN PINK1 DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MAN WHO LOST HIS JOB SELLING LINGERIE PINK2 HE GOT THE PINK SLIP REGISTER PLEASE REGISTER YOUR SHAREWARE ROOSTER SOUND EFFECT OF ROOSTER ROYAL1 MY EX HUSBAND TOOK ME OUT FOR A ROYAL EVENING ROYAL2 DINNER AT BURGER KING DESERT AT DAIRY QUEEN SAINTS O WHEN THE SAINTS COME MARCHING IN SONG SHEEP SOUND EFFECTS OF SHEEP SNEEZE HUMAN SNEEZE SORRY SORRY SPARE CAN YOU SPARE A FEW DOLLARS FOR A STARVING COMPUTER STELLERS PETER STELLERS IMPERSONATION THANKYOU THANK YOU TRYAGAIN TRY AGAIN TRYPRESS TRY PRESSING A KEY VACATION SORRY I'M ON VACATION TODAY VENUS THE VENUS SONG WAYTOGO WAY TO GO WHISTLE HUMAN WHISTLE YESTERDA THE YESTERDAY SONG WHEN YOU REGISTER, WE WILL SEND YOU THE COMPLETE JOKE TALK LIBRARY WITH MORE JOKE, SONGS AND SOUND EFFECTS. THE REGISTERED VERSION ALSO INCLUDES THE ADULT JOKE. *** PLEASE REGISTER YOUR SHAREWARE *** It's only $29.00 JOKE TALK Page 5 III. How to INSTALL/RUN JOKE TALK --------------------------------- We recommend that you run this package from your HARD DRIVE. ----------------------------------------------------------- SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS: HARD DRIVE 256K of memory, any graphic monitor (EGA/VGA recommended). TO INSTALL JOKE TALK ON YOUR C DRIVE, TYPE IN: INSTALLC or TO INSTALL JOKE TALK ON YOUR D DRIVE, TYPE IN: INSTALLD or Insert disk # 1 into your A drive, then make a subdirector on your hard drive, by typing in: C: MD \JOKETALK Then log onto the JOKETALK subdirector, by typing in: CD \JOKETALK Then copy all the files on disk # 1 to the joketalk subdirector on your hard drive, by typing in: COPY A:*.* Insert disk # 2 into the A drive and type in: COPY A:*.* Then to start the program, type in : RUNME JOKE TALK Page 6 IV. ERRORS/PROBLEMS -------------------- REMOVE ALL TSR PROGRAMS AND HAVE 256K OF FREE MEMORY AVAILABLE BEFORE RUNNING THIS PROGRAM. If the speech output is not loud enough, this is usually caused by a inexpensive PC that has a ceramic speaker built on to the mother board or the speaker is placed in a bad location in your system unit. Your local Radio Shack store has a small inexpensive amplifier that can increase the volume and clarity of the speech output. If the sound output is distorted or muffled or slow, this usually reflects that the speaker is placed in a bad location in your system, or a TSR (Terminate and Stay Resident) program is running. Remove all TSR programs before running JOKE TALK. If you receive a BGI graphics error, this usually reflects that a graphics card was not detected in your system. This product supports CGA, EGA,VGA, HERC, MDA and SVGA graphic systems. Try using your graphics setup program to select one of the above graphic systems. If you have a problem with the keyboard this maybe caused by not having enough memory in your system (512K needed) or the file size in your config.sys file is to small. Try increasing your file size. If you have any problems other then the ones listed above, please call us or send us a letter, with the error information. This will enable us to correct the error(s). THANKS........ JOKE TALK Page 7 V. How to use PC-TALK --------------------- The speech commands listed below can be executed from dos (C>) or added to your batch files (autoexec.bat). FIRST, log onto the JOKE TALK subdirector, by typing in: CD\ JOKETALK Then to say a single word, type in: PC-TALK HELLO Will say: HELLO To say multiple words, type in: PC-TALK WHISTLE GOODLOOK Will say: WHISTLE (SOUND EFFECT) HEY THERE GOOD LOOKING or PC-TALK VENUS Will say: THE VENUS SONG or PC-TALK HELLO PAUSE GETME Will say: HELLO (.5 SEC. PAUSE) PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE......... HOW TO ADD SPEECH TO YOUR PROGRAM --------------------------------- After you have chosen which words you would like to add to your program, copy PC-TALK.EXE and the speech library files you have chosen to your floppy disk or program subdirectory. Make a batch file with the MAKE-BAT program. Refer to the example BATCH files on this disk: For more information on BATCH files refer to your DOS manual. THERE ARE ALL SORTS OF COMBINATIONS THAT CAN BE USED TO COMBINE THESE WORD, PHRASES AND SOUND EFFECTS. (BE CREATIVE). JOKE TALK Page 8 VI. Other Speech Products ------------------------- When you register your software we will send you a updated list of other products for multimedia, business, educational and personal use. MULTIMEDIA 1 ------------ MULTIMEDIA 1 will allow you to create your own custom presentations, demo's, tutorials, courseware, reports and much more. With this package you can combine real human speech, music and sound effects with high resolution images (up to SVGA). Use this package to create your own custom talking slide show. This package includes: * OVER 1 MEG. of speech, music and sound effects. * display GIF, PCX, PIC, TIFF and TARGA files. * Supports CGA, EGA, VGA and SVGA (upto 1024 x 768) * MOTION and SPECIAL EFFECTS. * INTEGRATED DEVELOPMENT EDITOR with: * MULTIPLE OVERLAPPING WINDOWS * PULL DOWN MENU * FULL MOUSE SUPPORT * COPY and PASTE features * IMAGE PROCESSING FUNCTIONS * Screen CAPTURE capability * Optional SOUND BLASTER support * NO ROYALTIES As an added service, we can provide you with custom speech for your application and we can digitize (capture) your video recording, photos and any art work that you create. Now you can incorporate sound, graphics and video images into one package. All this for only $59.00 ~~~~~~ JOKE TALK Page 9 ALPHABET and WORDS ------------------ ABC-TALK is a NEW EDUCATIONAL PROGRAM with a real human voice that teaches children how to talk, learn the alphabet, read, spell and work with a computer. ABC-TALK will teach young children to say early words (hi, mama, dada, I love you, drink, please, thank you, up, bye, etc.) and how to interact with a computer. For older children, ABC-TALK will teach them to say and understand the alphabet, how to find letters on the keyboard, how to recognize the letters in words and how to spell words. Also included is the ABC SONG and EASY DRAW for your child's creativity. The voice output will work with any IBM PC compatible and any graphic monitor. This program will give children great encouragement to learn. When a question is answered correctly, ABC-TALK will say positive words (way to go, great, excellent, etc.). The hi-resolution graphics are designed to bring out the childs creativity by using kaleidoscopes and collages (the child will recognize various objects , letters and words hidden in the graphics). (For only $ 25.00) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NUMBERS and COUNTING -------------------- 123-TALK is designed for children 2-8 years old. This program will teach your child how to say numbers, recognize numbers on the keyboard, and remember their phone number. After you child learns basic numbers, 123-TALK will teach your child how to count balloons, addition and subtraction. Also includes in this package is easy draw II and the 123 song. This is one of our best selling packages. (For only $ 25.00) OTHER PRODUCTS WITH TALKING TEACHER under development. ----------------------------------------------------- COLORS and SHAPES - Designed for children 1-7 years old. Cost only $19.50 ADDITION and SUBTRACTION - Designed for children 4-9 years old. Cost only $24.50 MULTIPLICATION and DIVISION - Designed for children 7-11 years old. Cost only $24.50 WORD GAMES GRADE 1-3 - Designed for children 6-9 years old. Cost only $29.50 WORD GAMES GRADE 4-6 - Designed for children 9-12 years old. Cost only $29.50 EARLY SPANISH - Designed for children 4-12 years old. Cost only $29.50 JOKE TALK Page 10 PC-TALK (THE VOICE LIBRARY) --------------------------- The VOICE LIBRARY is a NEW product for business and personal applications. The library consist of words and phrases the can be used in all sorts of possibilities. There is no special hardware need to run the VOICE LIBRARY (works thru the PC speaker). The voice commands can be put in any batch file (*.bat) and added to your programs/menus. This package is very easy to use, you simply need to type PC-TALK at the dos prompt, followed by the words you would like to say example: to say happy birthday, type in: PC-TALK happy birthday Also included in this package is a PCX display program that can be used to display pcx pictures. This will give you a TALKING SLIDE SHOW capability. (This package contains over 1,000,000 bytes of SPEECH, MUSIC and SOUND EFFECTS (3 disk) for only $29.50) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DOS JOKE -------- DOS-JOKE is a new comedy program with real human speech and digital sound effects. Did you ever see the candid camera show where there is a guy hiding in the mail box, talking to people as they walk by - well that is what this program is like. DOS-JOKE will look just like your PC DOS but with a comedy twist. The high quality speech works thru your PC speaker. When a user try's to enter a command, DOS-JOKE will say a nasty or rude comment in response. If no command is entered, DOS-JOKE will wait for a period of time (you select the delay time) and then say comments and sound effects to grab the persons attention or drive them crazy. You can run this package for days !!!!. Use this to play jokes and gags on your family, friends and coworkers. Don't let the other person know what is going on (play along with the joke or hide from the user). try video recording this. (Cost only $ 14.90) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SW-TALK (THE VOICE LIBRARY for programmers) ------------------------------------------- The VOICE LIBRARY is a NEW product for SHAREWARE AUTHORS/PROGRAMMERS. The library consist of over 100 words that can be used to give your programs a more professional touch and help increase your registrations. Excellent voice quality That works thru the PC speaker. The voice commands can be added to any batch file (*.bat) and/or added to your programs (shell command). This package is very easy to use, you simply need to type SW-TALK at the dos prompt, followed by the words you would like to say. example: to say PLEASE REGISTER YOUR SHAREWARE type in: SW-TALK REGISTER Also included in this package is a PCX display program that can be used to display pcx pictures. This will allow you to design a fancy intro. screen for your programs. (Cost only $ 25.00) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JOKE TALK Page 11 SHOW TALK (THE SHOW STOPPER) ---------------------------- Did you ever see the candid camera show where there is a guy hiding in the mail box talking to people as they walk by - well that is what this product is. It is intended to be used to attract people to the computer (your show booth or retail store), IT'S A REAL HEAD TURNER. This program will draw fancy collages and about every 30 seconds it will say catch phrases (in real human speech), to try and catch the persons attention. Some of the phrases are: HELLO - IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE, HEY THERE GOOD LOOKING (FEMALE VOICE), HEY YOU OVER THERE, COME ON OVER HERE, PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE, TRY PRESSING A KEY and many more. When the person presses a keyboard key, SHOW TALK will say a joke or sing a song or play name that tune. This is a great CUSTOMER CATCHER for your next show. You can also use this in a retail store or to play jokes on your friends. (Cost only $ 15.00) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GOTCHA !! --------- GOTCHA is a NEW ARCADE ACTION/STRATEGY GRAPHIC GAME. This game is CHALLENGING, very ADDICTIVE and lots of FUN. GOTCHA has high speed Nintendo style graphics, arcade sound effects and voice output, multiple skill levels and VGA graphic support. The object of the game is to move your sphere on the playing grid in such a way that you outlast and/or entrap the computer's sphere. The computer uses ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE based decision making to move it's sphere. There are four rounds in this version, each round is more difficult to beat and use different tactics to entrap your sphere. When you complete all four rounds, a wild graphic screen will entertain you. We feel this game is a new and exciting interactive graphic game. First there was PAC-MAN, then there was TETRIS, now there is GOTCHA !!. (For only $14.50) Available in 1993 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JOKE TALK Page 12 VII. Shareware Distribution --------------------------- Shareware is a growing concept for now and the future. This gives YOU the chance to freely obtain and try out this software to see if it fits your needs or provides you with entertainment. Shareware means that you try it, and if you like it, you should BUY it.... If you continue to use this Shareware program, after trying it out, you are expected to register your copy with C.S.S. Inc. and pay the registration fee. What you get in return will be the latest version of this program , PLUS A FREE second program. Please support the Shareware concept. This will enable us to continue to support our software and create new and exciting speech programs. Considering the price of a comparable commercial software package, it's obvious that Shareware is a good deal for everyone. There are real advantages to the Shareware system. You get to try out software to make sure it's compatible with your system and that it fits your needs before you "buy" it. C.S.S. Inc. saves the expense of advertising, packaging and distribution and passes the savings on to you. Plus, We are much more accessible than commercial software sources, so your questions and suggestions are much more likely to be responded to. Copyright laws apply to both Shareware and commercial software, and the copyright holder retains all rights, with a few specific exceptions as stated below. Shareware authors are accomplished programmers, just like commercial authors, and the programs are of comparable quality. (In both cases, there are good programs and bad ones!) The main difference is in the method of distribution. Shareware is a distribution method, not a type of software. You should find software that suits your needs and pocketbook, whether it's commercial or Shareware. The Shareware system makes finding software easier, because you can try before you buy. Shareware has the ultimate money-back guarantee- if you don't use the product, you don't pay for it. JOKE TALK Page 13 Shareware Dealers ----------------- If you are a Shareware dealer and plan on adding this program to your library, please send us a letter so we can add you company to our database. This will allow us to send you any updates to this program and all future Shareware programs that we develop. DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY ---------------------- THIS SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS," THERE ARE NO WARRANTIES, EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND ALL SUCH WARRANTIES ARE EXPRESSLY AND SPECIFICALLY DISCLAIMED. NEITHER C.S.S. Inc. PRODUCTS NOR ANYONE ELSE WHO HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN THE CREATION, PRODUCTION, OR DELIVERY OF THIS SOFTWARE SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF THE USE OR INABILITY TO USE SUCH SOFTWARE . THIS DISCLAIMER SHALL BE GOVERNED BY THE LAWS OF MARYLAND. Distribution restriction ------------------------ The files and programs on this disk may not modified or deleted. Please do not arc or zip these files. Disk vendors, those who sell Shareware for a profit shall not charge more then $10.00 per disk. The programs cannot be sold as part of some other package, without written permission from C.S.S. Inc.. The distribution disk cannot contain any other programs. If you plan on adding this program to a CD-ROM package, please write us for approval. When distributed via a modem link all files must be transferred in a archive format. We recommend that you use ZIP or ARC format when you would like to transfer this program over a telecommunication link. JOKE TALK Page 14 VIII. Ordering Information --------------------------- To order the new version of JOKE TALK plus a free second speech program: * Send $29.00 U.S. dollars (free shipping in USA, $2.50 shipping for foreign orders). * Make your check or money order payable to C.S.S. Inc.. * Send payment to the address below. C.S.S. Inc. 3005 Glenmore Ave. Baltimore, MD 21214 * VISA, MASTER CARD or AMERICAN EXPRESS credit card orders: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * CALL toll free 1-800-847-0309 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you have any comments or suggestions, please send us a letter or reach us on CompuServe [70461,3520] or CALL at (410) 665-0193. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT --------------------------