I've dealth with some people over the years who've told me: "I'm quitting
the amiga scene, it's no fun anymore". Some I've gotten to stay, some did
leave this holy scene. The thing I've always had to ask them stays the
same thou...
Why quit? You've paid good money for your amiga and it's equipment, now,
if you sell it, you might get 100-200 dollars or something for it. that's
a total loss. and what is it that you do on those rainy days, when there
seems to be *NOTHING* to do, no one at home and nothing on tv? that's
right! -- you go to your room, turn on your trusting amiga and like magic
you suddenly have something to do. fiddle around with some of the old
classic games, do ascii, draw, make music, call up your internet provider
and get your e-mail's or join a channel on IRC and talk to some of the
other cool amiga people out there, check out some WWW pages. you can do
EVERYTHING on your amiga - it's your mind that sets the limits. now, try
to imagine that situation with NO amiga -- what the HELL would you do??
eh?! eh?!? read a good book? yeah, rite! hoho!
the amiga has made a statment, it IS a ruling machine. recently I found a
text on some WWW site -- read it:
"STEALTH PLAYSTATION UNVEILED: THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE AT E3
Meanwhile, at E3 Sony unveiled the next step of their masterplan to a
Playstation into every home, office and rabbit hutch. The Black PlayStation
(so called because it's, er, black) comes with a PC interface, development
tools and is Net ready. You'll be able to fire up bits of home-made code by
dragging data off of your PC and into yer PSX. Sony is putting up a Web
site where people will be able to trade code and demos. SONY HOPES THE
WEB-SURFING PSX WILL GENERATE THE SAME INVOLVEMENT AS THE POOR OLD AMIGA
DID, WITH ENTHUSIASTS CHURNING OUT GRAPHICS DEMOS THAT PUSH THE MACHINE
TO EVER MORE DIZZYING STRATOSPHERES. It's only out in Japan at the moment,
but a Worldwide roll-out seems imminent."
("poor old"? FUCK YOU, no one's matched it yet you wanker! -ed)
the AMIGA is a role-model for the future, remember that. you're playing
with a machine NO ONE has managed to match yet. it's unique, and it's
coming back in a BIG way with the A-BOX project!
( we all hope.. )
AMIGA - WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE TOMMOROW?
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HOW TO BE A MAN
(contributed by u-man / arclite!)
While I was out on the waves of the WWW I found this rulebook of how to
be a real man.. Enjoy it! :)
Rules to live by...
o1. Don't call. EVER.
o2. If you don't like a girl, don't tell her. It's more fun to let her figure
it out by herself.
o3. Lie.
o4. Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and unoriginal,
such as "spike".
o5. If you lose something that belongs to someone else, tell them you mailed
it to them/already gave it to them.
o6. Play with yourself as often as possible. Tell everyone about it.
o7. Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don't want to answer, a grunt will do.
o8. Always remember: You are a man. Therefore, no matter what, it isn't your
fault.
o9. Lie.
1o. Girls find it attractive if a man has had more women than baths.
11. Never ask for help. Even if you really, really need help - don't ask.
People will think you have no penis.
12. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.
13. If, GOD FORBID, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only
monosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are permissible.
14. TWO WORDS: Hack and spit. (Big loogies means a big penis.)
15. Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his name in rine.
16. One sure way to make a girl like you is to go after her best friend.
She will then see what she's missing and love you for not giving up on her.
17. Tell her you will call. Then, refer back to rule #1.
18. Don't wear matching clothes. People will think your girlfriend picked it
out, and it will cramp your style on picking up chicks.
19. Lie.
2o. Deny everything. Everything.
21. If you like a girl, tell all your female friends about her. Especially
female friends you suspect may have a crush on you. (Probably all of them
you're a man remember?) They really want to know.
22. Don't have a clue.
23. If you get a clue, pretend you didn't and disregard it.
24. No means yes.
25. Yes means no.
26. If you don't get sex whenever you want, your balls will shrivel. You may
get sick or even die. This is one of the most important rules.
27. If anyone asks, you have had sex in all possible positions and locations.
28. Much like an orgasm signifies the end of a sexual peak, sex often signifies
the end of a relationship.
29. Feelings? What feelings?
3o. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at something,
either pretend it's not true or kick their ass.
31. Lie I tell you!!
32. DO NOT make decisions about relationships. If you are backed into a
corner and must make a decision, stall. If you still must come up with
an answer, leave yourself a loophole for escape.
Example:
Question: "Honey, will you take me out for a romantic dinner?"
Answer: "Yes, if you can guess how many sperm I produce each day."
33. Every sentence that anyone says can be twisted to have sexual meaning.
Twist.
34. At any given opportunity, point out how things look like various genitalia. (If, by chance, you have Play-Doh, make sure you make a replica of your penis. Exaggerate the dimensions by 25%).
35. Lie.
36. "Love" is not in your vocabulary. don't even think about saying it.
37. A general rule: If whatever you're doing does not satisfy you completely
in 5 minutes, it's really not worth it.
38. Ditch your girlfriend. Beg and plead until you get her back. Ditch her
again. Repeat cycle.
39. Lie.
4o. Apologize whenever it's expected. NEVER mean it.
41. If you hurt someone, pretend you care. Don't.
42. Try to have a good memory, but it's OK if you forget trivial things.
You know, like your girlfriend's b-day and eye color.
43. Ignorance solves problems. If you can't see them, they can't see you.
44. It is never your duty to take responsibility for your actions.
45. Create new words and phrases to describe genitalia, sex, semen, tc.
46. Lie.
47. Play with your food only if you are in a public place with people you
don't know.
48. Play with your penis only if you are in a public place with people you
don't know.
49. If people express extreme disgust at whatever you are doing, DON'T STOP!
This is the desired reaction.
5o. You are NOT a virgin. Ever. Males are born without virginity.
51. You are male, therefore you are superior.
52. Agenda for a typical evening: Get beer. Drink beer. Play with yourself.
Have sex. Drink more beer. Pass out.
53. Females do not care what you do to them as long as they get to please you.
54. Don't ever notice anything.
55. If you're going out with someone but you love someone else, don't say
anything. Wait until the girl you are going out with falls in love with
YOU, and then tell her.
56. Basic fundamental rule of dating: Quantity, not quality.
57. Basic fundamental rule of sex: Quantity IS quality.
58. Lie.
59. If you cheat on a girl, but no one finds out, then technically you've done
nothing wrong.
6o. Crying is not manly. Then again, if you are a man, what do you have to cry
about, anyway?
61. If the question begins with "why," the answer is "I don't know."
62. Women are your napkins. Use them, and throw them away.
63. Remember, Every virgin girl is saving herself for YOU.
64. Don't ever let anyone say "I told you so." If you hear this phrase and it
didn't come out of your mouth, go ballistic.
65. If your woman makes you go shopping with her, drive around until a parking
spot right near the door opens up. If this takes hours, so be it. You
will have the coveted "door spot" and others will worship your skills.
66. Other peoples' pain is strictly for your amusement. Laugh long, laugh
loud, laugh heartily.
67. Lie.
68. If anyone asks you for a favor-
a) make a big deal about how hard it is for you to do it,
b) remind them of this huge favor you've done for them at least every
5 minutes for the rest of their life.
69. 69.
7o. If you do something really mean to a girl, and she doesn't want to talk to
you, pretend nothing happened. If she still doesn't talk to you, casually
ask, "is something wrong?"
71. Three words: Let's be friends. Translation: I never want to speak to you
again, but it's bad for my nice-guy image if you are mad at me, so I'll
pretend I want to be your friend.
72. Lie.
73. If you're on a date, and there is a lull in the conversation, tell the
girl how many different dorms you've been laid in.
74. Here's a good trick. Tell a girl that you're going to leave for a few
minutes and when you come back, you want her naked, sprawled on the bed.
Leave, and go into her dad's room and tell him he should go check on his
daughter. Then drive like hell. (true story.)
75. If a girl breaks up with you because you're in love with someone else,
she has no right to be upset. Because, you know, SHE's the one who wanted
to end the relationship.
76. The best sex position is you, lying face up... and twenty girls on top.
77. Default facial expression: blank stare.
78. Spend your spare time thinking of excuses and shove them up your butt.
Then, whenever you need a good excuse, you can pull it out of your ass.
79. If you are asked to do something you REALLY DON'T want to do, first try
your manly best to get out of it. If that doesn't work, go ahead and do
what you were asked to do, but complain that you don't know how to do it
and continuously ask questions on how to do each little part. If no one
rushes in to do it for you YET, finish the job in the most half-assed way
you possibly can and then say, "SEE?? I TOLD you I couldn't do it."
Eventually, people will stop asking you to do things.
8o. Do not listen to "pussy music" such as Erasure, Color Me Badd, or Oldies.
81. Beer. Then more beer.
82. One word: FOOTBALL!
83. Real men beat up others who are inferior. I mean, we don't want the
inferior of the species to get to reproduce ever, do we???
84. Discuss your pecs at every opportunity.
85. LIE.
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HOMOPHOBIA?
(written by karma of arclite)
-Hey, Jason Maxwell is pretty good looking.
-What the... Are you gay, or what?!
-No, why?
What you've just read is a very common situation for me. I say that I think
a guy looks good and the next minute I'm gay in a lot of people's eyes and
that is pretty annoying I must say. Not that people think I'm gay, 'cause I
know who I am and where I stand and I can't remember ever being in love with
a guy, only my girlfriend. No, what is annoying me is that guys are not
allowed to think that another guy looks good. Or at least they're not
allowed to say it 'cause I'm pretty sure that most guys have these thoughts,
they're just to afraid to admit it.
It's a whole different thing when it comes to girls though. They go around
all the time saying that and that girl is so beautiful. They can even go
around holding each others hands and no one would ever think of them as
lesbians. Just imagine if two guys would do the same thing...
A friend of mine once said that a common prejudice is that gays or lesbians
are homosexual because they once had a bad heterosexual experience but that
has to mean that every heterosexual person once had a bad homosexual
experience...
Just think about it.
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HACKED WWW-PAGES
(written by u-man / arclite!)
You've seen it on TV, you've read about it in the newspapers - WWW-HACKS!
But often you've come there too late to actually see the hacks, now you've
got your chance to see them (possibility since summer 1996 actually :)).
Just load your favourite browser and go to:
http://www.flashback.se/hack/
There you can find 30+ hacked URL's, among them NASA, TEAM 17, US DEPARTMENT
OF JUSTICE (what justice??!) and TELIA etc.
So if you're looking for a good laugh check in!
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THOUGHTS FROM DEATH ROW/U.S.A - PART #2
(part#o1 featured in art bomb issue number one)
Column #2 of 11
Hello, I want to begin with a quick explanation regarding the last piece I
wrote. Someone asked me to define what I mean by "normal". I suppose that my
perspective on normal is different than you out there would think of it.
Normal, to me, is someone that just wants to be left alone and minds their
own business, and you can turn your back on them without worrying about being
stabbed. They don't bother anyone unless they are bothered, then they will do
what needs to be done to deal with the problem. Enough of that for now.
I want to talk about what it was like to come to Death Row so in this piece I
will start to describe the physical part of San Quentin and later I will get
into life here in more detail, but I want to use the next couple of pieces to
describe what it looks like and the process to get to the point where I am
at. To help in this, there is now a photo of San Quentin included on this
page. There are lines drawn to point out the relevant parts that I plan on
talking about. Hopefully it will help you to get a grasp of what I am talking
about.
Most guys are transported to Death Row by the County Jails where they went to
trial and were convicted. As my jail bus pulled up to the front gate, I felt
a number of things. Curiosity, dread, anger, and an enormous amount of
tension. I can remember two things that kept running through my head. I
suspect that it was my sub-conscious babbling under the stress I felt. One
thing that kept running through it was a paraphrase of that line in the
Wizard of Oz, "You're a long way from home now, Toto!" And that was
alternated with scolding myself for the mess I had managed to get into.
[Image] When I walked through the gates and entered the inner prison, I felt
the hair on the back of my neck stand up and I felt a chill deep inside of me
that wasn't related to the weather. I felt as if I had stepped back in time
one hundred years. It was really an eerie feeling. But I didn't have time to
dwell on it because things were going too quickly. I was taken to R&R
(Reception and Release) to get processed into the prison. Here I was
photographed and fingerprinted, issued blankets and prison blues. Once this
was done, two guards showed up to escort me to the Adjustment Center, or A/C.
This is where all Death Row inmates are placed when they first arrive. They
stay here until they can see the Classification Committee and they determine
which part of Death Row that you will be placed in.
There are three places in San Quentin that they keep Death Row ( or
Condemned). In A/C is where everyone goes first and may possibly have to
stay. The other parts are North Seg. This is the original Death Row and
holds about 35 condemned. The people placed here are the ones that have not
been a behavior problem in the prison. It is here where the Gas Chamber is
located. Then there is Condemned Row II. This is located in East block and
there are approximately 250 condemned Inmates here. East block on the inside
is a lot like one of those old Zeppelin Balloon hangers. A huge cavern,
ringed by gunrails where guards walk back and forth armed with machine guns
and a revolver. In the center on this large cavern is a cell block that has 5
tiers of cells and a sixth floor which is used for storage and other various
functions for the cell block. On the Bayside of this cell block is where the
condemned are kept and on the Yardside is where they keep the guys from the
mainline population. These are guys that have gotten into trouble out in the
main prison population or guys with serious mental problems and need to have
a close eye kept on them.
After being processed through R&R, I was escorted to the A/C where I was
processed once again. This consisted of the guards taking all of my personal
property except for a pencil stub, a few sheets of writing paper, and some
stamped envelopes. I was also allowed to keep my comb, bar of soap, and was
given some tooth-powder. They issued me a toothbrush with most of the handle
cut off. The guards put you in a cage as soon as you enter the building and
you strip all of your clothes off which they run through an x-ray machine.
Then they search your entire body, the hair, inside the ears, in your mouth,
bottoms of your feet, under your balls, and then they tell you to bend over
and crack a smile...which is bending over so they can look in your butt. Once
this is completed, they put handcuffs on you and take you out of the cage and
run a metal detector over your entire body. Once this is complete, you are
put in your cage to get dressed.
After they process you into the A/C, they will assign you a cell. There is
one condemned man per cell. In the A/C, there are three floors with 30-35
cells per floor. Two guards will escort you to your cell and once you reach
it, you stand in front of the cell door and the guard yells, "Open cell #
___," and there is a sudden whoosh as your cell door pops open. It sounds
like the brakes on a large semi-truck because they are opened and closed with
compressed air. Once you are inside of the cell, the guard yells to close the
door and it makes another whoosh as it slams shut with a loud bang. Then the
guard will open the tray-slot (which they pass your meals through) and remove
your handcuffs.
Inside of the cell, there is a stainless steel sink and a toilet and a bed
that is made of a sheet metal plate and covered with a pad about 1.5" thick.
This is your bed. On the wall above your bed is a bare light bulb that throws
off a dim glow. Also, there is a sliding panel in the back wall that the
guards can open and look through. At the front are the bars which are covered
with a fine mesh that you can just about poke a pencil through. I will talk
about these in another piece.
You will stay here in the cell, only getting out for a brief (8 minutes or
so) to shower. After a few days and usually within a week at the most, you
will go in front of the Classification Committee and they will review your
file and determine where to place you. I will get into that the next time,
