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1993-02-22
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ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKEN. . .WELL, SORT OF
In Egypt where the Arabic to English translations are notorious
for their punniness:
The sign on the door leading to a hotel "Our job is to enjoy you - so
please lie back and let us do our job!"
The sign beneath the Hotel Tulip in Talat Haarb Square in Cairo read:
"Dermatologist and Venerealerealist"
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In a Bangkok dry cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of
the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be
used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the
latest Methodists
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
having a good time.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: STOP! Drive sideways!
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in
all directions.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children
in the bar.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous,
efficient self-service.