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- THE HIDDEN ARTICLE
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- (TOXIC) -ADVERTISEMENT-
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- 1 3 W A Y S Y O U C A N H E L P T H E
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- G R E E N H O U S E E F F E C T
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- The world is rapidly becoming uninhabitable because of man's excesses.
- Here are 13 ways in which YOU can help speed that process up.
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- IN THE HOUSE
- ============
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- Domestic electricity comes from Power Stations, most of which burn up fossil
- fuels -coal, oil and gas- at an alarming rate, releasing an enormous quantity
- of waste gases into the atmosphere, displacing Earth's protective ozone layer
- and giving rise to the Greenhouse Effect. The more power you use, the more
- they have to burn. Here are a few simple ways you can force them to keep up
- output.
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- 1. Keep lights ON at all times. Every little helps. Remember, 16.66
- sixty watt lightbulbs use up as much power as one kilowatt electric fire !
- Wear eyeshades in bed at night so that you can keep your bedroom light on.
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- 2. Keep other domestic appliances switched ON as often as possible
- (earmuffs should be worn to guard against excessive tv, radio and vacuum
- cleaner noise). When buying domestic appliances always look for the most
- energy INefficient model. Your retailer can help you here.
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- 3. ELECTRIC COOKERS are heavy consumers of energy. Use yours at every
- meal, even if you're only having salad. Try to have a cooker in every room.
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- 4. HEATING is the major consumer of domestic energy. Always maintain
- central heating systems on maximum setting. Augment with additional electric
- heaters. Keep electric fires burning at all times, even when you're out.
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- 5. Wear light clothes around the house, or better still go naked.
- This will help you cope with the unbearable heat. Keep the fridge open for
- that continuous Cool Blast.
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- 6. NEVER INSULATE. A great deal of heat can be lost through poor
- insulation, allowing you to burn more electric fires. With luck, your house
- may burn down, adding to the Greenhouse effect.
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- 7. Chlorofleurocarbons -CFCs- are inert gases used in many aerosols
- and are an important source of Greenhouse gases. Avoid cans marked "Ozone
- Friendly" and "CFC Free". Ask your retailer for ozone UNfriendly products.
- Don't be afraid to make a fuss. He's there to serve YOU.
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- 8. Make sure your DIET includes plenty of beans and other vegetable
- matter. This will encourage your digestive system to produce METHANE, an
- often undervalued contributor to the Greenhouse Effect. Go for it !
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- IN THE CAR
- ==========
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- 9. VEHICLE EXHAUSTS are a major producer of Greenhouse gases. Use
- your car as often as possible. Drive about aimlessly. Go on long journeys
- whether you need to or not. Strictly avoid any form of Public Transport.
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- 10. Always drive a large "GAS GUZZLING" car. This burns up fuel
- more rapidly. If possible, consider switching to a truck or a bus.
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- 11. NEVER carry passengers. This forces other people to drive THEIR
- cars, thus burning up more fuel.
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- OUT AND ABOUT
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- 12. Trees help to counter the Greenhouse Effect by absorbing carbon
- dioxide and giving out oxygen. Encourage tree-felling by buying wood and
- paper products whenever possible. Insist on "tropical" timbers. Never recycle
- paper.
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- 13. Encourage your government to start WARS. Wars are enormous
- consumers of fossil fuels. Wars in oil-rich regions are best, especially
- if an oil field or two can be set alight.
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- SPONSORED by GREENSTRIFE - a Non-Charitable Organisation Dedicated to the
- Rapid Destruction of our Planet.
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- This article was extracted from a TOXIC-Comics' mag, and typed by
- IKI. Thanks to Judge Dredd for suppying the magazine !!!
- We hope that, like us, you will make of this article your bible.
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- Have luck and don't forget these laws !!!!
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