Micro R&D 1/MicroRD-CD-ROM-Vol1-1994.iso/books/irving/st_coach

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                                    1819-20
                                THE SKETCH BOOK
                                THE STAGE COACH
                              by Washington Irving

                      Omne bene
                      Sine poena
                   Tempus est ludendi.
                      Venit hora
                      Absque mora
                   Libros deponendi.
                                OLD HOLIDAY SCHOOL SONG.

  IN THE preceding paper I have made some general observations on
the Christmas festivities of England, and am tempted to illustrate
them by some anecdotes of a Christmas passed in the country; in
perusing which I would most courteously invite my reader to lay
aside the austerity of wisdom, and to put on that genuine holiday
spirit which is tolerant of folly, and anxious only for amusement.
  In the course of a December tour in Yorkshire, I rode for a long
distance in one of the public coaches, on the day preceding Christmas.
The coach was crowded, both inside and out, with passengers, who, by
their talk, seemed principally bound to the mansions of relations or
friends, to eat the Christmas dinner. It was loaded also with
hampers of game, and baskets and boxes of delicacies; and hares hung
dangling their long ears about the coachman's box, presents from
distant friends for the impending feast. I had three fine rosy-cheeked
boys for my fellow-passengers inside, full of the buxom health and
manly spirit which I have observed in the children of this country.
They were returning home for the holidays in high glee, and
promising themselves a world of enjoyment. It was delightful to hear
the gigantic plans of the little rogues, and the impracticable feats
they were to perform during their six weeks' emancipation from the
abhorred thraldom of book, birch, and pedagogue. They were full of
anticipations of the meeting with the family and household, down to
the very cat and dog; and of the joy they were to give their little
sisters by the presents with which their pockets were crammed; but the
meeting to which they seemed to look forward with the greatest
impatience was with Bantam, which I found to be a pony, and, according
to their talk, possessed of more virtues than any steed since the days
of Bucephalus. How he could trot! how he could run! and then such
leaps as he would take- there was not a hedge in the whole country
that he could not clear.
  They were under the particular guardianship of the coachman, to
whom, whenever an opportunity presented, they addressed a host of
questions, and pronounced him one of the best fellows in the world.
Indeed, I could not but notice the more than ordinary air of bustle
and importance of the coachman, who wore his hat a little on one side,
and had a large bunch of Christmas greens stuck in the buttonhole of
his coat. He is always a personage full of mighty care and business,
but he is particularly so during this season, having so many
commissions to execute in consequence of the great interchange of
presents. And here, perhaps, it may not be unacceptable to my
untravelled readers, to have a sketch that may serve as a general
representation of this very numerous and important class of
functionaries, who have a dress, a manner, a language, an air,
peculiar to themselves, and prevalent throughout the fraternity; so
that, wherever an English stage coachman may be seen, he cannot be
mistaken for one of any other craft or mystery.
  He has commonly a broad, full face, curiously mottled with red, as
if the blood had been forced by hard feeding into every vessel of
the skin; he is swelled into jolly dimensions by frequent potations of
malt liquors, and his bulk is still further increased by a
multiplicity of coats, in which he is buried like a cauliflower, the
upper one reaching to his heels. He wears a broad-brimmed, low-crowned
hat; a huge roll of colored handkerchief about his neck, knowingly
knotted and tucked in at the bosom; and has in summer time a large
bouquet of flowers in his button-hole; the present, most probably,
of some enamored country lass. His waistcoat is commonly of some
bright color, striped, and his small clothes extend far below the
knees, to meet a pair of jockey boots which reach about half way up
his legs.
  All this costume is maintained with much precision; he has a pride
in having his clothes of excellent materials; and, notwithstanding the
seeming grossness of his appearance, there is still discernible that
neatness and propriety of person, which is almost inherent in an
Englishman. He enjoys great consequence and consideration along the
road; has frequent conferences with the village housewives, who look
upon him as a man of great trust and dependence; and he seems to
have a good understanding with every bright-eyed country lass. The
moment he arrives where the horses are to be changed, he throws down
the reins with something of an air, and abandons the cattle to the
care of the hostler; his duty being merely to drive from one stage
to another. When off the box, his hands are thrust into the pockets of
his great coat, and he rolls about the inn yard with an air of the
most absolute lordliness. Here he is generally surrounded by an
admiring throng of hostlers, stable-boys, shoeblacks, and those
nameless hangers-on, that infest inns and taverns, and run errands,
and do all kind of odd jobs, for the privilege of battening on the
drippings of the kitchen and the leakage of the tap-room. These all
look up to him as to an oracle; treasure up his cant phrases; echo his
opinions about horses and other topics of jockey lore; and, above all,
endeavor to imitate his air and carriage. Every ragamuffin that has
a coat to his back, thrusts his hands in the pockets, rolls in his
gait, talks slang, and is an embryo Coachey.
  Perhaps it might be owing to the pleasing serenity that reigned in
my own mind, that I fancied I saw cheerfulness in every countenance
throughout the journey. A stage coach, however, carries animation
always with it, and puts the world in motion as it whirls along. The
horn, sounded at the entrance of a village, produces a general bustle.
Some hasten forth to meet friends; some with bundles and band-boxes to
secure places, and in the hurry of the moment can hardly take leave of
the group that accompanies them. In the meantime, the coachman has a
world of small commissions to execute. Sometimes he delivers a hare or
pheasant; sometimes jerks a small parcel or newspaper to the door of a
public house; and sometimes, with knowing leer and words of sly
import, hands to some half-blushing, half-laughing housemaid an
odd-shaped billet-doux from some rustic admirer. As the coach
rattles through the village, every one runs to the window, and you
have glances on every side of fresh country faces and blooming
giggling girls. At the corners are assembled juntos of village
idlers and wise men, who take their stations there for the important
purpose of seeing company pass; but the sagest knot is generally at
the blacksmith's, to whom the passing of the coach is an event
fruitful of much speculation. The smith, with the horse's heel in
his lap, pauses as the vehicle whirls by; the cyclops round the
anvil suspend their ringing hammers, and suffer the iron to grow cool;
and the sooty spectre, in brown paper cap, laboring at the bellows,
leans on the handle for a moment, and permits the asthmatic engine
to heave a long-drawn sigh, while he glares through the murky smoke
and sulphureous gleams of the smithy.
  Perhaps the impending holiday might have given a more than usual
animation to the country, for it seemed to me as if everybody was in
good looks and good spirits. Game, poultry, and other luxuries of
the table, were in brisk circulation in the villages; the grocers',
butchers' and fruiterers' shops were thronged with customers. The
housewives were stirring briskly about, putting their dwellings in
order; and the glossy branches of holly, with their bright-red
berries, began to appear at the windows. The scene brought to mind
an old writer's account of Christmas preparations:- "Now capons and
hens, beside turkeys, geese, and ducks, with beef and mutton- must all
die- for in twelve days a multitude of people will not be fed with a
little. Now plums and spice, sugar and honey, square it among pies and
broth. Now or never must music be in tune, for the youth must dance
and sing to get them a heat, while the aged sit by the fire. The
country maid leaves half her market, and must be sent again, if she
forgets a pack of cards on Christmas eve. Great is the contention of
holly and ivy, whether master or dame wears the breeches. Dice and
cards benefit the butler; and if the cook do not lack wit, he will
sweetly lick his fingers."
  I was roused from this fit of luxurious meditation, by a shout
from my little travelling companions. They had been looking out of the
coach windows for the last few miles, recognizing every tree and
cottage as they approached home, and now there was a general burst
of joy- "There's John! and there's old Carlo! and there's Bantam!"
cried the happy little rogues, clapping their hands.
  At the end of a lane there was an old sober-looking servant in
livery, waiting for them; he was accompanied by a superannuated
pointer, and by the redoubtable Bantam, a little old rat of a pony,
with a shaggy mane and long rusty tail, who stood dozing quietly by
the road-side, little dreaming of the bustling times that awaited him.
  I was pleased to see the fondness with which the little fellows
leaped about the steady old footman, and hugged the pointer; who
wriggled his whole body for joy. But Bantam was the great object of
interest; all wanted to mount at once, and it was with some difficulty
that John arranged that they should ride by turns, and the eldest
should ride first.
  Off they set at last; one on the pony, with the dog bounding and
barking before him, and the others holding John's hands; both
talking at once, and overpowering him with questions about home, and
with school anecdotes. I looked after them with a feeling in which I
do not know whether pleasure or melancholy predominated; for I was
reminded of those days when, like them, I had neither known care nor
sorrow, and a holiday was the summit of earthly felicity. We stopped a
few moments afterwards to water the horses, and on resuming our route,
a turn of the road brought us in sight of a neat country seat. I could
just distinguish the forms of a lady and two young girls in the
portico, and I saw my little comrades, with Bantam, Carlo, and old
John, trooping along the carriage road. I leaned out of the coach
window, in hopes of witnessing the happy meeting, but a grove of trees
shut it from my sight.
  In the evening we reached a village where I had determined to pass
the night. As we drove into the great gateway of the inn, I saw on one
side the light of a rousing kitchen fire beaming through a window. I
entered, and admired, for the hundredth time, that picture of
convenience, neatness, and broad honest enjoyment, the kitchen of an
English inn. It was of spacious dimensions, hung round with copper and
tin vessels highly polished, and decorated here and there with a
Christmas green. Hams, tongues, and flitches of bacon, were
suspended from the ceiling; a smoke-jack made its ceaseless clanking
beside the fireplace, and a clock ticked in one corner. A well-scoured
deal table extended along one side of the kitchen, with a cold round
of beef, and other hearty viands upon it, over which two foaming
tankards of ale seemed mounting guard. Travellers of inferior order
were preparing to attack this stout repast, while others sat smoking
and gossiping over their ale on two high-backed oaken settles beside
the fire. Trim housemaids were hurrying backwards and forwards under
the directions of a fresh, bustling landlady; but still seizing an
occasional moment to exchange a flippant word, and have a rallying
laugh, with the group round the fire. The scene completely realized
Poor Robin's humble idea of the comforts of mid-winter:

           Now trees their leafy hats do bare
           To reverence Winter's silver hair;
           A handsome hostesss, merry host,
           A pot of ale now and a toast,
           Tobacco and a good coal fire,
           Are things this season doth require.*

  * Poor Robin's Almanac, 1684.

  I had not been long at the inn when a post-chaise drove up to the
door. A young gentleman stept out, and by the light of the lamps I
caught a glimpse of a countenance which I thought I knew. I moved
forward to get a nearer view, when his eye caught mine. I was not
mistaken; it was Frank Bracebridge, a sprightly good-humored young
fellow, with whom I had once travelled on the continent. Our meeting
was extremely cordial, for the countenance of an old
fellow-traveller always brings up the recollection of a thousand
pleasant scenes, odd adventures, and excellent jokes. To discuss all
these in a transient interview at an inn was impossible; and finding
that I was not pressed for time, and was merely making a tour of
observation, he insisted that I should give him a day or two at his
father's country seat, to which he was going to pass the holidays, and
which lay at a few miles distance. "It is better than eating a
solitary Christmas dinner at an inn," said he, "and I can assure you
of a hearty welcome in something of the old-fashioned style." His
reasoning was cogent, and I must confess the preparation I had seen
for universal festivity and social enjoyment had made me feel a little
impatient of my loneliness. I closed, therefore, at once, with his
invitation; the chaise drove up to the door, and in a few moments I
was on my way to the family mansion of the Bracebridges.


                        THE END