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_Poor Richard Improved_
1751
COURTEOUS READER,
Astrology is one of the most ancient Sciences, had in high
Esteem of old, by the Wise and Great. Formerly, no Prince would make
War or Peace, nor any General fight a Battle, in short, no important
Affair was undertaken without first consulting an _Astrologer_, who
examined the Aspects and Configurations of the heavenly Bodies, and
mark'd the _lucky Hour._ Now the noble Art (more Shame to the Age we
live in!) is dwindled into Contempt; the Great neglect us, Empires
make Leagues, and Parliaments Laws, without advising with us; and
scarce any other Use is made of our learned Labours, than to find the
best Time of cutting Corns, or gelding Pigs. -- This Mischief we owe
in a great Measure to ourselves: The Ignorant Herd of Mankind, had
they not been encourag'd to it by some of us, would never have dared
to depreciate our sacred Dictates; but _Urania_ has been betray'd by
her own Sons; those whom she had favour'd with the greatest Skill in
her divine Art, the most eminent Astronomers among the Moderns, the
_Newtons_, _Halleys_, and _Whistons_, have wantonly contemn'd and
abus'd her, contrary to the Light of their own Consciences. Of
these, only the last nam'd, _Whiston_, has liv'd to repent, and speak
his Mind honestly. In his former Works he had treated _Judiciary
Astrology_ as a Chimera, and asserted, That not only the fixed Stars,
but the Planets (Sun and Moon excepted) were at so immense a
Distance, as to be incapable of any Influence on this Earth, and
consequently nothing could be foretold from their Positions: but now
in the Memoirs of his Life, publish'd 1749, in the 82d Year of his
Age, he foretels, Page 607, the sudden Destruction of the _Turkish_
Empire, and of the House of _Austria_, _German_ Emperors, _&c._ and
_Popes_ of _Rome_; the Restoration of the _Jews_, and Commencement of
the _Millennium_; all by the Year 1766; and this not only from
Scripture Prophecies; but (take his own Words) -- "From the
remarkable _astronomical_ Signals that are to alarm Mankind of what
is coming, _viz._ The _Northern Lights_ since 1715; the six Comets at
the Protestant Reformation in four Years, 1530, 1531, 1533, 1534,
compar'd with the seven Comets already seen in these last eleven
Years 1737, 1739, 1742, 1743, 1744, 1746, and 1748. -- From the great
Annular Eclipse of the Sun, _July_ 14, 1748, whose Center pass'd
through all the four Monarchies, from _Scotland_ to the
_East-Indies._ -- From the Occultation of the _Pleiades_ by the Moon
each periodical Month, after the Eclipse last _July_, for above three
Years, visible to the whole _Roman_ Empire; as there was a like
Occultation of the _Hyades_ from _A._ 590, to _A._ 595, for six Years
foretold by _Isaiah._ -- From the Transit of _Mercury_ over the
_Sun_, _April_ 25, 1753, which will be visible thro' that Empire. --
From the Comet of _A. D._ 1456, 1531, 1607, and 1682, which will
appear again about 1757 ending, or 1758 beginning, and will also be
visible thro' that Empire. -- From the Transit of _Venus_ over the
_Sun_, _May_ 26, 1761, which will be visible over the same Empire:
And lastly, from the annular Eclipse of the _Sun_, _March_ 11, 1764,
which will be visible over the same Empire." -- From these
_Astronomical Signs_, he foretels those great Events, That within 16
Years from this Time, "the _Millennium_ or 1000 Years Reign of Christ
shall begin, there shall be a _new Heavens_, and a _new Earth_; there
shall be no more an Infidel in _Christendom_, Page 398, nor a
Gaming-Table at _Tunbridge_!" -- When these Predictions are
accomplished, what glorious Proofs they will be of the Truth of our
Art? -- And if they happen to fail, there is no doubt but so profound
an Astronomer as Mr. _Whiston_, will be able to see _other_ Signs in
the Heavens, foreshowing that the Conversion of Infidels was to be
postponed, and the _Millennium_ adjourn'd. -- After these great
Things can any Man doubt our being capable of predicting a little
Rain or Sun-shine? -- Reader, Farewell, and make the best Use of your
Years and your Almanacks, for you see, that according to _Whiston_,
you may have at most, but sixteen more of them.
R. SAUNDERS.
_Patowmack, July_ 30, 1750.
Pray don't burn my House to roast your Eggs.
Some _Worth_ it argues, a Friend's _Worth_ to know;
_Virtue_ to own the Virtue of a Foe.
Prosperity discovers Vice, Adversity Virtue.
______
The _Romans_ were 477 Years, without so much as a Sun-dial to
show the Time of Day: The first they had was brought from _Sicily_,
by _Valerius Messala_: One hundred and eighteen Years afterwards,
_Scipio Nasica_, produced to them an Invention for measuring the
Hours in cloudy Weather, it was by the Dropping of Water out of one
Vessel into another, somewhat like our Sand-Glasses. Clocks and
Watches, to shew the Hour, are very modern Inventions. The
Sub-dividing Hours into Minutes, and Minutes into Seconds, by those
curious Machines, is not older than the Days of our Fathers, but now
brought to a surprising Nicety.
Since our Time is reduced to a Standard, and the Bullion of the
Day minted out into Hours, the Industrious know how to employ every
Piece of Time to a real Advantage in their different Professions: And
he that is prodigal of his Hours, is, in Effect, a Squanderer of
Money. I remember a notable Woman, who was fully sensible of the
intrinsic Value of _Time._ Her Husband was a Shoemaker, and an
excellent Craftsman, but never minded how the Minutes passed. In
vain did she inculcate to him, That _Time is Money._ He had too much
Wit to apprehend her, and it prov'd his Ruin. When at the Alehouse
among his idle Companions, if one remark'd that the Clock struck
Eleven, _What is that,_ says he, _among us all?_ If she sent him Word
by the Boy, that it had struck Twelve; _Tell her to be easy, it can
never be more._ If, that it had struck One, _Bid her be comforted,
for it can never be less._
If we lose our Money, it gives us some Concern. If we are
cheated or robb'd of it, we are angry: But Money lost may be found;
what we are robb'd of may be restored: The Treasure of Time once
lost, can never be recovered; yet we squander it as tho' 'twere
nothing worth, or we had no Use for it.
The Bell strikes _One_: We take no Note of Time,
But from its Loss. To give it then a Tongue
Is wise in Man. If heard aright
It is the Knell of our departed Hours;
Where are they? With the Years beyond the Flood:
It is the Signal that demands Dispatch;
How much is to be done? ------
Be wise To-day, 'tis Madness to defer;
Next day the fatal Precedent will plead;
Thus on, till Wisdom is push'd out of Life:
_Procrastination_ is the Thief of Time,
Year after Year it steals till all are fled,
And to the Mercies of a Moment leaves
The vast Concerns of an eternal Scene.
If not so frequent, would not this be strange?
That 'tis so frequent, _This_ is stranger still.
______
Many a Man would have been worse, if his Estate had been
better.
We may give Advice, but we cannot give Conduct.
He that is conscious of a Stink in his Breeches, is jealous of
every Wrinkle in another's Nose.
_Love_ and _Tooth-ach_ have many Cures, but none infallible,
except _Possession_ and _Dispossession._
There are lazy Minds as well as lazy Bodies.
Most People return small Favours, acknowledge middling ones,
and repay great ones with Ingratitude.
_______
That admirable Instrument the MICROSCOPE has opened to us of
these latter Ages, a World utterly unknown to the Ancients. There
are very few Substances, in which it does not shew something curious
and unexpected; but for the Sake of such Readers as are unacquainted
with that Instrument, I shall set down some of the most remarkably
entertaining Objects, upon which actual Observations have been made.
1. The Globules of the Blood, which are computed to be almost a
two thousandth Part of an Inch in Diameter, each consisting of six
small Globules, each of which again probably consists of six smaller,
and so on. The Circulation of the Blood is to be seen very
distinctly in the Tail of a small Fish, the Web of the Foot of a
Frog, _&c._ and the Globules to split and divide, before they can
enter the smallest Vessels.
2. The Bones of all Creatures, sliced extremely thin, afford an
entertaining Object for the Microscope, consisting of innumerable
Perforations, and Ramifications, disposed in an endless Variety of
Forms.
3. The Flesh of all Land and Sea Animals dried, and cut into
very thin Slices, gives a beautiful View of the various Fibres, and
their Convolutions. The Brain, the spinal Marrow, and even the Hairs
of Animals, exhibit different Curiosities.
4. The human Skin, by the Help of the Microscope, is found to
be covered over with an infinite Number of Scales lying over one
another, as in fishes; and it is probably the same in other Animals.
It has been computed that a Grain of Sand will cover two hundred of
these Scales.
5. All Sorts of Feathers, especially those of the Peacock,
afford a surprizing View in the Microscope. It is supposed that a
single Feather contains no less than a Million of different Parts.
6. Flies are found by the Microscope to be produced from Eggs
laid by the Mothers, from whence they are hatched in the Form of
Maggots, or small Worms, which are afterwards transformed into
Aurelias, and these into perfect Flies. This is the Process most of
the winged Insects go through in their Production. They have a great
Number of Eyes fixed to their Heads, so that they see on all Sides
around them, without turning their Heads or Eyes. A common Fly is
supposed to have eight thousand, and a great Drone Fly no less than
fourteen thousand Eyes, with a distinct optic Nerve to each; and each
Eye appears through the Microscope, tho' magnified many hundred
thousand Times, more exactly shaped, and more curiously polished,
than human Art could finish an Object as large as the whole Cluster,
containing seven thousand distinct ones. The Wings of Flies,
especially of the Moth and Butterfly Kind, are found to be contrived
with admirable Art, to answer their Use, and with inimitable Beauty
and Ornament. The Dust, which sticks to the Fingers, when we handle
them, is found to be Feathers; each of which has its Quill and vane
Parts as compleat as that of a Fowl or a Goose, and are inserted in
the Film of the Wing, with the utmost Regularity of Arrangement.
With the Microscope, the Stings of Moths and Bees appear to be
Instruments finished to the highest Perfection; their Points, and
saw-like Teeth, being perfectly polished and sharp; whereas the Edge
of a Razor appears like that of a Butcher's Cleaver, and the Point of
a Lancet like an iron Spike just come from the Anvil.
7. By the Help of the Microscope the innumerable and
inconceivably minute Animalcules in various Fluids are discovered, of
the Existence of which we have no Reason to suppose any Mortal had
the least Suspicion, till last Century. In the Melt of a single
Cod-fish ten Times more living Creatures are contained, than the
Inhabitants of _Europe_, _Asia_, _Africa_, and _America_, taking it
for granted, that all Parts of the World are as well peopled as
_Holland_, which is very far from being the Case. Of a certain
Species some are discovered so extremely minute, that it has been
computed, three Millions of them, or three Times the Number of the
Inhabitants of _London_ and _Westminster_, would not equal the Bulk
of a Grain of Sand. Of Animalcules, some Species resemble Tadpoles,
Serpents or Eels, others are of a roundish or oval Form, others of
very curiously turned and various Shapes; but in general they are
extremely vigorous and lively, and almost constantly in Motion.
Animalcules are to be found (besides those in the Bodies of Animals)
in the Infusions of Pepper, Senna, Pinks, Roses, Jessamin, Tea,
Rasberry Stalks, Fennel, Sage, Melons, sour Grapes, Wheat, Hay,
Straw, and almost all vegetable Substances; in the Water, that is in
the Shells of Oysters, Cockles, and other Shell-fish, in the Foulness
upon our Teeth, and those of other Animals, in our Skins when
affected with certain Diseases; in Vinegar, and Paste, and so on
infinitely. In each of these Substances, when exposed to the Air
some Time, Multitudes of living Creatures, beyond the Reach of
Numbers, are discovered, of which many Hundreds of Species are
already known, as different from one another as those of the largest
Animals, and very probably there are many more yet unknown. As it is
certain, that in the above mentioned Fluids few or no Animalcules are
to be found, when covered from the Air, but when open to the Access
of the Air, their Numbers are beyond reckoning; it is hardly to be
doubted, but that either the Air is replete with infinite Multitudes
of living Creatures too small for Sight, which come and deposite
their Eggs in Places proper for the Nutrition of the Young, or that
their Eggs are floating every where in the Air, and falling
promiscuously every where, only those are hatched, or come to
Perfection, which fall upon Places fitted for them, and the others
perish. However it is, the countless Numbers of those living
Creatures, the Profusion of Life every where to be observed, is above
Measure astonishing, and shews the Maker to be an infinite Being.
8. By the Help of the Microscope, we find that the Scales of
almost every different Fish are different from those of others, in
internal Texture; and that all of them are wrought with surprising
Art and Beauty.
9. By Means of this noble Instrument we find, that the Seeds of
almost all Manner of Vegetables contain in them the Stamina of the
future Plant or Tree, and that their Production from the Seed, and
their Growth to Maturity is only the Swelling and Enlarging of the
Stamina by the Addition of nutritious Juices. It is probable the
Manner of Production and Growth of Animals is analogous to this. The
Fertility of some Plants is almost beyond Belief. One particularly
is said by Naturalists to produce annually a Million of Seeds from
one. The Farina of Flowers is found by the Help of the Microscope to
be a regular organized Body, and not a meer Dust, as it appears to
the naked Eye, and is reasonably supposed to be necessary to
Fertility in Plants and Trees.
10. By the Microscope have been discovered many singular
Properties of that most unaccountable of all Creatures the Polype,
which is found at the Bottom of Ditches, and standing Waters; whose
Manner of Production, Feeding and Digestion, are different from those
of all other Animals. The young ones come out of the Sides of the
old, like Buds and Branches from Trees, and at length drop off
perfect Polypes. They do not seem to be of different Sexes. They
take in Worms, and other Sustenance, by Means of a Sett of long Arms
or _Antennae_, which surround their Mouths, and after keeping them
some Time in their Stomachs, throw them out again the same Way. The
Animal's Body consists of a single Cavity, like a Tube or Gut, and
what is wonderful, and almost beyond Belief, is, that it will live
and feed after it is turned inside out, and even when cut into a
great many Pieces, each several Piece becomes a compleat Polype.
They are infested with a Kind of Vermin, as are almost all Animals
from the largest down to Bees and other Insects. These Vermin
sometimes in a long Time will eat up the Head and Part of the Body of
a Polype, after which, if it be cleared of them, it shall have the
devoured Parts grow up again, and become as compleat as ever. Some
Polypes have around their Mouths a Sort of Plume, which they whirl
round, and making with it an Eddy in the Water, draw in their Prey,
and devour it.
11. By the Microscope it is found, that neither the Wood, the
Bark, the Root, the Leaves, the Fruit, nor even the Pith of the
meanest Vegetable is a Mass of crude or indigested Matter; but that
every different Species is different in its internal Structure, and
all curiously and delicately wrought. A Bit of Cork, cut extremely
thin, a Slice of Oak or Fir, or a Bit of Elder Pith, in the
Microscope, are so many curious Pieces of _Mosaic_ Work. Even a Bit
of Charcoal or burnt Wood appears with the Microscope an admirable
Object.
12. By this Instrument it is found, that what we call
Mouldiness upon Flesh, Leather, or other Substances, is no other than
a great Number of extremely small, but perfect Plants, having Stalks
and Tops like Mushrooms, and sometimes an Appearance of Leaves. The
Seeds of these minute Plants must, in all Probability, be diffused
universally through the Air, and falling upon Substances fit for
their Growth, spring up in astonishing Profusion. There is, in
short, no End of microscopic Objects. A Sprig of Moss, with the Help
of that Instrument, is found to be a regular Plant, consisting of a
Root, a Stock, Branches, Leaves, _&c._ and Naturalists tell us, there
are some Hundreds of different Species of it. A Bit of Spunge before
the Microscope is a curious Piece of Net-work. Every different
chymical Salt has its Parts differently figured. A Leaf of a common
stinging Nettle, the Beard of a wild Oat, the Surfaces of some
Pebble-stones, a Flake of Snow, a few Grains of Sand, or almost any
natural Thing, with this Instrument, exhibit exquisite Beauties;
while, on the contrary, the most delicate Works of Art, can by no
Means bear its Examination; but degenerate before it into Masses of
Irregularity, and Deformity.
______
Fond Pride of Dress is sure an empty Curse;
E're _Fancy_ you consult, consult your Purse.
_Youth_ is pert and positive, _Age_ modest and doubting: So
Ears of Corn when young and light, stand bolt upright, but hang their
Heads when weighty, full, and ripe.
'Tis easier to suppress the first Desire, than to satisfy all
that follow it.
Don't judge of Mens Wealth or Piety, by their _Sunday_
Appearances.
Friendship increases by visiting Friends, but by visiting
seldom.
If your Riches are yours, why don't you take them with you to
the t'other World?
What more valuable than Gold? Diamonds. Than Diamonds?
Virtue.
To-day is Yesterday's Pupil.
If worldly Goods cannot save me from Death, they ought not to
hinder me of eternal Life.
'Tis great Confidence in a Friend to tell him _your_ Faults,
greater to tell him _his._
Talking against Religion is unchaining a Tyger; The Beast let
loose may worry his Deliverer.
_Ambition_ often spends foolishly what _Avarice_ had wickedly
collected.
_Pillgarlic_ was in the _Accusative_ Case, and bespoke a Lawyer
in the _Vocative_, who could not understand him till he made use of
the _Dative._
Great Estates may venture more;
Little Boats must keep near Shore.
Nice Eaters seldom meet with a good Dinner.
Not to oversee Workmen, is to leave them your Purse open.
The Wise and Brave dares own that he was wrong.
Cunning proceeds from Want of Capacity.
______
It is an amusing Speculation to look back, and compute what
Numbers of Men and Women among the Ancients, clubb'd their Endeavours
to the Production of a single Modern. As you reckon backwards the
Number encreases in the same Proportion as the Price of the Coat
which was sold for a Half-penny a Button, continually doubled.
Thus, a present Nobleman (for Instance) is 1
His Father and Mother were 2
His Grandfathers and Grandmothers 4
His Great Grandfathers and Great Grandmothers, 8
And, supposing no Intermarriages among Relations,
the next Predecessors will be 16
The next Ditto, 32 The next Ditto, 8192
The next Ditto, 64 The next Ditto, 16384
The next Ditto, 128 The next Ditto, 32768
The next Ditto, 256 The next Ditto, 65536
The next Ditto, 512 The next Ditto, 131072
The next Ditto, 1024 The next Ditto, 262144
The next Ditto, 2048 The next Ditto, 524288
The next Ditto, 4096 The next Ditto. 1048576
Here are only computed 21 Generations, which, allowing 3
Generations to 100 Years, carry us back no farther than the _Norman_
Conquest, at which Time each present Nobleman, to exclude all ignoble
Blood from his Veins, ought to have had One Million, Forty-eight
Thousand, Five Hundred and Seventy-six noble Ancestors. Carry the
Reckoning back 300 Years farther, and the Number amounts to above 500
Millions; which are more than exist at any one Time upon Earth, and
shews the Impossibility of preserving Blood free from such Mixtures,
and that the Pretension of such Purity of Blood in ancient Families
is a mere Joke. Hence we see how it happens that every Nation has a
kind of general Cast of Feature, by which it may be distinguished;
continual Intermarriages for a Course of Ages rendring all the People
related by Blood, and, as it were, of one Family.
______
The Proud hate Pride -- in others.
Who judges best of a Man, his Enemies or himself?
Drunkenness, that worst of Evils, makes some Men Fools, some
Beasts, some Devils.
'Tis not a Holiday that's not kept holy.