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_Poor Richard_
1742
_Courteous READER,_
This is the ninth Year of my Endeavours to serve thee in the
Capacity of a Calendar-Writer. The Encouragement I have met with
must be ascrib'd, in a great Measure, to your Charity, excited by the
open honest Declaration I made of my Poverty at my first Appearance.
This my Brother _Philomaths_ could, without being Conjurers,
discover; and _Poor Richard_'s Success, has produced ye a _Poor
Will_, and a _Poor Robin_; and no doubt _Poor John_, &c. will follow,
and we shall all be _in Name_ what some Folks say we are already _in
Fact_, A Parcel of _poor Almanack Makers._ During the Course of these
nine Years, what Buffetings have I not sustained! The Fraternity
have been all in Arms. Honest _Titan_, deceas'd, was rais'd, and
made to abuse his old Friend. Both Authors and Printers were angry.
Hard Names, and many, were bestow'd on me. They deny'd me to be the
Author of my own Works; declar'd there never was any such Person;
asserted that I was dead 60 Years ago; prognosticated my Death to
happen within a Twelvemonth: with many other malicious
Inconsistences, the Effects of blind Passion, Envy at my Success; and
a vain Hope of depriving me (dear Reader) of thy wonted Countenance
and Favour. -- _Who knows him?_ they cry: _Where does he live?_ --
But what is that to them? If I delight in a private Life, have they
any Right to drag me out of my Retirement? I have good Reasons for
concealing the Place of my Abode. 'Tis time for an old Man, as I am,
to think of preparing for his great Remove. The perpetual Teasing of
both Neighbours and Strangers, to calculate Nativities, give
Judgments on Schemes, erect Figures, discover Thieves, detect
Horse-Stealers, describe the Route of Run-aways and stray'd Cattle;
The Croud of Visitors with a 1000 trifling Questions; _Will my Ship
return safe? Will my Mare win the Race? Will her next Colt be a
Pacer? When will my Wife die? Who shall be my Husband, and HOW LONG
_first?_ _When is the best time to cut Hair, trim Cocks, or sow
Sallad?_ These and the like Impertinences I have now neither Taste
nor Leisure for. I have had enough of 'em. All that these angry
Folks can say, will never provoke me to tell them where I live. I
would eat my Nails first.
My last Adversary is _J. J ------ n_, Philomat. who _declares
and protests_ (in his Preface, 1741) that the _false Prophecy put in
my Almanack, concerning him, the Year before, is altogether_ false
and untrue: _and that I am one of Baal's false Prophets._ This
_false, false Prophecy_ he speaks of, related to his Reconciliation
with the Church of _Rome_; which, notwithstanding his Declaring and
Protesting, is, I fear, too true. Two Things in his elegiac Verses
confirm me in this Suspicion. He calls the First of _November_ by
the Name of _All Hallows Day._ Reader; does not this smell of Popery?
Does it in the least savour of the pure Language of Friends? But the
plainest Thing is; his Adoration of Saints, which he confesses to be
his Practice, in these Words, page 4.
_When any Trouble did me befal,
To my dear_ Mary _then I would call:_
Did he think the whole World were so stupid as not to take
Notice of this? So ignorant as not to know, that all Catholicks pay
the highest Regard to the _Virgin-Mary_? Ah! Friend _John_, We must
allow you to be a Poet, but you are certainly no Protestant. I could
heartily wish your Religion were as good as your Verses.
_RICHARD SAUNDERS._
______
Strange! that a Man who has wit enough to write a Satyr; should
have folly enough to publish it.
He that hath a Trade, hath an Estate.
Have you somewhat to do to-morrow; do it to-day.
No workman without tools,
Nor Lawyer without Fools,
Can live by their Rules.
The painful Preacher, like a candle bright,
Consumes himself in giving others Light.
Speak and speed: the close mouth catches no flies.
Visit your Aunt, but not every Day; and call at your Brother's,
but not every night.
Bis dat, qui cito dat.
Money and good Manners make the Gentleman.
Late Children, early Orphans.
_Ben_ beats his Pate, and fancys wit will come;
But he may knock, there's no body at home.
The good Spinner hath a large Shift.
_Tom_, vain's your Pains; They all will fail:
Ne'er was good Arrow made of a Sow's Tail.
Empty Free-booters, cover'd with Scorn:
They went out for Wealth, & come ragged and torn,
As the Ram went for Wool, and was sent back shorn.
Ill Customs & bad Advice are seldom forgotten.
He that sows thorns, should not go barefoot.
Reniego de grillos, aunque sean d'oro.
Men meet, mountains never.
When Knaves fall out, honest Men get their goods: When Priests
dispute, we come at the Truth.
_Kate_ would have _Thomas_, no one blame her can:
_Tom_ won't have _Kate_, and who can blame the Man?
A large train makes a light Purse.
Death takes no bribes.
One good Husband is worth two good Wives; for the scarcer
things are the more they're valued.
He that riseth late, must trot all day, and shall scarce
overtake his business at night.
He that speaks ill of the Mare, will buy her.
You may drive a gift without a gimblet.
Eat few Suppers, and you'll need few Medicines.
You will be careful, if you are wise;
How you touch Men's Religion, or Credit, or Eyes.
After Fish,
Milk do not wish.
xxx
Heb Dduw heb ddim, a Duw a digon.
They who have nothing to trouble them, will be troubled at
nothing.
Against Diseases here, the strongest Fence,
Is the defensive Virtue, Abstinence.
Fient de chien, & marc d'argent,
Seront tout un au jour du jugement.
If thou dost ill, the joy fades, not the pains;
If well, the pain doth fade, the joy remains.
To err is human, to repent divine, to persist devilish.
Money & Man a mutual Friendship show:
Man makes _false_ Money, Money makes Man so.
Industry pays Debts, Despair encreases them.
Bright as the day and as the morning fair,
Such _Cloe_ is, & common as the air.
Here comes _Glib-tongue_: who can out-flatter a Dedication; and
lie, like ten Epitaphs.
_Hope_ and a Red-Rag, are Baits for Men and Mackrel.
With the old Almanack and the old Year,
Leave thy old Vices, tho' ever so dear.
------------------------------------------------------------
_Rules of Health and long Life, and to preserve from
Malignant Fevers, and Sickness in general._
Eat and drink such an exact Quantity as the Constitution of thy
Body allows of, in reference to the Services of the Mind.
They that study much, ought not to eat so much as those that
work hard, their Digestion being not so good.
The exact Quantity and Quality being found out, is to be kept
to constantly.
Excess in all other Things whatever, as well as in Meat and
Drink, is also to be avoided.
Youth, Age, and Sick require a different Quantity.
And so do those of contrary Complexions; for that which is too
much for a flegmatick Man, is not sufficient for a Cholerick.
The Measure of Food ought to be (as much as possibly may be)
exactly proportionable to the Quality and Condition of the Stomach,
because the Stomach digests it.
That Quantity that is sufficient, the Stomach can perfectly
concoct and digest, and it sufficeth the due Nourishment of the Body.
A greater Quantity of some things may be eaten than of others,
some being of lighter Digestion than others.
The Difficulty lies, in finding out an exact Measure; but eat
for Necessity, not Pleasure, for Lust knows not where Necessity ends.
Wouldst thou enjoy a long Life, a healthy Body, and a vigorous
Mind, and be acquainted also with the wonderful Works of God? labour
in the first place to bring thy Appetite into Subjection to Reason.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
_Rules to find out a fit Measure of Meat and Drink._
If thou eatest so much as makes thee unfit for Study, or other
Business, thou exceedest the due Measure.
If thou art dull and heavy after Meat, it's a sign thou hast
exceeded the due Measure; for Meat and Drink ought to refresh the
Body, and make it chearful, and not to dull and oppress it.
If thou findest these ill Symptoms, consider whether too much
Meat, or too much Drink occasions it, or both, and abate by little
and little, till thou findest the Inconveniency removed.
Keep out of the Sight of Feasts and Banquets as much as may be;
for 'tis more difficult to refrain good Cheer, when it's present,
than from the Desire of it when it is away; the like you may observe
in the Objects of all the other Senses.
If a Man casually exceeds, let him fast the next Meal, and all
may be well again, provided it be not too often done; as if he exceed
at Dinner, let him refrain a Supper, _&c._
A temperate Diet frees from Diseases; such are seldom ill, but
if they are surprised with Sickness, they bear it better, and recover
sooner; for most Distempers have their Original from Repletion.
Use now and then a little Exercise a quarter of an Hour before
Meals, as to swing a Weight, or swing your Arms about with a small
Weight in each Hand; to leap, or the like, for that stirs the Muscles
of the Breast.
A temperate Diet arms the Body against all external Accidents;
so that they are not so easily hurt by Heat, Cold or Labour; if they
at any time should be prejudiced, they are more easily cured, either
of Wounds, Dislocations or Bruises.
But when malignant Fevers are rife in the Country or City where
thou dwelst, 'tis adviseable to eat and drink more freely, by Way of
Prevention; for those are Diseases that are not caused by Repletion,
and seldom attack Full-feeders.
A sober Diet makes a Man die without Pain; it maintains the
Senses in Vigour; it mitigates the Violence of Passions and
Affections.
It preserves the Memory, it helps the Understanding, it allays
the Heat of Lust; it brings a Man to a Consideration of his latter
End; it makes the Body a fit Tabernacle for the Lord to dwell in;
which makes us happy in this World, and eternally happy in the World
to come, through Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour.