Media Share 9/MEDIASHARE_09.ISO/private/rhino.zip/OFFICE.DOC

Text File | 1992-01-10 | 6KB | 199 lines

                        DYNAMIC  UNIVERSAL  INDUSTRIES
                      "We make advancements everywhere."

                               INTEROFFICE MEMO


          To:      Mr. Daniel P. Staid
                   Board Chairman
                   Dynamic Universal Industries, Inc.
                   1234 Headlong Drive
                   Danbury, Connecticut


          From:    Benjamin "Ben" Jackson
                   Sales Trainee
                   Excelsior Staples
                   Office Applications Division
                   Fastening Systems Group
                   Dynamic Universal Industries,Inc.
                   Southern Midwest Office
                   1000 Commerce Circle
                   Oklahoma City, Oklahoma


          Subject: Office Renovation


          Date:  October 10,1989


          Dear Mr. Staid,

          There is a recent condition here that I feel requires your
          immediate attention.  It seems that there may be a problem
          with product compatibility.

          Please allow me to preface this letter with a few general
          comments.

          I have been with the Excelsior Staples division for just
          over three months.  I feel that it is a fine little
          company and I hope to be able to help it someday achieve
          and maintain the distinction as Dynamic Universal
          Industries' #1 profit maker.

          I realize that you have never heard of me due to my short
          tenure here.  Yet please hear me out. I don't intend to
          appear as one who complains but I have taken this up with
          five increasingly higher levels of management and have on
          every occasion been told, "Why don't you go tell the
          Chairman of the Board?"

          The issue at hand has to do with the results of a recent
          office renovation here at Excelsior, performed from my
          third through fifth weeks on the job.

          First I must say that the workmen did an excellent job.

          The new white ceiling tiles, manufactured by Dynamic





          Universal Industries' Styrofoam Reproductions Division,
          accent the existing lighting to its best advantage.

          The new pine-printed paneling (Dynamic Universal
          Industries Wood Simulations Division) on the interior
          petitions adds a sense of dignity and is perfectly
          accented by the fresh pastel paint (DUI's Interior
          Chemicals Division) on the remaining cinder block walls.

          This is all given a feeling of cheerful warmth by the
          brightly colored Duralast (a new product of our Synthetic
          Textiles Division) carpeting.

          And the new restroom fittings (Industrial/Domestic Valve
          Division), having been made from an advanced new material,
          are the most modern and impressive I've seen.  I'm certain
          that this is now the most impressive sales office in
          Oklahoma City, if not the entire Midwest.

          I will describe my experiences to the best of my ability.
          Please understand, this is not a quality complaint.
          Having just completed Dynamic Universal's two-week course
          on Statistical Process and Quality Control, Prediction,
          and Assurance, I could not possibly doubt that our
          quality-related documentation is nothing less than the
          best of any in the world.

          The new pastel paint that I referred to before seems to
          have given off an unusual odor.  Actually, many of the
          office staff appear to have enjoyed it as they wandered
          through the halls, smiling and talking to themselves in
          hushed tones.

          It wasn't until Mrs. Pennysworth, the Executive Secretary,
          lit a cigarette that anyone began to suspect a problem.
          She appears to have recovered completely now, thanks to
          the wig.

          We did our best to overlook this until the plastic veneer
          on the new paneling began to bubble and peel off.  Our
          division being the Staple Supplier to the World, we
          quickly fixed this on our own.

          But when the ceiling tiles began to shrink and fall down
          on us at unpredictable moments, there was nothing we could
          do.

          Yet the other problem is many times worse.  You see, Mr.
          Staid, the entire office was carpeted, including the
          restrooms.  The new carpet, although quite beautiful, has
          an extreme tendency to `pick up' static electricity.  I
          was shocked into realization of this upon my first use of
          the new urinal.

          On the surface this would seem a small concern, but Mr.
          Jack Stevens, our Regional Director of Sales, a fine man
          with over thirty years of service, upon his first
          experience had to be taken out by ambulance!  As a result
          of this and their own personal experiences, many of our
          seasoned veterans are taking early retirement.






          Not only will this hurt our long-term performance but it
          has become a major distraction.  I must tell you that I
          have witnessed on more than one occasion some of our
          younger salesmen take a running slide into the Mens' room!

          As the nearest public restrooms are located in the Shell
          station two blocks away, our secretaries are now absent
          more than they are present.  Frankly I'm lucky to have
          gotten this memo typed at all.

          Should you have the slightest doubt concerning any of
          this, please honor us with a visit and see for yourself.

          Thank you for your time.

          Sincerely,




          Ben Jackson


          BJ: bj