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                        Part 6

LETTER THE SECOND

     Madam,

     If I have delay'd the sequel of my history, it has been
purely to allow myself a little breathing time not without
some hopes that, instead of pressing me to a continuation,
you would have acquitted me of the task of pursuing a con-
fession, in the course of which my self-esteem has so many
wounds to sustain.

     I imagined, indeed, that you would have been cloy'd and
tired with uniformity of adventures and expressions, insep-
arable from a subject of this sort, whose bottom, or ground-
work being, in the nature of things, eternally one and the
same, whatever variety of forms and modes the situations are
susceptible of, there is no escaping a repetition of near
the same images, the same figures, the same expressions,
with this further inconvenience added to the disgust it cre-
ates, that the words JOYS, ARDOURS, TRANSPORTS, EXTASIES,
and the rest of those pathetic terms so congenial to, so
received in the PRACTICE OF PLEASURE, flatten and lose much
of their due spirit and energy by the frequency they indis-
pensably recur with, in a narrative of which that PRACTICE
professedly composes the whole basis.  I must therefore
trust to the candour of your judgement, for your allowing
for the disadvantage I am necessarily under in that respect,
and to your imagination and sensibility, the pleasing task
of repairing it by their supplements, where my descriptions
flag or fail: the one will readily place the pictures I
present before your eyes; the other give life to the colours
where they are dull, or worn with too frequent handling.

     What you say besides, by way of encouragement, con-
cerning the extreme difficulty of continuing so long in one
strain, in a mean temper'd with taste, between the revolt-
ingness of gross, rank and vulgar expressions, and the ridi-
cule of mincing metaphors and affected circumlocutions, is
so sensible, as well as good-natur'd, that you greatly
justify me to myself for my compliance with a curiosity that
is to be satisfied so extremely at my expense.

     Resuming now where I broke off in my last, I am in my
way to remark to you that it was late in the evening before
I arriv'd at my new lodgings, and Mrs. Cole, after helping
me to range and secure my things, spent the whole evening
with me in my apartment, where we supped together, in giving
me the best advice and instruction with regard to this new
stage of my profession I was now to enter upon; and passing
thus from a private devotee to pleasure into a public one,
to become a more general good, with all the advantages re-
quisite to put my person out to use, either for interest or
pleasure, or both.  But then, she observ'd, as I was a kind
of new face upon the town, that it was an established rule,
and part of trade, for me to pass for a maid, and dispose of
myself as such on the first good occasion, without prejudice,
however, to such diversions as I might have a mind to in the
interim; for that nobody could be a greater enemy than she
was to the losing of time.  That she would, in the mean time,
do her best to find out a proper person, and would undertake
to manage this nice point for me, if I would accept of her
aid and advice to such good purpose that, in the loss of a
fictitious maidenhead, I should reap all the advantages of a
native one.

     Though such a delicacy of sentiments did not extremely
belong to my character at that time, I confess, against my-
self, that I perhaps too readily closed with a proposal which
my candor and ingenuity gave me some repugnance to: but not
enough to contradict the intention of one to whom I had now
thoroughly abandoned the direction of all my steps.  For Mrs.
Cole had, I do not know how unless by one of those unaccount-
able invincible sympathies that, nevertheless, form the
strongest links, especially of female friendship, won and
got entire possession of me.  On her side, she pretended
that a strict resemblance she fancied she saw in me to an
only daughter whom she had lost at my age, was the first
motive of her taking to me so affectionately as she did.  It
might be so: there exist as slender motives of attachment
that, gathering force from habit and liking, have proved
often more solid and durable than those founded on much
stronger reasons; but this I know, that tho' I had no other
acquaintance with her than seeing her at my lodgings when I
lived with Mr. H . . ., where she had made errands to sell
me some millinery ware, she had by degrees insinuated her-
self so far into my confidence that I threw myself blindly
into her hands, and came, at length, to regard, love, and
obey her implicitly; and, to do her justice, I never experi-
enc'd at her hands other than a sincerity of tenderness, and
care for my interest, hardly heard of in those of her pro-
fession.  We parted that night, after having settled a per-
fect unreserv'd agreement; and the next morning Mrs. Cole
came, and took me with her to her house for the first time.

     Here, at the first sight of things, I found everything
breath'd an air of decency, modesty and order.

     In the outer parlour, or rather shop, sat three young
women, very demurely employ'd on millinery work, which was
the cover of a traffic in more precious commodities; but
three beautifuller creatures could hardly be seen.  Two of
them were extremely fair, the eldest not above nineteen;
and the third, much about that age, was a piquant brunette,
whose black sparkling eyes, and perfect harmony of features
and shape, left her nothing to envy in her fairer companions.
Their dress too had the more design in it, the less it ap-
peared to have, being in a taste of uniform correct neatness,
and elegant simplicity.  These were the girls that compos'd
the small domestick flock, which my governess train'd up with
surprising order and management, considering the giddy wild-
ness of young girls once got upon the loose.  But then she
never continued any in her house, whom, after a due novitiate,
she found untractable, or unwilling to comply with the rules
of it.  Thus had she insensibly formed a little family of
love, in which the members found so sensibly their account,
in a rare alliance of pleasure with interest, and of a
necessary outward decency with unbounded secret liberty,
that Mrs. Cole, who had pick'd them as much for their temper
as their beauty, govern'd them with ease to herself and them
too.

     To these pupils then of hers, whom she had prepar'd,
she presented me as a new boarder, and one that was to be
immediately admitted to all the intimacies of the house; upon
which these charming girls gave me all the marks of a welcome
reception, and indeed of being perfectly pleased with my
figure, that I could possibly expect from any of my own sex:
but they had been effectually brought to sacrifice all jeal-
ousy, or competition of charms, to a common interest, and
consider'd me a partner that was bringing no despicable stock
of goods into the trade of the house.  They gathered round
me, view'd me on all sides; and as my admission into this
joyous troop made a little holiday, the shew of work was
laid aside; and Mrs. Cole giving me up, with special recom-
mendation, to their caresses and entertainment, went about
her ordinary business of the house.

     The sameness of our sex, age, profession, and views
soon created as unreserv'd a freedom and intimacy as if we
had been for years acquainted.  They took and shew'd me the
house, their respective apartments, which were furnished
with every article of conveniency and luxury; and above all,
a spacious drawing-room, where a select revelling band usu-
ally met, in general parties of pleasure; the girls supping
with their sparks, and acting their wanton pranks with un-
bounded licentiousness; whilst a defiance of awe, modesty or
jealousy were their standing rules, by which, according to
the principles of their society, whatever pleasure was lost
on the side of sentiment was abundantly made up to the
senses in the poignancy of variety, and the charms of ease
and luxury.  The authors and supporters of this secret in-
stitution would, in the height of their humours style them-
selves the restorers of the golden age and its simplicity
of pleasures, before their innocence became so injustly
branded with the names of guilt and shame.

     As soon then as the evening began, and the shew of a
shop was shut, the academy open'd; the mask of mock-modesty
was completely taken off, and all the girls deliver'd over
to their respective calls of pleasure or interest with
their men; and none of that sex was promiscuously admitted,
but only such as Mrs. Cole was previously satisfied with
their character and discretion.  In short, this was the
safest, politest, and, at the same time, the most thorough
house of accommodation in town: every thing being conducted
so that decency made no intrenchment upon the most libertine
pleasures, in the practice of which too, the choice familiars
of the house had found the secret so rare and difficult, of
reconciling even all the refinements of taste and delicacy
with the most gross and determinate gratifications of senu-
ality.

     After having consum'd the morning in the endearments
and instructions of my new acquaintance, we went to dinner,
when Mrs. Cole, presiding at the head of her club, gave me
the first idea of her management and address, in inspiring
these girls with so sensible a love and respect for her.
There was no stiffness, no reserve, no airs of pique, or
little jealousies, but all was unaffectedly gay, cheerful
and easy.

     After dinner, Mrs. Cole, seconded by the young ladies,
acquainted me that there was a chapter to be held that night
in form, for the ceremony of my reception into the sister-
hood; and in which, with all due reserve to my maidenhead,
that was to be occasionally cook'd up for the first proper
chapman, I was to undergo a ceremonial of initiation they
were sure I should not be displeased with.

     Embark'd as I was, and moreover captivated with the
charms of my new companions, I was too much prejudic'd in
favour of any proposal they could make, to much as hesitate
an assent; which, therefore, readily giving in the style of
a carte blanche, I receiv'd fresh kisses of compliment from
them all, in approval of my docility and good nature.  Now
I was "a sweet girl . . ."  I came into things with a "good
grace . . ."  I was not "affectedly coy . . ."  I should be
"the pride of the house . . ." and the like.

     This point thus adjusted, the young women left Mrs.
Cole to talk and concert matters with me: she explained to
me that I should be introduc'd, that very evening, to four
of her best friends, one of whom she had, according to the
custom of the house, favoured with the preference of engag-
ing me in the first party of pleasure; assuring me, at the
same time, that they were all young gentlemen agreeable in
their persons, and unexceptionable in every respect; that
united, and holding together by the band of common pleasures,
they composed the chief support of her house, and made very
liberal presents to the girls that pleas'd and humour'd
them, so that they were, properly speaking, the founders
and patrons of this little seraglio.  Not but that she had,
at proper seasons, other customers to deal with, whom she
stood less upon punctilio with than with these; for instance,
it was not on one of them she could attempt to pass me for
a maid; they were not only too knowing, too much town-bred
to bite at such a bait, but they were such generous bene-
factors to her that it would be unpardonable to think of it.

     Amidst all the flutter and emotion which this promise
of pleasure, for such I conceiv'd it, stirr'd up in me, I
preserved so much of the woman as to feign just reluctance
enough to make some merit of sacrificing it to the influence
of my patroness, whom I likewise, still in character, re-
minded of it perhaps being right for me to go home and dress,
in favour of my first impressions.

     But Mrs. Cole, in opposition to this, assured me that
the gentlemen I should be presented to were, by their rank
and taste of things, infinitely superior to the being touched
with any glare of dress or ornaments, such as silly women
rather confound and overlay than set off their beauty with;
that these veteran voluptuaries knew better than not to hold
them in the highest contempt: they with whom the pure native
charms alone could pass current, and who would at any time
leave a sallow, washy, painted duchess on her own hands, for
a ruddy, healthy, firm-flesh'd country maid; and as for my
part, that nature had done enough for me, to set me above
owing the least favour to art; concluding withal, that for
the instant occasion, there was no dress like an undress.

     I thought my governess too good a judge of these matters
not to be easily over-ruled by her: after which she went on
preaching very pathetically the doctrine of passive obedience
and not-resistance to all those arbitrary tastes of pleasure,
which are by some styl'd the refinements, and by others the
depravations of it; between whom it was not the business of
a simple girl, who was to profit by pleasing, to decide, but
to conform to.  Whilst I was edifying by these wholesome
lessons, tea was brought in, and the young ladies, returning,
joined company with us.

     After a great deal of mix'd chat, frolic and humour,
one of them, observing that there would be a good deal of
time on hand before the assembly-hour, proposed that each
girl should entertain the company with that critical period
of her personal history in which she first exchanged the
maiden state for womanhood.  The proposal was approv'd, with
only one restriction of Mrs. Cole, that she, on account of
her age, and I, on account of my titular maidenhead, should
be excused, at least till I had undergone the forms of the
house.  This obtain'd me a dispensation, and the promotress
of this amusement was desired to begin.

     Her name was Emily; a girl fair to excess, and whose
limbs were, if possible, too well made, since their plump
fullness was rather to the prejudice of that delicate slimness
requir'd by the nicer judges of beauty; her eyes were blue,
and streamed inexpressible sweetness, and nothing could be
prettier than her mouth and lips, which clos'd over a range
of the evenest and whitest teeth.  Thus she began:

     "Neither my extraction, nor the most critical adventure
of my life, is sublime enough to impeach me of any vanity in
the advancement of the proposal you have approv'd of.  My
father and mother were, and for aught I know, are still,
farmers in the country, not above forty miles from town:
their barbarity to me, in favour of a son, on whom only they
vouchsafed to bestow their tenderness, had a thousand times
determined me to fly their house, and throw myself on the
wide world; but, at length, an accident forc'd me on this
desperate attempt at the age of fifteen.  I had broken a
china bowl, the pride and idol of both their hearts; and as
an unmerciful beating was the least I had to depend on at
their hands, in the silliness of those tender years I left
the house, and, at all adventures, took the road to London.
How my loss was resented I do not know, for till this instant
I have not heard a syllable about them.  My whole stock was
too broad pieces of my grandmother's, a few shillings, silver
shoe-buckles and a silver thimble.  Thus equipp'd, with no
more cloaths than the ordinary ones I had on my back, and
frighten'd at every foot or noise I heard behind me, I
hurried on; and I dare swear, walked a dozen miles before I
stopped, through mere weariness and fatigue.  At length I
sat down on a stile, wept bitterly, and yet was still rather
under increased impressions of fear on the account of my
escape; which made dread, worse than death, the going back
to face my unnatural parents.  Refresh'd by this little
repose, and relieved by my tears, I was proceeding onward,
when I was overtaken by a sturdy country lad who was going to
London to see what he could do for himself there, and, like
me, had given his friends the slip.  He could not be above
seventeen, was ruddy, well featur'd enough, with uncombed
flaxen hair, a little flapp'd hat, kersey frock, yarn stock-
ings, in short, a perfect plough-boy.  I saw him come whist-
ling behind me, with a bundle tied to the end of a stick,
his travelling equipage.  We walk'd by one another for some
time without speaking; at length we join'd company, and
agreed to keep together till we got to our journey's end.
What his designs or ideas were, I know not: the innocence of
mine I can solemnly protest.

     "As night drew on, it became us to look out for some
inn or shelter; to which perplexity another was added, and
that was, what we should say for ourselves, if we were
question'd.  After some puzzle, the young fellow started a
proposal, which I thought the finest that could be; and
what was that? why, that we should pass for husband and wife:
I never once dream'd of consequences.  We came presently,
after having agreed on this notable expedient, to one of
those hedge-accommodations for foot passengers, at the door
do which stood an old crazy beldam, who seeing us trudge by,
invited us to lodge there.  Glad of any cover, we went in,
and my fellow traveller, taking all upon him, call'd for what
the house afforded, and we supped together as man and wife;
which, considering our figures and ages, could not have
passed on any one but such as any thing could pass on.  But
when bedtime came on, we had neither of us the courage to
contradict out first account of ourselves; and what was ex-
tremely pleasant, the young lad seem'd as perplex'd as I was,
how to evade lying together, which was so natural for the
state we had pretenced to.  Whilst we were in this quandary,
the landlady takes the candle and lights us to our apartment,
through a long yard, at the end of which it stood, separate
from the body of the house.  Thus we suffer'd ourselves to
be conducted, without saying a word in opposition to it; and
there, in a wretched room, with a bed answerable, we were
left to pass the night together, as a thing quite of course.
For my part, I was so incredibly innocent as not even then to
think much more harm of going to bed with the young man than
with one of our dairy-wenches; nor had he, perhaps, any other
notions than those of innocence, till such a fair occasion
put them into his head.

     "Before either of us undressed, however, he put out
the candle; and the bitterness of the weather made it a kind
of necessity for me to go into bed: slipping then my cloaths
off, I crept under the bed-cloaths, where I found the young
stripling already nestled, and the touch of his warm flesh
rather pleas'd than alarm'd me.  I was indeed too much dis-
turbed with the novelty of my condition to be able to sleep;
but then I had not the least thought of harm.  But, oh! how
powerful are the instincts of nature! how little is there
wanting to set them in action!  The young man, sliding his
arm under my body, drew me gently towards him, as if to keep
himself and me warmer; and the heat I felt from joining our
breasts, kindled another that I had hitherto never felt, and
was, even then, a stranger to the nature of.  Emboldened, I
suppose, by my easiness, he ventur'd to kiss me, and I insen-
sibly returned it, without knowing the consequence of return-
ing it; for, on this encouragement, he slipped his hand all
down from my breast to that part of me where the sense of
feeling is so exquisitely critical, as I then experienc'd by
its instant taking fire upon the touch, and glowing with a
strange tickling heat: there he pleas'd himself and me, by
feeling, till, growing a little too bold, he hurt me, and
made me complain.  Then he took my hand, which he guided,
not unwillingly on my side, between the twist of his closed
thighs, which were extremely warm; there he lodged and
pressed it, till raising it by degrees, he made me feel the
proud distinction of his sex from mine.  I was frighten'd
at the novelty, and drew back my hand; yet, pressed and
spurred on by sensations of a strange pleasure, I could not
help asking him what that was for?  He told me he would
show me if I would let him; and, without waiting for my
answer, which he prevented by stopping my mouth with kisses
I was far from disrelishing, he got upon me, and inserting
one of his thighs between mine, opened them so as to make
way for himself, and fixed me to his purpose; whilst I was
so much out of my usual sense, so subdu'd by the present
power of a new one, that, between fear and desire, I lay
utterly passive, till the piercing pain rous'd and made me
cry out.  But it was too late: he was too firm fix'd in the
saddle for me to compass flinging him, with all the strug-
gles I could use, some of which only served to further his
point, and at length an irresistible thrust murdered at once
my maidenhead, and almost me.  I now lay a bleeding witness
of the necessity impos'd on our sex, to gather the first
honey off the thorns.

     "But the pleasure rising as the pain subsided, I was
soon reconciled to fresh trials, and before morning, nothing
on earth could be dearer to me than this rifler of my virgin
sweets: he was every thing to me now.  How we agreed to join
fortunes; how we came up to town together, where we lived
some time, till necessity parted us, and drove me into this
course of life, in which I had been long ago battered and
torn to pieces before I came to this age, as much through
my easiness, as through my inclination, had it not been for
my finding refuge in this house: these are all circumstances
which pass the mark I proposed, so that here my narrative
ends."

     In the order of our sitting, it was Harriet's turn to
go on.  Amongst all the beauties of our sex that I had be-
fore or have since seen, few indeed were the forms that
could dispute excellence with her's; it was not delicate,
but delicacy itself incarnate, such was the symmetry of her
small but exactly fashion'd limbs.  Her complexion, fair as
it was, appeared yet more fair from the effect of two black
eyes, the brilliancy of which gave her face more vivacity
than belonged to the colour of it, which was only defended
from paleness by a sweetly pleasing blush in her cheeks,
that grew fainter and fainter, till at length it died away
insensibly into the overbearing white.  Then her miniature
features join'd to finish the extreme sweetness of it,
which was not belied by that of temper turned to indolence,
languor, and the pleasures of love.  Press'd to subscribe
her contingent, she smiled, blushed a little, and thus
complied with our desires:

     "My father was neither better nor worse than a miller
near the city of York; and both he and my mother dying
whilst I was an infant, I fell under the care of a widow
and childless aunt, housekeeper to my lord N . . ., at his
seat in the county of . . ., where she brought me up with
all imaginable tenderness.  I was not seventeen, as I am
not now eighteen, before I had, on account of my person
purely (for fortune I had notoriously none), several advan-
tageous proposals; but whether nature was slow in making me
sensible in her favourite passion, or that I had not seen
any of the other sex who had stirr'd up the least emotion
or curiosity to be better acquainted with it, I had, till
that age, preserv'd a perfect innocence, even of thought:
whilst my fears of I did not well know what, made me no
more desirous of marrying than of dying.  My aunt, good
woman, favoured my timorousness, which she look'd on as
childish affection, that her own experience might probably
assure her would wear off in time, and gave my suitors
proper answers for me.

     "The family had not been down at that seat for years,
so that it was neglected, and committed entirely to my aunt,
and two old domestics to take care of it.  Thus I had the
full range of a spacious lonely house and gardens, situate
at about half a mile distance form any other habitation,
except, perhaps, a straggling cottage or so.

     "Here, in tranquillity and innocence, I grew up with-
out any memorable accident, till one fatal day I had, as I
had often done before, left my aunt fast asleep, and secure
for some hours, after dinner; and resorting to a kind of
ancient summer-house, at some distance from the house, I
carried my work with me, and sat over a rivulet, which its
door and window fac'd upon.  Here I fell into a gentle
breathing slumber, which stole upon my senses, as they
fainted under the excessive heat of the season at that hour;
a cane couch, with my work-basket for a pillow, were all
the conveniencies of my short repose; for I was soon awaked
and alarmed by a flounce, and the noise of splashing in the
water.  I got up to see what was the matter; and what indeed
should it be but the son of a neighbouring gentleman, as I
afterwards found (for I had never seen him before), who had
strayed that way with his gun, and heated by his sport, and
the sultriness of the day, had been tempted by the freshness
of the clear stream; so that presently stripping, he jump'd
into it on the other side, which bordered on a wood, some
trees whereof, inclined down to the water, form'd a pleasing
shady recess, commodious to undress and leave his clothes
under.

     "My first emotions at the sight of this youth, naked in
the water, were, with all imaginable respect to truth, those
of surprise and fear; and, in course, I should immediately
have run out, had not my modesty, fatally for itself, inter-
posed the objection of the door and window being so situated
that it was scarce possible to get out, and make my way
along the bank to the house, without his seeing me: which I
could not bear the thought of, so much ashamed and con-
founded was I at having seen him.  Condemn'd then to stay
till his departure should release me, I was greatly embar-
rassed how to dispose of myself:  I kept some time betwixt
terror and modesty, even from looking through the window,
which being an old-fashinon'd casement, without any light
behind me, could hardly betray any one's being there to
him from within; then the door was so secure, that without
violence, or my own consent, there was no opening it from
without.

     "But now, by my own experience, I found it too true
that objects which affright us, when we cannot get from
them, draw out eyes as forcibly as those that please us.
I could not long withstand that nameless impulse, which,
without any desire of this novel sight, compelled me to-
wards it; embolden'd too by my certainty of being at once
unseen and safe, I ventur'd by degrees to cast my eyes on an
object so terrible and alarming to my virgin modesty as a
naked man.  But as I snatched a look, the first gleam that
struck me was in general the dewy lustre of the whitest skin
imaginable, which the sun playing upon made the reflection
of it perfectly beamy.  His face, in the confusion I was in,
I could not well distinguish the lineaments of, any farther
than that there was a great deal of youth and freshness in
it.  The frolic and various play of all his polish'd limbs,
as they appeared above the surface, in the course of his
swimming or wantoning with the water, amus'd and insensibly
delighted me: sometimes he lay motionless, on his back,
waterborne, and dragging after him a fine head of hair,
that, floating, swept the stream in a bush of black curls.
Then the over-flowing water would make a separation between
his breast and glossy white belly; at the bottom of which I
could not escape observing so remarkable a distinction as a
black mossy tuft, out of which appeared to emerge a round,
softish, limber, white something, that played every way,
with ever the least motion or whirling eddy.  I cannot say
but that part chiefly, by a kind of natural instinct,
attracted, detain'd, captivated my attention: it was out of
the power of all my modesty to command my eye away from it;
and seeing nothing so very dreadful in its appearance, I
insensibly lock'd away all my fears: but as fast as they
gave way, new desires and strange wishes took place, and I
melted as I gazed.  The fire of nature, that had so long
lain dormant or conceal'd, began to break out, and made me
feel my sex the first time.  He had now changed his pos-
ture, and swam prone on his belly, striking out with his
legs and arms, finer modell'd than which could not have
been cast, whilst his floating locks played over a neck and
shoulders whose whiteness they delightfully set off.  Then
the luxuriant swell of flesh that rose form the small of
his back, and terminated its double cope at where the
thighs are sent off, perfectly dazzled one with its watery
glistening gloss.

     "By this time I was so affected by this inward involu-
tion of sentiments, so soften'd by this sight, that now,
betrayed into a sudden transition from extreme fears to ex-
treme desires, I found these last so strong upon me, the
heat of the weather too perhaps conspiring to exalt their
rage, that nature almost fainted under them.  Not that I so
much as knew precisely what was wanting to me: my only
thought was that so sweet a creature as this youth seemed
to me could only make me happy; but then, the little like-
lihood there was of compassing an acquaintance with him, or
perhaps of ever seeing him again, dash'd my desires, and
turn'd them into torments.  I was still gazing, with all
the powers of my sight, on this bewitching object, when, in
an instant, down he went.  I had heard of such things as a
cramp seizing on even the best swimmers, and occasioning
their being drowned; and imagining this so sudden eclipse
to be owing to it, the inconceivable fondness this unknown
lad had given birth to distracted me with the most killing
terrors; insomuch, that my concern giving the wings, I flew
to the door, open'd it, ran down to the canal, guided
thither by the madness of my fears for him, and the intense
desire of being an instrument to save him, though I was
ignorant how, or by what means to effect it: but was it for
fears, and a passion so sudden as mine, to reason? All this
took up scarce the space of a few moments.  I had then just
life enough to reach the green borders of the waterpiece,
where wildly looking round for the young man, and missing
him still, my fright and concern sunk me down in a deep
swoon, which must have lasted me some time; for I did not
come to myself till I was rous'd out of it by a  sense of
pain that pierced me to the vitals, and awaked me to the
most surprising circumstance of finding myself not only in
the arms of this very same young gentleman I had been so
solicitous to save, but taken at such an advantage in my
unresisting condition that he had actually completed his
entrance into me so far, that weakened as I was by all the
preceding conflicts of mind I had suffer'd, and struck dumb
by the violence of my surprise, I had neither the power to
cry out nor the strength to disengage myself from his stren-
uous embraces, before, urging his point, he had forced his
way and completely triumphed over my virginity, as he might
now as well see by the streams of blood that follow'd his
drawing out, as he had felt by the difficulties he had met
with consummating his penetration.  But the sight of the
blood, and the sense of my condition, had (as he told me
afterwards), since the ungovernable rage of his passion was
somewhat appeas'd, now wrought so far on him that at all
risks, even of the worst consequences, he could not find in
his heart to leave me, and make off, which he might easily
have done.  I still lay all descompos'd in bleeding ruin,
palpitating, speechless, unable to get off, and frightened,
and fluttering like a poor wounded partridge, and ready to
faint away again at the sense of what had befallen me.  The
young gentleman was by me, kneeling, kissing my hand, and
with tears in his eyes beseeching me to forgive him, and
offering all the reparation in his power.  It is certain
that could I, at the instant of regaining my senses, have
called out, or taken the bloodiest revenge, I would not have
stuck at it: the violation was attended too with such aggra-
vating circumstances, though he was ignorant of them, since
it was to my concern for the preservation of his life that I
owed my ruin.

     "But how quick is the shift of passions from one extreme
to another! and how little are they acquainted with the human
heart who dispute it!  I could not see this amiable criminal,
so suddenly the first object of my love, and as suddenly of
my just hate, on his knees, bedewing my hand with his tears,
without relenting.  He was still stark-naked, but my modesty
had been already too much wounded, in essentials, to be so
much shocked as I should have otherwise been with appearances
only; in short, my anger ebbed so fast, and the tide of love
return'd so strong upon me, that I felt it a point of my own
happiness to forgive him.  The reproaches I made him were
murmur'd in so soft a tone, my eyes met his with such glances,
expressing more languor than resentment, that he could not
but presume his forgiveness was at no desperate distance;
but still he would not quit his posture of submission, till
I had pronounced his pardon in form; which after the most
fervent entreaties, protestations, and promises, I had not
the power to withhold.  On which, with the utmost marks of a
fear of again offending, he ventured to kiss my lips, which
I neither declined nor resented; but on my mild expostula-
tions with him upon the barbarity of his treatment, he
explain'd the mystery of my ruin, if not entirely to the
clearance, at least much to the alleviation of his guilt, in
the eyes of a judge so partial in his favour as I was grown.

     "Its seems that the circumstance of his going down, or
sinking, which in my extreme ignorance I had mistaken for
something very fatal, was no other than a trick of diving
which I had not ever heard, or at least attended to, the
mention of: and he was so long-breath'd at it, that in the
few moments in which I ran out to save him, he had not yet
emerged, before I fell into the swoon, in which, as he rose,
seeing me extended on the bank, his first idea was that some
young woman was upon some design of frolic or diversion with
him, for he knew I could not have fallen a-sleep there with-
out his having seen me before: agreeably to which notion he
had ventured to approach, and finding me without sign of life,
and still perplex'd as he was what to think of the adventure,
he took me in his arms at all hazards, and carried me into
the summer-house, of which he observed the door open: there
he laid me down on the couch, and tried, as he protested in
good faith, by several means to bring me to myself again,
till fired, as he said, beyond all bearing by the sight and
touch of several parts of me which were unguardedly exposed
to him, he could no longer govern his passion; and the less,
as he was not quite sure that his first idea of this swoon
being a feint was not the very truth of the case: seduced
then by this flattering notion, and overcome by the present,
as he styled them, superhuman temptations, combined with the
solitude and seeming security of the attempt, he was not
enough his own master not to make it.  Leaving me then just
only whilst he fastened the door, he returned with redoubled
eagerness to his prey: when, finding me still entranced, he
ventured to place me as he pleased, whilst I felt, no more
than the dead, what he was about, till the pain he put me to
roused me just in time enough to be witness of a triumph I
was not able to defeat, and now scarce regretted: for as he
talked, the tone of his voice sounded, methought, so sweetly
in my ears, the sensible nearness of so new and interesting
an object to me wrought so powerfully upon me, that, in the
rising perception of things in a new and pleasing light, I
lost all sense of the past injury.  The young gentleman soon
discern'd the symptoms of a reconciliation in my softened
looks, and hastening to receive the seal of it from my lips,
press'd them tenderly to pass his pardon in the return of a
kiss so melting fiery, that the impression of it being car-
ried to my heart, and thence to my new-discover'd sphere of
Venus, I was melted into a softness that could refuse him
nothing.  When now he managed his caresses and endearments
so artfully as to insinuate the most soothing consolations
for the past pain and the most pleasing expectations of
future pleasure, but whilst mere modesty kept my eyes from
seeing his and rather declined them,  I had a glimpse of
that instrument of the mischief which was now, obviously
even to me, who had scarce had snatches of a comparative
observation of it, resuming its capacity to renew it, and
grew greatly alarming with its increase of size, as he bore
it no doubt designedly, hard and stiff against one of my
hands carelessly dropt; but then he employ'd such tender
prefacing, such winning progressions, that my returning
passion of desire being now so strongly prompted by the
engaging circumstances of the sight and incendiary touch of
his naked glowing beauties, I yielded at length at the
force of the present impressions, and he obtained of my
tacit blushing consent all the gratifications of pleasure
left in the power of my poor person to bestow, after he had
cropt its richest flower, during my suspension of life and
abilities to guard it.

     "Here, according to the rule laid down, I should stop;
but I am so much in motion, that I could not if I would.  I
shall only add, however, that I got home without the least
discovery, or suspicion of what had happened.  I met my
young ravisher several times after, whom I now passionately
lov'd and who, tho' not of age to claim a small but indepen-
dent fortune, would have married me; but as the accidents
that prevented it, and their consequences which threw me on
the publick, contain matters too moving and serious to in-
troduce at present, I cut short here."

     Louisa, the brunette whom I mentioned at first, now
took her turn to treat the company with her history.  I have
already hinted to you the graces of her person, than which
nothing could be more exquisitely touching; I repeat touch-
ing, as a just distinction from striking, which is ever a
less lasting effect, and more generally belongs to the fair
complexions: but leaving that decision to every one's taste,
I proceed to give you Louisa's narrative as follows:

     "According to practical maxims of life, I ought to
boast of my birth, since I owe it to pure love, without
marriage; but this I know, it was scarce possible to inherit
a stronger propensity to that cause of my being than I did.
I was the rare production of the first essay of a journeyman
cabinet-maker on his master's maid: the consequence of which
was a big belly, and the loss of a place.  He was not in
circumstances to do much for her; and yet, after all this
blemish, she found means, after she had dropt her burthen
and disposed of me to a poor relation's in the country, to
repair it by marrying a pastry-cook here in London, in
thriving business; on whom she soon, under favour of the
complete ascendant he had given her over him, passed me for
a child she had by her first husband.  I had, on that foot-
ing, been taken home, and was not six years old when this
step-father died and left my mother in tolerable circum-
stances, and without any children by him.  As to my natural
father, he had betaken himself to the sea; where, when the
truth of things came out, I was told that he died, not
immensely rich you may think, since he was no more than a
common sailor.  As I grew up, under the eyes of my mother,
who kept on the business, I could not but see, in her
severe watchfulness, the marks of a slip which she did not
care should be hereditary, but we no more choose our pas-
sions than our features or complexion, and the bent of
mine was so strong to the forbidden pleasure, that it got
the better, at length, of all her care and precaution.  I
was scarce twelve years old before that part which she
wanted so much to keep out of harm's way made me feel its
impatience to be taken notice of, and come into play: al-
ready had it put forth the signs of forwardness in the
sprout of a soft down over it, which had often flatter'd,
and I might also say, grown under my constant touch and
visitation, so pleas'd was I with what I took to be a kind
of title to womanhood, that state I pin'd to be entr'd of,
for the pleasures I conceiv'd were annexed to it; and now
the growing importance of that part to me, and the new sen-
sations in it, demolish'd at once all my girlish playthings
and amusements.  Nature now pointed me strongly to more
solid diversions, while all the stings of desire settled so
fiercely in that little centre of them, that I could not
mistake the spot I wanted a playfellow in.

     "I now shunn'd all company in which there was no hopes
of coming at the object of my longings, and used to shut
myself up, to indulge in solitude some tender meditation on
the pleasures I strongly perceiv'd the overture of, in feel-
ing and examining what nature assur'd me must be the chosen
avenue, the gates for unknown bliss to enter at, that I
panted after.

     "But these meditations only increas'd my disorder, and
blew the fire that consumed me.  I was yet worse when, yield-
ing at length to the insupportable irritations of the little
fairy charm that tormented me, I seiz'd it with my fingers,
teasing it to no end.  Sometimes, in the furious excitations
of desire, I threw myself on the bed, spread my thighs
abroad, and lay as it were expecting the longed-for relief,
till finding my illusion, I shut and squeez'd them together
again, burning and fretting.  In short, this dev'lish thing,
with its impetuous girds and itching fires, led me such a
life that I could neither night nor day be at peace with it
or myself.  In time, however, I thought I had gained a pro-
digious prize, when figuring to myself that my fingers were
something of the shape of what I pined for, I worked my way
in for one of them with great agitation and delight; yet
not without pain too did I deflower myself as far as it
could reach; proceeding with such a fury of passion, in
this solitary and last shift of pleasure, as extended me at
length breathless on the bed in an amorous melting trance.

     "But frequency of use dulling the sensation, I soon
began to perceive that this work was but a paltry shallow
expedient that went but a little way to relieve me, and
rather rais'd more flame than its dry and insignificant
titillation could rightly appease.

     "Man alone, I almost instinctively knew, as well as by
what I had industriously picked up at weddings and christen-
ings, was possess'd of the only remedy that could reduce this
rebellious disorder; but watch'd and overlook'd as I was, how
to come at it was the point, and that, to all appearance, an
invincible one; not that I did not rack my brains and inven-
tion how at once to elude my mother's vigilance, and procure
myself the satisfaction of my impetuous curiosity and long-
ings for this mighty and untasted pleasure.  At length, how-
ever, a singular chance did at once the work of a long course
of alertness.  One day that we had dined at an acquaintance's
over the way, together with a gentlewoman-lodger that occu-
pied the first floor of our house, there started an indis-
pensable necessity for my mother's going down to Greenwich
to accompany her: the party was settled, when I do not know
what genius whispered me to plead a headache, which I cer-
tainly had not, against my being included in a jaunt that I
had not the least relish for.  The pretext however passed,
and my mother, with much reluctance, prevailed with herself
to go without me; but took particular care to see me safe
home, where she consign'd me into the hands of an old
trusty maid-servant, who served in the shop, for we had not
a male creature in the house.

     "As soon as she was gone, I told the maid I would go up
and lie down on our lodger's bed, mine not being made, with
a charge to her at the same time not to disturb me, as it
was only rest I wanted.  This injunction probably prov'd of
eminent service to me.  As soon as I was got into the bed-
chamber, I unlaced my stays, and threw myself on the outside
of the bed-cloaths, in all the loosest undress.  Here I gave
myself up to the old insipid privy shifts of my self-viewing,
self-touching, self-enjoying, in fine, to all the means of
self-knowledge I could devise, in search of the pleasure that
fled before me, and tantalized with that unknown something
that was out of my reach; thus all only serv'd to enflame
myself, and to provoke violently my desires, whilst the one
thing needful to their satisfaction was not at hand, and I
could have bit my fingers, for representing it so ill.  After
then wearying and fatiguing myself with grasping shadows,
whilst that most sensible part of me disdain'd to content
itself with less than realities, the strong yearnings, the
urgent struggles of nature towards the melting relief, and
the extreme self-agitations I had used to come at it, had
wearied and thrown me into a kind of unquiet sleep: for, if
I tossed and threw about my limbs in proportion to the dis-
traction of my dreams, as I had reason to believe I did, a
bystander could not have help'd seeing all for love.  And
one there was it seems; for waking out of my very short
slumber, I found my hand lock'd in that of a young man, who
was kneeling at my bed-side, and begging my pardon for his
boldness: but that being a son to the lady to whom this bed-
chamber, he knew, belonged, he had slipp'd by the servant of
the shop, as he supposed, unperceiv'd, when finding me asleep,
his first ideas were to withdraw; but that he had been fix'd
and detain'd there by a power he could better account for
than resist.

     "What shall I say? my emotions of fear and surprize
were instantly subdued by those of the pleasure I bespoke
in great presence of mind from the turn this adventure might
take.  He seem'd to me no other than a pitying angel, dropt
out of the clouds: for he was young and perfectly handsome,
which was more than even I had asked for; man, in general,
being all that my utmost desires had pointed at.  I thought
then I could not put too much encouragement into my eyes and
voice; I regretted no leading advances; no matter for his
after-opinion of my forwardness, so it might bring him to
the point of answering my pressing demands of present case;
it was not now with his thoughts, but his actions, that my
business immediately lay.  I rais'd then my head, and told
him, in a soft tone that tended to prescribe the same key to
him, that his mamma was gone out and would not return till
late at night: which I thought no bad hint; but as it prov'd,
I had nothing of a novice to deal with.  The impressions I
had made on him from the discoveries I had betrayed of my
person in the disordered motions of it, during his view of
me asleep, had, as he afterwards told me, so fix'd and charm-
ingly prepar'd him, that, had I known his dispositions, I
had more to hope from his violence than to fear from his
respect; and even less than the extreme tenderness which I
threw into my voice and eyes, would have served to encourage
him to make the most of the opportunity.  Finding then that
his kisses, imprinted on my hand, were taken as tamely as he
could wish, he rose to my lips; and glewing his to them, made
me so faint with over-coming joy and pleasure that I fell
back, and he with me, in course, on the bed, upon which I
had, by insensibly shifting from the side to near the middle,
invitingly made room for him.  He is now lain down by me,
and the minutes being too precious to consume in untimely
ceremony, or dalliance, my youth proceeds immediately to
those extremities, which all my looks, flushing and palpi-
tations had assured him he might attempt without the fear of
repulse: those rogues, the men, read us admirably on these
occasions.  I lay then at length panting for the imminent
attack, with wishes far beyond my fears, and for which it
was scarce possible for a girl, barely thirteen, but all and
well grown, to have better dispositions.  He threw up my
petticoat and shift, whilst my thighs were, by an instinct
of nature, unfolded to their best; and my desires had so
thoroughly destroy'd all modesty in me, that even their
being now naked and all laid open to him, was part of the
prelude that pleasure deepen'd my blushes at, more than
shame.  But when his hand, and touches, naturally attracted
to their centre, made me feel all their wantonness and
warmth in, and round it, oh! how immensely different a
sense of things did I perceive there, than when under my
own insipid handling!  And now his waistcoat was unbuttoned,
and the confinement of the breeches burst through, when out
started to view the amazing, pleasing object of all my
wishes, all my dreams, all my love, the king member indeed!
I gaz'd at, I devoured it, at length and breadth, with my
eyes intently directed to it, till his getting upon me, and
placing it between my thighs, took from me the enjoyment of
its sight, to give me a far more grateful one in its touch,
in that part where its touch is so exquisitely affecting.
Applying it then to the minute opening, for such at that age
it certainly was, I met with too much good will, I felt with
too great a rapture of pleasure the first insertion of it,
to heed much the pain that followed: I thought nothing too
dear to pay for this the richest treat of the senses; so
that, split up, torn, bleeding, mangled, I was still supe-
riorly pleas'd, and hugg'd the author of all this delicious
ruin.  But when, soon after, he made his second attack, sore
as every thing was, the smart was soon put away by the sove-
reign cordial; all my soft complainings were silenc'd, and
the pain melting fast away into pleasure.  I abandon'd myself
over to all its transports, and gave it the full possession
of my whole body and soul; for now all thought was at an end
with me; I lived but in what I felt only.  And who could
describe those feelings, those agitations, yet exalted by
the charm of their novelty and surprize? when that part of
me which had so long hunger'd for the dear morsel that now
so delightfully crammed it, forc'd all my vital sensations
to fix their home there, during the stay of my beloved guest;
who too soon paid me for his hearty welcome in a dissolvent,
richer far than that I have heard of some queen treating her
paramour with, in liquify'd pearl, and ravishingly pour'd
into me, where, now myself too much melted to give it a dry
reception, I hail'd it with the warmest confluence on my
side, amidst all those extatic raptures, not unfamiliar I
presume to this good company!  Thus, however, I arrived at
the very top of all my wishes, by an accident unexpected
indeed, but not so wonderful; for this young gentleman was
just arriv'd in town from college, and came familiarly to
his mother at her apartment, where he had once before been,
though by mere chance.  I had not seen him: so that we knew
one another by hear-say only; and finding me stretched on
his mother's bed, he readily concluded, from her descrip-
tion who it was.  The rest you know.

     "This affair had however no ruinous consequences, the
young gentleman escaping then, and many more times undis-
cover'd.  But the warmth of my constitution, that made the
pleasures of love a kind of necessary of life to me, having
betray'd me into indiscretions fatal to my private fortune,
I fell at length to the publick; from which, it is probable,
I might have met with the worst of ruin if my better fate
had not thrown me into this safe and agreeable refuge."

     Here Louisa ended; and these little histories having
brought the time for the girls to retire, and to prepare
for the revels of the evening, I staid with Mrs. Cole till
Emily came and told us the company was met, and waited for
us.

                        END PART 6