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                        Part 3

     Charles, already dispos'd by the evidence of his senses
to think my pretences to virginity not entirely apocryphal,
smothers me with kisses, begs me, in the name of love, to
have a little patience, and that he will be as tender of
hurting me as he would be of himself.

     Alas! it was enough I knew his pleasure to submit joy-
fully to him, whatever pain I foresaw it would cost me.

     He now resumes his attempts in more form: first, he put
one of the pillows under me, to give the blank of his aim a
more favourable elevation, and another under my head, in
ease of it; then spreading my thighs, and placing himself
standing between them, made them rest upon his hips; apply-
ing then the point of his machine to the slit, into which he
sought entrance: it was so small, he could scarce assure
himself of its being rightly pointed.  He looks, he feels,
and satisfies himself: the driving forward with fury, its
prodigious stiffness, thus impacted, wedgelike, breaks the
union of those parts, and gain'd him just the insertion of
the tip of it, lip-deep; which being sensible of, he improv-
ed his advantage, and following well his stroke, in a
straight line, forcibly deepens his penetration; but put me
to such intolerable pain, from the separation of the sides
of that soft passage by a hard thick body, I could have
scream'd out; but, as I was unwilling to alarm the house, I
held in my breath, and cramm'd my petticoat, which was
turn'd up over my face, into my mouth, and bit it through
in the agony.  At length, the tender texture of that tract
giving way to such fierce tearing and rending, he pierc'd
something further into me: and now, outrageous and no longer
his own master, but borne headlong away by the fury and
over-mettle of that member, now exerting itself with a kind
of native rage, he breaks in, carries all before him, and
one violent merciless lunge sent it, imbrew'd, and reeking
with virgin blood, up to the very hilt in me . . . Then!
then all my resolution deserted me: I scream'd out, and
fainted away with the sharpness of the pain; and, as he told
me afterwards, on his drawing out, when emission was over
with him, my thighs were instantly all in a stream of blood
that flow'd from the wounded torn passage.

     When I recover'd my senses, I found myself undress'd,
and a-bed, in the arms of the sweet relenting murderer of my
virginity, who hung mourning tenderly over me, and holding
in his hand a cordial, which, coming from the still dear
author of so much pain, I could not refuse; my eyes, however,
moisten'd with tears, and languishingly turn'd upon him,
seemed to reproach him with his cruelty, and ask him if such
were the rewards of love.  But Charles, to whom I was now
infinitely endear'd by this complete triumph over a maiden-
head, where he so little expected to find one, in tenderness
to that pain which he had put me to, in procuring himself
the height of pleasure, smother'd his exultation, and em-
ploy'd himself with so much sweetness, so much warmth, to
sooth, to caress, and comfort me in my soft complainings,
which breath'd, indeed, more love than resentment, that I
presently drown'd all sense of pain in the pleasure of seeing
him, of thinking that I belong'd to him: he who was now the
absolute disposer of my happiness, and, in one word, my fate.

     The sore was, however, too tender, the wound too bleed-
ing fresh, for Charles's good-nature to put my patience pre-
sently to another trial; but as I could not stir, or walk
across the room, he order'd the dinner to be brought to the
bed-side, where it could not be otherwise than my getting
down the wing of a fowl, and two or three glasses of wine,
since it was my ador'd youth who both serv'd, and urged them
on me, with that sweet irresistible authority with which love
had invested him over me.

     After dinner, and as everything but the wine was taken
away, Charles very impudently asks a leave, he might read the
grant of in my eyes, to come to bed to me, and accordingly
falls to undressing; which I could not see the progress of
without strange emotions of fear and pleasure.

     He is now in bed with me the first time, and in broad
day; but when thrusting up his own shirt and my shift, he
laid his naked glowing body to mine . . . oh! insupportable
delight! oh! superhuman rapture! what pain could stand be-
fore a pleasure so transporting?  I felt no more the smart
of my wounds below; but, curling round him like the tendril
of a vine, as if I fear'd any part of him should be un-
touch'd or unpress'd by me, I return'd his strenuous em-
braces and kisses with a fervour and gust only known to true
love, and which mere lust could never rise to.

     Yes, even at this time, when all the tyranny of the
passions is fully over and my veins roll no longer but a
cold tranquil stream, the remembrance of those passages
that most affected me in my youth, still cheers and re-
freshes me.  Let me proceed then.  My beauteous youth was
now glew'd to me in all the folds and twists that we could
make our bodies meet in; when, no longer able to rein in the
fierceness of refresh'd desires, he gives his steed the head
and gently insinuating his thighs between mine, stopping my
mouth with kisses of humid fire, makes a fresh irruption,
and renewing his thrusts, pierces, tears, and forces his way
up the torn tender folds that yielded him admission with a
smart little less severe that when the breach was first made.
I stifled, however, my cries, and bore him with the passive
fortitude of a heroine; soon his thrusts, more and more fur-
ious, cheeks flush'd with a deeper scarlet, his eyes turn'd
up in the fervent fit, some dying sighs, and an agonizing
shudder, announced the approaches of that extatic pleasure,
I was yet in too much pain to come in for my share of it.

     Nor was it till after a few enjoyments had numb'd and
blunted the sense of the smart, and given me to feel the
titillating inspersion of balsamic sweets, drew from me the
delicious return, and brought down all my passion, that I
arrived at excess of pleasure through excess of pain.  But,
when successive engagements had broke and inur'd me, I began
to enter into the true unallay'd relish of that pleasure of
pleasures, when the warm gush darts through all the ravish'd
inwards; what floods of bliss! what melting transports! what
agonies of delight! too fierce, too mighty for nature to
sustain; well has she therefore, no doubt, provided the re-
lief of a delicious momentary dissolution, the approaches of
which are intimated by a dear delirium, a sweet thrill on the
point of emitting those liquid sweets, in which enjoyment
itself is drown'd, when one gives the languishing stretch-out,
and dies at the discharge.

     How often, when the rage and tumult of my senses had
subsided after the melting flow, have I, in a tender medi-
tation ask'd myself coolly the question, if it was in nature
for any of its creatures to be so happy as I was?  Or, what
were all fears of the consequence, put in the scale of one
night's enjoyment of any thing so transcendently the taste
of my eyes and heart, as that delicious, fond, matchless
youth?

     Thus we spent the whole afternoon till supper time in
a continued circle of love delights, kissing, turtle-billing,
toying, and all the rest of the feast.  At length, supper
was serv'd in, before which Charles had, for I do not know
what reason, slipt his cloaths on; and sitting down by the
bed-side, we made table and table-cloth of the bed and sheets,
whilst he suffer'd nobody to attend or serve but himself.  He
ate with a very good appetite, and seem'd charm'd to see me
eat.  For my part, I was so enchanted with my fortune, so
transported with the comparison of the delights I now swam
in, with the insipidity of all my past scenes of life, that
I thought them sufficiently cheap at even the price of my
ruin, or the risk of their not lasting.  The present pos-
session was all my little head could find room for.

     We lay together that night, when, after playing re-
peated prizes of pleasure, nature, overspent and satisfy'd,
gave us up to the arms of sleep: those of my dear youth en-
circled me, the consciousness of which made even that sleep
more delicious.

     Late in the morning I wak'd first; and observing my
lover slept profoundly, softly disengag'd myself from his
arms, scarcely daring to breathe for fear of shortening his
repose; my cap, my hair, my shift, were all in disorder from
the rufflings I had undergone; and I took this opportunity
to adjust and set them as well as I could: whilst, every now
and then, looking at the sleeping youth with inconceivable
fondness and delight, and reflecting on all the pain he had
put me to, tacitly own'd that the pleasure had overpaid me
for my sufferings.

     It was then broad day.  I was sitting up in the bed,
the cloaths of which were all tossed, or rolled off, by the
unquietness of our motions, from the sultry heat of the
weather; nor could I refuse myself a pleasure that solicited
me so irresistibly, as this fair occasion of feasting my
sight with all those treasures of youthful beauty I had en-
joy'd, and which lay now almost entirely naked, his shirt
being truss'd up in a perfect wisp, which the warmth of the
room and season made me easy about the consequence of.  I
hung over him enamour'd indeed! and devoured all his naked
charms with only two eyes, when I could have wish'd them at
least a hundred, for the fuller enjoyment of the gaze.

     Oh! could I paint his figure as I see it now, still
present to my transported imagination! a whole length of an
allperfect, manly beauty in full view.  Think of a face
without a fault, glowing with all the opening bloom and
vernal freshness of an age in which beauty is of either sex,
and which the first down over his upper lip scarce began to
distinguish.

     The parting of the double ruby pout of his lips seem'd
to exhale an air sweeter and purer than what it drew in: ah!
what violence did it not cost me to refrain the so tempted
kiss!

     Then a neck exquisitely turn'd, grac'd behind and on
the sides with his hair, playing freely in natural ringlets,
connected his head to a body of the most perfect form, and
of the most vigorous contexture, in which all the strength
of manhood was conceal'd and soften'd to appearance by the
delicacy of his complexion, the smoothness of his skin, and
the plumpness of his flesh.

     The platform of his snow-white bosom, that was laid out
in a manly proportion, presented, on the vermilion summit of
each pap, the idea of a rose about to blow.

     Nor did his shirt hinder me from observing that symmetry
of his limbs, that exactness of shape, in the fall of it to-
wards the loins, where the waist ends and the rounding swell
of the hips commences; where the skin, sleek, smooth, and
dazzling white, burnishes on the stretch over firm, plump,
ripe flesh, that crimp'd and ran into dimples at the least
pressure, or that the touch could not rest upon, but slid
over as on the surface of the most polished ivory.

     His thighs, finely fashioned, and with a florid glossy
roundness, gradually tapering away to the knees, seem'd
pillars worthy to support that beauteous frame; at the
bottom of which I could not, without some remains of terror,
some tender emotions too, fix my eyes on that terrible mac-
hine, which had, not long before, with such fury broke into,
torn, and almost ruin'd those soft, tender parts of mine
that had not yet done smarting with the effects of its rage;
but behold it now! crest fall'n, reclining its half-capt
vermilion head over one of his thighs, quiet, pliant, and to
all appearance incapable of the mischiefs and cruelty it had
committed.  Then the beautiful growth of the hair, in short
and soft curls round its root, its whiteness, branch'd veins,
the supple softness of the shaft, as it lay foreshort'd,
roll'd and shrunk up into a squab thickness, languid, and
borne up from between his thighs by its globular appendage,
that wondrous treasure-bag of nature's sweets, which,
rivell'd round, and purs'd up in the only wrinkles that are
known to please, perfected the prospect, and all together
formed the most interesting moving picture in nature, and
surely infinitely superior to those nudities furnish'd by
]the painters, statuaries, or any art, which are purchas'd
at immense prices; whilst the sight of them in actual life
is scarce sovereignly tasted by any but the few whom nature
has endowed with a fire of imagination, warmly pointed by a
truth of judgment to the spring-head, the originals of
beauty, of nature's unequall'd composition, above all the
imitation of art, or the reach of wealth to pay their price.

     But every thing must have an end.  A motion made by
this angelic youth, in the listlessness of going off sleep,
replac'd his shirt and the bed-cloaths in a posture that
shut up that treasure from longer view.

     I lay down then, and carrying my hands to that part of
me in which the objects just seen had begun to raise a
mutiny that prevail'd over the smart of them, my fingers now
open'd themselves an easy passage; but long I had not time
to consider the wide difference there, between the maid and
the now finish'd woman, before Charles wak'd, and turning
towards me, kindly enquir'd how I had rested? and, scarce
giving me time to answer, imprinted on my lips one of his
burning rapture-kisses, which darted a flame to my heart,
that from thence radiated to every part of me; and present-
ly, as if he had proudly meant revenge for the survey I had
smuggled of all his naked beauties, he spurns off the bed-
cloaths, and trussing up my shift as high as it would go,
took his turn to feast his eyes on all the gifts nature had
bestow'd on my person; his busy hands, too, rang'd intemper-
ately over every part of me.  The delicious austerity and
hardness of my yet unripe budding breasts, the whiteness
and firmness of my flesh, the freshness and regularity of my
features, the harmony of my limbs, all seem'd to confirm him
in his satisfaction with his bargain; but when curious to
explore the havoc he had made in the centre of his over-
fierce attack, he not only directed his hands there, but
with a pillow put under, placed me favourably for his wanton
purpose of inspection.  Then, who can express the fire his
eyes glisten'd, his hands glow'd with! whilst sighs of plea-
sure, and tender broken exclamations, were all the praises
he could utter.  By this time his machine, stiffly risen at
me, gave me to see it in its highest state and bravery.  He
feels it himself, seems pleas'd at its condition, and, smil-
ing loves and graces, seizes one of my hands, and carries
it, with a gentle compulsion, to his pride of nature, and
its richest masterpiece.

     I, struggling faintly, could not help feeling what I
could not grasp, a column of the whitest ivory, beautifully
streak'd with blue veins, and carrying, fully uncapt, a
head of the liveliest vermilion: no horn could be harder or
stiffer; yet no velvet more smooth or delicious to the touch.
Presently he guided my hand lower, to that part in which
nature and pleasure keep their stores in concert, so aptly
fasten'd and hung on to the root of their first instrument
and minister, that not improperly he might be styl'd their
purse-bearer too: there he made me feel distinctly, through
their soft cover, the contents, a pair of roundish balls,
that seem'd to play within, and elude all pressure but the
tenderest, from without.

     But now this visit of my soft warm hand in those so
sensible parts had put every thing into such ungovernable
fury that, disdaining all further preluding, and taking ad-
vantage of my commodious posture, he made the storm fall
where I scarce patiently expected, and where he was sure to
lay it: presently, then, I felt the stiff insertion between
the yielding, divided lips of the wound, now open for life;
where the narrowness no longer put me to intolerable pain,
and afforded my lover no more difficulty than what height-
en'd his pleasure, in the strict embrace of that tender,
warm sheath, round the instrument it was so delicately ad-
justed to, and which, now cased home, so gorged me with
pleasure that it perfectly suffocated me and took away my
breath; then the killing thrusts! the unnumber'd kisses!
every one of which was a joy inexpressible; and that joy
lost in a crowd of yet greater blisses!  But this was a
disorder too violent in nature to last long: the vessels,
so stirr'd and intensely heated, soon boil'd over, and for
that time put out the fire; meanwhile all this dalliance
and disport had so far consum'd the morning, that it became
a kind of necessity to lay breakfast and dinner into one.

     In our calmer intervals Charles gave the following
account of himself, every word of which was true.  He was
the only son of a father who, having a small post in the
revenue, rather over-liv'd his income, and had given this
young gentleman a very slender education: no profession had
he bred him up to, but design'd to provide for him in the
army, by purchasing him an ensign's commission, that is to
say, provided he could raise the money, or procure it by
interest, either of which clauses was rather to be wish'd
than hoped for by him.  On no better a plan, however, had
this improvident father suffer'd this youth, a youth of
great promise, to run up to the age of manhood, or near it
at least, in next to idleness; and had, besides, taken no
sort of pains to give him even the common premonitions
against the vices of the town, and the dangers of all sorts,
which wait the unexperienc'd and unwary in it.  He liv'd at
home, and at discretion, with his father, who himself kept a
mistress; and for the rest, provided Charles did not ask him
for money, he was indolently kind to him: he might lie out
when he pleas'd; any excuse would serve, and even his repri-
mands were so slight that they carried with them rather an
air of connivance at the fault than any serious control or
constraint.  But, to supply his calls for money, Charles,
whose mother was dead, had, by her side, a grandmother who
doted upon him.  She had a considerable annuity to live on,
and very regularly parted with every shilling she could spare
to this darling of hers, to the no little heart-burn of his
father; who was vex'd, not that she by this means fed his
son's extravagance, but that she preferr'd Charles to him-
self; and we shall too soon see what a fatal turn such a
mercenary jealousy could operate in the breast of a father.

     Charles was, however, by the means of his grand-
mother's lavish fondness, very sufficiently enabled to keep
a mistress so easily contented as my love made me; and my
good fortune, for such I must ever call it, threw me in his
way, in the manner above related, just as he was on the
look-out for one.

     As to temper, the even sweetness of it made him seem
born for domestic happiness: tender, naturally polite, and
gentle-manner'd; it could never be his fault if ever jars
or animosities ruffled a calm he was so qualified in every
way to maintain or restore.  Without those great or shining
qualities that constitute a genius, or are fit to make a
noise in the world, he had all those humble ones that com-
pose the softer social merit: plain common sense, set off
with every grace of modesty and good nature, made him, if
not admir'd, what is much happier, universally belov'd and
esteem'd.  But, as nothing but the beauties of his person
had at first attracted my regard and fix'd my passion,
neither was I then a judge of that internal merit, which I
had afterward full occasion to discover, and which perhaps,
in that season of giddiness and levity, would have touch'd
my heart very little, had it been lodg'd in a person less
the delight of my eyes and idol of my senses.  But to re-
turn to our situation.

     After dinner, which we ate a-bed in a most voluptuous
disorder, Charles got up, and taking a passionate leave of
me for a few hours, he went to town where, concerting mat-
ters with a young sharp lawyer, they went together to my
late venerable mistress's, from whence I had, but the day
before, made my elopement, and with whom he was determin'd
to settle accounts in a manner that should cut off all after
reckonings from that quarter.

     Accordingly they went; but on the way, the Templar,
his friend, on thinking over Charles's information, saw
reason to give their visit another turn, and, instead of
offering satisfaction, to demand it.

     On being let in, the girls of the house flock'd round
Charles, whom they knew, and from the earliness of my
escape, and their perfect ignorance of his ever having so
much as seen me, not having the least suspicion of his
being accessory to my flight, they were, in their way,
making up to him; and as to his companion, they took him
probably for a fresh cully.  But the Templar soon check'd
their forwardness, by enquiring for the old lady, with whom,
he said, with a grave judge-like countenance, that he had
some business to settle.

     Madam was immediately sent down for, and the ladies
being desir'd to clear the room, the lawyer ask'd her,
severely, if she did know, or had not decoy'd, under pre-
tence of hiring as a servant, a young girl, just come out
of the country, called FRANCES or FANNY HILL, describing
me withal as particularly as he could from Charles's des-
cription.

     It is peculiar to vice to tremble at the enquiries of
justice; and Mrs. Brown, whose conscience was not entirely
clear upon my account, as knowing as she was of the town,
as hackney's as she was in bluffing through all the dangers
of her vocation, could not help being alarm'd at the ques-
tion, especially when he went on to talk of a Justice of
peace, Newgate, the Old Bailey, indictments for keeping a
disorderly house, pillory, carting, and the whole process
of that nature.  She, who, it is likely, imagin'd I had
lodg'd an information against her house, look'd extremely
blank, and began to make a thousand protestations and
excuses.  However, to abridge, they brought away trium-
phantly my box of things, which, had she not been under an
awe, she might have disputed with them; and not only that;
but a clearance and discharge of any demands on the house,
at the expense of no more than a bowl of arrack-punch, the
treat of which, together with the choice of the house con-
veniences, was offer'd and not accepted.  Charles all the
time acted the chance-companion of the lawyer, who had
brought him there, as he knew the house, and appear'd in
no wise interested in the issue; but he had the collateral
pleasure of hearing all that I had told him verified, so
far as the bawd's fears would give her leave to enter into
my history, which, if one may guess by the composition she
so readily came into, were not small.

     Phoebe, my kind tutoress Phoebe, was at that time gone
out, perhaps in search of me, or their cook'd-up story had
not, it is probable, pass'd so smoothly.

     This negotiation had, however, taken up some time,
which would have appear'd much longer to me, left as I was,
in a strange house, if the landlady, a motherly sort of a
woman, to whom Charles had liberally recommended me, had
not come up and borne me company.  We drank tea, and her
chat help'd to pass away the time very agreeably, since he
was our theme; but as the evening deepened, and the hour
set for his return was elaps'd, I could not dispel the
gloom of impatience and tender fears which gathered upon
me, and which our timid sex are apt to feel in proportion
to their love.

     Long, however, I did not suffer: the sight of him
over-paid me; and the soft reproach I had prepar'd for him
expired before it reach'd my lips.

     I was still a-bed, yet unable to use my legs otherwise
than awkwardly, and Charles flew to me, catched me in his
arms, rais'd and extending mine to meet his dear embrace,
and gives me an account, interrupted by many a sweet paren-
thesis of kisses, of the success of his measures.

     I could not help laughing at the fright the old woman
had been put into, which my ignorance, and indeed my want
of innocence, had far from prepar'd me for bespeaking.  She
had, it seems, apprehended that I fled for shelter to some
relation I had recollected in town, on my dislike of their
ways and proceeding towards me, and that this application
came from thence; for, as Charles had rightly judg'd not
one neighbour had, at that still hour, seen the circum-
stance of my escape into the coach, or, at least, notic'd
him; neither had any in the house the least hint or clue of
suspicion of my having spoke to him, much less of my having
clapt up such a sudden bargain with a perfect stranger:
thus the greatest improbability is not always what we
should most mistrust.

     We supped with all the gaiety of two young giddy crea-
tures at the top of their desires; and as I had most joy-
fully given up to Charles the whole charge of my future
happiness, I thought of nothing beyond the exquisite plea-
sure of possessing him.

     He came to bed in due time; and this second night,
the pain being pretty well over, I tasted, in full draughts,
all the transports of perfect enjoyment: I swam, I bathed in
bliss, till both fell fast asleep, through the natural con-
sequences of satisfied desires, and appeas'd flames; nor did
we wake but to renew'd raptures.

     Thus, making the most of love and life, did we stay in
this lodging in Chelsea about ten days; in which time Charles
took care to give his excursions from home a favourable gloss,
and to keep his footing with his fond indulgent grandmother,
from whom he drew constant and sufficient supplies for the
charge I was to him, and which was very trifling, in compari-
sion with his former less regular course of pleasures.

     Charles remov'd me then to a private ready furnish'd
lodging in D . . . street, St. James's, where he paid half
a guinea a week for two rooms and a closet on the second
floor, which he had been some time looking out for, and was
more convenient for the frequency of his visits than where
he had at first plac'd me, in a house which I cannot say but
I left with regret, as it was infinitely endear'd to me by
the first possession of my Charles, and the circumstance of
losing, there, that jewel which can never be twice lost.
The landlord, however, had no reason to complain of any
thing, but of a procedure in Charles too liberal not to make
him regret the loss of us.

     Arrived at our new lodgings, I remember I thought them
extremely fine, though ordinary enough, even at that price;
but, had it been a dungeon that Charles had brought me to,
his presence would have made it a little Versailles.

     The landlady, Mrs. Jones, waited on us to our apart-
ment, and with great volubility of tongue explain'd to us
all its conveniences--that her own maid should wait on us
. . . that the best of quality had lodg'd at her house . . .
that her first floor was let to a foreign secretary of an
embassy, and his lady . . . that I looked like a very good-
natur'd lady. . . .  At the word lady, I blush'd out of
flatter'd vanity: this was too strong for a girl of my con-
dition; for though Charles had had the precaution of dressing
me in a less tawdry flaunting style than were the cloaths I
escap'd to him in, and of passing me for his wife, that he
had secretly married, and kept private (the old story) on
account of his friends, I dare swear this appear'd extremely
apocryphal to a woman who knew the town so well as she did;
but that was the least of her concern.  It was impossible to
be less scruple-ridden than she was; and the advantage of
letting her rooms being her sole object, the truth itself
would have far from scandaliz'd her, or broke her bargain.

     A sketch of her picture, and personal history, will dis-
pose you to account for the part she is to act in my concerns.

     She was about forty-six years old, tall, meagre, red-
hair'd, with one of those trivial ordinary faces you meet
with everywhere, and go about unheeded and unmentioned.  In
her youth she had been kept by a gentleman who, dying, left
her forty pounds a year during her life, in consideration of
a daughter he had by her; which daughter, at the age of
seven-teen, she sold, for not a very considerable sum nei-
ther, to a gentleman who was going on Envoy abroad, and took
his purchase with him, where he us'd her with the utmost
tenderness, and it is thought, was secretly married to her:
but had constantly made a point of her not keeping up the
least correspondence with a mother base enough to make a
market of her own flesh and blood.  However, as she had no
nature, nor, indeed, any passion but that of money, this
gave her no further uneasiness, than, as she thereby lost a
handle of squeezing presents, or other after-advantages, out
of the bargain.  Indifferent then, by nature of constitution,
to every other pleasure but that of increasing the lump by
any means whatever, she commenc'd a kind of private procur-
ess, for which she was not amiss fitted, by her grave decent
appearance, and sometimes did a job in the match-making way;
in short, there was nothing that appear'd to her under the
shape of gain that she would not have undertaken.  She knew
most of the ways of the town, having not only herself been
upon, but kept up constant intelligences in it, dealing, be-
sides her practice in promoting a harmony between the two
sexes, in private pawn-broking and other profitable secrets.
She rented the house she liv'd in, and made the most of it
by letting it out in lodgings; though she was worth, at
least, near three or four thousand pounds, she would not
allow herself even the necessaries of life, and pinn'd her
subsistence entirely on what she could squeeze out of her
lodgers.

     When she saw such a young pair come under her roof,
her immediate notions, doubtless, were how she should make
the most money of us, by every means that money might be
made, and which, she rightly judged, our situation and
inexperience would soon beget her occasions of.

     In this hopeful sanctuary, and under the clutches of
this harpy, did we pitch our residence.  It will not be
mighty material to you, or very pleasant to me, to enter
into a detail of all the petty cut-throat ways and means
with which she used to fleece us; all which Charles indol-
ently chose to bear with, rather than take the trouble of
removing, the difference of expense being scarce attended
to by a young gentleman who had no idea of stint, or even
of economy, and a raw country girl who knew nothing of the
matter.

     Here, however, under the wings of my sovereignly
belov'd, did I flow the most delicious hours of my life;
my Charles I had, and, in him, everything my fond heart
could wish or desire.  He carried me to plays, operas,
masquerades, and every diversion of the town; all of which
pleas'd me indeed, but pleas'd me infinitely the more for
his being with me, and explaining everything to me, and
enjoying, perhaps, the natural impressions of surprize and
admiration, which such sights, at the first, never fail to
excite in a country girl, new to the delights of them; but
to me, they sensibly prov'd the power and full dominion of
the sole passion of my heart over me, a passion in which
soul and body were concentre'd, and left me no room for any
other relish of life but love.

     As to the men I saw at those places, or at any other,
they suffer'd so much in the comparison my eyes made of
them with my all-perfect Adonis, that I had not the infidel-
ity even of one wandering thought to reproach myself with
upon his account.  He was the universe to me, and all that
was not him was nothing to me.

     My love, in fine, was so excessive, that it arriv'd at
annihilating every suggestion or kindling spark of jealousy;
for, one idea only tending that way, gave me such exquisite
torment that my self-love, and dread of worse than death,
made me for ever renounce and defy it: nor had I, indeed,
occasion; for, were I to enter here on the recital of sev-
eral instances wherein Charles sacrific'd to me women of
greater importance than I dare hint (which, considering his
form, was no such wonder), I might, indeed, give you full
proof of his unshaken constancy to me; but would not you
accuse me of warming up again a feast that my vanity ought
long ago to have been satisfy'd with?

     In our cessations from active pleasure, Charles fram'd
himself one, in instructing me, as far as his own lights
reach'd, in a great many points of life that I was, in con-
sequence of my no-education, perfectly ignorant of: nor did
I suffer one word to fall in vain from the mouth of my love-
ly teacher:  I hung on every syllable he utter'd, and re-
ceiv'd as oracles, all he said; whilst kisses were all the
interruption I could not refuse myself the pleasure of ad-
mitting, from lips that breath'd more than Arabian sweetness.

     I was in a little time enabled, by the progress I had
made, to prove the deep regard I had paid to all that he
had said to me: repeating it to him almost word for word;
and to shew that I was not entirely the parrot, but that I
reflected upon, that I enter'd into it, I join'd my own
comments, and ask'd him questions of explanation.

     My country accent, and the rusticity of my gait, man-
ners, and deportment, began now sensibly to wear off, so
quick was my observation, and so efficacious my desire of
growing every day worthier of his heart.

     As to money, though he brought me constantly all he
receiv'd, it was with difficulty he even got me to give it
room in my bureau; and what clothes I had, he could prevail
on me to accept of on no other foot than that of pleasing
him by the greater neatness in my dress, beyond which I had
no ambition.  I could have made a pleasure of the greatest
toil, and worked my fingers to the bone, with joy, to have
supported him: guess, then, if I could harbour any idea of
being burdensome to him, and this disinterested turn in me
was so unaffected, so much the dictate of my heart, that
Charles could not but feel it: and if he did not love me as
I did him (which was the constant and only matter of sweet
contention between us), he manag'd so, at least, as to give
me the satisfaction of believing it impossible for man to
be more tender, more true, more faithful than he was.

     Our landlady, Mrs. Jones, came frequently up to my
apartment, from whence I never stirr'd on any pretext with-
out Charles; nor was it long before she worm'd out, without
much art, the secret of our having cheated the church of a
ceremony, and, in course, of the terms we liv'd together
upon; a circumstance which far from displeas'd her, con-
sidering the designs she had upon me, and which, alas! she
will, too soon, have room to carry into execution.  But in
the mean time, her own experience of life let her see that
any attempt, however indirect or disguis'd to divert or
break, at least presently, so strong a cement of hearts as
ours was, could only end in losing two lodgers, of whom
she made very competent advantages, if either of us came
to smoke her commission; for a commission she had from one
of her customers, either to debauch, or get me away from
my keeper at any rate.

     But the barbarity of my fate soon sav'd her the task
of disuniting us.  I had now been eleven months with this
life of my life, which had passed in one continu'd rapid
stream of delight: but nothing so violent was ever made to
last.  I was about three months gone with child by him, a
circumstance which would have added to his tenderness had
he ever left me room to believe it could receive an addi-
tion, when the mortal, the unexpected blow of separation
fell upon us.  I shall gallop post over the particulars,
which I shudder yet to think of, and cannot to this instant
reconcile myself how, or by what means, I could out-live it.

     Two life-long days had I linger'd through without
hearing from him, I who breath'd, who existed but in him,
and had never yet seen twenty-four hours pass without seeing
or hearing from him.  The third day my impatience was so
strong, my alarms had been so severe, that I perfectly
sicken'd with them; and being unable to support the shock
longer, I sunk upon the bed and ringing for Mrs. Jones, who
had far from comforted me under my anxieties, she came up.
I had scarce breath and spirit enough to find words to beg
of her, if she would save my life, to fall upon some means
of finding out, instantly, what was become of its only prop
and comfort.  She pity'd me in a way that rather sharpen'd
my affliction than suspended it, and went out upon this
commission.

     Far she had not to go: Charles's father lived but at
an easy distance, in one of the streets that run into Covent
Garden.  There she went into a publick house, and from
thence sent for a maid-servant, whose name I had given her,
as the properest to inform her.

     The maid readily came, and as readily, when Mrs. Jones
enquir'd of her what was become of Mr. Charles, or whether
he was gone out of town, acquainted her with the disposal of
her master's son, which, the very day after, was no secret
to the servants.  Such sure measures had he taken, for the
most cruel punishment of his child for having more interest
with his grandmother than he had, though he made use of a
pretense, plausible enough, to get rid of him in this secret
and abrupt manner, for fear her fondness should have inter-
pos'd a bar to his leaving England, and proceeding on a
voyage he had concerted for him; which pretext was, that it
was indispensably necessary to secure a considerable inheri-
tance that devolv'd to him by the death of a rich merchant
(his own brother) at one of the factories in the South-Seas,
of which he had lately receiv'd advice, together with a copy
of the will.

     In consequence of which resolution to send away his son,
he had, unknown to him, made the necessary preparations for
fitting him out, struck a bargain with the captain of a ship,
whose punctual execution of his orders he had secured, by his
interest with his principal owner and patron; and, in short,
concerted his measures so secretly and effectually that whilst
his son thought he was going down the river for a few hours,
he was stopt on board of a ship, debar'd from writing, and
more strictly watch'd than a State criminal.

     Thus was the idol of my soul torn from me, and forc'd on
a long voyage, without taking of one friend, or receiving one
line of comfort, except a dry explanation and instructions,
from his father, how to proceed when he should arrive at his
destin'd port, enclosing, withal, some letters of recommenda-
tion to a factor there: all these particulars I did not learn
minutely till some time after.

     The maid, at the same time, added that she was sure this
usage of her sweet young master would be the death of his
grand-mama, as indeed it prov'd true; for the old lady, on
hearing it, did not survive the news a whole month; and as
her fortune consisted in an annuity, out of which she had
laid up no reserves, she left nothing worth mentioning to her
so fatally envied darling, but absolutely refus'd to see his
father before she died.

     When Mrs. Jones return'd and I observ'd her looks, they
seem'd so unconcern'd, and even near to pleas'd, that I half
flatter'd myself she was going to set my tortur'd heart at
ease by bringing me good news; but this, indeed, was a cruel
delusion of hope: the barbarian, with all the coolness imag-
inable, stab'd me to the heart, in telling me, succinctly,
that he was sent away at least on a four years' voyage (here
she stretch'd maliciously), and that I could not expect, in
reason, ever to see him again: and all this with such pre-
nant circumstances that I could not help giving them credit,
as in general they were, indeed, too true!

     She had hardly finish'd her report before I fainted
away and after several successive fits, all the while wild
and senseless, I miscarried of the dear pledge of my
Charles's love: but the wretched never die when it is
fittest they should die, and women are hard-liv'd to a
proverb.

     The cruel and interested care taken to recover me sav'd
an odious life: which, instead of the happiness and joys it
had overflow'd in, all of a sudden presented no view before
me of any thing but the depth of misery, horror, and the
sharpest affliction.

     Thus I lay six weeks, in the struggles of youth and
constitution, against the friendly efforts of death, which I
constantly invoked to my relief and deliverance, but which
proving too weak for my wish, I recovered at length, tho'
into a state of stupefaction and despair that threatened me
with the loss of my senses, and a mad-house.

     Time, however, that great comforter in ordinary, began
to assuage the violence of my sufferings, and to numb my
feeling of them.  My health return'd to me, though I still
retain'd an air of grief, dejection, and languor, which
taking off the ruddiness of my country complexion, render'd
it rather more delicate and affecting.

     The landlady had all this while officiously provided,
and taken care that I wanted for nothing: and as soon as she
saw me retriev'd into a condition of answering her purpose,
one day, after we had dined together, she congratulated me
on my recovery, the merit of which she took entirely to her-
self, and all this by way of introduction to a most terrible
and scurvy epilogue:  "You are now," says she,  "Miss Fanny,
tolerably well, and you are very welcome to stay in the lodg-
ings as long as you please; you see I have ask'd you for
nothing this long time, but truly I have a call to make up a
sum of money, which must be answer'd."  And, with that, pre-
sents me with a bill of arrears for rent, diet, apothecary's
charges, nurse, etc., sum total twenty-three pounds, seven-
teen and six-pence: towards discharging of which, I had not
in the world (which she well knew) more than seven guineas,
left by chance, of my dear Charles's common stock with me.
At the same time, she desir'd me to tell her what course I
would take for payment.  I burst out into a flood of tears
and told her my condition; adding that I would sell what few
cloaths I had, and that, for the rest, I would pay her as
soon as possible.  But my distress, being favourable to her
views, only stiffen'd her the more.

     She told me, very coolly, that "she was indeed sorry for
my misfortunes, but that she must do herself justice, though
it would go to the very heart of her to send such a tender
young creature to prison . . ."  At the word "prison!" every
drop of my blood chill'd, and my fright acted so strongly
upon me, that, turning as pale and faint as a criminal at
the first sight of his place of execution, I was on the
point of swooning.  My landlady, who wanted only to terrify
me to a certain point, and not to throw me into a state of
body inconsistent with her designs upon it, began to soothe
me again, and told me, in a tone compos'd to more pity and
gentleness, that it would be my own fault, if she was forc'd
to proceed to such extremities; but she believ'd there was
a friend to be found in the world who would make up matters
to both our satisfactions, and that she would bring him to
drink tea with us that very afternoon, when she hoped we
would come to a right understanding in our affairs.  To all
this, not a word of answer; I sat mute, confounded, terrify'd.

     Mrs. Jones however, judging rightly that it was time to
strike while the impressions were so strong upon me, left me
to my self and to all the terrors of an imagination, wounded
to death by the idea of going to a prison, and, from a prin-
ciple of self-preservation, snatching at every glimpse of
redemption from it.

     In this situation I sat near half an hour, swallow'd up
in grief and despair, when my landlady came in, and obser-
ving a death-like dejection in my countenance and still in
pursuance of her plan, put on a false pity, and bidding me
be of a good heart:  Things, she said, would not be so bad
as I imagined if I would be but my own friend; and closed
with telling me she had brought a very honourable gentleman
to drink tea with me, who would give me the best advice how
to get rid of all my troubles.  Upon which, without waiting
for a reply, she goes out, and returns with this very hon-
ourable gentleman, whose very honourable procuress she had
been, on this as well as other occasions.

     The gentleman, on his entering the room, made me a very
civil bow, which I had scarce strength, or presence of mind
enough to return a curtsy to; when the landlady, taking upon
her to do all the honours of the first interview (for I had
never, that I remember'd, seen the gentleman before), sets a
chair for him, and another for herself.  All this while not
a word on either side; a stupid stare was all the face I
could put on this strange visit.

     The tea was made, and the landlady, unwilling, I sup-
pose, to lose any time, observing my silence and shyness
before this entire stranger:  "Come, Miss Fanny," says she,
in a coarse familiar style, and tone of authority, "hold up
your head, child, and do not let sorrow spoil that pretty
face of yours.  What! sorrows are only for a time; come, be
free, here is a worthy gentleman who has heard of your mis-
fortunes and is willing to serve you; you must be better
acquainted with him; do not you now stand upon your punc-
tilio's, and this and that, but make your market while you
may."

     At this so delicate and eloquent harangue, the gentle-
man, who saw I look'd frighted and amaz'd, and indeed, in-
capable of answering, took her up for breaking things in so
abrupt a manner, as rather to shock than incline me to an
acceptance of the good he intended me; then, addressing
himself to me, told me he was perfectly acquainted with my
whole story and every circumstance of my distress, which he
own'd was a cruel plunge for one of my youth and beauty to
fall into; that he had long taken a liking to my person,
for which he appeal'd to Mrs. Jones, there present, but
finding me so absolutely engag'd to another, he had lost all
hopes of succeeding till he had heard the sudden reverse of
fortune that had happen'd to me, on which he had given par-
ticular orders to my landlady to see that I should want for
nothing; and that, had he not been forc'd abroad to The
Hague, on affairs he could not refuse himself to, he would
himself have attended me during my sickness; that on his
return, which was but the day before, he had, on learning
my recovery, desir'd my landlady's good offices to introduce
him to me, and was as angry, at least, as I was shock'd, at
the manner in which she had conducted herself towards ob-
taining him that happiness; but, that to shew me how much he
disown'd her procedure, and how far he was from taking any
ungenerous advantage of my situation, and from exacting any
security for my gratitude, he would before my face, that
instant, discharge my debt entirely to my landlady and give
me her receipt in full; after which I should be at liberty
either to reject or grant his suit, as he was much above
putting any force upon my inclinations.

     Whilst he was exposing his sentiments to me, I ventur'd
just to look up to him, and observed his figure, which was
that of a very sightly gentleman, well made, about forty,
drest in a suit of plain cloaths, with a large diamond ring
on one of his fingers, the lustre of which play'd in my eyes
as he wav'd his hand in talking, and rais'd my notions of his
importance.  In short, he might pass for what is commonly
call'd a comely black man, with an air of distinction natural
to his birth and condition.

     To all his speeches, however, I answer'd only in tears
that flow'd plentifully to my relief, and choking up my
voice, excus'd me from speaking, very luckily, for I should
not have known what to say.

     The sight, however, mov'd him, as he afterwards told me,
irresistibly, and by way of giving me some reason to be less
powerfully afflicted, he drew out his purse, and calling for
pen and ink, which the landlady was prepar'd for, paid her
every farthing of her demand, independent of a liberal gra-
tification which was to follow unknown to me; and taking a
receipt in full, very tenderly forc'd me to secure it, by
guiding my hand, which he had thrust it into, so as to make
me passively put it into my pocket.

     Still I continued in a state of stupidity, or melan-
choly despair, as my spirits could not yet recover from the
violent shocks they had receiv'd; and the accommodating
landlady had actually left the room, and me alone with this
strange gentleman, before I observ'd it, and then I observ'd
it without alarm, for I was now lifeless and indifferent to
everything.

     The gentleman, however, no novice in affairs of this
sort, drew near me; and under the pretence of comforting me,
first with his handkerchief dried my tears as they ran down
my cheeks: presently he ventur'd to kiss me: on my part,
neither resistance nor compliance.  I sat stock-still; and
now looking on myself as bought by the payment that had been
transacted before me, I did not care what became of my
wretched body: and, wanting life, spirits, or courage to
oppose the least struggle, even that of the modesty of my
sex, I suffer'd, tamely, whatever the gentleman pleased; who
proceeding insensibly from freedom to freedom, insinuated
his hand between my handkerchief and bosom, which he handled
at discretion: finding thus no repulse, and that every thing
favour'd, beyond expectation, the completion of his desires,
he took me in his arms, and bore me, without life or motion,
to the bed, on which laying me gently down, and having me at
what advantage he pleas'd, I did not so much as know what he
was about, till recovering from a trance of lifeless insen-
sibility, I found him buried in me, whilst I lay passive and
innocent of the least sensation of pleasure: a death-cold
corpse could scarce have less life or sense in it.  As soon
as he had thus pacified a passion which had too little re-
spected the condition I was in, he got off, and after re-
composing the disorder of my cloaths, employ'd himself with
the utmost tenderness to calm the transports of remorse and
madness at myself with which I was seized, too late, I con-
fess, for having suffer'd on that bed the embraces of an
utter stranger.  I tore my hair, wrung my hands, and beat
my breast like a mad-woman.  But when my new master, for in
that light I then view'd him, applied himself to appease me,
as my whole rage was levell'd at myself, no part of which I
thought myself permitted to aim at him, I begged of him,
with more submission than anger, to leave me alone that I
might, at least, enjoy my affliction in quiet.  This he
positively refused, for fear, as he pretended, I should do
myself a mischief.

     Violent passions seldom last long, and those of women
least of any.  A dead still calm succeeded this storm, which
ended in a profuse shower of tears.

     Had any one, but a few instants before, told me that I
should have ever known any man but Charles, I would have
spit in his face; or had I been offer'd infinitely a greater
sum of money than that I saw paid for me, I had spurn'd the
proposal in cold blood.  But our virtues and our vices
depend too much on our circumstances; unexpectedly beset as
I was, betray'd by a mind weakened by a long severe afflic-
tion, and stunn'd with the terrors of a jail, my defeat
will appear the more excusable, since I certainly was not
present at, or a party in any sense, to it.  However, as the
first enjoyment is decisive, and he was now over the bar, I
thought I had no longer a right to refuse the caresses of
one that had got that advantage over me, no matter how ob-
tain'd; conforming myself then to this maxim, I consider'd
myself as so much in his power that I endur'd his kisses and
embraces without affecting struggles or anger; not that they,
as yet, gave me any pleasure, or prevail'd over the aversion
of my soul to give myself up to any sensation of that sort;
what I suffer'd, I suffer'd out of a kind of gratitude, and
as a matter of course after what had pass'd.

     He was, however, so regardful as not to attempt the re-
newal of those extremities which had thrown me, just before,
into such violent agitations; but, now secure of possession,
contented himself with bringing me to temper by degrees, and
waiting at the hand of time for those fruits of generosity
and courtship which he since often reproach'd himself with
having gather'd much too green, when, yielding to the invi-
tations of my inability to resist him, and overborne by
desires, he had wreak'd his passion on a mere lifeless,
spiritless body dead to all purposes of joy, since, taking
none, it ought to be suppos'd incapable of giving any.  This
is, however, certain; my heart never thoroughly forgave him
the manner in which I had fallen to him, although, in point
of interest, I had reason to be pleas'd that he found, in my
person, wherewithal to keep him from leaving me as easily as
he had gained me.

     The evening was, in the mean time, so far advanc'd, that
the maid came in to lay the cloth for supper, when I under-
stood, with joy, that my landlady, whose sight was present
poison to me, was not to be with us.

     Presently a neat and elegant supper was introduc'd, and
a bottle of Burgundy, with the other necessaries, were set on
a dumb-waiter.

     The maid quitting the room, the gentleman insisted, with
a tender warmth, that I should sit up in the elbow chair by
the fire, and see him eat if I could not be prevailed on to
eat myself.  I obey'd with a heart full of affliction, at the
comparison it made between those delicious tete-a-tetes with
my ever dear youth, and this forc'd situation, this new
awkward scene, impos'd and obtruded on me by cruel necessity.

     At supper, after a great many arguments used to comfort
and reconcile me to my fate, he told me that his name was
H . . . , brother to the Earl of L . . . and that having, by
the suggestions of my landlady, been led to see me, he had
found me perfectly to his taste and given her a commission
to procure me at any rate, and that he had at length suc-
ceeded, as much to his satisfaction as he passionately
wished it might be to mine; adding, withal, some flattering
assurances that I should have no cause to repent my know-
ledge of him.

     I had now got down at most half a partridge, and three
or four glasses of wine, which he compelled me to drink by
way of restoring nature; but whether there was anything ex-
traordinary put into the wine, or whether there wanted no
more to revive the natural warmth of my constitution and
give fire to the old train, I began no longer to look with
that constraint, not to say disgust, on Mr. H . . ., which
I had hitherto done; but, withal, there was not the least
grain of love mix'd with this softening of my sentiments:
any other man would have been just the same to me as Mr.
H . . ., that stood in the same circumstances and had done
for me, and with me, what he had done.

     There are not, on earth at least, eternal griefs; mine
were, if not at an end, at least suspended: my heart, which
had been so long overloaded with anguish and vexation, began
to dilate and open to the least gleam of diversion or amuse-
ment.  I wept a little, and my tears reliev'd me; I sigh'd,
and my sighs seem'd to lighten me of a load that oppress'd
me; my countenance grew, if not cheerful, at least more
compos'd and free.

     Mr. H . . ., who had watched, perhaps brought on this
change, knew too well not to seize it; he thrust the table
imperceptibly from between us, and bringing his chair to
face me, he soon began, after preparing me by all the en-
dearments of assurances and protestations, to lay hold of
my hands, to kiss me, and once more to make free with my
bosom, which, being at full liberty from the disorder of a
loose dishabille, now panted and throbb'd, less with in-
dignation than with fear and bashfulness at being used so
familiarly by still a stranger.  But he soon gave me
greater occasion to exclaim, by stooping down and slipping
his hand above my garters: thence he strove to regain the
pass, which he had before found so open, and unguarded: but
not he could not unlock the twist of my thighs; I gently
complained, and begg'd him to let me alone; told him I was
now well.  However, as he saw there was more form and cere-
mony in my resistance than good earnest, he made his condi-
tions for desisting from pursuing his point that I should
be put instantly to bed, whilst he gave certain orders to
the landlady, and that he would return in an hour, when he
hoped to find me more recondil'd to his passion for me
than I seem'd at present.  I neither assented nor deny'd,
but my air and manner of receiving this proposal gave him
to see that I did not think myself enough my own mistress
to refuse it.

     Accordingly he went out and left me, when, a minute or
two after, before I could recover myself into any composure
for thinking, the maid came in with her mistress's service,
and a small silver porringer of what she called a bridal
posset, and desir'd me to eat it as I went to bed, which
consequently I did, and felt immediately a heat, a fire run
like a hue-and-cry thro' every part of my body; I burnt,
I glow'd, and wanted even little of wishing for any man.

     The maid, as soon as I was lain down, took the candle
away, and wishing me a good night, went out of the room
and shut the door after her.

     She had hardly time to get down-stairs before Mr. H .
. . open'd my room-door softly, and came in, now undress'd
in his night-gown and cap, with two lighted wax candles,
and bolting the door, gave me, tho' I expected him, some
sort of alarm.  He came a tip-toe to the bed-side, and
said with a gentle whisper:  "Pray, my dear, do not be
startled . . . I will be very tender and kind to you."  He
then hurry'd off his cloaths, and leap'd into bed, having
given me openings enough, whilst he was stripping, to ob-
serve his brawny structure, strong-made limbs, and rough
shaggy breast.

     The bed shook again when it receiv'd this new load.
He lay on the outside, where he kept the candles burning,
no doubt for the satisfaction of ev'ry sense; for as soon
as he had kiss'd me, he rolled down the bed-cloaths, and
seemed transported with the view of all my person at full
length, which he cover'd with a profusion of kisses, spar-
ing no part of me.  Then, being on his knees between my
legs, he drew up his shirt and bared all his hairy thighs,
and stiff staring truncheon, red-topt and rooted into a
thicket of curls, which covered his belly to the navel and
gave it the air of a flesh brush; and soon I felt it join-
ing close to mine, when he had drove the nail up to the
head, and left no partition but the intermediate hair on
both sides.


                       END PART 3