Media Share 9/MEDIASHARE_09.ISO/bbsdoor/dsquot20.zip/DSQUOTE.DAT

Text File | 1993-03-02 | 7KB | 212 lines

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Never eat yellow snow.
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Everybody should believe in something...I believe I'll have another drink.
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He who stands on toilet, gets high on pot.
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A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
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Real men don't eat quiche.
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The TriBBS Bulletin Board System is becoming a household word...
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People who live in stone houses, shouldn't throw glasses.
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Never sleep with someone crazier than yourself.
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The longest distance between two points is a shortcut.
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Leakproof seals will; Self-starters will not.
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Build a machine that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
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If something doesn't fit, push harder. If it breaks it needed replacing anyway.
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When in doubt...Guess!
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There's little worse than being peerless in a peer-review system.
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When in darkness or in doubt, Run in circles, scream and shout.
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Always draw your curves then plot the readings.
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It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
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Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
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Never try to outstubborn a cat.
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Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
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I ain't broke, but I'm badly bent.
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Jargon is used as a means of succeeding by not simplifying.
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Never play leapfrog with a Unicorn.
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An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
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Bedfellows make strange politicians.
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Thoreau says...Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
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If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
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Voltaire says...Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
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An honest politician is one who, when bought, stays bought.
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You can tune a piano, but you can`t tuna fish.
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A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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He who rides on dolphin, is doing it on porpoise.
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A rolling stone gathers momentum.
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Gravity doesn't exist: the earth sucks.
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Ahhhhhhhh, I forget what I was going to say.
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Organization is the enemy of improvisation.
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On a clear disk you can seek forever.
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Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.
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Let him who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
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It works better if you plug it in.
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Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy.
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Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
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No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
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Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
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Some men are discovered; others are found out.
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That must be wonderful!  I don't understand it at all.
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Monday is a hard way to spend one-seventh of your life
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Pros are those who do their jobs well even when they don't feel like it
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Running a business is about 95% people and 5% economics.
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When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
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Variables won't; constants aren't.
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What would a chair look like...if your knees were backwards...
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Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
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When all else fails, read the documentation.
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Pee Wee Herman will rise again.
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If at fisrt you don't succeed...The hell with it!
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A fool and his money are lots of fun to go out with.
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Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him?
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A broken appliance will work perfectly when demonstrated for the repairman.
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A $300 picture tube will blow first, saving a $.10 fuse...
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Never let anything mechanical know you are in hurry.
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A bird in hand is safer than one overhead...
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You can lead a horse to water...if you don't have anything better to do.
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You can't get 10 pounds of garbage in a 9 pound bag!
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Why do you call wet dirt, mud?
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Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.
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Find your aim in life before you run out of ammunition.
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Call The Blazing Phoenix BBS -- (813) xxx-xxxx
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Call One Night Of Sin -- [phone]
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Call Freejack's Place -- Node 1: [phone]
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Call Freejack's Place -- Node 2: [phone]
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Sometimes you can complain about the food to the chef, but it seems rather
futile to kick the vending machine!
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If you can't boil water, you can't grow zucchini.
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During the summer, lots of young boys go through a great deal trying to
prove that it actually IS suntan, and NOT dirt!
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The lecture the doctor gives you on your weight is called a diatribe.
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You know your jeans are too tight, if it takes pliers to get to your
wallet.
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Make the most of the best and the least of the worst.
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Progress results when you mix persistence with purpose.
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Execute each act of your life as though it were your last, and in the end,
you will be correct.
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When it comes to obscene phone calls, it's difficult to beat a wrong number
between l and 4 A.M.
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Many joggers are simply pedestrians too fearful to walk.
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If you hide your generic food cans at the bottom of the garbage can, you
can legitimately be called a snob.
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People can travel faster than sound, yes, but not nearly so fast as rumor!
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Children solidify marriages by allowing that the parents now have someone
else to blame it on!
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A dull summer evening can be eliminated by one little ole hungry mosquito!
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The real curse of sin can be understood by imagining that you are on
an island with just one other person --- Morton Downey.
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There are so many bugs in our embassy in Moscow it is time for us to
send over a new ambassador - the Orkin man.
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One of the few safe predictions for l993.  People will die this year
that never died before.
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Three ways to get the word out and about; telegraph, telegram and tell
someone a secret.
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There is a certain inevitability to a couple of things.  Death and taxes
come to mind. However, death doesn't get worse every time the legislators
come together.
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The real erosion of civilization as we knew it started with  the popularity
of the self-service gas pump.
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He who lies down with dogs probably has a wife who keeps seven or more
cats in the bedroom.
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Fools rush in wherever lottery tickets are sold.
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When you get right down to it, it is usually something you would not have
gotten right down to if you had known beforehand what you were going to
get right down to when you got right down to it.
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When cigarettes are outlawed, only outlaws will cough.
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Remember, don't brush your teeth with gunpowder and then you won't
go around shooting off your mouth.
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