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1997-10-17
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From: rubberstampers-owner@xmission.com (rubberstampers Digest)
To: rubberstampers-digest@xmission.com
Subject: rubberstampers Digest V2 #3142
Reply-To: rubberstampers@xmission.com
Sender: rubberstampers-owner@xmission.com
Errors-To: rubberstampers-owner@xmission.com
Precedence:
rubberstampers Digest Saturday, October 18 1997 Volume 02 : Number 3142
In this issue:
RS: Received Gift Bag Swap !!!
Re: RS: Re: Just an idea! for vendors!
Re: RS:Paper Storage ideas.
Re: RS: Humor--Minnesota Ski Guide terms and definitions
PERS: Crummy day and a Blender
Re: RS: Vellum Swap Received!
RS: fall scavenger hunt received
RS: COMM--"Fit-it" template program available on diskette NOW!!!
RS: Maria G.'s Fall Hunt Package Came !!!
RS: Ad; Newbie Cardstock grab bag
RS: Maria G.'s Fall Hunt Package Came !!!
RS: COMM: UM ***Quick*** Sale!
RS: Humor: Subject: How many ___ does it take?
RS: TTPO3 group 1
RS: Roswell swap received
Fwd: RS: to the keeper of the snail list
RS: sweetest day gift
See the end of the digest for information on subscribing to the rubberstampers
or rubberstampers-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 23:17:54 -0400 (EDT)
From: StampMeMad@aol.com
Subject: RS: Received Gift Bag Swap !!!
I received my Gift Bag Swap today and they are all great bags!!
A pretty Blue Bag by Twyla Miller-
Great Vase with Flowers stamped on the bag in Black very simple and elegant -
great for a bridal party shower. What a pretty Vase Stamp!!!
A Kraft Colored gift Bag by Mona Stanke-
Kraft bag stamped with tiny red stars ( I want that stamp - who makes it ??)
A Snowman Row ( 4 snowmen in a row) stamped on each side of the bag - colored
with colored pencils the top is punched out to form a holder for twine
handles - another great bag !!!
A Gift bag by S(?) Manifold:
This bag is funny and pretty and my 6 year asked for it - its a bag turned
into a ladys dress a white bag with buttons down the front like a blouse a
bow around the middle of the bag to form a waist a piece of blue lace around
the bottom to make a skirt- the top sides are cut out to form arms - great
idea - they are stamped with a pretty lace looking border and embossed in
blue. This would be great to do a mans and womens bags for a mixed shower or
event - such a neat idea !!!
A large Kraft Bag by nameless - wish I knew who
stamped with a rose stamp embossed with Gold ep - colored red and green the
top is cut with a scallop fiskars then embosssed with a glittery white
glitter or EP ( Im new I cant tell ) then the bottom is also lined with a
sparkley gold glitter or ep-
this is all tied at the top with a raffita bow
such a pretty bag.
This swap was fun - great bags and wonderful ideas for gift bags.
Thanks Kim for hosting this one !!!!
Maria Gallagher
This message was from StampMeMad@aol.com
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------------------------------
Date: Sat, 18 Oct 1997 03:25:56 -0400 (EDT)
From: AnnelouR@aol.com
Subject: Re: RS: Re: Just an idea! for vendors!
Newbie grab bags? See Baggie! She does these! Write her at
baglady@wolfenet.com
Cheers, ex fast posto (Nan)
This message was from AnnelouR@aol.com
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 19:38:43 -0800
From: Jim & Kari <jimkari@ptialaska.net>
Subject: Re: RS:Paper Storage ideas.
Now this is a great idea! I may need to try something like this. Does
anyone sort them by any other way than color?
Kari
At 09:02 PM 10/16/97 -0700, you wrote:
>I use a milk crate looking thing called a Create a File. In it are hanging
>Pendaflex folders (you know, the ugly green ones). Into each of those I
>have each color sorted and alphabetized. All my novelty papers are under
>"N." All of my little scraps go in a drawer that is easy to pull out and
>paw through.
>
>Cheers!!!
>Christine
>
>*********** REPLY PARTITION ***********
>
>On 10/16/97, at 7:34 PM, Jim & Kari wrote:
>
>>I need some way of keeping all my exotic and decorative papers so that
>they
>>are handy when needed. All of mine sit in boxes and never get looked at
>>when I need to layer. It's too much trouble to sit and pick through
>piles.
>> How does everyone store their mulberries, wrapping papers, wallpapers,
>>background papers, velours, vellums, etc.? Any good ideas out there? I
>>don't have a lot of room but I'll make room if this paper problem can get
>>solved. I know this has been talked about before, but I really need help!
>>Kari
>>This message was from Jim & Kari <jimkari@ptialaska.net>
>>--
>>The rubberstampers mailing list is proudly sponsored by the Dueling Modems
>>Arts & Crafts Forum. Point your web browser at http://crafts.dm.net/ .
>>
>This message was from "Christine L. Cox" <gifford1@ix.netcom.com>
>--
>The rubberstampers mailing list is proudly sponsored by the Dueling Modems
>Arts & Crafts Forum. Point your web browser at http://crafts.dm.net/ .
>
>
This message was from Jim & Kari <jimkari@ptialaska.net>
- --
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Arts & Crafts Forum. Point your web browser at http://crafts.dm.net/ .
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 18 Oct 1997 03:08:16 -0400 (EDT)
From: CynXphile@AOL.com
Subject: Re: RS: Humor--Minnesota Ski Guide terms and definitions
LOLROFLMBO. My cat ran off in fright when I started reading this post.
You post so many like this you need your own RS: Subject heading to warn
us of impending laughter.
Tis the season to be sking.
Cynthia Clavey
http://members.aol.com/cyn6x9els/index.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You go walking | under the cobalt sky
And as you go you | as the moon sets the west
greet the hearts you meet | murmuring of
and walk together | inconsequentials
This message was from CynXphile@aol.com
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 22:57:48 -0500
From: iris@madbbs.com
Subject: PERS: Crummy day and a Blender
Hi all!
Yesterday I had a scare. I had an OB/GYN appointment on Tuesday and
they took some blood. Then yesterday the doctor's office called me up
and told me that my blood work came back that I was pregnant. Good news
you say? NO! I just had an IUD removed on Tuesday and if I was, it
would have been a tubal one and I would have had to have surgery. Well,
this stunk. DH and I had to go back to Erie (50 miles) this morning
straight to the lab to have stat bloodwork done and then back to the
doctor's office for a sonogram. Well, after sitting in the doctor's
office for 1-1/2 hours, we finally got in and the doctor came in and
told me that my blood work was NEGATIVE!!!! The doctor thinks that the
lab got my blood mixed up with someone elses. The girl who was ahead of
me on line at the lab the first time WAS pregnant. Her results probably
came back negative! So because of the ineptitude of the lab, 2 people
were affected. Both me & DH lost a days wages, had to drive 100 miles,
had all kinds of anxiety and mental anguish, lost sleep last night. It
totally sucked. The doctor's office is as pissed as I am. I am going
to tell the lab that I will NOT pay for either lab test and I want them
to pay for my second doctor visit and reimburse me for lost wages and
mileage. I don't know what they'll do, but I think they might
accommodate me somehow. Hey everyone makes mistakes, but mistakes made
by medical "professionals" are inexcuseable. I am VERY pissed. But
anyway, on the way home, DH stopped at the Salvation Army store and
bought me a very nice blender for $2.95!!! We are going to make some
paper this weekend. When we got home though, I got NO mail!!!!!! I'm
on a rollercoaster here! I hope tomorrow is going to be better. I have
already made plans to have a stress-free, happy day!!! NO ONE is going
to mess it up for me!!!!! Hope someone sent me some mail.... Thanks
for listening. You guys are the best!
Kate Hill aka Iris
--------------Mail from Modem Madness BBS and Internet Services--------------
This message was from iris@madbbs.com
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------------------------------
Date: Sat, 18 Oct 1997 03:32:50 EDT
From: rustydoc@juno.com (Thomas [Tom] L Lane)
Subject: Re: RS: Vellum Swap Received!
I also recieved my 1st ever swap today.
Sarah H Knight-- a fan from St. Oasis ,done in copper embossing,then
inside the fan was stamped in gold & the roses colored in yelloe, the
vellum in copper was put over top of that , Then it was finished off with
a black cording to hold the card & vellum overlay tog.
Ellie Casset -- a blue cardstock with a sunbonnet boy embossed in
silver then the vellum edges were cut with fiskars , colored underneath &
glued on top of the cardstock & a blue bow was added at the top
Lisa - a castle stamped in a white sparkle then colored underneath, an
angel & a saying Those who reach touch the stars. Then it was attached at
the top & put over lilac cardstock.
Retsbac ( I think ) 2 flower bunches ( dogwood ) colored underneath ,
embossed in silver Then the edge cut with fiskars , glued at the top , &
over a pink cardstock
Christine -- a fairy embossed in a sparkle white , colored
underneath, put over blue cardstock, hole punched on the side & put
together with a blue ribbon
Marie Gallagher -- yellow cardstock on top of that purple edged
with fiskars , then the PSX violets brightly colored & embossed in white
& a purple bow in the top right corner with a button on the center
Gloria -- a thank you note
It was great to recieve such a delightful package on a Fri. & the last
day of my week. Thanks to all!!! Sandy Lane
This message was from rustydoc@juno.com (Thomas [Tom] L Lane)
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 17:44:15 -0500
From: "John Sandahl" <jsandahl@hutchtel.net>
Subject: RS: fall scavenger hunt received
Thank you so much, whoever sent to me, this was a WONDERFUL pkg.
2 oreo's dipped in chocolate, decorated with ghosts. Cute halloween
candy/cookie
and 2 lg. choc. chip cookies. My kids wanted some, I chased them away :^)
fabric ribbon with brown and orange flowers printed on it, really pretty,
AND it was tied together with a
maroon ribbon
brown woven tapestry EP. I've been curious what this is like, NOW I can
find out
stamp with fall leaves
stamp with sunflowers
4 sheets of stickers-
fall leaves
indian corn and pumpkins
fall wreaths
suzy's zoo
mulberry sachet
4 pkgs cocoa, 2 choc. mint, choc. pecan, and choc rasberry
5 tissue paper maple leaves-green, red, and orange
floral print tissue paper and striped tissue. The colors were softly
blended from brown to orange to yellow
4 magnets turtle, jar of cheese whiz, box of rice krispies, bag of
marshmallows. These are SO cute. I love magnets!!
6 sheets maroon cardstock
burnt orange glittery paint
recipe for beef stew, printed on white, and layered on a piece of orange.
Fall leaf stickers are stuck all around the recipe.
2 sheets cardstock stamped with images,
a funny turkey that looks like a duck dressed up as an easter bunny, then
with a turkey suit on
a pumpin house with a mouse answering the door to trick or treaters. Is
this House Mouse?
a scarecrow on a fence
She used the scarecrow stamp to make a card. Stamped on white, layered on
orange, and layered on tissue paper leaves. This is all layered on a card
that is white with little fleks of fiber in it. A CUTE card!!
Thanks so much for everything, whoever you are. This was a wonderful day to
receive this. Long day driving, and I came home to the pkg. Such a treat!!
:^)
Sharon Sandahl
This message was from "John Sandahl" <jsandahl@hutchtel.net>
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 23:32:19 -0500
From: Phil Schloss <phil@red-castle.com>
Subject: RS: COMM--"Fit-it" template program available on diskette NOW!!!
COMM--"Fit-it" template program available on diskette NOW!!!
Forgot to state that the program requires Windows95.
See below for more information on the program.
The price for the diskette is $23, including shipping to
US addresses. (Others see below)
For the first 40 orders for "Fit-it" on diskette,
I will include a 2 yard package of paper rope that
will make nice handles on your first gift bags.
Email to confirm, and I will hold for 10 days until
your payment arrives.
Fit-It -- The Template creating program for everyone
Templates:
"Pillow Shaped Box" ends snap open
"Sweetheart Box" with four interlocking petals
"Triangle Box" 3 flaps that interlock
"MatchBook Package"
"Taper Box" with end flaps that open
"Flat Box" nice stationary box
"Gift Bag" makes a nice gift bag from wallpaper, etc
"Triangle Gift Bag" makes a nice gift bag for wallpaper, etc
"Petal Dish"
"Petal Dish 7 piece" for large bowls
"Tote" a miniture grocery box
"Diamond Ornament" great for the tree
"Oval/Circle Draw" draws any size oval/circle from less than 1" to
about 15"
Create templates for each one up to about 15" x 19" on standard
sheets of letter sized paper.
Items made from the templates may be sold (not the template themselves).
Specifications and Function subject to change.
Price $23 US.Funds, drawn on a US Bank, MN residents add sales tax,
and non-US address will be extra shipping.
Send check/money order to:
Red Castle, Inc.
Phil Schloss
7201 York Ave, S #712
Edina, MN 55435-4444
Thanks
Phil
- --
Phil Schloss
"FIT-IT"-It works for you! at URL--> http://www.red-castle.com
Come visit my on-line rubber stamp catalog, you will love the designs.
Or email phil@red-castle.com for address to order a paper catalog
from:
Red Castle Inc., Antiques Memories Rubber Stamps
http://www.red-castle.com/rubberstamps/rubberstamps.html
This message was from Phil Schloss <phil@red-castle.com>
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 23:05:43 -0400 (EDT)
From: StampMeMad@aol.com
Subject: RS: Maria G.'s Fall Hunt Package Came !!!
I received my Fall Package today and it was from Terry ?? Thank you Terry.
I will list the items as they are numbered on the hunt list:
1. 6 sheets(full size 8 1/2 X 11)assorted fall colored card stock:
Terry sent a package of cardstock cut to card size ( perfect for me!) of an
off white pretty cardstock
2. 1- 8 1/2 X 11 sheet glossy cardstock stamped full of your favorite fall
images:
Terry had a hard month and so she sent me real cards instead - which gave me
great Ideas for cards !!!
3. Make a card for fall using the layering technique and your favorite fall
themed stamp(S) - Terry did a very pretty Fish Card with a corragated paper
and cut out fishes - so cute !!!
4.12 fall themed stickers-
5.Halloween candy treat- She sent tons and tons of tooties Rolls - My
favorite!!!
6.Something sparkly to use to trim cards(could be glitter, sparkly ribbon,
metalic trims, etc.)- a huge tube of Glitter - first glitter I have ever
owned!!!!!
7.A copy of your favorite fall recipe.- She sent not one but 5 different
Cookie recipes!!!
8.a 1/2 ounce jar of a fall colored embossing powder:
Good old Black EP- Yes I want this I ran out on Monday and didnt want to go
to Micheals for the 6th time this week.
9.something that smells good(could be popourri, bath oil, candles, sachets,
soaps): She sent a cinninmon and spice sachte - smells great !!!
9a- A Fall Stamp- A wonderful Comotion Leaf Stamp- I keep picking it up at
Micheals and putting it back - now I have two leaf stmaps - look out fall
here I come!!!!
10.1 large sheet special printed tissue paper:
A whole package of tissue paper kinda like a confetti style - very pretty
and going to be great to use !!!
11.a card, made by you using a special technique(shaker, slider, magic,
hidden message, etc)and please include instructions onhow you did it.-
12.a magnet, made by you, using RS OR computer printer-
She sent 2 Magnets - a witch and a ghost - they are so very cute - on my
fridge as I type !!!
13.a sunflower item. Don't care what it is--silk flower, stamp, whatever:
Great Hambly Studio Stickers - Sunflowers Theme !!!
14.package of specialty coffee, tea or hot cocoa (1 cup size) to warm you up
on those cool fall evenings:
Great mocha chocolate coffee - Yummy !!!!
15. 2 yards of fall themed ribbon (paper or fabric, wired or not):
2 full spools of fall ribbon 0range and Brown.
Terry also sent me really neat Halloween Socks - great cause I just picked up
Jake and Olivia a pair each and now mom has her Own !!!!!
She also included a note saying that she was sorry that she couldnt find the
time to do the cards - I dont care !! she sent a great package and the cards
that she included are wonderful - great for my to "Copy" and to use as
samples!!!!
Thank you Terry - Hope Oct will slow down for you and Nov will be easier!!!
You are great to get a package from !!!!! :)
Hugs,
Maria Gallagher
This message was from StampMeMad@aol.com
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The rubberstampers mailing list is proudly sponsored by the Dueling Modems
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------------------------------
Date: Sat, 18 Oct 1997 01:42:27 -0600
From: in MT <grace@3rivers.net>
Subject: RS: Ad; Newbie Cardstock grab bag
Taking orders for Newbie Cardstock grab bag
5 sheets (2 colors) flecked heavy duty card stock
4 glossy post cards
7 ultra smooth Matte card stock(the yummiest ever -has a
slight sheen on it but not like glossy)
$5.00 postage included.Special ends Oct 28.
checks or money orders only .
payment must be received before shipping.
Nita in Montana :TIGHTWAD Stamper <><
"Art is that which eliminates the unecessary"-Picasso
This message was from in MT <grace@3rivers.net>
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 23:02:45 -0400 (EDT)
From: StampMeMad@aol.com
Subject: RS: Maria G.'s Fall Hunt Package Came !!!
I received my Fall Package today and it was from Terry ?? Thank you Terry.
I will list the items as they are numbered on the hunt list:
1. 6 sheets(full size 8 1/2 X 11)assorted fall colored card stock:
Terry sent a package of cardstock cut to card size ( perfect for me!) of an
off white pretty cardstock
2. 1- 8 1/2 X 11 sheet glossy cardstock stamped full of your favorite fall
images:
Terry had a hard month and so she sent me real cards instead - which gave me
great Ideas for cards !!!
3. Make a card for fall using the layering technique and your favorite fall
themed stamp(S) - Terry did a very pretty Fish Card with a corragated paper
and cut out fishes - so cute !!!
4.12 fall themed stickers-
5.Halloween candy treat- She sent tons and tons of tooties Rolls - My
favorite!!!
6.Something sparkly to use to trim cards(could be glitter, sparkly ribbon,
metalic trims, etc.)- a huge tube of Glitter - first glitter I have ever
owned!!!!!
7.A copy of your favorite fall recipe.- She sent not one but 5 different
Cookie recipes!!!
8.a 1/2 ounce jar of a fall colored embossing powder:
Good old Black EP- Yes I want this I ran out on Monday and didnt want to go
to Micheals for the 6th time this week.
9.something that smells good(could be popourri, bath oil, candles, sachets,
soaps): She sent a cinninmon and spice sachte - smells great !!!
9a- A Fall Stamp- A wonderful Comotion Leaf Stamp- I keep picking it up at
Micheals and putting it back - now I have two leaf stmaps - look out fall
here I come!!!!
10.1 large sheet special printed tissue paper:
A whole package of tissue paper kinda like a confetti style - very pretty
and going to be great to use !!!
11.a card, made by you using a special technique(shaker, slider, magic,
hidden message, etc)and please include instructions onhow you did it.-
12.a magnet, made by you, using RS OR computer printer-
She sent 2 Magnets - a witch and a ghost - they are so very cute - on my
fridge as I type !!!
13.a sunflower item. Don't care what it is--silk flower, stamp, whatever:
Great Hambly Studio Stickers - Sunflowers Theme !!!
14.package of specialty coffee, tea or hot cocoa (1 cup size) to warm you up
on those cool fall evenings:
Great mocha chocolate coffee - Yummy !!!!
15. 2 yards of fall themed ribbon (paper or fabric, wired or not):
2 full spools of fall ribbon 0range and Brown.
Terry also sent me really neat Halloween Socks - great cause I just picked up
Jake and Olivia a pair each and now mom has her Own !!!!!
She also included a note saying that she was sorry that she couldnt find the
time to do the cards - I dont care !! she sent a great package and the cards
that she included are wonderful - great for my to "Copy" and to use as
samples!!!!
Thank you Terry - Hope Oct will slow down for you and Nov will be easier!!!
You are great to get a package from !!!!! :)
Hugs,
Maria Gallagher
This message was from StampMeMad@aol.com
- --
The rubberstampers mailing list is proudly sponsored by the Dueling Modems
Arts & Crafts Forum. Point your web browser at http://crafts.dm.net/ .
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 15:09:08 -0700
From: ":-D awn" <sunrise@wolfenet.com>
Subject: RS: COMM: UM ***Quick*** Sale!
Get out those credit cards (or borrow one!) :) This sale is first come,
first serve for PAID orders!
These are all Rubbernecker UM's. I've listed Retail Price (RP) and
Sales Price so you can see what a great deal this is!
AA: RP=1.25 SALE= .25 (These would make great charms for pins!)
972 pie slice
978 drumstick
974 hamburger
964 cake
968 pizza
976 sausage
966 steak
1166 angel
1168 mouse
1162 reindeer
Pin Sets: RP=8.00 SALE=3.50
1292 tea
1372 garden/flower cart
1160 Christmas
1262 barn
1272 country
1382 Party Bear
1482 Ark
E: RP=2.50 SALE= 1.00
786 Congratulations
650 sm fishbowl
1150 Merry Christmas
1156 happy holidays
959 Have a cool yule
782 Especially for you
F: RP=2.75 SALE= 1.15
230 Herd it was your birthday
1116 You're so special
1106 You're a peach!
G: RP=3.00 SALE= 1.45
1016 Party!
956 sleeping ant
960 crawling ant
1126 Isn't Life Sweet?
1124 Just Another Day in Paradise
1110 Happy Mother's day
1120 What's Cookin?
1142 From the kitchen of
1140 You Brighten My Day
1130 Happy Mother's Day
1138 Spring has sprung
658 hope your day is filled with magic
1114 Home Tweet HOme
1132 Take time for yourself
841 sm. snowman
1410 seasons greetings
532 Peace on Earth
1136 You are in my thoughts
658 Hope your day is filled with magic
H: RP=3.25 SALE= 1.50
746 Have a tail wagging day
748 I knew you were special when I spotted you!
738 Hope your day is dog-gone good
534 Good friends are the brassring in the carousel of life
774 Just for you
I: RP=3.50 SALE= 1.70
754 Dalmation w/ daisy
742 Dalmation howling
1148 Joy
538 A friend is someone who knows all about you, but loves you anyway
(this is cut funny. I don't think it will affect the stamping. But
just in case, it's only $.75)
538 A friend is someone who knows all about you, but loves you anyway
950 ants w/ apple
936 ants w/ choc. kiss
942 ant w/ bagel
948 ant w/ cake
946 Life's a picnic
752 Dalmation, walking
756 Dalmation w/ bone
750 Dalmation w/ basket
J: RP=3.75 SALE= 1.80
178 Merry Christmas
K: RP=4.00 SALE= 2.00
262 poinsettia
1198 oriental fan
568 dreamcatcher
1146 gingerbread man
1158 country angel
597 Christmas mouse
L: RP=4.25 SALE= 2.10
1154 lg snowman
892 Alex angel
894 Alexis angel
844 ornament #5
M: RP=4.50 SALE= 2.25
422 roses
1230 Halloween Candy Bar Wrapper
839 Snowglobe
1078 Happy Birthday Candy Bar Wrapper
P: RP=5.25 SALE= 2.50
1208 Birthday Frame
1144 Chrismtas Quilt Frame
Q: RP=6.00 SALE= 2.90
1254 Harvest Scenevelope
1260 Snowman Scenevelope
484 lg fish bowl
740 doghouse
940 picnic basket
1236 spring Scenevelope
970 ant frame
896 Christmas frame
Mastercard, Visa, Discover, Bravo, Novus (basically everything except
American Express) cards accepted. Please email me with your order, and
call me at (800) 450-2289 or (425) 391-6697 with your cc info.
I'm ready to ship! Happy shopping!
- --
:-D awn
Golden Sunrise Enterprises
200 Mtn Pk Bv SW
Suite A101
Issaquah WA 98027
sunrise@wolfenet.com
http://members.tripod.com/~Sunrise/
This message was from ":-D awn" <sunrise@wolfenet.com>
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 22:54:46 -0500
From: Phil Schloss <phil@red-castle.com>
Subject: RS: Humor: Subject: How many ___ does it take?
Subject: How many ___ does it take?
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the
experience.
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four more to chase off the
Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: None of your damn business!
A2: 50. 50? Yeah, 50! It's in the contract.
Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.
Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, One to write the
light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb
administrator to make sure that nobody else tries to change the bulb at
the same time.
Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light
bulb?
A: Both of them.
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to change the bulb and one not to change it. Note: 1 to
change and 1 not to change is fake Zen. The true Zen answer is four.
One
to change the bulb.
Q: How many Carl Sagans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Billions and billions.
Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good
the old light bulb was.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: One to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with
brightly colored machine tools.
Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation
specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
Q: How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number to dial
one
of their subordinates to actually change it.
Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-001,
Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the
pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the
definitions are of the form "A ------" consists of sequences of
non-blank
characters separated by blanks".
Q: How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first
one.
Q: How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in, and the other to say "Fabulous!"
Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to change the bulb, one to witness, and the third to shoot
the witness.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a hardware problem.
Q: How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light
bulb?
A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment
of license fee.
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it
done.
Q: How many "Real Men" does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. "Real Men" aren't afraid of the dark.
A2: None of your damn business!
Q: How many "Real Women" does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. A "Real Woman" would have plenty of real men around to do it.
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. ("That's all right... I'll just sit here in the dark...")
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. (Hint: they are small enough to fit inside)
Q: How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
Q: How many Generals/Politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,000,001: One to change the bulb, and 1,000,000 to rebuild
civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
Q: How many med students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from
under him.
Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three, but they're really one.
Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!
Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
Q: How many supply-side economists does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw
itself in.
Q: How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It turned itself in.
Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty-one: One to install the new bulb, and fifty to figure what to
do
with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it
is
than with a man.
Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There never *was* any light bulb.
Q: How many federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Sorry, that item was cut from the budget!
Q: How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One-third less than for a regular bulb.
Q: How many Jewish-American Princesses does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
A: Two: One to get a Tab, and one to call Daddy.
Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What kind of answer did you have in mind?
Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: One to change the bulb, and the other to assume the ladder.
Q: How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 45: One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a
surprising twist at the end.
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself
symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a
netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of
nothingness.
Q: How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Who says it's dark?
Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.
Q: How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 50: One to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him.
Q: How many members of the Impossible Missions Force does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: Five: While Cinnamon creates a diversion by wearing a skimpy dress, I
use a tiny narcotic dart to knock out the fascist dictator and remove
his
body. Rollin, wearing a plastic mask, masquerades as the dictator long
enough for Barney to sneak up to the next floor, drill a hole down into
the light fixture, remove the burned-out bulb, and replace it with a new
super-high wattage model of his own design. Meanwhile, Willie has
driven
up to the door in a laundry truck. Just before Rollin's real identity is
revealed, we escape to the laundry truck, drive to the airfield, and
return to the United States.
Q: How many technical writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do
it.
Q: How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a
light bulb?
A: Many hands make light work.
Q: How many Harvard students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds the light bulb and the universe revolves around
him.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fish.
- --
Phil Schloss
"FIT-IT"-It works for you! at URL--> http://www.red-castle.com
Come visit my on-line rubber stamp catalog, you will love the designs.
Or email phil@red-castle.com for address to order a paper catalog
from:
Red Castle Inc., Antiques Memories Rubber Stamps
http://www.red-castle.com/rubberstamps/rubberstamps.html
This message was from Phil Schloss <phil@red-castle.com>
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The rubberstampers mailing list is proudly sponsored by the Dueling Modems
Arts & Crafts Forum. Point your web browser at http://crafts.dm.net/ .
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 22:52:18 -0700
From: merideestamps@juno.com (Meridee! Weilert)
Subject: RS: TTPO3 group 1
I got mine from Ellie today! All I can say is, well, Storm is my fav.
And this is something I'll really use! Thanks!
Daisies,
Meridee
merideestamps@juno.com I sell Stamping Sensations, HALOS, and PSX!
On Sat, 18 Oct 1997 00:08:47 -0400 (EDT) Silkk555@aol.com writes:
>In a message dated 97-10-17 21:32:55 EDT, jhonedickson@juno.com
>writes:
>
><<
> Watch out! Your stuff went in the mail today!
>
> >>
>Mine all went out yesterday!! Watch for mine too!!
>--Ellie
>
This message was from merideestamps@juno.com (Meridee! Weilert)
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------------------------------
Date: Sat, 18 Oct 1997 01:31:10 -0400 (EDT)
From: FranRShaw@aol.com
Subject: RS: Roswell swap received
Thank you Mark for hosting this neat swap!
From Kincher: I WANT THESE STAMPS!!! she used the new Stampscapes cracked
earth and a big hand coming out of the ground. little aliens are running all
around, and spaceships in the sky. "Greetings from the Nevada Test Site" and
a Roswell, New Mexico sign are amongst the great images on this card.
From Cathy Evans: I would call this card "Build An Alien" A cute
combination of different alien mouths, noses and eyes... very funny!!
From Shannon Greene: I always love Shannon's cards and this one is no
exception! Lovely space lady strolling on the moon's surface. A couple of
weird plants (a la little shop of horrors) are looking at her, hungrily, as a
spaceship flies over head.
From Elizabeth (the rubber goddess): LOL!!! More stamps I want... and what
a great card!!! Newspaper clipping of the Roswell incident, and 3 aliens in
a space ship landing in a field of sunflowers. One alien says "Sorvik, I
told you to ask for directions!"
From Mark: On black cardstock... cool background. Looks like he sprinkled
white EP ever so carefully to create a nebula effect. Funny stars with
smiles on their faces in the sky!! Big smiley moon looks down on this
little guy piloting the spaceship. Too cute, Mark!
and finally... From Latex Linnie: The ultamate collage!! A wonderful work
of art!! Lots of clippings of X-Files, "Alien Month", UFO pictures, alien
faces, and some cut out spaceships mounted all together. A little gray
smooshy alien toy is glued on the bottom of the card. I love this collage!!
- -Fran the Frantic Stamper :-@
- ------------------------------------
For great paper deals, check:
http://www.angelfire.com/biz/franticstamp
This message was from FranRShaw@aol.com
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 1997 17:06:58 -0400 (EDT)
From: Kalaninui@aol.com
Subject: Fwd: RS: to the keeper of the snail list
In a message dated 97-10-17 16:58:16 EDT, ajlum@juno.com (Andrea J Lum)
writes:
<<
How can I get the list and how can I get on the list?? Thanks,
Andrea
This message was from ajlum@juno.com (Andrea J Lum)
- >>
I'd like to get the list too..
Mahalo,
Zoey
- ---------------------
Forwarded message:
From: ajlum@juno.com (Andrea J Lum)
Sender: owner-rubberstampers@aloha.webkahuna.com
To: rubberstampers@crafts.dm.net
Date: 97-10-17 16:58:16 EDT
How can I get the list and how can I get on the list?? Thanks,
Andrea
This message was from ajlum@juno.com (Andrea J Lum)
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Arts & Crafts Forum. Point your web browser at http://crafts.dm.net/ .
This message was from Kalaninui@aol.com
- --
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------------------------------
Date: Sat, 18 Oct 1997 03:32:10 -0700
From: "Dave/Linda V. " <whistles@tir.com>
Subject: RS: sweetest day gift
hubby surprised me today with a literary cabinet from sam's for sweetest
day. 24 section's each will hold a ream of card stock. it's in oak so will
match my desk. he's soooooooooooooo sweet. linda verdier
This message was from "Dave/Linda V. " <whistles@tir.com>
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------------------------------
End of rubberstampers Digest V2 #3142
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