ItÆs the MovieJuice! Mini-movie spectacular everybodyÆs talking about. A young crew of filmmakers gets lostàin the ôhappiest place on Earth!ö
Thanks this week to Dan Myrick, who co-directed The Blair Witch project, and his girlfriend for their praise of my little tribute. I appreciate it! Also thanks to Broadcast.com/Yahoo, which is about to start streaming the video, due to the incredible demand and interest it has received.
If anyone would like to volunteer their server to host the bandwidth-hogging Quicktime version, email me at mramsey@moviejuice.com and let me know.
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THE SIXTH SENSE û DIE HARD
by Mark Ramsey
<a href="http://www.moviejuice.com/1999/sixthsense.htm">Click here for the full review!</a>
http://www.moviejuice.com/1999/sixthsense.htm
August 8, 1999
Whoever calls these the "dog days" of summer is barking up the wrong tree when it comes to what's at the movies, because The Sixth Sense is one fine mutt!
Everyone's familiar with the five senses:
- - Smell - This is the sense that tells you Mickey Rourke is in the house.
- - Touch - The temptation to do this is what makes Patricia Arquette a star
- - Hearing - Being forced to do this is what keeps Patricia Arquette from becoming a bigger star
- - Sight - This is what you have if you're on the Web
- - Taste - This sense is virtually irrelevant, since it's in impossibly short supply in Hollywood.
The sixth sense, of course, is the one that tells you Winona Ryder will never know your name no matter how many times you mention her in MovieJuice.
As the movie opens, Mrs. Bruce Willis is doting on her husband, reading his award citation aloud, fiddling with what's left of his hair, searching for a lost shaker of salt.
But the trouble starts when a very upset guy in jockeys who's seen one too many X-Files episodes breaks into Bruce's home in ritzy downtown Philadelphia. Either it's Quentin Tarantino off his meds and out of ideas or a mentally disturbed former patient of shrink-man Bruce.
After a life-altering trauma, Bruce takes on a new project - a boy who says he sees dead people. "Like Demi?" Bruce asks. "No, like Geena Davis," says the boy.
Dead folks, you see, don't know they're dead - much like Buddy Ebson or the musical Cats. They're just walking around amidst the living, hoping for some long deserved credit from the Writer's Guild, a brief marriage to Shannon Doherty, a topless peek at Sarah Jessica Parker, or a guest shot on Touched by an Angel. If you look very hard, you can see them tugging at Jack Valenti's shirtsleeves: "Join us, Jack! We're rated 'R' for 'Return with us to the fiery depths of Hell, where we can thrust into pies as many times as we like and with complete impunity.'"
The spooks congregate in Philly because a good cheesesteak is tough to come by in the afterlife. Furthermore, even Big Apple spooks are terrified by whiplash inducing New York taxi rides and out-of-body "buckle up" exhortations of Jackie Mason and Joan Rivers. "Pull over, Mohammad. Now!"
Boy oh boy this flick makes Philly look creepy, although any town that erects a Rocky statue outside its museum of art doesn't need the help, if you ask me.
The boy with the sixth sense lives in South Philly, or more specifically the fictional part of South Philly where people don't have South Philly accents, instead sounding fresh from a stint at Julliard and some course-work at the Yale School of Drama.
There are so many dead folks in this flick, it's like a day with Turner Classic Movies. And most of the dead folks look like they're about to gobble brains and intestines for George Romero. "Brains!!! I want brains!!!" Is there a Marilyn Manson show in town? Was this casting call limited to Rose McGowan's little black book? Is Fairuza Balk trolling for boy-toys? Isn't that witty one Janeane Garofalo? Email dysfunctional@cKone.com.
All credit to Bruce Willis whose hair-raising performance is ironic, given that his own hair couldn't see a raise if he shampooed with iron filings and towel-dried with a high-powered magnet.
Bruce is dynamite in a nicely modulated performance that belies the fact that I don't know what a "nicely modulated" performance is. The scene where Bruce conducted a sΘance and spoke to the ghost of his missing hair and the "demonic comb from Hell" was particularly chilling.
The Sixth Sense is one creepily clever concoction with a capper twistier than a Philly soft pretzel. In case you miss Boo Berry and Count Chocula, have a taste of The Sixth Sense.
Copyright 1999 Mark Ramsey. All rights reserved. NO PORTION MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR.
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DONÆT FORGET TO VISIT MOVIEJUICE.COM!
Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes more than half the laughs)!
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