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Date: Mon, 15 Mar 1999 15:12:02 -0700
From: "The Reporter" <gregorys@xmission.com>
Subject: [MV] Movie News - 03/15/99
Tom Cruise has adopted a hands-off attitude toward his
upcoming R-rated "Eyes Wide Shut," which was directed by
Stanley Kubrick, who died at age 70 last week. Cruise
has vowed to keep the studio, Warner Bros., from making
any attempt to fine-tune the $65 million psychosexual
thriller into something more commercial than Kubrick had
intended. The director presented the studio with a final
cut the very week before he died. Cruise said any tampering
with the film (which co-stars his wife, Nicole Kidman)
will be done over his dead body. "If anyone tries to do
it, they've got to get through me," the star told Newsweek.
"There's no way that's going to happen. It's our movie,
it's Stanley's movie, and no one's going to touch it."
-=> * <=-
In other news involving Cruise, tabloid photographer Eric
Ford, 27, faces a fine of $20,000 and a year in prison for
taping a cell phone conversation between Cruise and Nicole
Kidman. Ford pleaded guilty in a Los Angeles courtroom
Friday to wiretapping, a federal crime. (It was a plea
bargain. Ford could have faced up to 15 years in prison if
convicted at trial.) Sentencing is scheduled for May 17.
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------------------------------
Date: Mon, 15 Mar 1999 23:20:50 -0800
From: "Jason Cormier" <movieman@netcom.ca>
Subject: [MV] Corruptor review
I won't waste too much of your time unlike what this movie did for me.
Pretty sub-standard fare that left me feeling corrupted. Nothing here you
haven't seen before - although there is one pretty decent action sequence
involving a car and another can chasing that first car. Pretty crazy.
Fail.
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 07:54:52 -0500 (EST)
From: maillist@moviejuice.com
Subject: [MV] MovieJuice! - EDtv - Dead Ed
In this special pre-Oscar edition of MovieJuice! check out the Oscar awards wish-list. But first, we channel-change all over EDtv.
********************
EDtv - DEAD ED
by Mark Ramsey
http://www.moviejuice.com
March 14, 1999
EDtv? Where's the talking horse? Where the Hell's the talking horse?
"I got a dream," says Matt McConaughey in EDtv, "I just don't know what it is yet." Well, Martin Luther King, he ain't. And that makes him perfect for his own 24-hour-a-day TV show! If this theme sounds familiar, I'm sure it's just a coincidence!
Ellen DeGeneres is the TV exec with the brilliant idea for "all Ed all the time." She has a passion for boobs on the tube. No, I don't mean "Skinemax," I mean Matt McConaughey!
In fact, George Plimpton calls Ed's show "a joyous celebration of boobery," much like a writer playing football with the Detroit Lions. Except no writer would ever be that much of a boob.
Says Ellen's boss, Rob Reiner, "She's gonna be strapped to a scud missile if this idea doesn't work." Sorry to break the news, Rob, but something tells me Ellen's been strapping on scuds for years. And judging by the company she keeps, her aim is true!
Ellen sports an unending stream of bedroom appliances. No, I'm not thinking what you're thinking. I'm talking about face mud, masks, bathing caps. It's either supposed to improve her looks or offer up a cheap laugh. Unfortunately, Ellen, to erase lines that size you're gonna need a digital workstation and shitloads of RAM or maybe a chisel and a good solid hammer. My advice: More clinic, less Clinique. Skip Retin-A, go straight to Retin-Z or, if possible, Retin-to-sender.
So folks start tuning in all the time to watch Matt. In theory it makes sense. Matt loves to watch himself, why wouldn't we? What's so new about long stretches of nothing happening? Charles Grodin's been doing it for years. It's like The Thin Red Line as a weekly series.
EDtv is brought to you by the same Ron Howard hit machine that produced flicks like Parenthood, Splash, and Night Shift, the movie that made Shelley Long the star she is today. Here is a film that answers the burning question, "What are the writers of Laverne and Shirley doing now?" Plus, it's from Universal, where the motto is:
"If it worked before,
it'll work for sure!
It'd better work or
they'll show us the door!"
and the alternate motto is:
"a hundred years of movies and pretty much nothing to show for it"
I don't know about you, but I'll take any opportunity to sponge up the work of alternate universe stud-muffin and gifted actor (oh, and Ron's brother) Clint Howard. Here, Clint's romantically entangled with his hair-plugs which misbehave like dozens of tiny tarantulas crawling over his scalp, simulating a stiff breeze. Clint should have chosen brother Ron's route: Wear a hat. Nowadays, any guy in a hat might as well build a huge McDonald's-style Golden Arch of Thinning Hair over his head: "Over 100 Billion Lost."
Seeing Clint on the big screen tells you one of three things:
1. This is a Ron Howard Movie
2. Somebody owes Ron Howard a big favor
3. It's time for a sequel to Carnosaur
Half the cast is in this movie just to watch TV, and damn if they don't pull that off! Of special note is the wonderful Jenna Elfman. She hates being in boyfriend Matt's spotlight; all that nasty, intrusive celebrity stuff. "I don't want to be on TV any more!" shrieks Jenna. That from a woman who, in real life, devours celebrity the way tomatoes eat Miracle Gro. Just say the words "awards show" and Jenna will be ringing your doorbell in a gown by Vera and jewels borrowed from Harry. Try it. Right now.
See?
I'd like to tell you all about Liz Hurley, but her first appearance came after the film literally burned up in the projection room. Jeez, that blank white screen sure lasts for a long time! Is this part of the movie? I thought The Ice Storm was already on video?
Up popped Ron Howard in the nick of time. With all the gusto of Indiana Jones, Director Ron grabbed a hanging vine and, swinging like a starlet from a producer's arm, lunged through that mysterious little opening in the back of the theater. In a flash Ron unspooled some trusty duct tape to repair the picture. Unfortunately, film ashes don't mend.
The result, sadly, was featurus interruptus. But not before my mind was made up. Who needs to see the whole movie to make up your mind? Isn't that why God and David O. Selznick invented the trailer? You don't think the Academy members sit through all those foreign films before bestowing awards, do you? Too much title-reading. Generally, Academy members don't like to read unless they or the concept are high.
Finally, I'm proud to say this is the only review of EDtv you'll ever read which doesn't make reference to the vastly superior The Truman Show (Oh, crap. I spoiled it).
Been there, dumb, that. This sure ain't my idea of Good Ed.
Copyright 1999 Mark Ramsey. All rights reserved. NO PORTION MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR.
********************
MOVIEJUICE'S OSCAR WISH-LIST
As Larry King would say, here's my 2 cents:
- - Best Picture: Saving Private Ryan (Shakespeare's a great movie, but it's a writer's movie; Ryan, meanwhile, packs the wallop of an emotional artillery shell). On Monday, they'll all say this was a no-brainer.
- - Best Director: Steven Spielberg (no if's, and's or but's)
- - Best Actress: Cate Blanchett (but I guarantee you Gwyneth's acceptance speech would be more fun to watch. Gwyn is the Grace Kelly of 1999)
- - Best Actor: Although I'm partial to Ian McKellen, I double-guarantee you Roberto Benigni's acceptance speech would be A LOT more fun to watch; if he wins I won't be one bit disappointed
- - Best Supporting Actress: Judi Dench (Only a few lines, but my what lines)
- - Best Supporting Actor: Billy Bob Thornton (a miraculous chameleon)
- - Foreign Language Film: Life is Beautiful (if you haven't seen this yet, see it NOW)
- - Screenplay-Adaptation: Gods and Monsters (unlikely to win, but deserves an honor)
- - Screenplay-Original: Shakespeare in Love (an absolute lock)
- - Best Blacklister: Elia Kazan
********************
SEE THE STAR WARS PARODY TRAILER!
It's our tribute to the folks at Lucasfilm and the phenomenon of Star Wars. See it NOW at http://www.moviejuice.com. And spread the word!
********************
DONÆT FORGET TO VISIT MOVIEJUICE.COM!
Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes more than half the laughs)!
********************
TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS LIST:
DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL! Just go to http://www.moviejuice.com and follow the directions at the top of the left frame. It's very easy. NOTE: YOUR NAME CANNOT BE REMOVED FROM THE LIST UNLESS YOU UNSUBSCRIBE USING THE EMAIL ADDRESS YOU REGISTERED WITH). And don't write me lots of mean-spirited crap. I won't read it.
********************
IF YOUR LINES AREN'T WRAPPINGà
Your browser and/or email client (why DO they call it that?) has a setting called "Wrap Long Lines." Select it!
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 07:30:07 -0700 (MST)
From: Maher Khadeeja <maher@bvsd.k12.co.us>
Subject: Re: [MV] unsubscribe
Unsubscribed
On Mon, 15 Mar 1999 CarsonM@meredith.edu wrote:
>
>
> unsubscribe
>
> [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
> [ movies" (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
>
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 09:43:53 EST
From: OldNavyHat@aol.com
Subject: Re: [MV] unsubscribe
In a message dated 3/16/99 8:31:44 AM Central Standard Time,
maher@bvsd.k12.co.us writes:
<<
>
> unsubscribe
>
> [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
> [ movies" (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
> >>
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 07:40:20 -0800
From: "Roman G" <romang@mailcity.com>
Subject: [MV] Titanic parody
- --
Date: Wed, 10 Mar 1999 11:56:22 -0800 (PST)
From: Christina Stanley <cristina@blarg.net>
Subject: Re: [MV] I am back
On Wed, 10 Mar 1999, Roman G wrote:
> A few days ago I promised to send you some
> Titanic jokes and info on T3. Unfortunately,
> I have been busy with other stuff. I will do so
> as soon as possible.
>>Um, hopefully it's not that Titanic script parody that's been circulating
on the Internet for over a year. I've received that more times than I can
count, both on various mailing lists and from friends that thought I would
get a kick out of it. <<
- --yes, its that one. I think its pretty funny.
Just becaue you read it doenst mean others dont want to. If the people here
want to read it let me know.
Get your FREE Email at http://mailcity.lycos.com
Get your PERSONALIZED START PAGE at http://personal.lycos.com
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 07:30:07 -0700 (MST)
From: Maher Khadeeja <maher@bvsd.k12.co.us>
Subject: Re: [MV] unsubscribe
Unsubscribed
On Mon, 15 Mar 1999 CarsonM@meredith.edu wrote:
>
>
> unsubscribe
>
> [ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
> [ movies" (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
>
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 17:18:50 CET
From: "Ralph Essers" <rrdtbsop@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: [MV] Titanic parody
I would really like to read the Titanic script parody as I haven't read
it yet. Thanks already!
>From: "Roman G" <romang@mailcity.com>
>Reply-To: movies@lists.xmission.com
>To: movies-digest@lists.xmission.com
>Subject: [MV] Titanic parody
>Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 07:40:20 -0800
>
>
>--
>
>Date: Wed, 10 Mar 1999 11:56:22 -0800 (PST)
>From: Christina Stanley <cristina@blarg.net>
>Subject: Re: [MV] I am back
>
>On Wed, 10 Mar 1999, Roman G wrote:
>
>> A few days ago I promised to send you some
>> Titanic jokes and info on T3. Unfortunately,
>> I have been busy with other stuff. I will do so
>> as soon as possible.
>
>>>Um, hopefully it's not that Titanic script parody that's been
circulating
>on the Internet for over a year. I've received that more times than I
can
>count, both on various mailing lists and from friends that thought I
would
>get a kick out of it. <<
>
>--yes, its that one. I think its pretty funny.
>Just becaue you read it doenst mean others dont want to. If the people
here
>want to read it let me know.
>
>
>
>
>
>Get your FREE Email at http://mailcity.lycos.com
>Get your PERSONALIZED START PAGE at http://personal.lycos.com
>
>[ To leave the movies mailing list, send the message "unsubscribe ]
>[ movies" (without the quotes) to majordomo@xmission.com ]
>
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 13:07:55 -0600 (CST)
From: Christi Eilleen Falk <umfalkce@cc.UManitoba.CA>
Subject: [MV] Unsubscribers
Where is everyone going? Why are you all unsubscribing? Is there anyone out
there?
Next tuesday, I plan on finding myself in the theatre. Any suggestions(InDreams
is a definate no)
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 14:26:34 -0500
From: Tara Grant <tgrant@cdnfilmcentre.com>
Subject: RE: [MV] Unsubscribers
- ------ =_NextPart_000_01BE6FB8.FF4DB1A0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
suggestions from me include:
RUSHMORE
SUCH A LONG JOURNEY
AFFLICTION
GODS AND MONSTERS
In that order too!!!! Have fun they are all marvelous films.
tara
- -----Original Message-----
From: Christi Eilleen Falk [SMTP:umfalkce@cc.UManitoba.CA]
Sent: Tuesday, March 16, 1999 2:08 PM
To: movies@lists.xmission.com
Subject: [MV] Unsubscribers
Where is everyone going? Why are you all unsubscribing? Is there anyone out
there?
Next tuesday, I plan on finding myself in the theatre. Any suggestions(InDreams
is a definate no)
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