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Date: Sun, 17 Jan 1999 11:29:34 -0500 (EST)
From: maillist@moviejuice.com
Subject: [MV] MovieJuice! - THE THIN RED LINE - Patton Pending
THE THIN RED LINE - PATTON PENDING
by Mark Ramsey
http://www.moviejuice.com
January 17, 1999
Have you heard the news? According to NBC's new programming honcho Scott Sassa, there'll be less sex on NBC from now on. Thus, announced Sassa, Friends will be renamed Just Friends, Suddenly Susan will now be known as Suddenly Chaste Susan, and the world-famous NBC Peacock will now become the NBC Peahandshake.
Meanwhile at the Cineplex, The Thin Red Line is finally opening wide. Bring on the film school field trips, kids! Funky glasses and Indie 'tudes available at the door. Join the vets, war buffs, and their exceedingly reluctant spouses as the spoils of war spoil your evening big time.
This is the prettiest war I've ever seen! Who produced this flick, National Geographic? Should I enlist or call my travel agent? Is this The Discovery Channel Red Line? Does there exist a critter this camera doesn't love?
There are so many star cameos in this flick, Fox should have stuffed them all into a jar so the audience could guess the count and win a prize. There's Nick Nolte who, having survived Streisand, can certainly survive WWII. There's Woody Harrelson, fresh from the hard-fought Battle of Hemp Hill. There's even a brief turn by chief Japanese propagandist Tokyo Rosie O'Donnell. All these stars and not one Baldwin! Talk about defying the odds!
The Thin Red Line follows the exploits of Charlie Company which is comprised of several offshoots: There's "Charlie Rose Company," skilled in talking the enemy to death, "Charles Nelson Reilly Company" which is ideal for reconnaissance and surveillance missions because it's "lightest in the loafers," and "Charlize Theron Company," which - needless to say - is the company all men want to be in.
If you insist on seeing this movie, stock up on provisions. Panzer attack the snack counter for surplus rations and bring reinforcements if at all possible. In my theater, the audience was deploying jujubes like grenades to the sounds of exploding popping corn, the aisles thick with the blood of Coke syrup. "Incoming!" yelled an audience recruit as a latecomer entered the theater. He was soon to retreat, however, following a barrage of neo-poetic innuendo, spiritual smoke-blowing, and metaphysical naval-pondering. Where's a foxhole when you need one?
I don't know about you, but the only thin red line I see here is the one separating my body from the exit. Who knew that WWII contained so little fighting and so much narration?
I was deep into this flick before I realized something important: There's no story here! I mean none! This is nearly three hours of random action, if "action" is what you call Sean Penn's hair waving in the breeze.
Notoriously boring yet legendary director and film school darling Terry Malick took off 20 years in self-imposed hibernation somewhere on a distant planet and managed to direct an entire movie without even returning to Earth!
Ghost-written by Jewel, The Soap Opera Paced Red Line is set in the midst of one of WWII's worst conflicts, the island of Barnes and Noble Poetry readings. General Emily Dickinson and Lt. Col. Robert Frost outline a battle plan called "Operation Metaphors 'R' Us." We're going to fog the enemy's minds with symbolism, men! And while we're at it, let's not leave out the audience! This, gang, is what would have happened if the Gulf war had been covered by the Bravo channel.
Fortunately, enduring this movie beside me was Private First Class Shakti Gawain, who handed me a trusty copy of the "Intergalactic Malick-English Dictionary," available in the esoterica section of your favorite bookstore. Just take a peek at these sample entries:
Malick-ese from the planet "Rigel 7" / English Translation, from the planet Earth
- - "The closer you are to Caesar, the greater the fear" / "This salad sucks. Bring me another."
- - "What's this war at the heart of nature?" / "I need to pee really bad"
- - "Who are you who live in all these many forms?" / "What, another Anthony Hopkins movie???"
- - "What's keeping us from reaching out to touch the glory?" / "If only my seat was closer to the stage I could see Nicole Kidman nude"
- - "Who lit this flame in us?" / "I have heartburn; can you spare a Tums?"
- - "This great evil; where does it come from?" / "What time is Teletubbies on?"
I can't call this movie "pretentious" because I have no idea what it's pretending to be. But if the Allies ever decode it, something tells me they'll find the real killer of Nicole Simpson.
Copyright 1999 Mark Ramsey. All rights reserved. NO PORTION MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR.
********************
Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes more than half the laughs)!
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Date: Sun, 17 Jan 1999 14:10:43 -0700 (MST)
From: The Reporter <gregorys@xmission.com>
Subject: [MV] Movie News - 01/17/99
"Titanic" was named the best movie of 1998, and Tom Hanks
and Sandra Bullock were named favorite film stars at Sunday
night's ceremony for the 25th annual People's Choice Awards.
(No relation to this PEOPLE.) TV stars Tim Allen of "Home
Improvement" and Helen Hunt of "Mad About You," the shows
"ER" and "LA Doctors" and singers Garth Brooks and Celine
Dion also were among those honored during the event,
televised live by CBS from the Pasadena Civic Auditorium.
(The winners were chosen by Gallup Poll. Part of the
ceremony's audience consisted of members of the public, who
never stopped cheering -- which often prevented winners from
being heard.) Special "all-time favorite" honors were given
to Harrison Ford (movies), Bill Cosby (TV) and Elton John
(music). Nathan Lane was selected as favorite comedy actor
in a new series -- that series being "Encore! Encore!," an
early calamity of the new season.
-=> * <=-
In another awards ceremony, the New York Critics Circle
dispensed its citations atop the World Trade Center, at the
restaurant Windows on the World, last night. Best Actress
(for "There's Something About Mary") Cameron Diaz told New
York's Daily News, "I'm flattered, I'm shocked. I feel like
a bucket of water has been dropped on me. "Saving Private
Ryan" (Best Picture) producer Steven Spielberg said, "I'm
always surprised when we get an award for anything." During
the dinner, Bill Murray (Best Supporting Actor, for
"Rushmore") said, "This is, indeed, the only film award that
matters. That may be because it's the only film award that
requires an elevator."
-=> * <=-
Edward Asner, Joni Mitchell and Kenny Loggins are among the
well-known Hollywood names lending their talents to a
documentary opposing development of Playa Vista, the future
home of DreamWorks, reports Variety. (DreamWorks -- run by
Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen --
currently has "Saving Private Ryan" and "The Prince of
Egypt" in release.) "The Last Stand: The Struggle for
Ballona Wetlands" centers on the possibility of saving one
of Southern California's last wetland ecosystems and Los
Angeles' largest remaining open space. Asner narrates the
56-minute film, while Mitchell, Loggins and Joe Walsh
provide music. The film will have its West Coast premiere
Tuesday at the Museum of Tolerance in West Los Angeles.
-=> * <=-
"A Civil Action," a fact-based litigation drama starring
John Travolta, received a positive verdict from North
American moviegoers in its first weekend of wide release.
Travolta plays a personal injury lawyer who battles
corporate might in the case of eight children stricken with
leukemia, allegedly caused by toxic drinking water. The film
ranked No. 1 with a haul of $14.5 million for the
Friday-to-Sunday period, while reigning champ "Patch Adams"
slipped to No. 2 with $12 million, according to studio
estimates. "You've Got Mail" and "Stepmom" each reported
about $8 million, and "The Prince of Egypt" was at No. 5
with $5.8 million. Those rankings represented a major plunge
for each of the three films.
-=> * <=-
Geena Davis has been named the host of an officially
sanctioned pre-Oscar show on March 21, muscling in on talk
show host Joan Rivers and others who have made watching the
stars walk into the ceremony a lucrative business. "The one
thing I can guarantee that it will not include is anyone
yelling, 'Who made your dress?'" Davis said Sunday. Davis'
show will be telecast on ABC and will be followed by the
award ceremony. During the show, other networks will be
barred from televising the stars as they enter the theater.
That puts a crimp in the plans of people like Rivers, who
critiques the actors' and actresses' outfits for E!
-=> * <=-
HONORED: "In the Heat of the Night" and "Moonstruck"
director Norman Jewison, 72, with the Irving G. Thalberg
Award, for his "consistently high quality" of movie-making,
by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, to be
presented at its Oscar ceremony March 21.
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Date: Sun, 17 Jan 1999 20:28:17 -0500
From: Gene Ehrich <gene@ehrich.com>
Subject: [MV] limerick
At 08:48 AM 1/11/99 -0800, you wrote:
>Oh! I forgot Snake Eyes.
>
>God I hated that movie. Terrible acting by one of my favorite actors
>and indulgent, masturbatory directing by one of my favorite directors.
>
I agree it was real bad but your comments remind me of a great limerick
from Playboy many years ago:
Todays modern cinematic emporium
Is not just a super sensorium
But a highly effectual
Heterosexual
Mutual masterbatorium
gene@ehrich
http://www.voicenet.com/~generic
Computer & Video Game Garage Sale
Gene Ehrich
PO Box 209
Marlton NJ
08053-0209
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Date: Sun, 17 Jan 1999 20:30:41 -0500
From: Gene Ehrich <gene@ehrich.com>
Subject: Re: [MV] Oscar Predictions - What are you laying your bets on?
I'd make a few bets on any of a number of the actors from Stepmom.
Sarandon, Roberts, Harris & both kids were fantastic.
gene@ehrich
http://www.voicenet.com/~generic
Computer & Video Game Garage Sale
Gene Ehrich
PO Box 209
Marlton NJ
08053-0209
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Date: Mon, 18 Jan 1999 11:33:15 +0800 (HKT)
From: Jayson <ja970600@balut.admu.edu.ph>
Subject: Re: [MV] Oscar Predictions - What are you laying your bets on?
On Sun, 17 Jan 1999, David Lee wrote:
>
> Anyway, to pacify my personal thirst for Oscar trivia and gossips, can
> somebody kindly provide me (or to suggest to the list) a few likely Oscar
> Noms for the various MAJOR categories?
Hmm, Saving Private Ryan, The Truman Show, and Shakespeare in Love are
definite locks for Best Picture and Screenplay. Of course, their directors
are most likely to get nominations too. One possible director to get a
nomination is Terence Malick but his film may not get nominated (one war
film is enough?). In the acting race, watch out for these names: Tom
Hanks, Nick Nolte, Ian McKellen, Cate Blanchett, Gwyneth Paltrow, Susan
Sarandon, Meryl Streep, Billy Bob Thornton, Robert Duvall, Ed Harris, Judi
Dench and Lisa Kudrow. These next few people may not get nominated but I
think they should be: Jeremy Davies (or the entire SPR ensemble),
Christina Ricci (Opposite of Sex), Julia Roberts (Stepmom), Joan Allen
(Pleasantville), the writer of Sliding Doors, and Jim Carrey (hey, if
Sharon Stone can get nominated...).
Jayson
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Date: Sun, 17 Jan 1999 21:28:50 -0600
From: torq@mo.net
Subject: Re: [MV] Oscar Predictions - What are you laying your bets on?
At 11:33 AM 1/18/99 +0800, Jayson wrote:
>film is enough?). In the acting race, watch out for these names: Tom
>Hanks, Nick Nolte, Ian McKellen, Cate Blanchett, Gwyneth Paltrow, Susan
>Sarandon, Meryl Streep, Billy Bob Thornton, Robert Duvall, Ed Harris, Judi
>Dench and Lisa Kudrow. These next few people may not get nominated but I
i have absolutely no interest in who wins such-and-such award, but i am
curious what those of you who DO care about awards think of edward norton's
chance at an oscar/nomination for "american history x".
better yet, "american history x" for best picture.
awards are so silly.
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Date: Mon, 18 Jan 1999 13:03:44 +0800 (HKT)
From: Jayson <ja970600@balut.admu.edu.ph>
Subject: Re: [MV] Oscar Predictions - What are you laying your bets on?
> i have absolutely no interest in who wins such-and-such award, but i am
> curious what those of you who DO care about awards think of edward norton's
> chance at an oscar/nomination for "american history x".
Hmm, he may have a chance.
> better yet, "american history x" for best picture.
I haven't seen the film but being included in some "worst lists" seems to
have killed its chances.
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Date: Sun, 17 Jan 1999 23:57:48 -0800
From: "Jason Cormier" <movieman@netcom.ca>
Subject: [MV] Thin Red Line review
Saving Private Mallick.
Well what could have saved this otherwise entertaining film, directed by
Terrence Mallick,
would have been some more time in the editing room. A little on the leng=
thy
side if you ask me
- - not that I hate long movies but this one seemed over and then it kept o=
n
going for another 45
minutes. Also there are some problems regarding casting as two of the ma=
in
stars look very
similar and it is hard to distinguish between the two at times. There ar=
e a
lot of meaningless
voice-overs as well that add to the confusion as you never know whose voi=
ce
it is doing the
voice-over. A plethora of beautiful images and scenes that wonderfully
juxtaposed the insanity
of war was usually ruined by a voice over telling us how beautiful nature=
is
and how different it
is to war...thanks for the tip! Anyway an entertaining film but I didn=92=
t
feel as emotionally
involved as I did with Ryan. I give it a 78%.
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Date: Sun, 17 Jan 1999 22:57:38 -0600
From: torq@mo.net
Subject: Re: [MV] Oscar Predictions - What are you laying your bets on?
At 01:03 PM 1/18/99 +0800, Jayson wrote:
>> better yet, "american history x" for best picture.
>
>I haven't seen the film but being included in some "worst lists" seems to
>have killed its chances.
i wasnt suggesting that i thought it was the best picture of the year, but
i do think it was a good movie. had some flaws, likely due to the
controversy surrounding its post-editing process, but it was still a very
worthy film. but i have heard both very good and very bad opinions of it
from various people.
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Date: Mon, 18 Jan 1999 00:05:14 -0800
From: "Jason Cormier" <movieman@netcom.ca>
Subject: Re: [MV] Oscar Predictions - What are you laying your bets on?
I think his chance are slim as not many of the voter's have seen that movie
as it is pretty against everything. i loved the pic and would love norton
to win as he is so amazing (what a career this guy suddenly has!!) but his
chances are slim to none to even getting nominated...
- -----Original Message-----
From: torq@mo.net <torq@mo.net>
To: movies@lists.xmission.com <movies@lists.xmission.com>;
