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Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1998 15:44:19 -0500 (EST)
From: maillist@moviejuice.com
Subject: [MV] MovieJuice! - YOU'VE GOT MAIL and A CIVIL ACTION
Visit MovieJuice! (http://www.moviejuice.com) this week for these web exclusives:
- - A special preview of Kevin Smith's "Dogma," coming in '99
- - A look at the "Top Secret" script for the sequel to Good Will Hunting!
- - Some "don't miss" pictures, especially for You've Got Mail. Trust me, it's worth it.
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YOU'VE GOT MAIL - SAVING MEG RYAN
http://www.moviejuice.com
by Mark Ramsey
December 20, 1998
'Twas the night before Christmas, when through Warners' house
Not Avengers was stirring, not even a mouse;
The hopes were all hung by Christmas with care,
in hopes that St. Tom soon would be there;
The audience nestled all snug in their beds,
while Sleepless in Seattle danced in their heads.
Out at the box office arose such a clatter,
I sprang to the theater to see what was the matter.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but an unbeatable formula, and eight tiny reindeer.
Before I could say, "I'll run to the John,"
I knew in a moment it must be St. Tom.
More rapid than eagles the lonely-hearts came,
And he whistled and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now Big, and Punchline and Bonfire and 'burbs!
On, Ephron and Gump and Turner and...Hooch!
To the hearts of the masses, the top of the wall
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Tom came with a bound.
He was dressed for romance, from his head to his foot.
"It's Meg and Tom magic," he said, full of soot.
His eyes - how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow.
As the ladies would swoon, their men grumbled "doh!"
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
"I've got enough Oscars to open a store,"
Tom proudly proclaimed, "but I'll make room for more."
With magic, you know, You've Got Mail is chocked full.
Even a stone would for this couple pull.
The writing is bright. It's a holiday treat.
This notion of whether these two should "meet."
"Every project I touch, it turns to gold,
excepting Bonfire, but that sucker's old."
Tom lay a finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle.
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, SEE YOU ON OSCAR NIGHT!"
Copyright 1998 Mark Ramsey. All rights reserved. NO PORTION MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR.
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A CIVIL ACTION - LAW AND ODOR
http://www.moviejuice.com
by Mark Ramsey
December 20, 1998
"This movie is SO fly. So get DOWN and get REAL with A Civ-il Ac-tion!"
- - MTV's Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez - the belly-baring chick with the Cat-in-the-Hat chapeau. Full of "one-eyed" jack, she's a master of "Hooked on Phonics," the cue-card edition
I don't think a week goes by without a new movie featuring William H. Macy! Now, I like Bill Macy as much as the next guy - in fact I've been a fan ever since his days on Maude - but what's the deal? Aren't there more than three supporting actors in Hollywood? Bill is moviedom's answer to the Jamaican domestic. Hey, guy, take a vacation! Let some other actors have a crack at it, folks like Billy Bob or Paul Giamatti. Haven't seen those guys in a while.
Bill joins Scientologist L. John Travolta - who's clinging to the comeback trail with an ever-loosening grip - in A Civil Action, a legal eagle potboiler where the little people face off against evil, faceless corporate industrial goliaths.
Somebody, it seems, is dumping toxic waste with impunity - and I'm not talking about the writers on Caroline in the City! The water is going bad and the babies are pushing up daisies. Is it a coincidence, those two mega-corporations digging and dredging around town with "poison"-stamped barrels rusting all over the place? I think NOT!
One of the alleged evil-doers is chemical giant W.R. Grace and Co. It turns out I had a run-in of my own with that company's one-time chairman Peter Grace. Here was a guy whose voice was an accident scene at the intersection of Truman Capote Way and Mickey Mouse Drive. As a professional woman in a crowded lecture room asked him a question, he lifted a cheek to make room for his pointed tail, belched out a smoky carbon monoxide-laced fog, swizzled a shot of benzene into his brandy, and called her "sweetheart" and "honey." And this is the company poisoning thousands? I can't imagine.
The other alleged bad guy is mega-corporation Beatrice Foods. One thing I can say with complete confidence: I will never work for a company named after any character who calls Mayberry home (my apologies to the makers of Andes Mints and Goobers, not to mention that grand old store Barneys). Hey investors, you can find Beatrice on the NYSE, along with similarly name-challenged sister companies Mabel Munchies and Edna Edibles.
A Civil Action is from the guy who wrote Schindler's List, and it shows. This is a good movie!
John Travolta is a crusading hero lawyer and Cornell grad who's playing legal hoochie koochie with the Harvard big boys. "Cornell is a damn good school," says Harvard alum and one-time director Sidney Pollack in what sure sounds like a patronizing insult. As a Cornell man myself, my recollections of Harvard include countless sessions of football whup-ass as the Crimson stampeded again and again over whatever fine threads of dignity we were lucky enough to retain since our last whup-ass at their maroonish hands. Fortunately, even in the darkest moments when we felt like the Ivy's armpit, the Ivy's asshole was still Penn. God bless the pecking order!
And then there's acting's Rock-of-Gibraltar, Robert Duvall. He's the quirky yet intelligent pinstriped soldier of legal evil. "You're lucky to find anything here that resembles the truth," says Duvall. Was he referring to the Golden Globes?
A Civil Action teaches the profound lesson that "law" and "truth" are not the same thing. I learned that lesson when Perry Mason turned out to be gay.
John fights injustice against overwhelming odds. But fighting the good battle costs bucks, and John's team loses everything - their money, their homes, their lights, their chairs, their autographed copies of Dianetics - everything but the cracked Cornell diploma and the Pamela and Tommy sex tape - remarkable achievements, both. Life is lower than low! In desperation, they fill out countless credit card applications for quick cash - just like an Indie producer and those crazies who bid for Furby's on-line.
Fortunately, the town rallies around John. Big business is evil and small-town working folk are God's chosen people. What's more, these folks have a right to clean water so they can live to the end of this movie. That's when all of John's friends gather 'round the Christmas tree joined by wife Mary, John's kid brother Harry, and his Uncle Billy for a toast: "To my big brother John, the richest man in town."
As John's little girl, Zuzu, says: "Every time a bell rings, Bill Macy gets another movie."
Copyright 1998 Mark Ramsey. All rights reserved. NO PORTION MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR.
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Hey, kids, don't forget to visit the MovieJuice! Site at http://www.moviejuice.com. The pictures are half the fun (and sometimes more than half the laughs)!
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Date: Sun, 20 Dec 1998 14:47:49 -0700 (MST)
From: Scott Renshaw <renshaw@inconnect.com>
Subject: [MV] Happy Holidays and Happy Viewing from The Screening Room
To all my subscribers (and all those who receive these reviews second
hand), may you have a safe and delightful holiday season surrounded by
those you love and who love you. Thank you for your support in 1998.
