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buffyfic-digest      Wednesday, December 9 1998      Volume 02 : Number 391



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: ADMIN:  How to (un)s*bscribe
       BUFFYFIC: Twas The Night Before Christmas
       BUFFYFIC: Winter Wonderland, (1/1) by Andrea
       BUFFYFIC: Twilight - Next Chapter

See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Tue, 8 Dec 1998 17:40:45 -0500 (EST)
From: sah <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: ADMIN:  How to (un)s*bscribe

Please SAVE this message-- it contains information on how to uns*bscribe
from the list or to change s*bscription options.

IF YOU'RE S*BSCRIBED TO THE REGULAR BUFFY LIST AND WISH TO CHANGE TO DIGEST:

You need to uns*bscribe from the Buffy list, and res*bscribe to the digest.

Send a message to [e-mail]

In the body of the message, put

uns*bscribe buffy

Then, send a second message to [e-mail]

In the body of the message, put

s*bscribe buffy-digest

You'll go through the same approval process that you got when you subbed to
the regular Buffy list.  If you're s*bscribed to the digest version, and
want to change to regular mail, do the opposite-- unsub from buffy-digest,
and resub to buffy.

THE BUFFY FICTION LIST

To s*bscribe to the Buffy Fiction list, follow the same procedures as
listed above-- just substitute buffyfic or buffyfic-digest for buffy or
buffy-digest.

TO UNS*BSCRIBE FROM ANY BUFFY LIST

send a message to [e-mail]

In the body of the message put

uns*bscribe buffy

(or buffy-digest, or buffyfic, or buffyfic-digest)

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 08 Dec 1998 18:01:40 -0500
From: NightHunter <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Twas The Night Before Christmas

Just something silly I thought of.

The Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas,
when all through Sunnydale
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Vamp;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Giles soon would be there;

Willow & Xander were nestled all snug in their bed,
While visions of Smootchies danced in their heads;
And Buffy in her 'negligee, and I in my briefs,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from her arms to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like the flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Giles.
More rapid than wolfs his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, ANGELUS! now, DRUCILLA! now, CORDELIA and OZ!
On, SYNDER! on LUKE! on, DARLA and TRICK!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of weapons, and St. Giles too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Giles came with a bound.

He was dressed all in tweed, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of weapons he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY BUFFY TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 08 Dec 1998 19:43:31 PST
From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Winter Wonderland, (1/1) by Andrea

Title: Winter Wonderland
Author: Andrea
e-mail: [e-mail]
summary: B/A fluff. A snowstorm falls on Sunnydale.
disclaimers: Not mine. If they were the curse would work a little
differently, and love _would_ conquer all.
spoilers: Well, it takes place later in season three so anything up to
now is fair game.
Warning: If youÆre allergic to sap I would stop here. I blame this story
on hearing æWalking in a Winter WonderlandÆ too many times while trying
to write a happy B/A fic. Also, youÆll have to ignore the fact that they
donÆt get snow in Sunnydale.
For: Christine, who wanted a happy B/A fic. Sorry, this was the best I
could do.





The night was colder than any Angel could ever remember Sunnydale
experiencing. He walked quickly through the trees, the frostbitten
ground crunching under his feet. Stepping out into the graveyard he
stopped, his eyes lighting on the blonde-haired Slayer perched on top of
a gravestone, her hat pulled down tightly on her head. She shivered,
wrapping her arms around herself, her eyes searching the night for any
sign of danger.

He moved forward, stepping into her line of sight, his hands hanging
loosely at his sides. Keeping his head down he walked toward her slowly,
giving her time to disappear if she wanted to.

"It's freezing." Buffy said, her breath visible in the cold January air.
She jumped down from the gravestone, her hands depositing her stakes
into her pockets as she stared warily at him.

Angel was silent for a moment, drinking in the sight of her, memorizing
every detail of her face. A self-conscious grimace crossed his face as
her expression became impatient. Turning his head slightly away from her
he forced the words he had come to say through his unwilling lips. "I'm
leaving."

"Oh." Buffy breathed, her shoulders sinking as she stared at him, her
expression rapidly changing, anger, relief and pain flashing across her
face. She nodded slowly, her voice resigned as she questioned him.
"When?"

"Soon." Angel replied his voice low as he tried to hide his pain from
her. "Tonight."

Buffy nodded again, her eyes burning into him, the unshed tears making
her eyes shine. They stood silently staring at each other, as the wind
died down and soft white flakes began to fall from the sky. The flakes
clung to their hair and clothes, covering the ground in a white blanket.
Breaking eye contact Buffy looked up into the sky, a deep sigh escaping
her as she turned her hand upwards, catching the flakes in her hand. She
smiled suddenly, her eyes meeting Angel's once again. Her shoulders
relaxed as she pulled off her glove and held her hand out to him.

He stared down in confusion at the offered hand, before lifting his eyes
to her. Laughing softly she took his hand and pulled him towards the
entrance to the graveyard. He followed her uneasily until they were
outside the graveyard, pulling her to a stop, his face perplexed. "What
are you doing?"

Her smile wavered, then disappeared, replaced by pain. Her eyes were
wide as she spoke to him, her tone wistful. "It's snowing. It doesnÆt
snow in Sunnydale."

"And?" Angel gently asked, his mind racing as he tried to think of a
demon associated with snowfall. Unable to think of one, he shrugged his
shoulders, waiting for her to elaborate.

"And." Buffy repeated her tone defiant as she stared at him with sad
eyes. "You were going to leave, but now it's snowing, so you can't." She
smiled weakly, her eyes begging him to go along with her. "It's like
magic. We get this one night."

Angel opened his mouth to argue, to tell her that a little snow wouldn't
stop him from leaving, but the almost child-like look of hope on her
face stopped him. Reaching out he slowly brushed the snow off her coat,
smiling slightly as new flakes landed as soon as the old ones were gone.
Buffy said nothing, her breath barely audible as she waited to hear his
answer. The decision came easily as he smiled at her, his pain hidden
from view. He had centuries to mourn his loss, forever to atone for his
sins, but only this night to spend with the girl he loved.

Feeling suddenly free, he bent down, quickly scooping the wet snow into
his hand. Standing up he smiled innocently at her as his hand reached
out, dropping the wet snow inside the collar of her jacket. She pulled
away with a yelp, her expression changing from surprise to relief then
finally to a happy grin as she hopped around trying to dislodge the snow
from her jacket.

"You." She sputtered laughter in her voice as she approached him. She
moved with the Slayer's quickness, her hands full of snow as she
advanced on him, reaching up to cover his face in snow. He caught her
hands easily, holding then above her head gently. Staring down at her,
he felt the love flare to life between them, it's presence almost
visible in the air between them. He felt incapable of moving as her eyes
softened and the love he felt for her was reciprocated in her eyes. His
gaze drifted to her mouth, the slight parting of her lips as her
breathing shallowed mesmerizing him. He watched the small puffs of white
litter the air between them, the evidence of her life. His stomach
rolled as he realized there were no answering clouds from him. His gaze
faltered and he turned his head away from her, reminded once more of the
monster he was. His eyes filled with shame and regret as he released her
hands, letting his arms fall limply to his sides.

Buffy's voice was soft as she spoke, "I know there is nothing that I can
say to make this better for you. I can tell you that the demon was in
control, and it wasn't your fault, but it won't change how you feel."
Her voice was pleading as she reached out to cup his face with her
hands, turning him to face her. "I'm not asking you to forget. I'm just
asking for this night." Her eyes shone with love as she spoke to him.
"We can spend it talking if you want. We can cry all night because we
can never have the thing we want most. The only thing we can't do is
change it." Her lips trembled slightly as a few stray tears fell down
her cheek. "I want to hold your hand and walk in the park. I want you to
push me on the swing. I want to sip hot chocolate by a fire. I want...I
want to make this night everything we'll never have and then keep the
memory forever."

Angel felt his eyes filling with tears as he watched her struggle for
control. He moved slowly towards her, his lips brushing against her
cheek, her tears mixing with the snow in his lips. Pulling back to look
into her eyes, he pushed all his pain and regret into a ball in the pit
of his stomach, only love apparent on his face when he looked at her. A
smile spread across his face as he arched his eyebrow, a mischievous
glint appearing in his eyes a split second before his leg swung around
hers and sent her tumbling onto the snow. She landed with a soft thud;
her limbs sprawled on the ground. She looked shocked for a moment,
before her leg flew out and wrapped around his, sending him awkwardly to
the ground beside her. They grinned at each other before Angel flipped
over, laying on his back beside her, staring up into the white sky.
Buffy's voice was full of wonder as she spoke. "It's coming down so
fast. There's almost enough for a snowman already."

Angel laughed; his hand reaching out to hold hers as a memory of a
childhood lived long ago beckoned to him. Scrambling to his feet, he
pulled a reluctant Buffy behind him, ignoring her sputtering as he
searched for the perfect piece of snow. Finding it he released her hand
and flung himself backward into the snow. Buffy's smiled at his actions,
her expression confused as he started waving his arms and legs through
the snow.

Climbing carefully to his feet, he turned back to look at his outline,
laughter in his voice as he presented it to Buffy. "A snow angel."

"A snow angel?" She whispered softly, studying the shape on the ground,
her smile growing wide with delight. Moving to the clear snow beside the
snow angel she dropped to the ground, laughing with abandonment as her
arms and legs copied his movements.

Angel's laughter echoed hers, as he pulled her to her feet and she
turned and stared down at the two forms lying next to each other. Angel
moved to stand behind her, his arms wrapping around her tightly. She
leaned back into his chest, a satisfied smile on her face as she
considered the angels.

Buffy slipped away from him suddenly, running to the tree at the edge of
the park. She was headed back before he could decide to go after her, a
twig held triumphantly above her head. She walked back to the snow
angels and carefully wrote their names in the snow underneath them.
Dropping the stick she turned back to Angel, her face daring him to say
anything to ruin the fantasy.

Angel nodded slightly, his hand reaching out for hers and leading her
away from their namesakes. They walked slowly down the sidewalk, alone
except for the odd person that scurried past, desperate to be inside.
Angel barely noticed them go by, unable to imagine ever wanting to be
anywhere but exactly where he was. He felt like they had been
transported into a world made just for them, just for this night.
Slipping his arm around Buffy's shoulder he pulled her close to him, his
lips kissing the top of her head as they walked.

"It's cold." Buffy mumbled into his side, her teeth chattering.

Angel's arm tightened around her, immediately chastising himself for
keeping her out in this weather. "I'll take you home."

"No." Buffy's voice rang out loudly, and she smiled nervously at him.
"What about a movie?"

She stared at him so hopefully that there was no way he could deny her.
Nodding his assent they changed direction, heading towards the theater.

Standing just inside the doors, they hesitated, looking at the list of
movies playing. "Psycho?" Buffy questioned.

"Please." Angel replied, trying to keep his voice light. "No crazed
killers."

"Right." Buffy agreed, her eyes scanning the sign. "Meet Joe Black?"

"What's that about?" Angel inquired, his eyes searching for the movie
poster.

"It's about...well, never mind." Buffy muttered, shaking her head in
disgust.

"What about this one?" Angel tried to be helpful, pointing to the sign
for Babe: pig in the city.

"It's about a pig." Buffy told him, a half-smile forming on her face.

"I like pigs." Angel offered, smiling at her hopefully.

"Me too." Buffy replied, nodding her head in satisfaction as they walked
towards the ticket counter.

Buffy waited alone in the theater while Angel stood in line for the
popcorn. She leaned her head back against the seat closing her eyes and
sighing deeply.

Angel stopped just inside the door to the theater; his eyes fixed on
her. He could almost imagine, standing there with his arms full of
popcorn and chocolate that they were like any other couple on a date.
That this was something that they could do again and again instead of a
one-night reprieve from fate.

Shrugging off the melancholy that hovered above him he walked over to
her, dropping the chocolate in her lap as he sat down beside her.

Buffy turned to him, her eyes sad although she smiled. Struggling to
keep her tone light she whispered to him. "We finally got a normal
date."

Angel smile back at her, his hands brushing her hair back from her
forehead. He didn't answer her; there wasn't anything he could say that
wouldn't bring reality crashing down in them. Instead he put his arm
around her and she leaned her head onto his shoulder as the lights
dimmed.

Buffy was crying into his shoulder by the time the movie was over, her
face shocked as they left the theater. "That was so depressing." She
stated firmly. "The first one was light and cheery."

"It had some funny parts." Angel offered, hoping to cheer her.

"It was bleak." Buffy muttered dejectedly, tucking herself into the
crook of his arm.

Angel felt himself grinning as he looked down at her, squeezing her
shoulder tightly as they headed back outside.

Sunnydale was silent now; the roads piled high with snow. They walked
down the middle of the street, their footprints the only marks on the
snow covered ground. They didn't speak as they entered the park, Angel
releasing her hand as he walked over to the swings and wiped one clean
for her.

She smiled self-consciously as she walked over to him, sitting gingerly
down on the swing. Angel moved around behind her, pushing her slowly at
first, then higher as she threw her head back, her laughter ringing out
loudly.

They stayed in the park for hours, sitting side by side on the swings,
having snowball fights, and staring at each other, neither of them
paying any attention to the reality that waited for them in the morning.

"A snowman." Buffy stated her eyes bright as she looked at Angel. "We
have to make a snowman."

Angel shook his head fondly, his smile tender as he took in her
chattering teeth. "How about some hot chocolate?"

"Snowman first, then hot chocolate." Buffy compromised, blowing on her
hands to warm them up.

Angel nodded, knowing he couldn't budge her. He grabbed her hand as they
walked out of the park; Buffy listing all the things they needed to buy
to decorate the snowman. Angel barely listened to her words, content
just to hear the excitement in her voice as she spoke. They found an
all-night convenience store and tumbled inside, Buffy quickly collecting
everything she wanted, as Angel found the hot chocolate.

They headed towards the mansion without talking about it, their hands
swinging jointly as they walked. Buffy broke free of him as they neared
the mansion, her eyes scouting out the area. She set to work on the
snowman with military precision, her eyes scanning the yard for the best
position. They worked in silence for over an hour, the only words spoken
by Buffy as she told him what to do. The snowman had three perfectly
round portions by the time she stopped, her eyes staring critically at
it.

"Buffy, it's fine." Angel repeated himself for what felt like the
hundredth time as Buffy moved towards the snowman, carefully fixing an
imperfection only she could see. "Buffy." Angel pleaded with her, his
eyes begging her to be finished.

She pursed her lips silently, then sighed, her face relaxing as she
turned to him with a sheepish grin. "Sorry. I got a little carried
away."

Angel grinned wryly at her, shaking his head as he held out a carrot.
"He still needs a face."

Buffy took the carrot from his outstretched hand, her eyes gleaming as
she turned back towards the snowman. Angel looked at her face as she
held the carrot up to different spots, trying to decide where to put it.
Laughing fondly he slipped away from her, heading into the destroyed
garden. His hands searched through the snow until he found two perfect
black rocks.

Moving quickly he headed back to Buffy, arriving just in time to see her
place a red licorice smile on the snowman. He walked up behind her, his
face solemn as he bowed slightly to the snowman. Holding the rocks in
his palm, he held his hand out to Buffy, grinning at her exclamation of
delight. Picking the stones from his hands she placed them on the
snowman's face, laughing softly as she whispered. "He can see."

"A masterpiece." Angel pronounced, pulling Buffy to him and hugging her.
Feeling her shiver in his arms he released her, staring down at her, her
face glowing in the moonlight. "Let's go inside."

Buffy nodded her agreement, her shoulders slumping slightly. Angel
smiled reassuringly, knowing that she was as unwilling as him to have
the night end. Searching his mind for a way to make her laugh again, he
grinned at her as an idea came to him. Turning slightly away from her,
he spoke over his shoulder. "Piggyback?"

She stared at him without speaking, the look on her face making him
worry that reality had returned, but she finally grinned, letting out a
wild yell as she flung herself onto his back. Her arms and legs holding
him tightly, he headed into the mansion. Buffy giggling helplessly as
they entered the living room, both of them totally forgetting every bad
memory the place held for them.

He dropped her unceremoniously on the couch, laughing at her look of
outrage as he walked over to the fireplace and coaxed the embers still
burning to life. Half-turning he saw Buffy shrugging out of her coat,
her teeth chattering loudly. Grabbing a blanket he walked over to her,
placing it around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head as he
closed it around her.

Buffy was quiet as he found a pot and filled it with water, placing it
in the fire to warm. When the hot chocolate was ready he carried the
steaming cup over to her. She took it from him gratefully her hands
wrapping tightly around the cup. Moving over slightly she motioned for
him to sit beside her.

They sat silently, the crackling of the fire the only noise in the room.
Buffy sat her hot chocolate on the floor and moved closer to Angel,
pulling the blanket around to cover them both. Leaning her head on his
shoulder she sighed in contentment. Angel pulled her closer, his face
buried in her hair.

"Angel." She whispered softly, her voice muffled into his shoulder.

"Hmmm?" He murmured, kissing the top of her head.

"It was perfect." She mumbled sleepily, nuzzling closer to him as her
breathing slowed.

His arms tightened around her as his eyes welled with tears. Holding her
close as she drifted off to sleep he answered quietly, his voice seeming
to echo through the room. "Yes. It was."
*******

~thus ends the sap.





______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 9 Dec 1998 17:30:28 EST
From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Twilight - Next Chapter

TITLE: Twilight
AUTHOR: Shadows
DISTRIBUTION: E-mail me at [e-mail]
 "I don't care where, as long as it's there"         -Luisa
DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine. ::sniff::
NOTE: I saw "The Wish." My vampire's bleed. I'm as accurate as I want to be,
darn it.


Twilight (Next Chapter)

    She hadn't, she hadn't, she hadn't . . .

    . . . hit her mark.

    [I got 3 e-mails from people saying they didn't want Xander to die. I'M NOT
DONE YET! Of course he's not going! (:]

    The stake stuck straight out of Xander, protruding from the right side of his
chest, causing incredible pain all over. Xander growled, morphed, and shoved
Buffy off without much care as to hurt her or not. Right now he wasn't
thinking, and just blinded by the pain.

    Buffy, who had been "shoved" clear across the room, hopped back to her feet
and saw Xander hobbling towards the exit, clutching the stake that was deeply
submerged in his chest. *I missed, Buffy thought. Did I do it on purpose, or
am I just losing it?*

    Next to her-way too close for comfort-Angel was already standing and
chuckling softly. "You just keep making it easier and easier for me, don't
you, Slayer?" he asked her, and then turned away from her, walking back
towards his little dysfunctional family, Dru and Spike.

    Buffy stood there, mouth agape, wondering what had gone wrong. And then
suddenly, like it sometimes happens, everything clicked.

    Obviously Xander had not been taken over by evil. He had to sneak out to kill
Angel because he would never really get the chance, what with Willow fussing
over him, Giles wanting to study him, and Buffy with the basic argument of her
not wanting anyone to kill Angel. So he had sneaked out and planned to come
back as soon as he killed Angel. Xander had tricked the vampires, pretended he
was one of them, and then went it for the kill-which then failed. So while he
and Angel were fighting, Buffy had fallen on in, and staked poor, innocent,
good-intentioned Xander-in effect preventing him from giving Angel what he
deserved.

    Angel, who had draped an arm around a coy Drusilla, turned back to look at
Buffy. "What, are you still here?" he laughed. Then he turned back to the
female vampire. "Leave, lover."

    Buffy's mind was racing a mile a minute, and her body stood helpless. Oh God,
what would Xander think of her now? She had to get to him, and-oh God, he
would go to the library, and he would be massacred! Buffy turned on her heel
and ran out of the warehouse as fast as she could.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
- -------------------------

    They had it all planned out-they had made sure of that before Buffy had gone
to find Xander. Willow and Oz were positioned at the door; Willow armed with a
large cross, and Oz with two open vials of holy water. Giles was farther away,
by the table, holding a crossbow that, if need be, could easily be aimed at
the door in a matter of seconds. Also, all three of them had stakes, in case
anything failed.

    Willow didn't want to kill him. It didn't matter if Xander had died and this
new evil had taken over him. When he had shown her his vampire face, as
monstrous and vicious and downright grotesque as it might have been, she still
saw only her best friend since forever. Not a demon, not whatever Buffy
claimed would wreck chaos and destruction right along with Angel.

No, now Willow was on the other end of the spectrum. She knew where Buffy was
coming from with the Angel/Angelus deal. Buffy kept saying to herself that
Angel was still in there-and maybe he was. To Willow, Xander would always be
in there. And if only she could find the spell of restoration . . . damn
gypsies! If they had just staked Angelus on the spot for killing their
favorite daughter, then none of this would have happened! Buffy could do her
job without any such qualms and Xander would be sitting in the library,
complaining about having to do more research, cracking bad jokes, and making
out with Cordelia in the bookshelves! Instead, he was probably feeding on half
the population of Sunnydale, for all she-they-knew.

    There was the sound of heavy footfalls in the hallway. Everyone's head shot
up, and they exchanged nervous glances. It had to be Xander. Buffy wouldn't
walk like that, and the school was deserted-not even Snyder wished to stay
after 5:00 or so.

    Willow gulped. Could she do it? Could she thrust this cross into his face?
Her shoulders began to shake, and before Oz could move to comfort her, she had
stopped.

    She would kill him, if she had to. She wasn't afraid. It wasn't Xander.
Xander had died, and the only way to avenge his death was to kill this monster
which had overtaken him. Yes, she would kill this vampire, and the next, and
the next, and the next . . .

    The doors to the library burst open, startling her out of reverie. Right in
her face was the monstrous version of Xander, lurching towards her. Shocked,
she let out a yip and shoved the cross right into his face.

    Xander growled and stepped back, running right into the counter. He stared
viciously at Willow, eyes glowing wildly, and then noticed Oz ready to throw
his water.

    Xander ducked out of the way before he was burnt and then popped madly back
up again. "What the hell's wrong with you?" he screamed at them, not caring if
they got scared or frightened in the process. He was enraged that tonight had
gone totally down the hole. Nothing ever went right on the Hellmouth!

    Willow hesitated for a moment, loosing her grip on the cross, but it was out
of her hands now. Giles, seeing that Xander was not backing off from Oz and
Willow, lifted up the crossbow. Xander turned towards him and his eyes widened
as Giles let the spring go.

    Xander made to duck and closed his eyes. God . . .

    The doors to the library burst open, and Buffy came running in at full speed.
She stepped in front of Xander, reached out with her two hands, and caught the
stake right before it was to go through Xander. She backed up close to him and
let the stake fall. It clattered loudly, the only sound in the room.

    "I thought he was evil," Oz asked outright, waiting for Buffy to explain why
she had rescued him.

    "He's not," Buffy explained, looking at everyone else for affirmation. Then
she turned around and placed her hands on Xander's chest. "You're hurt."

    Xander had a deep wound in his chest that had gone in several inches. It
would have been a perfectly straight hole if Xander had not pulled out the
stake while he was running. Now the skin was gashed all over and the shirt was
ripped and torn around the place where the stake had gone in. He had one
bloody hand over the bleeding cut and was obviously in a great amount of pain.

    But he ignored it, and shook Buffy's hand off of him. He shoved her out of
the way and stomped towards the stacks. "It'll heal," he growled, the
slightest touch of annoyance mingled in his voice.

    Giles had placed the crossbow on the table and was staring oddly at it,
trying to comprehend what was going on. Oz was completely and totally
clueless, and although Willow was relieved, she was also confused.

    "What happened?" she whispered to Buffy.

    "I'll tell you what happened," Xander said as he reappeared, a heavy book
slipping out of his left hand. He hurried down the stairs and stood right next
to Giles, the book thumping as Xander threw it in front of him. "You guys
would have never let me leave, what with my-" he made a whiny
voice-"'condition,' so I had to sneak out. You people didn't respect my need
for privacy and-" He flipped open the book, and with his strength, the cover
was ripped off and went sailing across the room. Growling, Xander started to
flip through the book with much less anger.

    "-you found me not there. So you all thought I was evil, sent Buffy after me.
She got there, for SOME reason couldn't realize I was good, and staked me. So
glad you're losing it, Buffy. You could've *killed* me." The pages were
turning faster and faster, with Xander vehemently at the helm.

    "Xander, how could I * not * ?" Buffy asked, in defense of herself. "I got
there and there you were, acting all chummy with Angel and Drusilla. Am I
suppose to think that you still had your soul after that?"

    Xander shook his head, a sardonic smile coming to his lips and his fangs
glittering in the fluorescent lighting. "No, but the fact that Angel and I
were * fighting * might have given you a damn clue! Buffy, a few more minutes
and all he would've been was dust, if you hadn't decided to barge in an'
freakin' try to kill the wrong vampire!"

    Buffy opened her mouth to retort angrily when Xander let out a low moan and
dug his nails into the area around his wound. Giles put a comforting hand on
his shoulder. "Xander, you should really-"

    "Don't TOUCH me!" Xander hissed, shaking free of his light grip. "Touch me
and I'll KILL you! And don't think I won't!" He stood up straight and slammed
the book shut, getting right into Giles' face. "It's still in there! The
demon's still inside of me, and I can't fight it if you people keep PISSING ME
OFF!"

    Giles stepped back several for safety, until Xander finally looked away and
stomped off with the book to the bookcases. He angrily slid the book back into
its place and started to search for another.

    The three mortals and the wereboy were quiet for a moment, exchanging
glances. This behavior that Xander was portraying was quite unsettling indeed.
Buffy felt partly, if not wholly, responsible, and she racked her mind for
possible solutions.

    "Maybe he needs some, uh, ah . . ." Oz suggested under his breath.

    "You're right. He hasn't fed yet, and it's his first night and everything.
The need should be stronger." Buffy crossed her arms. "I think I should go to
the butcher shop and get him some." She gave Willow and look. "Are you ok? You
look sick."

    "Well, yeah, you would be to if someone close to you was a . . . I'll shut up
now." Willow sighed. "This is just weird. Xander's a vampire, he got * staked
* , and now he's gonna drink blood and everything? And why won't he take that
face off?"

    "Well," Oz put in, "maybe it's 'cause he's angry. And when he's angry, he
can't take that face off. So-"

    "No, that's not the reason." Xander had sat down at he library table, staring
at the pages of another carbon dated book before him and resting his head in
the hand that was not clutched to his chest. "I like this face. I'm a vampire.
So why should I take it off and pretend to be human? That would be stupid."

    Oz couldn't think of an answer, so Buffy turned back to Willow. "Do you want
to go with me?" she asked.

    "Yeah," Willow said quietly. "I need some, uh, some fresh air."

    "I'll go too," Oz said, putting his arm around Willow. She smiled at this
little gesture of love and held his hand tightly. Together, the three exited,
and then there were two.

    Giles, who had back up considerably against the weapons cage, took off his
glasses, wiped them clean, and settled them back on the bridge of his nose.
Running a hand through his hair, he made to say something comforting to
Xander.

    "Shut up," said the vampire as he turned the page with a vengeance. "Don't
wanna hear it."

End of this chapter. Next one . . . soon.
~Shadows~

------------------------------

End of buffyfic-digest V2 #391
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