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From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest)
To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com
Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #379
Reply-To: $SENDER
Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com
Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com
Precedence: bulk
buffyfic-digest Sunday, November 29 1998 Volume 02 : Number 379
In this issue:
BUFFYFIC: Of Clowns and Chocolate Hurricanes (1/1)
BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS Looking for a story
BUFFYFIC: Hopeless Hope (0/?)
BUFFYFIC: Hopeless Hope (1/?)
BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (30/30)
See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sat, 28 Nov 1998 15:34:56 EST
From: DaniLynn27@aol.com
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Of Clowns and Chocolate Hurricanes (1/1)
TITLE: Of Clowns and Chocolate Hurricanes
AUTHOR: Danielle Loughlin
E-MAIL: DaniLynn27@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION: My site. Otherwise pls ask. I'll say yes, I just like to know
where it's going.
SUMMARY: Second story in my "Little Slayerettes" series where I write about
Xander/Willow when they were children
SPOILERS: Nightmares
RATING: G
DISCLAIMER: They're all Joss & Co.'s, I own nobody. No infringement intended.
This is just an "I'm bored" fic. Enjoy. It's not much.
"A chocolate Hurricane? These are the best! I haven't had one since my . .
sixth . . . birthday . . "
<Xander flashback to his sixth birthday party>
"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Xan-der,
Happy Birthday to you!"
Six year old Xander stood on the chair and leaned over to blow out the
candles. He inhaled deeply and just as he was about to extinguish the flames,
Willow and Jesse both leaned over and blew them out.
"Heyyy," Xander whined. "That's not fair, it's *my* birthday!"
Willow and Jesse erupted into giggles. "Sorry," Willow said.
The three six-year-old friends were gathered around the Harris's kitchen table
for a little birthday party for Xander. Mrs. Harris quickly cut the cake and
gave each child a huge slice, then hurriedly left the room, obviously more
engrossed in other things than her son's birthday party.
Xander watched his mom go, wondering why she didn't stay for cake with him. He
wasn't able to dwell on the fact long due to the glop of frosting that landed
on his cheek.
Xander glared at Jesse and then picked up his slice of cake. "This is war!" He
threw the cake, which landed squarely on Jesse's shirt. Willow then put her
hand into the box of ice cream and scooped up a sloppy handful. She aimed and
threw at Xander, catching him right in the face. Xander looked stunned for a
moment, and then grinned.
"Yummy," he said.
Before long the three were involved in a full-out food fight.
A few minutes later, Mrs. Harris re-entered the room. Her eyes widened at the
sight of her dining room and the three children absolutely covered with cake,
candy, and ice cream. "Alexander Harris!" she said severely. Xander looked at
his mother sheepishly.
She sighed. "I'll deal with you later. But now, the clown is here."
Right on cue, a clown burst through the swinging dining room door, gaudily
attired in a bright clown costume, complete with multi-colored wig and red
nose. Willow and Jesse laughed as the clown pretended to trip and fall.
But Xander sat stock-still, absolutely petrified by the clown. He didn't find
it funny at all. He was terrified.
The clown pulled out some balloons and blew one up. Clumsily the clown
manipulated a balloon into a shape somewhat resembling a giraffe and offered
the balloon animal to the birthday boy. Xander shied away.
The clown poked Xander, trying to draw the boy out, make him laugh. He made
funny faces, blew a toy horn. At the clown's advances, Xander was growing more
and more anxious. When the clown's back was turned, Xander climbed out of the
chair and started to make a run for the door.
The clown saw him, though, and started to chase him around the table. Willow
and Jesse laughed hysterically, thinking Xander was putting on a show.
Until he started screaming. "Get him away from me! Go away!" Xander shrilled
at the top of his lungs. The clown didn't stop. Willow and Jesse laughed
harder.
Xander froze and let out a long scream of terror. His mother finally appeared
through the door. "Would you stop screaming? It's a clown for god's sake!" she
scolded him.
Xander kept on screaming. "I think you better go," said Mrs. Harris to the
clown. The clown shrugged and gathered up his stuff. Xander backed into a
corner of the dining room. Mrs. Harris ushered the clown out, an embarassed
look on her face. Xander stopped screaming once the clown was gone.
Willow and Jesse had stopped laughing, but a few small giggles still escaped.
Xander came out from his corner and climbed back in his chair.
He looked at Willow.
He looked at Jesse.
They both looked at him.
And then all three simultaneously grabbed pieces of cake and started throwing
it at each other again. The clown was forgotten. Until . . .
<flash back to the present>
A laughing clown bursts through the sheets of plastic, armed with a knife, and
heading for Xander.
"Ahhh!" Xander screamed, tumbling backwards. He took off running.
*****
<Later>
Finally giving up, Xander spun around and faced the clown, swinging a punch
right into the clown's face and knocking him out. "You were a lousy clown," he
declared. "Your balloon animals were pathetic. Anyone can make a giraffe."
"I feel good. I feel liberated!"
FIN
------------------------------
Date: Sat, 28 Nov 1998 18:55:57 -0800
From: "Michelle Furnas" <MFurnas@email.msn.com>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS Looking for a story
Hi, I apologize for the fact that this is
an off topic post. I am not subscribed
to the general Buffy list. I was just
wondering if anyone knew where I
could find stories that include Spike
or feature Spike. Any help you can
give me is greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance,
Michelle
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 29 Nov 1998 13:59:37 EST
From: RCCOLA503@aol.com
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hopeless Hope (0/?)
Title: Hopeless Hope (0/?)
Author: Meg R-C
Distribution: Sure, but just tell me first
Feedback: Pretty please with a cherry on top!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The basis for this story belongs to Anya, and the
characters belong to Joss Whedon and the WB
Rating: If you can watch the show, you can read this
Summary: A sequel to Anya's Gone. Xander is dying and his final wish is for
the gang to be reunited.
She stood on the stone doorstep, debating whether or not to knock. So much
had happened and she had worked so hard just to come to this point. Once again
she stood at a crossroads, so much laying on her decision, too heavy for her
22 year old shoulders. Turning around and going home, pretending failure, was
the easiest choice, the least painful. But then she would have to face his
eyes, so dependent on her to fulfill his final and only request. But to knock
was to open all the wounds so carefully closed but never healed all those
years ago. It was coming face to face with her past, he guilt, and everything
that had been banished from everywhere but her nightmares, and the darkest
corners of her soul.
But staring at that door she knew she had no choice, there was only one path
she could take. And so she knocked, and thus she bled as the wounds opened,
and the memories came rushing back.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 29 Nov 1998 14:58:48 EST
From: RCCOLA503@aol.com
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Hopeless Hope (1/?)
Title: Hopeless Hope (1/?)
Author: Meg R-C
Distribution: Sure, but just tell me first
Feedback: Pretty please with a cherry on top!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The basis for this story belongs to Anya, and the
characters belong to Joss Whedon and the WB
Rating: If you can watch the show, you can read this
Summary: A sequel to Anya's Gone. Xander is dying and his final wish is for
the gang to be reunited.
The knock startled Willow more than she would have liked to admit. With her
honed vampiric senses she should have felt the presence of her visiter long
before he announced himself.
Angel appeared at the top of the stairs. "Answer the door, Willow," he told
her.
This confused her. They never opened the door, always allowing salesmen to
find new victims and tourists to remain lost. Willow wondered what could be so
important about this visiter as to allow him entrance into the safe haven
Willow had come to call home. But she trusted Angel, knowing he would never
risk her for anything, and would in turn risk everything for her. She trusted
him to protect her form the darkness that haunted them, as she had once
trusted Buffy to.
And what she found standing there, or who she found standing there, shocked
and thrilled her more than anything ever had or ever could. After four, almost
five, years Willow had only dreamed of a reunion to her past.
But there her past stood, int the form of Buffy Summers, vampire slayer.
"Buffy," Willow whispered, overcome with joy at seeing her friend alive and
well, and standing on her doorstep.
But Buffy did not return her joy, or any emotion at all. Her eyes were cold
as stone, her face passionless. While physically she looked no older than the
teen Willow remembered, so much in her demeanor, her eyes, her being seemed to
have aged countless generations. Her body was Buffy Summers, but Buffy Summers
seemed to have died from within.
"Hello Willow." Even her voice gave off no emotion, "May I come in?"
"Of course, Willow opened the door wider and motioned her inside.
Willow. I knew what was waiting for me on the other side of that doorway, but
still I was unprepared. I could feel myself wavering, losing control. My steel
gave way to joy, and I had to fight to keep my face impassive when all I
wanted to do was pull her tightly to me, and never let go. But this was not
the time, it was too late for an emotional reunion. Too many wounds had been
made, too much time had elapsed.
I followed her inside onl to come face to face with him. Angel.
Angel.
Angel. Angel. Angel. Angel.
Love surged through me, and I fought to subside it. If I let myself feel now,
I would never regain control. And control was too vital to survival. Angel
taught me that.
But I hadn't felt like this in almost five years. Just seeing him woke up
everything inside me that had remained dormant for too long.
It took me a moment, but I forced it back, I regained control. Xander needed
me in control, and he was all that mattered. Everything else could come later.
I watched her coldness to Willow and my heart broke. What happened to my
Buffy? So vibrant, passionate, and full of life. Now she stands there,
reunited with her best friend after five years and she doesn't even crack a
smile. She is like steel, dead and void inside.
But when she looked at me I felt my heart surge. For a flash it was there,
the old Buffy. For a moment emotion forced its way to the surface, and love
shone through. She covered it quickly, putting the mask back on, but at least
now I knew that it was just a mask. My Buffy was still in there, hiding and
hurting, but there none the less.
I couldn't fathom why she was here. Her attitude crossed out the possibility
that it was just a social call, she seemed to be there completely against her
will, which shocked me. There were only two people I knew who could ever get
Buffy to do something she didn't want to do. Myself, and Giles, but he had
been dead for four years. I heard about his death, along with those of Joyce
and Hanks Summers, the Rosenburgs, the Harrises, and Jenny Calender. All of
them turned to vampires, all of them staked by Buffy herself.
Buffy's voice snapped me out of my reverie. "As you may have guessed, this is
not a social call. I did not come here for myself, I would much rather that
the two of you remained hidden and gone forever. However Xander does not see
it that way, and it is for him that I am here."
I could see Buffy mentally bracing herself, even through her mask she could
not hide from me completely. I knew her soul too well.
I looked around at them, watching as my words sunk in. I knew that I was
trying to hurt them, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted them to suffer as I
had. I wanted them to feel the pain that they had caused. BUt still, seeing
the torment on Angel's face broke my heart, and caused me to falter.
"Xander is dying." I dinly heard Willow gasp, but I continued without
stopping. If I paused even a moment I would lose control, and time did not
allow for the slightest emotion, too much had been wasted already. "The
doctor's don't know what it is, and no form of medicine has worked. He lies in
bed at home, slowly dying, but never faltering in his search for you. He has
maybe two weeks left at most. His final wish was for me to bring you home.
"I will not fail him. If you refuse, I am fully prepared to stake you.
However I hope it won'y come to that. He is dying, and he deserves closure,
one way or another."
I ended my speech, allowing my words to sink in. Willow was sobbing, but I
could not bring myself to feel sorry for her. She left him five years ago. She
gave up her right to grieve his loss the moment she left Sunnydale.
"So, are you coming or not?" My patience was wearing thin, time was a luxury
we did not have.
Angel nodded at me, "We're coming." Without giving a still sobbing Willow a
chance to respond.
"Good, let's go. Our flight leaves in an hour."
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 29 Nov 1998 12:48:47 -0800
From: taygeta@juno.com (C. Catherine)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles (30/30)
TITLE: Chronicles of the White Knight #29 Death and Destiny
AUTHOR: Taygeta
E-MAIL: taygeta@juno.com
FEEDBACK: Criticism muchly welcomed! (Bad or good...whatever the
complaint).
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just tell me first.
RATING: PG
KEYWORDS: Buffy/Xander fanfic
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the last Chronicles of the White Knight! Not a
typo. I left huge room for a sequel, but that's another day and age.
Hope I did the ending justice. Just to say, I love this series. It's
taken me from March until now and will probably reign as my favorite for
a logn time to come. Oh, and I'd like to dedicate this all to my friends
and fellow B/X and non-B/X fans that have journeyed the story of
chronicles of the White Knight with me.
DISCLAIMER: The characters portrayed in this fanfic and any such
reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series belong to their
creator, Joss Whedon, and their owners, Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui
Productions, Sanddollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other
words, they do not belong to me. Copyright infringement not intended.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chronicles of the White Knight
#30 In Time and Pain
By: Taygeta
It had been almost two months since Xander had been out of the hospital
and longer still that he had seen Buffy - talk to heràwatch her smile and
laughàhold heràkiss herà School had long let out for the year and he had
managed to pass his junior year with help from Willow, Oz, and Giles
while in midst of his rehabilitation. As much as he wanted to see Buffy
within that time, a part of him would not let go - could not let go - of
the memories of that sad night so long ago that still struck a chord in
his heart.
*~*~*
It had been so long since she had been in his arms - weeks since she had
heard the beating of his heart. Weeks that had turned into months since
she had held his hand, and all because of actions beyond her control.
Just the thought of that immediate comprehension of those lost days,
hours, minutes, seconds made her hurt. The vividness and the bitterness
she had felt had yet to fade, and so she concluded that it could be
nothing but the same for Xander.
*~*~*
"Angel's gone, Dru and Spike's practically gone underground," announced
Oz with a sigh at the Bronze, although such words needn't much
announcement, "It's safe to say that when its peaceful in Sunnydale, one
has to worry."
"I know what you mean," Willow said glancing at her boyfriend, "It's like
fear the silence."
"Speaking of silenceà" Cordelia said rolling her eyes, "Xander and Buffy?
Can those two get more silent?"
"Well, Cordelia, they kinda have a lot of issues to work out," Oz said,
"Granted they're taking their precious time to get to it, but after all
that Angelus stuff, can you blame them?"
"Let them have all the time they want, I personally don't care, but when
it involves me having to put up with Depressed Boy, I tend to care."
"We - Giles included - have been like the sticky stuff in the middle of
it all," Willow said.
"Switzerland."
Willow and Oz turned to the brunette with frowns, "What?"
"Switzerland. We should be Switzerlandày'know neutral territory?"
Oz replied, "Actually, Cordelia, Switzerland gave the Nazis usage of
their train tracks and stuff. So it doesn't speak too well for their
neutrality. Belgium's much better suited because the Germans violated
their neutrality."
"Okay, then, Belgiumàwhateveràas long as I'm not stuck in the middle."
"*We're* not stuck in the middle," Willow prompted.
Cordelia nodded, "SureàUh-oh, Depressive Boy at twelve o'clock."
"Hey, guys," Xander said with a mustered smile.
"Hey, how's your leg?" Cordelia said with tried cheerfulness.
He held up his wooden cane and said, "I can walk, butàuhàstill in need of
this wooden third for awhile longer."
"Umàhey, guys," a familiar voice said from behind them.
Xander looked up to meet Buffy's eyes and then quickly glanced away, "I
better get going. See you around."
"But Xander you just - " Willow began, but he was already lost in the
crowd of teenagers walking out the door.
"Guess I made an entrance, huh?" Buffy said with a sigh as she sat down
in an empty chair.
"What are you doing here, Buffy? I thought you had to do some patrolling
or some of your other slayer stuff, " Cordelia asked.
"Not that we're not glad that you're here," preempted the redhead.
The slayer smiled at her friend's attempt at reassurance, "I figured you
all were here and I thought I might as well stop by for patrolling.
Maybe catch a little fun."
Cordelia eyed her clothing, "Apparently with those pants and that
jacket."
"I'm sure the Hellmouth really cares," she replied sardonically, "I
better get gone, maybe I'll see you guys later or something."
"Or something," the brunette replied taking a sip of her soda, but the
corners of her lips rose to a tiny smile.
"FunnyàCordeliaàfunny," Buffy replied with a light smile as she left the
three teenagers to be alone once again.
*~*~*
The clocks struck midnight in the Harris home and Xander lay in his bed
wide-awake. He couldn't sleep, as usual. He hadn't been able to sleep
much even before the Angel incident. Sleep had been practically
non-existent ever since the time he and Buffy broke up months ago.
Xander opened the drawer of his nightstand and held up a white envelope.
Except for a few wrinkles, it was still in the same condition it had been
when he first saw it in the hospital - unopened. He feared its contents,
after all, what does one say to another just before they could possibly
die?
He had been meaning to give it back to her and question her, but there
never seemed to be a right time or moment. It didn't help much, either,
that they hadn't uttered more than a few words to each other within all
these months apart. Yet, seeing her today at the Bronze, looking into
her eyes for that split second, his insomnia - his wonderment- seemed to
intensify.
Grabbing his jacket and his cane, he placed the envelope in his pocket.
Slowly, he crept down the stairs and made his way to the door. It was
still early in patrol time and she was probably at her usual Friday
cemetery. For some reason, this seemed just the right moment - the right
time - he was looking for. He didn't know why or how, but just that he
had to see her - talk to her. Xander hoped that if anything, she'd
listen.
*~*~*
Buffy stood up with a sigh. Her watch read that it was nearly one and
she hadn't seen any slaying action since a vamp had attacked her when it
was ten.
"Go on, Love, call her name," Druscilla said as she slightly loosed her
grip on his neck, "Call your precious slayer to help you."
Xander gritted his teeth, "Forget it."
The vampire tightened her grip on his neck and said, "Fine."
Druscilla stepped out from behind the foliage with Xander in tote,
"Perhaps you shouldn't leave, just yet, Buffy."
The slayer turned around with stake in hand, "Druscilla, what do
youàXanderà"
"Yes, Slayer, I have your little boyfriend."
Xander joked, "Tried to tell her that we broke up, butàuhàshe didn't
believe me."
She tightened the grip on his neck, "Shut up."
"Okay," he struggled.
"Let him go," Buffy said authoritatively.
"Not until I finish what I came here to do."
"And what's that?" the slayer asked as she cautiously moved towards her.
"To kill you, of course," Dru replied, "After all, you did kill
Angelusàruined our happy home. You and your bloody friends made a mess
of everything. I was going to just come here to destroy you, but I saw
him sneaking about, and wellàcouldn't miss the opportunity for bait
andàan extra meal."
"Your fight is with me, not with Xander. Let him go," Buffy said.
"Not before I drain him first," she said with a sharp-toothed grin as she
bared his neck, but carelessly loosened her death grip on his neck.
Xander seized the opportunity to free himself from her grasp, "Buffy,
go."
He limped as best he could away while the slayer took advantage of
Druscilla's surprise and kicked her in the stomach. The female vampire
hit a nearby tree, but was immediately able to stand up.
Angrily and thoughtlessly, she lunged towards the slayer and then
realized that in her enemy's hand grasped a stake. Before she could stop
herself, or even think to stop, the sharp apex of the wooden weaponry was
deep within the core of her black heart.
"Good-bye, Druscilla," Buffy said as the demon shattered to ashes.
The slayer exhaled deeply and wondered how it was that she had
accomplished this so easily. How was it that this tormenter had come and
gone so quickly? Before she could contemplate any further, she heard a
tired, pained voice coming from behind her.
"Xanderà" she said quickly turning around and seeing her former boyfriend
trying to stand up, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, the rehab on my leg got pushed back a few months, butàuhàI think
I'll live," he said with a pained smile.
Buffy returned with a light grin and helped him up, "Come on, let's get
you home. Can you walk?"
"Yeah, just barely," he nodded and looked at her quietly for a moment as
they began to walk out of the cemetery.
"What?" she asked.
He shook his head, "Nothingàjust - thanks."
"No problem, all in the night's work for a slayer," she said.
"I would think you get some brownie points for the slaying Druscilla," he
replied quickly.
"Don't think it quite works that way, Xander," Buffy said with a smile
and paused as her grin widened, "Do you realize we're talking?"
"Well, what do you know? We are," he said with a soft chuckle, "Go
figure, it takes me almost dying - again - for us to strike up a
conversation. Go Hellmouth!"
"How did Dru get to you, anyway?" she asked, "I mean, why on earth were
you out at one?"
"I was out for a midnight stroll. Couldn't exactly sleep and haven't
been able to sinceà" he trailed and continued again, "Since awhile.
Then, I figured, I might as well stop by your patrol and give you
something I've been meaning to return."
They stopped walking as Xander pulled a white envelope from his coat
pocket and handed it to her.
She looked at it for a moment and said, "It's the note I left youàbefore
I went and killed Angelus. You never opened itàwhy?"
He took a deep breath and said, "I guess I didn't want to know what you
would tell me moments before you could have possibly died. I wasn't sure
I wanted to know and I wasn't sure I was ready to know, either."
She handed him back the envelope, "Open it."
"But I-"
"Please, just - just open it," she said.
Xander looked at the envelope and at her before he opened it. He pulled
out the plain white paper and read the simple script aloud, "I love you."
He turned to look at her and she met his eyes with a smile, "Scary, huh?"
When he didn't answer her, she continued, "So, where do we stand,
Xander?"
"I don't know," he replied shaking his head, "Buffy, I can't forget that
dayàI just can't. I want to, but it happened. Whatever the
circumstances, the one thing that I was so scared of happening the entire
time we were datingàhappened."
"Xander, if I could change that, I would," she said, "But I can't, as
much as you can't forget. I'm not asking you to forget what happened,
but to just know that I didn't mean it to happen."
He looked at her and said, "I'm glad you're not asking me to forget
because I'm not going to try to."
His response caused her steady glance to falter, "What do you mean?"
"I mean, I don't need to forget. Buffy, that night I had to leave
youàleave a part of meàleave my heart behind. That was one of the
hardest things I had to do and to find out that - again - the Hellmouth
was responsible for it, it nearly drove me out of my mind. But there's
one thing that doing that - hurting like that - made me realize. It made
me realize that if ever I was so lucky enough to have the chance to love
you again and have you love me, I'd take that chance in a heart beat. It
made me realize that although the chance of hurting like that might
happen, I wouldn't care. Pain or no pain, I love you Buffy." And with
that, he kissed her.
*~*~*
>From afar, Spike sat in his dark car watching the slayer and her white
knight. True love had succeeded once again, but not all true love. In
the midst of their rekindling, he had lost Druscilla - his love, his
life. His life had crumbled when her form had shattered into ashes at
the point of the slayer's stake. He would have attacked then and there,
but he was still too weak to stand on his legs for very long.
As he sat looking at them, he was glad that he was not yet ready to
battle the slayer - to avenge the death of Druscilla. After all, love
deserved some time of peace because time makes things grow stronger -
makes love grow stronger. So he would give them their time - their time
of happiness and of love - only to destroy it when it would hurt the
most. So that when he killed the slayer, there would be one that knew
his pain - felt his pain - suffer in life as he was suffering.
___________________________________________________________________
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------------------------------
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