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buffyfic-digest       Saturday, August 15 1998       Volume 02 : Number 302



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: Thinking to Much Can Hurt 1/1
       BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (17a/17)
       BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (17b/17)

See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1998 04:24:24 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Thinking to Much Can Hurt 1/1

TITLE: Thinking to Much Can Hurt
 AUTHOR: Azziel Savament
 EMAIL:  [e-mail]
 DISTRIBUTION:  Ask, and all the people who have my other stuff archived
 RATING: PG-14
 SUMMARY: Buffy has become sick and all Angel can think of is death.  Angel
POV.
 FEEDBACK: I live for it if you don't send it, I'll jump.  I'm not playing
I'll jump and that will be the end of all my stories
 DISCLAIMER: These characters belong to an evil man named Joss Whedon.
NOTE: All I can say is, Fluff.

Sometimes I wonder why I am here, who am I, and why was I chosen to be
immoral?  I ask myself those questions every day.  I can help but wonder, but
when those thoughts enter my mind so do the thoughts of what I have done.  All
the hurts that I've caused, then I brood.  For days sometimes, or until I see
her.  Buffy.  When I see her all the pain, all the guilt, and the sins that I
have committed just washes away.  I don't know what I would do without her, I
still can't figure out how I ever lived without her.  But today I got the
scare of my life.

It was just after sun set Giles called me, and told me that she was in the
hospital.  I didn't even listen to him to find out why, all I knew at that
moment was that she was there, and I had to go to her.  Good thing the sun was
set, or I would have been in an ash tray for my carelessness.  As I rushed
there, all I could think was, 'O my go she's dying.'  As soon as entered the
hospital I meet by the sent of death, and my heart froze.  I begged to god
that I don't sense that when I see Buffy.  What an irony a demon begging to
god.

I soon saw Giles sitting in the waiting room nursing a cup of coffee.  With
supernatural speed I went up to him, and begin.  "Where's Buffy?"

"Angel, I think you should sit down first, I don't think she is ready to seen
you yet."  Giles seemed unfazed at the face that his slayer was in the
hospital.  So against my better judgment I sat down.  I needed to know what
was wrong, and why wouldn't she want to see me.

"What Happened?"  Was my next question?  I had neglected to find out before
when Giles had called, and now was a good time as any.  Even though in the
back of my mind something was screaming, 'DON'T ASK THAT QUESTION!'
but I still did.

"Well, today during school Buffy collapsed.  At first the when we brought her
to the hospital the doctors could not find anything wrong with her, but
then..."  Why did he stop?  Doesn't he know that I would rip my own heart out
for her, and serve it to her on a silver plater!  "I don't know how to say
this Angel, but..."  Again with the stopping, this is driving me crazy.  So
instead of waiting for Giles to finish I got up, and went over to the front
desk and ask for her room number.  The women gave me Buffy's room number with
a smile, and before Giles could have stopped me I was off.  But you know what
the oddest thing of all was, Giles never tried to stop me.  Hell he didn't
even get up when I did.

When I finally reached her room my heart had stopped, figuratively of course.
As I placed my hand on the door knob I silently prayed that she wasn't hooked
up to any machines.  I didn't know if I could have bared to see her like that,
but when I enter the room I saw none of that.  Matter of fact she was getting
dressed.  She quickly turn when she heard the door open, and when she saw me
she launched herself into my arms.  It seemed she was grasping me for dear
life.

All I could think about was 'If she is fine what is she still doing in the
hospital?'  "What's wrong?"  I whispered in her ear and slowly pulled her off
of me.

She looked up at he with big innocent eyes and spoke.  "Guess what?"

I was a little upset by then, but as she looked at me with those eyes, and I
couldn't help myself.  So I gave in to her little game.  "What?"  I said with
an amused grin.

"You are going to be a daddy?" 'WHAT!!!!!!'  Was all that I could think.  I'm
a vampire for Christ sake, and she is the slayer.  O no, that explains it,
only in this screwed up world could a vampire have a child, but only with the
slayer.  Making the impossible happen.  All I did was stare at her, I think
she was getting a little angered at my silence.  "Angel, didn't you hear me,
I'm pregnant with your baby."

I really did not want to piss her off, but before I could censor myself with
my reaction, it came out.  "WHAT?"

"You heard me pregnant.  Aren't you happy."

I looked at the floor for a moment and re-asked myself that question 'Was I
happy?'  Yes, I was, but I was still so floored by the whole thing I could not
react.

"ANGEL!"  O shit, she was getting piss.  One thing a vampire never wants to do
is piss a slayer off.  So only one thing came to mind, the only thing I knew
that I could do to show her how happy I was, and how much I love her.

Before she could say my name again I grabbed her and kissed her passionately.
I still didn't know what to say, so I said the first thing that came into my
head.  "I love you."  With those last words my fear left me, and for the first
time in 240 some odd years in was really confused.

;-)The End

HEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHHHEHH




------------------------------

Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1998 01:56:20 PDT
From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (17a/17)

Title: Repercussions
Author: Andrea
e-mail: [e-mail]
disclaimers: These characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy, the WB, etc. They are not mine.
distribution: Sure, just tell me where.
feedback: Please, please, please. :)
thanks: To Rachel, for making this a much better story than it started
out being. To Christine for keeping me inspired to finish it, and to
Jenn, for all the grammar help and morale boosting. :)

Note: This was supposed to be posted before the epilogue, but it doesn't
appear to have been sent.


Angel's Apartment
August 21, 1998

Buffy stared at Angel's back for a long time after the door closed
behind Xander and Cordelia, the words Xander had said echoing through
her head as she realized that he was right, the ordeal was nowhere near
over yet. Angel had suffered so much that she wasn't sure if he could
readjust. She tried to ignore the fear that wanted to overtake her. Not
a fear of Angel, but for him. Her stomach rolled at the thought of the
torture he must have gone through in the last few months. Closing her
eyes she tried to ignore the new guilt she felt over the time she had
wasted by running away.

She ran her hands along his sides, wishing he would move, make some
sound that she could respond to, or that she could turn him over, look
into the eyes she had never thought she would see again. Fresh tears
slipped out of her eyes as she realized she couldn't do it. She couldn't
face him. There was no way to apologize to him for what her actions had
put him through. The memories of what happened in the months when the
demon was in control would live forever, he would always feel guilt for
them. Holding back the sobs that wanted to escape she touched him
everywhere she could reach, wanting to soften the tenseness she felt in
his muscles, take away the pain that caused his body to tremble.

*I'm sorry* The words she needed to say to him kept running through her
head. She whispered the words softly into his back, and then chastised
herself, knowing that she owed it to him to say it to his face, not
muttered into his back like a coward. She pulled back from him slowly,
unwilling to let go completely, but needing to do it before she lost her
courage. Pulling on his shoulders, she turned him to face her, her heart
pounding. He didn't open his eyes, but his face was set with pain.
Holding back her own tears, she traced the line made by his on his face.
Her lips trembling at the misery she knew he felt and struggling to hold
back her own guilt she started to speak. "Angel, it's me... Buffy. I'm
sorry." Her voice caught on the smallness of the words, as if there were
words big enough to show him how sorry she was. "I...I...I'm just so
sorry."

She could feel him stiffening under her arms, mentally pulling away from
her before he made a sound. She held on tighter, refusing to give him
the freedom he wanted. He opened his eyes and she pulled back, ripped
apart by the pain she saw there. Pain she was responsible for. How could
she ever fix anguish this immense? Her heart shattered at the torment in
his eyes, the despair she could see there.  The tears started to roll
slowly down her face again, her chin trembling as she struggled to keep
her eyes locked on his. She wanted nothing more than to turn away and
hide from her guilt. Instead she watched him search for words, his mouth
opening slowly only to shut again as fresh tears rolled down his face.
Then finally, his words choked out between tears, "No. Nothing to be
sorry for. It's my fault. All of it."

She stared at him, wondering why the world had been so unkind to him.
She felt dread running through her, she was so afraid that he would
never believe he wasn't responsible for everything. Forcing a smile she
spoke reassuringly to him, needing him to understand that he should be
angry with her. "No. The demon was responsible for what was done to you.
I was responsible for letting the demon free.  It's mine."

Angel pushed her away abruptly, surprising her with the force he used.
Struggling to his feet he walked away from her, his face contorted.
"Buffy, never. I was a vampire long before you were born, I was a
vampire before your parents were born and soul or not I knew that I
should never get close to anyone, ever." He stared into her eyes, his
entire body tense. The despair on his face increasing as he continued. "
I never deserved to feel love again. I knew that and I forgot it and you
paid. You all paid because of my selfishness. And I will never forgive
myself that. Never."

"No." Buffy's voice was taunt, her face set. "This is not your fault. I
know you Angel, I know who you are. You didn't hurt me. You didn't hurt
anyone."

"I killed Jenny Calendar." His voice broke as he spoke the words.
Running his hands through his hair he looked wildly around the room, his
eyes searching out every corner, searching for escape.

Buffy took a shaky breath and spoke, "You didn't. The demon did. When
you were in control you saved her life."

Angel laughed, his voice bordering on madness. Spinning around he walked
over to the desk and picked up a scrapbook. Opening it he brought it
over to Buffy. Holding it, he shook it at her, as if it was the proof he
needed. Then he threw it on her lap, as if he couldn't bear to touch it
for one second longer.  "See? I am the demon. The same hand that drew
those pictures drew the ones meant to terrify you and destroy Giles."

Buffy opened the book slowly, her heart pounding. She gasped as she
looked at the first picture, tears spilling down her cheeks as she
looked through the rest of the book. Pictures of her filled almost every
page,  of her alone, her with Willow and Xander. Looking up from the
pages Buffy smiled softly at him as she whispered, "Have you looked at
these?  These pictures were drawn with love, not hate. That's the
difference." Standing she walked over to him, grasping him by the
shoulders. "Angel, it wasn't you."

"Yes it was." He spoke quietly pulling away from her; and going over to
the bed and sitting on it. "It was all mine."

Still holding the book she walked over to him, sitting down beside him.
As her leg touched him, he flinched away, and Buffy ignored the pain she
felt at his withdrawal. Opening the book to a picture of her sitting
with Xander and Willow at the Bronze she pulled his hand towards the
page until he was touching the picture. "Look. Look at Willow, you
captured everything about her.  Her innocence and her beauty, and her
strength. And Xander, you have his bravado and his kindness." She looked
from the picture to him, wanting him to understand what she saw in the
pictures. " No demon could put that much love into a drawing, no demon
could feel that much love."

"You forget I remember drawing you while you slept. I remember sitting
beside you and being so happy thinking about the fear you would feel in
the morning."  His voice was dull.

Carefully she put her hand over his and looked down, wrapping her
fingers with his she slowly traced over the image of her face drawn in
pencil on the page, "Well,  then remember it. Did I look like this?" She
calmed her voice, speaking softly. "You make me look strong and brave
and loved. Every line shows how much I was loved." She stared at him,
her eyes begging him to see what she saw on the page in front of her. "
Can't you see it?"  Her voice was pleading now, but she didn't care. Her
only purpose was to make him see that it wasn't him. She had been given
another chance, they both had and she had to convince him to take it.

"I can see all of it Buffy. I see the poetry written by a lovesick
killer, the pretty pictures drawn by a monster. I see what I stole from
you. The innocence I stole from Willow, the heart I stole from Giles. I
see everything."  Grabbing the book from her he hurled it across the
room and then rising quickly from the bed he walked over to his desk.
Picking up the piles of papers that lay on it he began ripping them up,
letting everything fall to the floor. When he spoke again his voice
sounded like a stranger's, totally without hope. "Most of all I see the
love I stole from you. Love I didn't deserve. Can't you see what I took?
You should look at the picture. See the beautiful girl I drew." Pausing,
the anger in his expression changing to sadness.  "The one whose eyes
weren't haunted with regret and pain."

"Angel..." Her voice whispered weakly towards him, then faded away,
letting him continue.

"I can't say sorry and make everything go away." His voice was thick
with pain now, his whole body defeated. " I can't pretend I'm not a
killer. Or that I deserve to love." He stood across the room from her,
his eyes pleading with her to walk away.

"Angel." Her voice was begging him now, "I love you."

"And I love you." He walked closer to her, the words of love having no
effect on the pain in his face,  the despair in his eyes.  Standing
inside the circle that he had come back through he spoke, his voice
harsh. "That doesn't mean that all the horror didn't happen.  What do
you want? Should we just ignore it?" He stared at her as if she was a
stranger to him. " I get to kill without retribution?  There are no
consequences?"

Buffy stared at him for a moment, her face disbelieving. Then she jumped
to her feet, pacing around the apartment, anger raging inside of her.
How dare he pretend that neither of them had paid? He had nothing to pay
for and he still paid.  She stopped suddenly, turning to face him,
speaking loudly, her voice furious. "No consequences? None? You went to
Hell. I went crazy. There were consequences. And we have to live with
it. With all of it. But that doesn't mean we can't be together. Nothing
means that to me." She stopped talking, her body heaving.

She watched his face carefully to see if her words could break through
the pain he was wrapped in. He didn't say anything so she pressed on,
her voice no longer angry.  "I live with death every day. I live with
every death the demon caused. I live with the fact that I didn't destroy
your body as soon as you left it." She waited for some sign of
understanding, some sign that he could hear her.  She had to be able to
tell him this, here and now.  She needed him to understand that the
guilt should always be hers. Speaking softly she continued. " I betrayed
my duty when I didn't kill you. And the fault is mine, not yours, so
don't try and take it. I'm the slayer and I failed." She paused for a
moment feeling the guilt surge through her, but ignoring it she finished
her confession. "And I'm happy about it. I'm glad you're back. I'm glad
I still have you to love. If I can live with that, why can't you live
with something that isn't your fault."

"Buffy...I'm so sorry" His face was crumbling and she cursed herself for
her careless words. She should have known he would take them as more to
feel guilty about.

Taking a deep breath she tried to explain what she had meant, in a way
that he couldn't blame himself for. Her hands reached towards him as she
spoke.  "Angel, listen to me please. You have to hear me. You were gone
and I didn't kill the demon." The tears spilled down her face as she
spoke. The horror she felt at causing him more pain pushed aside so she
could keep her voice calm. "I wanted you back too badly and I didn't
think there was anyway for you to come back and I still couldn't kill
you." Her hands touched his arms and he stood looking down at her. She
stared up into his eyes, her eyes pleading desperately for him to
believe her words. "That isn't your fault, it can't be. You weren't
there. I waited.  I hesitated, you did nothing wrong."

Angel stared at her for a moment before carefully backing away from her.
Walking slowly over to the bad Angel collapsed onto it, his face shaken,
"I'm so sorry you have to live with that Buffy. I'm sorry I put you
through that."

Buffy stood silent for a moment waiting for him to continue speaking.
She watched him carefully, but as he dropped his head into his hands and
began crying she realized he wasn't going to say anything else. Her
voice was soft with sadness as she spoke to him again. "Sorry? Put me
through it? And how did you do that?" She paused, struggling to control
the sudden surge of anger she felt. Her hands were clenched into fists
at her side as she continued speaking, her voice laced with a trace of
anger that she couldn't hide. " You knew that if we had made love you
would lose your soul? You planned it?" She stood directly in front of
him now, her face red with anger. "You made me fall in love with you so
that when you started killing my friends it would hurt more?" She
paused, panting for breath, shocked at the depth of her anger.

"Buffy." His voice was a plea.

"No. Angel. You owe me this." She stared at him, her sudden burst of
anger forgotten. She closed her eyes, fighting for control. She couldn't
lose it in front of him, couldn't give him even one more thing to blame
himself for. "I lost everything and now I have a chance to have it back.
I won't give it up, not for something that was beyond our control."
Buffy blew out a breath, trying to calm herself. Telling herself that
losing her composure or bursting into tears was not going to help her
convince him that he could live with what had happened.

He sat quietly for a moment, his face still hidden in his hands.
Shifting from foot to foot she waited for him to speak, afraid that she
had pushed him even farther away. Lifting his head slowly he looked at
her, his face questioning, "Why do you still want this?"

******

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1998 01:57:33 PDT
From: "Andrea Newbery" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Repercussions, (17b/17)

disclaimers in part 17b.

****

Her heart raced at his words, but how could she convince him that life
without him wasn't possible for her? Tell him that she'd tried life
without him and didn't ever want to do it again? Tell him that he was
the only person who she could run to when everyone else ran to her? Tell
him that he was her safety and her protector? That he made her pulse
race and her heart sing? How could she tell him that there was nothing
that could make her stop loving him, nothing that would make her turn
away from him.  Her voice shaking with the conviction in her words she
spoke clearly, "Because I love you. I'll always love you."

Angel looked at her, his face showing his conflicting emotions, the war
he was raging with himself. Speaking carefully his voice frightened, he
whispered the words so softly she barely heard him. "I love you too.
Always." Reaching up he touched her hand, holding onto her fingers as if
they were his lifeline. His voice was louder when he spoke again. " But
what if I hurt you again? I can't take that chance. Ever."

Buffy listened to his words, trying to keep the joy she felt off her
face. Kneeling down in front of him she took his hands and placed them
on her chest. "Do you feel my heart? It's beating because you saved my
life. I would have been dead long before we ever fell in love if you
hadn't saved me."

"Buffy." He spoke quickly, trying to pull his hands away, but she held
them tightly to her.

"No, Angel. Listen to me." Her voice was more forceful now. She needed
him to remember all the good things he had done. "If you hadn't told me
about the Harvest Giles wouldn't have known what to look for. And what
about the Three? I would have died for sure. And the night I did die..."

"Xander saved you. I couldn't, I'm dead." Angel's voice was tight, his
self-hatred showing on his face.

"Xander never would have found me without you." Tightening her grip on
his hands she pulled them up to her lips, allowing herself the pleasure
of kissing him, feeling his skin under hers.  When he tried to pull them
back she just held tighter, refusing to give him up. Her voice muffled
against his skin she continued, "Angel, think of all the times I would
never have made it without back-up? Are you just going to leave me on my
own?"

She watched his face as he realized what she was saying. His voice angry
he spoke, "You're trying to say that if I leave and you die it's my
fault."

She pulled away from his hands, her expression defiant. Speaking in a
voice that was much more confident than she felt she answered him, "You
can take responsibility for everything that happened when you were gone,
then you can take responsibility for everything that happens after you
leave."

Violently pulling his hands away he glared at her.  Then staring into
her eyes he whispered, "I was never going to go far. I'll always be
here, watching you. I'll just stay in the shadows and not interfere in
your life. You should love someone like Xander, have babies and grow
old. I can picture you on your porch having lived a long life with your
children and grandchildren surrounding you."

She could feel the tears welling in her eyes again. Shaking her head at
him she refuted his words. "Even if I didn't love you, that would never
happen. You know that Angel. I'm not going to grow old, I'm not going to
have babies. Some night, I'm not going to win against the bad guys. I'm
not going to pay enough attention or maybe I'll be overmatched. I don't
know how, but I will die. And when I do, I want to die knowing that we
loved each other. I want to die knowing that I loved completely and that
I was loved completely. Angel, I don't get the babies and the porch and
the growing old, but I have love. And I'm not going to give that up
too." She stared at him, refusing to let him look away from her.

"Buffy, all I can offer you is death and pain." Angel's voice was ragged
with emotion. Reaching out he touched her hair, his hands shaking as he
touched her.

"No, that's all my duty offers me." She leaned into his hand, feeling a
burst of joy run through her because he had touched her. Smiling
tentatively she continued. "You offer me joy and hope. The guilt and
regret we've got to face down can be gotten through, but I can't do it
on my own and I don't think you can either." She watched him, not
knowing what she would do if he turned her away now. She didn't know
what else she could say to make him understand. Her entire body
trembling she waited for him to speak.

He slowly put his hands on her face, his eyes tormented. Gently he
touched her face, cupping it in both his hands. His voice was unsure as
he whispered his words. "I can't do it. I can't leave you. I should, but
I can't."

Buffy let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding, feeling
the fear leaving her. She cried then, dropping her face onto his lap.
Her arms wrapped around his waist she sobbed uncontrollably, feeling his
hands on her back, comforting her. When she could finally contain her
tears she pulled back from his lap, taking big gulps of air as she tried
to speak.  His face was shuttered again, the guilt surrounding him so
heavily that she could almost see it.  She smiled shakily at him, her
voice husky and low. "I was so afraid that you wouldn't give us this
chance. I was so afraid that I would never get to see you again." The
tears streaming down her face again she climbed up on the bad beside him
and wrapped her arms around his neck, whispering her words into his ear.
"I didn't think I would ever hold you again."

His arms moved slowly around her back, his touch light at first, but as
she continued hugging him his arms tightened. Until finally they were
holding each other in an embrace so tight that Buffy was struggling for
air. He released her slowly, pushing her away so that he could look into
her face. He smiled then, letting his love for her shine through the
guilt that lined his face.  He reached out and gently wiped her tears
away, his fingers lingering on her face. His voice was thick with
emotion when he spoke to her.  "I...I love you. You are everything to
me."

She couldn't speak then, she just nodded as she folded her arms around
him again, her head laying on his shoulder. She closed her eyes and let
herself forget everything that was still ahead of them. All the guilt
and pain that still had to be dealt with, but she couldnÆt think of it
now. She let herself relax and feel safe for the first time since Angel
had lost his soul. His arms around her were strong and they promised to
protect her.

He loosened his grip so slowly she wasn't aware of it until his arms
released her and he got up to stand in front of her. She stared at him,
her face puzzled. His hand reached out to touch her face again, as if he
needed to touch her to prove she was real. His voice regretful he began
to speak. "I have to leave. I'll be back, I...I just need to fix some
things."

She stared at him, her stomach dropping.  Her mind raced with images of
a life spent alone, of him never coming back to her. Wrapping her arms
around herself to ward off the sudden chill she felt she nodded at him.
Her heart was breaking at the thought of him leaving her, but she kept
the pain out of her voice as she questioned him. "What do you need to
do? I can help you." Her voice broke as she spoke. "Please don't go. I
just got you back. I need you here. Angel..."

"I need to do this Buffy. I'm coming back, I promise. I will never leave
you again, but I have to do this. I have to." His voice was calm and
reassuring as he spoke, his hands cupped around her face, forcing her to
look at him. "If I can make just one thing better for you, I have to do
it. And I need to talk to Whistler."

"Why?" She couldn't keep the pleading from her voice as she stared up at
him. Climbing to her feet she stood in front of him, their bodies only
inches apart.

"The curse. I have to know if the curse has an escape clause." He looked
down at the floor as he spoke the words, his voice full of shame.

"But Willow did the curse. She could tell you. I don't think it has a
moment of happiness clause." She looked at him, reminded once again of
the pain they had to work through. She dropped her arms down to her
sides, not saying that she doubted that anything could make him happy,
make him forget the new guilt he felt. The other guilt had been a
hundred years old, this guilt was new and it involved her. As much as
she wanted him to believe it wasn't his fault she knew every time he
looked at her he would remember.

"Whistler will know. I have to be sure Buffy." He looked up at her, his
eyes begging her to understand how afraid he was of hurting her again.
He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "But if it ever breaks, if
I ever lose my soul again, promise me that you'll kill me quickly Buffy.
Give me your word."

She looked at him, her face horrified, "But...we know the curse now."

"Promise me that you will never let me take another life, please Buffy.
I can't live knowing there is that chance." His face was set. "I have to
be sure that what happened before will never happen again. I can't do it
again." His jaw was stiff as he waited for her answer.

"I promise." Reaching up she hugged him to her, her voice clear. Holding
him tightly to her she let fresh tears fall. "I promise."

His arms tightened around her and she could feel some of the tenseness
leaving him. Huddled together they held onto each other, letting the
words wait until he returned. He pulled away first, his face regretful.
"I have to go."

She shut her eyes for a moment then opened them and looked at him. "Will
it be long? Will you be back soon?"

"As soon as I can." He pushed the hair that had fallen onto her face
away and slowly leaned towards her. Kissing her lightly on the forehead
then resting his face in her shoulder for a moment before stepping away
from her.

She moved closer to him, closing the distance he had created between
them. Reaching up her hand to touch his face she ran her fingers along
his lips before standing on her toes to press her lips against him.  He
shuddered when her lips touched his and then his arms closed around her,
pulling her tighter to him. They melted into each other, forgetting
everything but how much they loved each other. Angel broke the kiss, his
eyes soft with love. Running his hand along her cheek he looked at her,
"We have a lot to talk about. We can't ignore it."

"I know. When you get back. I love you.ö Trying not to cry at the
thought of letting go of him for even a moment, she forced a small smile
onto her face.

"I love you." Quickly kissing her on the cheek he disappeared through
his door leaving her standing alone in his apartment.

She looked around the room, at the old memories and the new ones they
would make. She couldn't think of the problems that were in front of
them, tonight she was too thankful that they had a future together to be
anything but happy. Wiping the few tears that had escaped off her face
she walked towards the same door, heading home to face her mother.
Smiling to herself she realized it was after three. Shaking her head she
walked away from Angel's apartment, "I guess it's back to climbing in
through windows already."

*********



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