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From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest)
To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com
Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #293
Reply-To: $SENDER
Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com
Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com
Precedence: bulk
buffyfic-digest Tuesday, August 11 1998 Volume 02 : Number 293
In this issue:
BUFFYFIC: The Invasion (1/5)
BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 13/?
BUFFYFIC: Chronicles #23
BUFFYFIC: Tears that will never fall (1/1)
See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 10 Aug 1998 05:44:58 -0700
From: NightHunter <LJEFFERS@Highland.Net>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: The Invasion (1/5)
The Invasion (1/5)
By NightHunter <LJEFFERS@HIGHLAND.NET>
DISCLAIMER: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and its characters
belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, WB, and Fox....
I'm Just borrowing them. The story how ever is all mine.
Rating PG
NOTE: I Know the characters may look like their not quite their
selves but bear with me it will all work out.
Time Line: Her Darkest Hour Parts 1-3 / The Invasion / Her
Darkest Hour epilog / The News / Buffy & Godzilla Vs. The Giant
Space Vampire / The Final Battle
*****************************************************
Giles enters the library to find Buffy and Xander in a lip lock. As
usual he grabs her shoulder and spins her around.
"Enough! It's time to get to work" he started to say.
Buffy, using her slayer strength, threw Giles across the room. The
sound of broken bones crunching then, doing a double back flip,
lands right in front of his face (giving him a good view of just how
short her skirt was).
"Listen G-man, I'm the Slayer and your the Watcher, so unless you have
some
news about how to help us take over this rat infested town then shut the
hell
up and watch" said Buffy as she reached around behind her and pulled
Xander
back into the kiss.
"Remember what I told you Xand. My place tonight. Another
damn day of this school, I need a little lover tiger." said Buffy as she
walked out the door her hips swaying from side to side in a very
provocative way.
After she had left Xander reached down to help Giles up.
"Man I wish she had never seen me. I mean I like sex just as good as
the
next person but my god eight times in one night! It kinduh makes
me wish that she hadn't killed her mother."
"Well Xander, I may just have found a way to make her very happy."
said Giles.
At that moment Willow Walked in the door wearing outfit that was
illegal in 49 of the 50 states.
Xander ran over to Willow and give her a very passionate kiss
which she started to return after a few seconds. Willow pushes
Xander back
"God Xander what if she seen us." said Willow
"I know, but it's so hard.....to see you everyday and not be able to
hold you like I use to." said Xander, tears starting to run down his
cheeks.
Meanwhile in a warehouse across town:
Spike enters the room to see Angel holding a bottle of blood.
"Bloody Slayer she should have just killed me. I mean, I loved her,
and she cut off my damn legs" yelled Angel throwing the bottle
across the room at Spike.
"Angel, shut up!" yelled Spike. "If she ever hears what you said she
may cut off something else that you would really miss."
"I don't care if she bloody..." Angel started to say when a arrow flew
through the air and into his heart, causing him the exploded into
dust.
Buffy does two back flips from the top of the warehouse landing in
front of Spike
"Well Spike, it seems you were right. Angel was talking about me. Oh
well I
will need someone to be in charge of the order. How about you Spike?"
Buffy
asked turning toward him with an evil gleam in her eyes.
"Whatever pleases you Slayer, I am and always will be your humble
servant." Spike replied as he lowered his head.
When he raised it seconds later Buffy was gone. She arrived home
just a few minutes before Xander arrived.
When Xander arrived at Buffy's house he slowly opened the door
shut and locked it. He started up the stairs, when he reached
Buffy's room he opened the door to see her standing there in a tight
leather body suit. It hugged her in all the right places, she quickly
grabbed Xander and through him on to the bed ripping off his
clothes. She started to kiss him. She stopped suddenly and slapped
him across the face hard.
"Damn you, you've been with her again haven't you. I may just have to
get rid of the competition."
"No! I'm sorry. I promise I'll never kiss her again, just please don't
hurt her!" cried Xander
"Well, that depends on just how good you are tonight." said Buffy.
Two hours later the phone started ringing, after the tenth ring Buffy
reached over and picked up the phone. "There had better be a
damn good reason for this call OR!" said Buffy
"We have a problem, Dru has just found a spell that allowed her to
located an alternate reality. Your not going to believe this, but it
appears that this Earth has a Slayer to and she's miss Goodie Two
Shoes." said Spike
"Ok, Get her over to the library. And on the way pick up that
damn Willow girl. Tell her it's time to show if she's worth keeping
alive. I'll be there in about..." Buffy turns looking at Xander "Ten
minutes. Looks like the Xand man may be good for one more time
around the block." Buffy said grabbing Xander and pulling him
under the covers.
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 10 Aug 1998 17:49:11 EDT
From: <TruPhile@aol.com>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Libidinous 13/?
Title~ Libidinous 13/?
Author~ Shani
Notes~ in psychoanalytlic theories, the libido is the driving force behind all
human actions
Summary~ A Buffy/Angel story with a few twists. Involves characters from
General Hospital, but yoiu donÆt have to watch GH to understand this fic. I
did change a thing or two around for you GH fans
Disclaimer~ All characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss
Whendon, Mutant Enemy Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, Sandollar Productions,
and 20th Century Fox. ôI Have Nothingö belongs to Whitney Houstonand can be
found on the bodyguard soundtrack. IÆve cut the song a bit, it repeats and
makes it really long. All characters of General hospital belong to ABC.
Chapter 13, I Have Nothing
< Share my life,
Take me for what I am.
'Cause I'll never change
All my colors for you.>
ôAngel?ö They heard Buffy say. ôAre...you told me that you were human...ö
They stared at her in disbelief. ôWhat?ö She asked.
Angel walked over to her. He reached out to touch her cheek, but his hand
went all the way through her face. She stepped back, frightened and confused.
She turned away from him and gasped. Buffy found herself standing in front of
the globe of light, containing her body and the cross.
< Take my love,
I'll never ask for too much,
Just all that you are
And everything that you do.>
The room was completely silent. Once again everyone was fixated on the
glowing image before them. Buffy was the first to break the silence. ôHow, I
mean...Giles, IÆm here, but IÆm there...Angel put his hand right through me.
Am I a ghost? Am I even me?ö
ôYouÆre not a ghost.ö Giles told her. ôAt least I donÆt think you are.ö He
added under his breath. ôWeÆll work this out, at least Arcanus is gone.ö He
said, trying to lighten the mood.
Buffy nodded. æSure weÆll work it out. HowÆs he gonna pull that off?Æ She
kept her mouth closed and walked away. Angel watched her go, then took after
her. She was still Buffy, and he loved her. He just thought maybe she needed
to be reminded...
< I don't really need to look
Very much further/farther,
I don't wanna have to go
Where you don't follow.
I will hold it back again,
This passion inside.
Can't run from myself,
There's nowhere to hide.>
ôBuffy...wait.ö Angel said, catching up to her.
ôAm I Buffy? Am I really? How do we know that? I canÆt even touch you.ö
She said, her voice lowering to a whisper. She put her hand through his, a
shimmering tear running down her cheek.
ôYou are. WeÆll figure out a way, Buff. I wonÆt rest until we do, until I
can touch you again. Remember... æIÆm human, but IÆm not alive without you.Æö
He wanted to kiss her, to hug her, to wipe the tears from her face.
ôI love you.ö She whispered. ôI love you.ö
< Don't make me close one more door,
I don't wanna hurt anymore.
Stay in my arms if you dare,
Or must I imagine you there.
Don't walk away from me.
I have nothing, nothing, nothing
If I don't have you>
He smiled at her. ôI love you too sweatheart and weÆre going to fix this.ö
She was laughing, it was good to see her laugh. ôWhat?ö
She smiled again. ôYouÆve never called me sweatheart. DonÆt get me wrong,
you can call me whatever you want...if youÆre good. I just didnÆt peg you for
the sweatheart kinda guy.ö
ôYou bring out some...interesting sides of me...ö
ôOk, enough. LetÆs get crackinÆ on the books.ö Xander interupted. He still
hated Angel for keeping he and Buffy apart. They both shot him nasty looks,
but walked towards the others anyway, her hand through his. For a moment,
they were happy.
< You see through,
Right to the heart of me.
You break down my walls
With the strength of your love.>
That moment didnÆt last long. Giles had a look on his face. One of those
looks that said æWeÆre in trouble, but I donÆt want you to panic.Æ
Buffy looked at everyone in turn. Xander and Willow looked as if they were
bracing themselves for the worst. Nikolas and Stefan just looked at
eachother, both a bit æout of the loop.Æ Angel looked at her, a mixture of
concern and love in his eyes. She finally looked at Giles. The same look
still on his face. ôCome on Giles, are you going to make us guess?ö She
asked him, knowing that if she didnÆt say something, no one would.
ôWell, it seems that some how, this is related to....um, the Masterö
< I never knew
Love like I've known it with you.
Will a memory survive,
One I can hold on to?>
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 10 Aug 1998 22:51:09 -0700
From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Chronicles #23
TITLE: Chronicles of the White Knight #23 Saying Goodbye
AUTHOR: Taygeta
E-MAIL: taygeta@juno.com
FEEDBACK: Very muchly wanted (bad or good...whatever the complaint)
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just tell me first.
RATING: PG
KEYWORDS: Buffy/Xander fanfic
DISCLAIMER: The characters portrayed in this fanfic and any such
reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series belong to their
creator, Joss Whedon, and their owners, Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui
Productions, Sanddollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox. In other
words, they do not belong to me. Copyright infringement not intended.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chronicles of the White Knight
#23 Saying Goodbye
By: Taygeta
The Bronze, as usual, was a misty atmosphere and everyone looked
in the boundaries of Happyàexcept for three particular teenagers that sat
at their regular table.
"Oh come on, man, cheer up," Oz tried as he looked at Xander's
depressed expression that was slowly, but surely becoming permanent, "You
can even make wolf jokes at me. Give me your best shot."
Xander gave Oz a Look, "As tempting as that sounds, Wolf Boy, I'd
rather notàI don't even know why I let you guys drag me to the Bronze,
anywayà"
"It was for your own good," insisted Willow with a sigh, "We
wouldn't have had to 'drag' you if you had come willingly. You've been
cooped up in that room of yours for God only knows how many weeks. I
mean, even your parents called me because they were worried. I even
heard a rumor from the teachers that you're actually doing your
homework."
"Maybe it's because I amàwhat do you think I'm going to do for
hours on end by myself?" he said.
"Precisely why you're here," she retorted, "I'm all for you doing
better in school, Xander, but I'd rather have you getting your usual C's
and D's and be nominally sane then how you are nowàbesides I think you're
wigging out the teachers."
He sighed as he turned the straw in his glass of soda and then
looked up at them and stood up, "I know you guys mean wellàand I know I'm
acting like Sunnydale's Resident Recluse, but I don't need this right
now. I don't need *people* right nowàeven if some times they are a
werewolf and a witch. I just need to be alone. I'll eventually pull
myself out of the trenches, and when that happens, I'll make sure to give
you guys a call. Catch ya later."
As he walked slowly away from them Oz turned to Willow, "You
think he's gonna be okay?"
"Eventually," she nodded, "except he won't be the same Alexander
Harris I've known all my lifeàthat's all."
The back door of the Bronze slammed loudly behind himàtwiceàand
curiously, Xander turned to see who was following him.
"Cordelia," he said.
"Xander," she returned as she walked towards him, "Haven't seen
you about the Bronze much. Surprised me, today, to see that you climbed
out of the rat hole you dug yourself into a few weeks agoàalthough
judging by your clothes, I don't think you found your way to a store
before that."
"As charming and charismatic as ever," he concluded, "What do you
want, Cordelia? Do you want to throw your windbag comments at me, about
how you knew it wouldn't last or about pitfalls or did you just feel that
age-old impulse to insult me? Whatever it isàI don't careàI really
don't. So, why don't you just go back to doing your "popular girl at the
Bronze" faτade and don't even bother?"
With that he began to walk away, but turned when he heard her
say, "I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry."
He frowned, "Sorryàfor what?"
"For just about everythingàfor Colin, for that stupid 'pitfall'
line, and believe it or not, about you and Buffy," she replied sincerely,
"I kinda saw a certain permanence to it."
"Wowàa rarity from Cor - never mindàthanks," he said, "I better
go, maybe I'll see you around?"
"If you find yourself outside, again, you can count on it," she
nodded, "AndàumàXander?"
"Yeah, Cordy?" he said smiling lightly as he used his coined
nickname for her.
Her eyes met his warmly, "No matter what's happened, no matter
who she's with right now, I really do think she still loves you."
Xander nodded in neither agreement nor argument, but just
acceptance and continued to tread where he had began initially. As his
feet pounded on the sidewalk bounded for home, he thought about what she
had told him, about how she was sure that Buffy loved him. As much as he
wanted to believe so, despite how Buffy had hurt him, but he couldn't.
Not after what happened after that phone callànot after meeting her and
talking her for that short, painful period of time that ended in
good-byesà
àHe exhaled deeply as he saw her in the distance in the usual
graveyard setting. He didn't know why he agreed to come meet with her on
her patrol when he knew that it would have been just as easy for what was
inevitable to occur on the phone. Xander had told her he'd think about
it, but as usual, he obliged.
"Hey," he said softly a few feet away from her.
She turned to see him and the corners of her mouth lifted
slightly, "Hey, yourselfàI was beginning to think you wouldn't show."
"Y'know I'd do anything you ask of me," he replied looking
straight into her eyes and when she noted that he meant what he said she
looked away.
She laughed nervously, "You're probably wondering why I asked you
here, right?"
"Actually, I have a pretty good idea as to why I'm here, but just
for the hell of askingàwhy am I here?" Xander said.
Her eyes fell from the floor and to his eyes, "I - I wanted to
explain myselfàwhat I did earlier."
"Explain? What's there to explain?" he asked with a shrug.
"Xander, don't be like this - "
"Don't be like what? Angry? Hurt?" he said as he shook his
head, "I'm sorry, Buffy, but I don't have your ability to make feelings
just go away."
"T-that's really harsh - " she tried to begin again, but
Xander's anger got the better of him.
"You want to talk about harsh? What do you call telling your
undead boyfriend former that you love him in front of your boyfriend and
then taking off without telling me anything? A simple, 'I'm sorry,'
would have sufficeàit would have hurt, but at least, it would have meant
you knew I was alive, or do you not care about the living anymore? What
you did was unexplainableàthere is nothing you can say to me that makes
it explainable."
Buffy took a deep breath as she looked at Xander's hard-lined
expression, "I care about you, Xander, and I realize that no matter how
hard I try to explain what I did, I wouldn't be able to because it was
wrong. I don't even know why you're hereàyou must hate me so much for
doing thatàfor leavingàwith Angelà"
She stopped as he gently lifted her chin so that her eyes met
eyes no longer angered, but soft and sadàhis eyes, "I don't hate you,
BuffyàI could never hate youàI lo - I could never hate you."
"I'm sorry, XanderàI am so sorry. I don't know why I did what I
did, but I saw him there and I justàeverything just kinda made my mind
all fuzzy. I justàI don't know how toà" she trailed off and turned away
as she felt her throat tighten and the onslaught of tears that were just
as soon blinked away.
He hadn't realized how much this would all hurt. Ever since she
had called, he had played this event in his mind, but there was nothing
that could have made him feel anything then, except for the numbnessàthe
coldness that had preceded his initial pain when she left with Angel.
And that pain couldn't even compare to how he felt now. He finally
perceived that he was really going to lose her and that no matter what he
did or say, there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing. Knowing
thatàand *feeling* thatàthe world - his world - stood at a standstill.
He didn't know how he was going to wake up in the morning anymore or what
he was going to think about when he went to sleep because for the longest
time it had been her. In these past few months, he had been able to
sayàto thinkàto feel in those moments that she loved him. And it seemed
to him that his first and last conscious thoughts of the day, not to
mention the countless in-between, would continue to be of heràof how much
he loved her, wanted her, and needed her. Just like it had been before,
except this time, he would be left with the knowledge that for awhile she
had loved him, but now she didn't.
"I don't want toàthis isn'tà" she continued to try and as Xander
saw her in this state, he just wanted to walk over to her, hold her, and
try to take away the pain he realized she was feeling in doing this. As
much as he wanted to hate her for what she was about to do to himàhe
couldn't. Even though he knew that he was the cause of her struggle and
knew whatever it was she was going to say to himàhow much it was going to
hurt himàhe wanted so bad to hold her and make it betteràand he did.
For a rare moment in his life, Xander acted on impulse. He
walked behind her, held her close, and took the time to remember the
moment that would probably be the last time she would ever be this close
to him, before whispering in her ear, "Buffy, just tell me
good-byeàthat's all you have to do. Tell me good-bye and I'll go. Not
because I want to, but because I want you to be happyàeven if it's not
going to be with me."
Buffy closed her eyes and took in the warmth of his embrace and
as she felt her eyes give way to her tears and slowly wiped those that
had fallen away from the sides of her face, she whispered,
"Good-byeàXander."
Reluctantly, his arms let go of her and immediately she felt a
chill and shivered, but only for a moment as she felt a familiar
Xander-scented jacket wrap over her shoulders. She turned around to
thank him, but he was gone.
Sighing, he finally looked back at her some distance away and
felt cold. Not from the lack of his jacket, but from the fact that he
felt something missingàwhether it was part of his heart or his whole
heart that was gone, he wasn't sure, but he was betting on the latter.
And before he continued the lonely tread home without her and his heart,
he whispered in the night, "Good-bye, BuffyàI love youà"
_____________________________________________________________________
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------------------------------
Date: Tue, 11 Aug 1998 01:23:31 -0700
From: lise <lisewilliams@geocities.com>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Tears that will never fall (1/1)
Title: Tears That will never fall
Author: Lise (lisewilliams@geocities.com)
Summary: I suppose a look back...waaay back..... at the events
surrounding Buffy's 17th year of living. (from Buffy's POV)
Disclaimer: Buffy et. al. belong to Joss Whedon, not me.
Feedback/Dist.: Sure, ask and ye shall get many thanks *g*
Notes: This is done in two pieces, and the parts are mixed up. (In
other words, a separation designates a jump in time from one to the
other...) This isn't the way Buffy is normally pictured in the show, or
in fics for that matter. In other words, I'm sorry in advance for
what's happened to her.... This is when she's twenty-seven (ten years
after "Becoming")-- she's fought, cried...what else is there?
- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TEARS THAT WILL NEVER FALL
She sat down quietly, and took a little breath. Watching the world walk
past her through dark glasses, the sun set slowly, she could almost
imagine that none of it was real, that none of it weighed anything. She
could almost just sit down, enjoy her drink in solitude, and absorb
without comment the events passing around her. She could almost push
from her mind the knowledge that the two men in the corner were made of
evil, and that she had to stop them. She gazed off in the distance,
then stood up to finish them off. It was her duty to, and she didn't
have anything else left.
=====
Legs rubbery, she let none of the nervous, frightened energy swirling
around her gut onto her face, leaving it instead deep down and surfacing
only in the trembling of her fingers. Retching wasn't an option, and
she told her stomach this fiercely. The man, was he a man?, sitting
next to her said nothing, and she refused to look in his eyes, the pain
and hurt too open. She could ignore her heart, and her emotions...but
not if she looked into his eyes. It was on her porch, the moment when
the last rays of sun were just fading, that they bathed in. Ignoring
everything else around her, she managed to put out a completely
emotionless facade, masquerading as the perfect statue. It was to let
him decide his course in life-- something she couldn't influence at
all.....
=====
Creeping up on the men silently, she pulled a knife out of her black
boot. Years of nothing but training made her stealthy, cunning, like a
panther-- a hunter looking for the kill. The only difference between
her and the ones she killed was that they-- by some force of magic or
sorcery-- were not fit to live. They were evil, demons. She sometimes
wondered if some of the demons she killed weren't like Whistler, but she
really didn't care any more. Each day, and each night, brought more of
the same, and for years the routine hadn't changed. She hadn't really
wanted it to. She existed. At one time, she had wanted to live.
=====
He pulled her close, and talked to her softly, trying to provoke some
type of response from her lips. She knew that it was tearing him up--
his emotions were far too visible to be completely ignored. But still
she refused to speak, refused to give. He wanted her to tell him how
she felt, but it would be by his decision alone that he choose to stay.
She wouldn't influence him. She succeeded in frightening him with her
lack of emotion. The truth was that she had cried, poured, given, and
given until she was wrung dry of everything. There was nothing left in
her heart but a gap. She couldn't let anything fill it until she knew
he wanted to stay, and that decision couldn't be based on her feelings.
If he chose to stay, then she might have a chance to heal. If not,
there were worse things than dying.
=====
The demons didn't have a chance-- her skill was honed, and ready at all
times. There were pitifully little people or fiends to challenge her
talent at fighting anymore. Nothing could beat her at the game, because
it was all she had. She didn't live for people, for contact. She spent
the last ten years doing nothing but Slaying. And she was likely to
continue that way.
Pulling the curved knife from the back of its skull, she wiped the blade
and re-sheathed it in her boot. Adjusting her leather jacket and her
sunglasses, she stepped back out onto the busy Parisian street.
Twilight crept in and hugged the people milling around, the people going
into the discos, the ones hurrying home. She walked absently towards
her room, keeping her senses open for any other demons or potentially
evil prey. It was habit, more than anything, that drew her into the
alley beside the shop, and it was instinct, a primal level of behavior,
that made her push the stake into the heart of the vampire hiding
there. Her mind was quietly elsewhere, drifting without real thoughts.
As calmly as she staked the creature, she brushed the dust from her
coat, and continued walking-- as always, in perfect form.
======
She waited for him to give some hint of his intentions-- some sign, some
word or clue....but nothing was forthcoming. She hugged her knees
lightly, trying desperately not to strain, but on some subconscious
level, she was already slowly letting everything go. It was only his
answer she waited for, only him that would stop this slow
transformation. When she'd died and he'd brought her back to life,
she'd been grateful, feeling stronger. When they kissed, she'd felt
safe. When they'd made love, she burned with love and passion. When he
reverted back to form, she sobbed. When he taunted her, laughed in her
very face, she got angry, and vowed to fight back. When she was forced
to kill him, her lover instead of a monster, she broke down, confused
and helpless. And when he came back, it was too much. She thought, and
cried, and thought, and tried to choose what to do, what course of
action...then realized that it wasn't her that needed to decide. Fate
had brought him to her doorstep again, and there were several paths they
could take-- but he needed to choose his path first. She could say
whatever she wanted, but he needed to decide where to be-- and he needed
to have the freedom to decide without her. They sat in silence for a
moment, and she could feel the tears on his cheeks from where she was
sitting. It hurt what little of her was left to know he felt this way,
because she loved him completely. Part of her screamed to wipe them
away, to comfort him and draw him close....
======
She reached the room she'd rented without any more incidents, which was
a little surprising. She lay down for her three hours of sleep in the
quiet nighttime hours, and drifted off. No dreams filled her mind and
tickled her senses, and no nightmares pulled at her sanity and made her
run from phantoms. She ceased to dream long ago-- the moment she ceased
to feel. Whatever mental process that had brought her to this present
form happened a long time ago...and it was far too late to reverse the
damage. It wasn't a thought that she really minded-- being numb had
many advantages, and being dead inside made doing her duty almost easy.
Nothing to worry about meant nothing on her mind but the destruction of
her target. She'd found that she'd doubled her strength in both
physical and mental talents.... compensation for losing her heart.
She'd killed the love and light in her life twice in twelve months, and
not even twenty years old. Most people would go mad after the pressure
of those events. She hadn't broken. Most people would break under the
constant threat of a stalker with no soul. She'd been ready to kill him
and smiled when she said it. Most people would grieve unhealthily when
they lost someone they loved dearly such a violent way-- killed them so
fiercely. She'd run, then recovered, understood, and come back. Not
one event in that year made her break. Not one event killed her. Then
he came back........
======
Part of her wanted to pull him in her arms and never let him go....
And then it was too late.
======
Opening her eyes just as the clock hit midnight, she thought for a
moment that she saw the bus pull away from her street again like it had
ten years ago. Blinking, the vision of him faded from her eyes, and sat
up calmly. She took her bag down from its place, and began to fill it
methodically with the night's weapons. Her hands, guided by instinct
and led by practice, went through the motions they did every night. Her
body was propelled down the street by some unseen force, seeking out the
monsters in the shadows and ridding the earth of them one by one.
Practice, and training, led her through her life. The autopilot was
working excellently, and there was no real reason in the near future for
anything to change. That bus had taken her last hope away ten years
ago. As it drove away, her emotions froze forever, and she just turned
back to go into the house, a blank look on her face. The rest of her
was sinking into the ground..... six feet under, buried and gone. She
didn't weep that he chose to go. She didn't weep that her mother
misunderstood why she was leaving again. She didn't weep for the lost
chance that they might have been happy together someday. She sat, and
didn't cry that he chose to leave her-- instead of him being savagely
ripped away. This time, it was a conscious choice of his, and she
accepted it because she loved him. But she didn't weep at all. No
tears fell from her faded blue eyes that day..... and none have fallen
since.
FIN
- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Manager of Sector Zeta www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/5713
Listowner of the Spikelist@onelist.com
http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/spikelist
"...You want to go a few rounds, I'm all for it.
You want to stop your boyfriend, we're gonna
have to play it a different way..." --Spike to Buffy, "Becoming II"
- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------
End of buffyfic-digest V2 #293
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