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From: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com (buffyfic-digest)
To: buffyfic-digest@lists.xmission.com
Subject: buffyfic-digest V2 #240
Reply-To: $SENDER
Sender: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com
Errors-To: owner-buffyfic@lists.xmission.com
Precedence: bulk
buffyfic-digest Monday, June 22 1998 Volume 02 : Number 240
In this issue:
BUFFYFIC: Strangers. Part 5 Concoulsion.
BUFFYFIC:Time Heals All 1/1
Re: BUFFYFIC: Monsters (1/1)
BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1)
Discuss: Re: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1)
Re: Discuss: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1)
BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 37)
Re: Discuss: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1)
See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 10:53:14 -0700
From: Jeff Weitkamp <weit@inlink.com>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Strangers. Part 5 Concoulsion.
Name: Strangers
Author: Jeff W
E-Mail: weit@inlink.com
Feedback: Yes please. Tell me anything. Was is good, bad, or what.
Distribution: Please ask and I'll say yes.
Spoilers: Becoming 1 & 2
Summary: This is a Buffy only story dealing with her experiences soon
after Becoming 2
Rating: PG
Time line: After Becoming part 2
Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story belong to Joss Wheadon
ect.
*************************
Strangers. Part 5 Concoulsion.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What could she have done that was
so bad? But I could tell that her mind was made up.
"Well, at least let me give you a ride into town."
"Sure." Bonnie said. "Let me see if Lila is ready. Then I'll tell
her that we will follow her into town."
Bonnie walked over to Lila and sat on the bench next her and they
began to talk.
I tried to think about what I could do for Bonnie. I couldn't think
of anything. I knew that she wouldn't take any money.
Then I got an idea. I got $200 dollars from my wallet. Then I
reached into the backseat for Bonnie's jacket. I put the money in one of
the side pockets. Hopefully she wouldn't discover it until it was too
late.
When I got back out of the car Bonnie and Lila had stood up and
walked to Lila's car still talking. Then they hugged and Lila got into
her car.
Bonnie walker over to me and got into the car. I did the same.
"After the doors closed Bonnie said. "She'll meet you at the
hospital in town."
"What did you tell her about you?" I asked.
"I said you had to drop me off before we got there."
I started the car and waited for Lila to pull out. Then I followed
her.
We drove in silence for a while. Then Bonnie said. "A friend of mine
was killed. I had just found her. Then the police got there and assumed
I did it. But I didn't I swear to you I didn't."
"I believe you." I said.
"Thank you." She said quietly. "I just wanted you to know."
Thanks." Was all I could think of to say.
In ten minutes, we were in town. I pulled into a parking lot and
said to Bonnie. "How's this?"
"This is fine." She said. "I can't thank you enough."
"And I thank you." I said smiling as I got out of the car.
Bonnie got out then reached into the back seat and grabbed her bag
and jacket. Then she walked around to my side of the car.
"Where will you go?" I asked.
"I don't know," she said. "I'm not even sure where I am."
"Well." I said. "See that intersection there."
Bonnie looked back and said, "Yes."
"Well if you go left there you will head west back towards home. If
you go right, you'll be heading east. Away from home and all your
problems."
Bonnie smiled. "Thanks again."
Then with her eyes getting a little moist she grabbed me in a tight
hug. I hugged back and blinked back a tear of my own.
"You take care of yourself." I said.
Bonnie released me and said. "You to." Then she kissed me on the
cheek.
Then I reached for my wallet and said. "Here you'll need some
money."
"No John. I won't take it. You've done more than enough for me
already."
"But." I said.
"John. You wouldn't make me hurt you, would you?" She said smiling.
"Well since you put it that way." I said putting my wallet away. I
should have been an actor I thought.
"I do." Bonnie replied.
"Now if you are ever in Nashville look me up."
Bonnie smiled and said. "I will. Thanks again."
Then she opened her bag and stuffed her jacket in side.
Good I thought. She won't find the money for a while.
Then with a wave she picked up the bag. Turned around and headed
towards the intersection.
In a moment, she reached it. She paused for a moment looking left
and right. Then she looked left and right again obviously trying to
decide which way to go.
I got into the car. Then looked back at Bonnie still standing there
looking left and right.
I crossed my fingers and thought to myself. Go left little girl. Go
home and face your problems. You're too young to be out on your own like
this. You should be worrying about where to shop, or who will ask you to
the big dance. Not where you will sleep. Or where your next meal is come
from.
I started to drive off but I stopped. I had to watch to see which
way she would go.
- ------
I stood at the intersection looking left and right. I couldn't
decide if I should go left, and back to Sunnydale? Or right away from
Sunnydale and everything else?
Left or right, which would it be Buffy?
Left would take me to home where I have a mom who hates me. Where I
am in constant danger and put my friends in danger. And where Everything
I see there will remind me of Angel. And every time I think of Angel, I
will remember how I betrayed him.
Right will take me away from Sunnydale, all the pain, and all the
danger. But could I run away forever?
The time with John had been good. I thought about things other than
my problems for a change. I also managed to do some real thinking about
my problems.
I also helped two people out of very bad situations. I guess no
matter where I go I'll always be the slayer. Killer of vampires and
demons. Protector of the masses.
I looked left and right again. Which would it be Summers? Turn left
and go west? Or turn right and go east.
Finally, I made up my mind. I picked up my bag with all my worldly
possessions and walked straight ahead to the north. Not west and not
east.
Why? I'm not totally sure. I guess that I've decided that I haven't
healed yet. There was still a lot of emotional damage to repair. Many
things to sort out in my mind.
I may not have healed but I think that now I'm at least ready to
start the healing process.
The End.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 13:33:54 EDT
From: <TruPhile@aol.com>
Subject: BUFFYFIC:Time Heals All 1/1
Title~ Time Heals All 1/1
Author~ Shani (TruPhile@aol.com)
Spoilers~ Becoming I and II
Summary/authors note~ I am a General Hospital addict, as well as a Buffy
addict. A GH character, Brenda Barrett (Vanessa Marcil) performed this
monologue that I thought would work really well with BuffyÆs feelings after
the events in Becoming I & II. This is not the exact monologue, IÆve changed
it around a bit to fit with the story.
Disclaimer~ Buffy and co. are property of Joss Whendon, Sandollar Productions,
etc...
Time Heals All
She felt as though she were living some one elseÆs life. In a way, she
supposed that it was true. She had become some one else. Well, she had
tried.
* * *
ôHold on a æsec!ö Pike yelled at who ever was knocking so loudly at his
apartment door. He pulled on a tee-shirt and yawned as he opened the door.
ôBuffy! What are you doing here?!? Is everything ok? Come in,ö he said,
now happy he had decided not to ignore his visitor.
* * *
She and Pike had talked for a long time. They had talked about old times,
new adventures and her reasonÆs for leaving. Buffy stopped. She sat down,
recalling what has happened.
* * *
Buffy laughed. ôSo, I guess to sum it all up, IÆm no longer Buffy,ö she
said.
ôWhat? IÆm not quite sure what you mean,ö a now very confused Pike
responded.
Buffy looked at him for a moment. ôUm, k...well itÆs like I made up this
character and now I going to *be* this character,ö she began to explain.
Pike interupted. ôCan you show her to me. The character you want to be I
mean.ö
Buffy looked down. ôAlright. well, sheÆs a young woman who woke up one
morning and said to herself, æIÆm going to leave. After breakfast IÆm just
going ot walk out my door and go to a bus...or a planeÆ and she went.ö
ôWhere did she go?ö Pike said, trying to understand what Buffy wanted, where
she planned on going.
ôAnywhere. As long as itÆs by the ocean.ö Buffy answered without hesitation.
ôWhy does she want to go? What does she think will happen?ö Pike again
interupted.
ôNo one will miss me,ö she began. At first, Pike was unsure whether Buffy
was referring to herslf or the character. ôFor days probably. And it just
wonÆt matter because IÆll be alone, in a house on the beach. Free from
everything, free of dissapointment. And years will pass...and I wonÆt even
notice because thereÆll be no pain to mark the time.ö Buffy looked as if she
were in a far off place. Finally Pike understood. She wasnÆt Buffy. SheÆs
wasnÆt talking about this character. Right now, Buffy was the character.
ôNo line from one day to the next. Only the bookes that I read. And the
characters will be my only acquaintances. Just fantasy people, with no
concerns beyond the pages of their story. And...theyÆll be so real to me.
More real than anyone in the town, who wonÆt even know me. IÆll just listen
to them, and they wonÆt even notice that my hair has turned white, and that I
have lines on my face. They wonÆt even notice that IÆve become an old woman.
And one day, IÆm going to wake up, and I wonÆt remember why I left. I wonÆt
remember if I took a bus...or a plane. IÆll wake up and believe that IÆve
alwys been there. And thatÆs the day, that I will step onto the sand...and
walk into the water. And the waves...will just boil arouns me. And the water
is so warm. And theyÆll pick me up and carry me. And IÆll leave again. This
time foreve. Gone without a trace.ö Buffy looked at Pike. Several tears ran
down her face.
ôHh..mmm..uh....ö was all Pike could say. He didnÆt know what to say to the
broken slayer. She couldnÆt just walk away. He knew it, and she would need
to realize that too.
* * *
She realized that now. She couldnÆt be that fanasy person. She was the
slayer. She would return to her watcher, her mother, her friends, her pain,
and her memories. And they would pass. Time would heal her wounds.
Something still bothered her about her visit with Pike.
* * *
ôBuffy,ö a soft voice whispered. She knew whose voice it was. She would
recognize it anywhere.
ôAngel? Where are you?ö Buffy called into the darkness. She couldnÆt
figure out where he was, where he had been. The memories hit her like a punch
in the stomach. He was in Hell. She had sent him to Hell.
ôNo,ö his voice soothed. ôItÆs not your fault. Come home, Buff. Come back
to me.ö
ôWhere are you?!?ö she called frentically.
ôWaiting.ö
Buffy woke up frantic and crying. She was unable to shake the feeling that
something had changed.
* * *
She was still unable to shake the feeling as she entered Sunnydale. She walk
blindly. She found herslf in front of his house. The feeling was stronger
here. She opened the door, slowly and carefully. Trying to prepare for the
pain the apartment would cause.
* * *
æShe knowsÆ he thought to himself as he waited. She may not know she knows,
but she knows. Just then, Angel turned to see the door slowly open. A smile
crossed his face. They had a lot to discuss, but it would work out. It had
to, look at all theyÆve been through. He watched her face go from pained to
shocked. He hald out his hand to her. They needed to talk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feed back please!! This is my first post.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 14:01:43 EDT
From: <Moonsrock@aol.com>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: Monsters (1/1)
if anyone on the buffyfic list actually gets this, could you please send any
fic from 6/16-today to me please?? I accidentally deleted all of my
mail.(Brilliant, huh?)
thankyou so much!
**Heather**(aka idiot girl)
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 14:51:12 -0700
From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1)
Name: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo
Author: Taygeta
Address: taygeta@juno.com
Feedback: Pretty Please with a cherry on top!
Uses in anything: Sure, but tell me first.
Spoiler: None
Disclaimer: The Buffy characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.
Rating: PG
*****************************
In Opacitatem Habitant Modo
By: Taygeta
I see blackness for there is nothing else to see. A cold and
lonely world inside this head of mine, in which I am left to exist upon
and salvage for images of memories long ago dead. What I would give to
see even the tiniest break of light in this dreary realm. To view a
faceàan image, but all I can do is see the murkiness of the confined
spaces of my mind.
So quickly had the light from my world dimmed, as if the on/off
switch of my eyes had been ripped from within meàleaving me with a fading
bulb of which to dwell upon until what was left was no more. My present,
muddled state, I owe to thisàthe dying of the light.
Lying on my bed, I feel the warmth of the black sun upon my skin
through the window of my room, but such rays of sunshine do not penetrate
to where the coldness liesàwhere the hatred has become solid ice. My
angeràmy furyàI'm beginning to wonder, if these are what sustains me
because it seems that they are all I have left of the yesteryear. My
anger and my fury are the only two things I have always been able to rely
upon because they have remained so consistent in all my years.
I turned my head to the sound of the opening of my bedroom door,
although my eyes cannot see the person intruding on my desolate
domicileàforce of habit, I suppose. For some bizarre reason all my
senses, especially that of hearing, have been heightened to some
impossible level, but I don't want these heightened senses. I want the
senses I had beforeàI want my eyesàand to seeàto beàlike the Buffy
Summers that had lived before her succumbing confrontation with evil.
The visit was briefàa friend of a friend, I think that person
was, who came to say that they were sorry for what had occurred. All
visits to my domain were brief as if no one could stand to look at meàas
if I was a creature to fear, but they have the most to fear. They are
the ones who are not protected from the demons that took the sun away,
because I'm not there to protect them.
A blind slayeràno one had ever thought it possibleàall those that
knew of the slayer always thought that their powers healed them rapidly,
but my eyes have been gone for a month, and still I have no sight. It is
just possible that there are even some ailments that even the powers of a
slayer can't heal.
I know Giles is still hoping, still readingàeven praying that my
eyes return to me, but I think even his hopes have faltered. They didn't
know but I heard them when they read the prophecy in one of Giles' textsà
à "Willow, Xander, Cordelia," I had heard Giles approach my
friends from where I sat in my hospital bed.
"G-man, what's the word?" Xander concerned voice followed, "Did
you read anything good in those books of yours?"
"She's going to get her sight back, right?" Willow asked in a
hopeful tone.
I heard hesitation in Giles' voice before he said, "W-wellàI'm
not sureà" and then I heard the sound of leafing pages follow, "This
passage read, 'The darkness shall overtake her, and rob her of the light.
Her sight taken, her battle still to come, and whether it be win or
lose, she will live in darkness and if that be, than we live only in
darkness.'"
Willow's voice was a hushed whisper as she read the Latin words
that ended the phrase, "In opacitatem habitant modoà"
àThose echo to me in my sleep, and that conversation so
inadvertently heard haunts me in nightmares and the darkest of daydreams.
Through them, I have given up all hope of seeing, but hope is not lost
in the battle against that which took my eyes from me. I will fightàas
it said I would, and I will win because losing isn't possible. My eyes
may be gone, but my fight isn't gone, and if I can't see with my eyes,
I'll just have to make do with what's left of my heart.
********************
The End
Feedback...anyone?
_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 19:00:26 EDT
From: <KylenRevik@aol.com>
Subject: Discuss: Re: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1)
Interesting story...the beginning read almost like a poem, or song, rather
than prose. I'd be interested to know how it happened, tho.
R
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 19:26:41 -0700
From: Wirchler <wirchler@pacbell.net>
Subject: Re: Discuss: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1)
KylenRevik@aol.com wrote:
>
> Interesting story...the beginning read almost like a poem, or song, rather
> than prose. I'd be interested to know how it happened, tho.
>
> R
So would I. I'd like to know what happens after that as well.....it
certainly leaves itself open to continuation......what the conflict is,
the results, etc.
Is that really the end, or are you just going to leave us hanging? :)
- --
Wirchler
wirchler@pacbell.net
Note to self: If someone asks if you're a god, you say yes!!
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 21 Jun 1998 23:33:39 -0700
From: _-Sun-_ <KBleyle@earthlink.net>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (Part 37)
Charlotte Sometimes (Part 37)
He came towards her.
Saying words she could only make out as blurs. Sorry's, or remorseful
sayings. Apologizing for unintentionally hurting her.
She felt her body relax, as she slumped against the wall.
There were less than a handful of words that could describe her
feelings. And the most common rang out. Alone. What had she gotten
herself into?
He was closer. She couldn't remember him moving, but he was closer now.
Everything was closer! The walls had moved, but didn't. The window's
were smaller, and yet the same. How did she get boxed in? What had she
done to deserve this?
Drusilla panicked, Her body shacking, screaming, crying, franticly she
clenched the long fabric hanging down and with all her might pulled,
trying to get up, get away.
She saw the sun shine in her head, before the room was engulfed.
Angelus's screams were etched into her mind, echoing as she looked
outside.
She stood, He was gone, the sunlight... It had driven him away...
She scrambled to the window. Looking back at the door fearful he might
return. The door was broken in, shattered and laying on the floor in
pieces.
Drusilla reacted quickly though, pulling the thick glass upwards. She
scrambled out the window, tearing holes in her legs as she tried to fit
through the rectangular opening. She eventually got through, shaken and
torn a bit. But on her way downwards managed to catch her skirt on the
nails on the roof...
"Drusilla?" a voice echoed behind her.
She yanked her head back, to see Angelus standing nearer to the doorway
concealed in shadows. She stared at him, frozen in horror for a second,
and then just scared. Safe, and scared.
Angelus shook his head. "Don't go."
Drusilla pulled on the tattered dress, ripping it and sending her onto
the roof.
She stood outside the house, on top of the cabin. Unstable as she was,
Drusilla began to giggle, spinning in circles.
For the first time in what seemed like forever she was engulfed in
sunlight. For the first time in what seemed like forever she felt safe,
and what made that so magical was that as long as the daylight shone
brightly she *was* safe.
Without much less than a backwards glance Drusilla rolled herself to the
edge of the roofing, painfully stretching her stomach until she could
feel the tips of her toes hitting the floor and she dropped.
Pain shot through her body, from her ankle, from her waist, from her
ribs. But never had pain ever felt so good...
*
Angelus kicked the chair as he paced the small cabin back and forth.
The chair broke in a couple places, splintering. And he was trapped.
Trapped by the cursed daytime sun.
How had he managed to let her get away?
After years and years of experience? Supernatural strength even, and
she - the towns demon/witch Drusilla - had gotten the best of him.
Angelus' fist connected with the wall, leaving a dent much larger than
his fist, and a hiss escaped through fanged teeth.
He had to get to her. She was wounded. How far could she make it? Did
she even know where she was?
Angelus fell down into the broken chair, sleep coming quickly. He knew
it would - and though unbidden it was not unwelcome.
He would awake at the first ray of sunshine gone over the hilltops, and
seek out to reclaim his Drusilla.
A nice thought before he fell into unnatural sleep was of her. Of her
strength, and will. Of her courage, and grace, and beauty.
And of the look on her face, before she disappeared in the sun...
- --
_-SuN-_
SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html
K - http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/kinky/
Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for
days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone. Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside
of me (The Cure)
_ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _
_ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _
_ - _ Plan For World Domination, _ - _
_ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 22 Jun 1998 02:23:18 -0700
From: taygeta@juno.com (Charity C. T.)
Subject: Re: Discuss: BUFFYFIC: In Opacitatem Habitant Modo (1/1)
On Sun, 21 Jun 1998 19:26:41 -0700 Wirchler <wirchler@pacbell.net>
writes:
>KylenRevik@aol.com wrote:
>>
>> Interesting story...the beginning read almost like a poem, or song,
>rather
>> than prose. I'd be interested to know how it happened, tho.
>>
>> R
>
>So would I. I'd like to know what happens after that as well.....it
>certainly leaves itself open to continuation......what the conflict
>is,
>the results, etc.
>
>Is that really the end, or are you just going to leave us hanging? :)
>--
>Wirchler
>wirchler@pacbell.net
>
>Note to self: If someone asks if you're a god, you say yes!!
>
It was suppose to be a one time deal, but since I've gotten feedback
requesting for more. I won't leave you hanging. So better to change it
to In Opacitatem Habitant Modo #1. I'll explain through other
characters, so the first person bit will change with every story. I'll
write it so the POV will be understandable for the transition of
characters. I think I might pull a William Faulkner for the ending and
have everyone's POV together.
Thanks for the comments,
Charity
aka
Taygeta
Writer of "Capeside:the Hellmouth," "My Moria," "Chronicles of the White
Knight," "Elan Vital," "BSC:Freshman," "Summer Waves," "The Summer
After," and "Beyond the Creek."
Co-president of the Buffy-Xander Lovers Club
To Join, fill out the form at:
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/9257/bxlclub.html
Keeper of Xander's quote, "People don't fall in love with what's right in
front of them. People want the dream-what they can't have. The more
unattainable, the more attractive."
Keeper of Xander's awkward moment with Buffy (Phases)
Keeper of Xander's ability to put together a M-16 in 57 seconds
"She wasn't you...when I was about to be trampled by those bulls, all I
could think about was that I would never see you again," -Richard to
Caroline
"Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone, but you," -Scully
"Our love is like a rose...beautiful when in bloom, but it'll never
last," Tuxedo Mask to Sailormoon
"She's everything," -Dawson about Joey
"Everything I've ever done has been for you!" Ethan Hawke in Great
Expectations.
"To whisper in your ears...words that are old as time..." -Celine Dion,
"I Love You"
"...we are still innocent...it's easy we are faltered, doesn't matter..."
- - Sarah Mclachlan, "Adia"
"Don't tell me you can't love me - you can - you must - why Emily" - his
eyes had met the moonlit brilliance of hers for a moment - "you *do*." ~
from L. M. Montgomery's Emily Novels: "Emily's Quest"
_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]
------------------------------
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