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buffyfic-digest        Wednesday, June 3 1998        Volume 02 : Number 219



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: Unravelling the Depths (5/7)
       BUFFYFIC: Unravelling the Depths (6/7)
       BUFFYFIC: Unravelling the Depths (7/7)
       BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (The real 23/?)

See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Tue, 02 Jun 1998 23:52:15
From: LDS <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Unravelling the Depths (5/7)

Title:     Unravelling the Depths (5/7)
Author:     Dawn Steele
e-mail:     [e-mail]
Summary:    Giles' POV in Nightmares (1st season spoilers)

Feedback:    Yes please. Good or bad. ;-)
Distribution:  SunS page
Disclaimers:  Not mine! Dialogue recognized is from Nightmares, and written
by someone else who did a good job and got paid for it.  Anything you don't
recognize is mine.

Random babbling explanation:  Written in response to the SunS Chaos POV
challenge (http://www.enteract.com/~perridox/SunS/). Previously published
in the "An Alternate Viewpoint" fanzine (see
http://members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html) which is currently out of
print, but will probably do a second run in September. Ok? <g>


Unravelling the Depths
By Dawn Steele ([e-mail])
Part 5/7

Finally giving up on finding Buffy, I started searching for Willow and
Xander instead.  Remarkably, as soon as I made the decision, I spotted
Xander's distinctive maroon outfit heading towards me.  Passing through
some sort of plastic that was hanging from the ceiling, I saw both of them
running straight at me.  "No sign of Buffy?"

They grabbed my arms, and started yelling as they pulled me backwards.
Then I noticed... a deranged clown with a large knife, coming at us intent
on murder.  "Uh..."

Deciding that retreat was the better part of valour in this case, I swiftly
turned around, and quickly caught up with Xander and Willow.  We were
running through yet another plastic barrier when I sensed Xander stopping
abruptly.  I was just about to yell at him to come, when... he threw a
punch that had the clown falling backwards and knocked him spread-eagled
onto the floor.

"You were a lousy clown!" Xander was shaking his fist to emphasize his
points.  "Your balloon animals were pathetic!  Everyone can make a
giraffe!"

Leaving the clown behind, Xander joined Willow and I, and we all headed
towards the exit of the school.  It was only after we had reached the
outside, and past the final plastic sheets coming down outside the building
that I realized we must have been in one of Xander's nightmares.  His next
words confirmed it.  Swept up in his dream, I had had little control over
my own actions.  Reality had bent and I had been a helpless, frightened
pawn.

"I feel good.  I feel liberated!"

A couple of screaming students jostled me as they passed behind me, but I
determinedly did not look to see what they were running from.  My own
nightmares were bad enough, I did not intend to find myself in someone
else's again.  The seeming inability to control my own actions had been...
quite awful.

"You seem to be the only one..." I looked at Willow.  Instead of her black
dotted dress and red sweater, she was garbed in a turquoise oriental outfit
with a red band around her waist.  Her hair was in a tight topknot, and her
face was covered in a thick layer of makeup.  It seemed Xander and I
weren't the only ones who had encountered Billy's influence.  "Things are
getting worse.  In a few hours reality will fall completely into the realm
of nightmares."

"What do we do?" Willow said.

"The only thing I can think of is to try, and wake Billy."  With Billy
awake, he would not be linked to the realm of nightmares, and reality
should once again take hold.  It <would> have to take hold.  If the effects
of the nightmares were permanent... I didn't want to think about it.

"No!" Xander protested.  "We can't leave without Buffy!"

"Agreed!" As if I would?  We needed to find her <immediately>.  "But who
knows where she might have gone?"

"Excuse me?  When did they put a cemetery in across the street?"

I looked to where Willow was pointing, and saw a rolling mass of darkness
enclosing a dark cemetery.  Night was being held firmly in place despite
the hot sun overhead.  This was not good, not good at all.

"And when did they make it night over there?"  Xander said.

There was really no question where we had to look for Buffy.  Remembering
more than one nightmare I had had that took place in a cemetery at night...
I had to force myself to walk faster rather than to turn around, and
pretend to myself that Buffy could still be somewhere inside the school.

Willow and Xander walked beside me.  I was glad they were there, and glad
despite myself, that they had persisted in helping Buffy in her trials
since discovering she was the Slayer.  It meant more worry late at night
when I thought of the danger they were placing themselves in, but... if it
meant Buffy's life was even marginally safer, I was willing to live with
it.

We stepped through the cemetery gate, and night enfolded us.  The grass was
springy beneath my feet, and we walked without talking.
"Whose nightmare is this?" Xander commented.  As if there was any doubt.

I think I saw it first.

I <know> I saw it first.

"It's mine."  Disbelieving, I knelt down by the fresh grave, heedless of
the soil grinding itself into my pants.  My eyes read the inscription on
the headstone, read it so <easily> now that I wished I could go blind.
'Buffy Summers, 1981 - 1997, Rest in Peace'.  The words were a mockery.
Sixteen years old, and....

"I failed... in my duty to protect you."  I let myself sigh deeply in
misery.  "I should have been more... cautious... taken more time to train
you." My heart felt still and heavy in my chest.  How could Buffy be dead?
 Her life was so bright and warm -- giving my own much more carefully led
life joy and meaning.  "But you were so gifted... and the evil was so
great."

I touched the fresh earth, and prayed desperately to all the gods that this
was <my> nightmare, that Buffy was somewhere else -- anywhere else -- and
hadn't been affected.  "I'm sorry."

A hand reached out of the dirt, and latched onto my own.

Scrambling backwards, I half-pulled, and half-pushed myself away.  Stepping
back until I was almost next to Xander and Willow, I... I recognized her,
and relief blossomed within me.  My nightmare <must> have ended, and Buffy
was here!

Buffy stood there, head down, and brushed the loose dirt off her clothing.
Apparently she was concerned with her appearance even at a time like this.
When she should have been... Just what had happened to her?

"Buffy?"  Responding to my call, she looked up, smiled, and my soul turned
to ice.  Her face was that of a vampire, with sharpened teeth, and glowing
eyes.

"I thought I was dead!"  The happiness expressed in her voice made the
demonic folds on her face twist oddly.

"Buffy -- your face!"  Willow sounded scared.

<I> was scared.

Her hands spread over her face, feeling the folds and twists of unfamiliar
tissue.  She knew what had happened.  "Oh, God."

I watched her shoulders start to shake.  This wasn't my nightmare at all --
it was hers, and I couldn't think of anything I could do to help her.

"Buffy?" Xander reached out a hand, but Buffy turned away from them.
Hiding her face.

I <had> to help her -- there was no choice.  Without her help, we might not
be able to reach Billy. Without her will actively fighting against the
vampirish state she found herself in -- we could be all in trouble.
Without... my help, she might not be able to survive.

"You never told me you dreamt of becoming a vampire."  I stepped up
close beside her;  hopefully, reassuringly close.

She shook her head, denying my words.  "This isn't a dream."

If the whole situation hadn't been so bloody <fragile>, I would have
laughed. "No... no it's not."  Moving around her, I positioned myself in
front of her.  Her head was down, and she wasn't looking at me.  "But
there's a chance we can make it go <away>."

I leaned down, my head next to hers.  "This <all> comes from Billy.  Now if
we can only wake him up... I believe..." I <had> to believe, "... the
nightmares will stop and reality will shift back into place -- but we
<must> do it now!"

<Give her a moment to focus,> I told myself.  <Give her a goal to hold on
to>.

"I need you to hold together long enough to help us..." Helping others was
ingrained in her very being.  Part and parcel of her personality.  She
could do it.  "Can you do that?"

She looked up at me, and I saw her -- saw the real Buffy through the guise
of the monster that wore her face.  Buffy was scared, but she was fighting
it.  She nodded, and when she spoke, her voice was rough with effort.
"Yeah, I think I can."

"Thank you."  I glanced up at Willow and Xander to see how they were
taking all this.  Shock was perhaps the best description.

Buffy followed my glance, looking over at them.  "But we better hurry --
'cause I'm getting hungry."

She strode off, Xander following close behind her.  "That's a... a joke,
right?"

I didn't hear Buffy's reply, if she made one.  Forcing myself to place one
foot in front of the other, I followed them.  We <had> to get to the
hospital.

Willow started walking beside me.  "Are you sure everything will go back
once he's awake?"

"Oh?" It took a moment for her words to register.  Of <course> I wasn't
sure!  A lie was the only answer. "Ah... positive."

"Well how do we wake Billy up?"  She was clearly excited, and thinking
up possibilities that I didn't even want to consider.  "What if we <can't>?"

"Willow?  <Do> shut up."

I could see Buffy's figure ahead of us, walking rapidly back towards the
school grounds.  I hoped she was heading towards my car.

(end of part 5/7)





[e-mail]
"I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac."

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 02 Jun 1998 23:57:07
From: LDS <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Unravelling the Depths (6/7)

Title:     Unravelling the Depths (6/7)
Author:     Dawn Steele
e-mail:     [e-mail]
Summary:    Giles' POV in Nightmares (1st season spoilers)

Feedback:    Yes please. Good or bad. ;-)
Distribution:  SunS page
Disclaimers:  Not mine! Dialogue recognized is from Nightmares, and written
by someone else who did a good job and got paid for it.  Anything you don't
recognize is mine.

Random babbling explanation:  Written in response to the SunS Chaos POV
challenge (http://www.enteract.com/~perridox/SunS/). Previously published
in the "An Alternate Viewpoint" fanzine (see
http://members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html) which is currently out of
print, but will probably do a second run in September. Ok? <g>


Unravelling the Depths
By Dawn Steele ([e-mail])
Part 6/7

After a very unpleasant ride all cramped together in my car, with Buffy's
eyes returning repeatedly to my neck, we arrived to find seemingly the
whole hospital screaming.  Orderlies, nurses, doctors, and all the
ambulatory patients were running through the halls.  Here, close to Billy's
influence, the nightmares must be continuous by now.

Running down the hallway towards where I remembered Billy's room to be, I
saw the doctor who was treating Billy.  "Doctor!  Is the boy Billy still
here..." My voice trailed off as I got a better look at him.  He was in his
own world, staring at the misshapen lumps of what used to be his hands.

"My hands..." Ignoring us, the doctor moved on down the hallway.

Spotting the door to Billy's room, I hurried through it and moved to the
right side of his bed, with Xander right behind me.  Willow went to the
other side by the window, and Buffy stayed next to the door.  All ready,
positioned for action, and... helpless.

"What now?"

What indeed, Xander.  What indeed.  "Um... ah..." I leaned forward, getting
closer to the unconscious boy in the bed.  He seemed too frail to have
caused this whole disaster. "Billy!  Billy?"

"That won't work."

Startled, I looked up.  There, right beside Willow, was a duplicate of the
boy on the bed.  He looked sad, scared, and... slightly off -- as if he
wasn't really there.  It was Billy's astral body.  Either he had grown strong
enough to be seen by anyone, or Buffy's presence in the room made him
visible.  Something to think about <later>.  "Billy... uh, Billy, you
<have> to wake up."  I compared the two of them, and despite the awareness
in the eyes of the boy standing beside Willow, the boy in the bed was the
more <real> of the two.

"No!  I told her... I have to hide."

"Why?  From what?"  <Tell> me, Billy.  Let me know how to break this spell
that's turning all our fears against us.

"From him...."  Buffy's voice echoed from the doorway.  She was looking out
down into the hall.

I turned around, and peered through the window.  There, shambling towards
us, was a huge monstrosity of a man with a deformed face, and a large club
extending past where his right hand should have been.

"Oh man... What do we do?"  Xander must have seen the monster as well.

"I think I know."  Buffy tore off her jacket, and moved into the hallway,
confronting the monster out of Billy's nightmares.  Confronting it for him,
and for all of us.

The room, and the sounds in the rest of the hospital receded, and I
focussed on what Buffy was saying.  Intent now on the inevitable fight that
would occur in the hallway.

"Scary... I'll tell you something though.  There are a <lot> scarier things
than you."  She stepped forward until I could see her better through the
window.  Her eyes were glowing now, and anger suffused her demonic looking
face.  "And I'm one of them."

She growled deeply and attacked him, knocking him to the floor.  I watched
them fight back and forth.  Whatever this monster was, he was taking on
both a vampire and a Slayer's strength.  It was pushing her back....

Buffy was thrown through the air, and landed at the end of Billy's bed,
jarring it slightly.  Shaking herself up, she was ready when the monster
attacked her again.  She grabbed its misshapen arm, broke it over her knee,
and then slammed him against the wall.  It slumped down -- beaten.

I was so proud of her.

"Is... is he dead?"  Billy's voice interrupted the silence, but I kept
still watching Buffy.  Trying to assess if she needed me or not.  A trial
she might be to her school teachers, but Buffy was inordinately quick
thinking in battle.  She had a connection with this Billy.  I only hoped
that she could use it.

"Come here, Billy."  Her voice was calm.

"But I... I don't..." Billy protested.

"You have to do the rest."

Billy's Astral body slowly walked over to Buffy and took her hand.  He
looked up trustingly into her face.

"What are they doing?"  Willow's voice broke the stillness that had
descended into the room.  I raised my hand to stop her talking, never
taking my eyes off the tableau in front of me.  Buffy knew what she was
doing, and I had a good idea as well.

"I get it."  Xander said.

I remembered him punching the insane clown in the High School and
acknowledged that yes, perhaps he did.  Right now, Billy had to do the
rest.

Buffy looked down into Billy's eyes.  "No more hiding."

He let go of her hand, and knelt down by the monster.  Grabbing the bottom
of its face, and pulled....

There was a strange ripping noise as if all of reality was being altered,
and a bright flash of light.  When my eyes cleared, I realized Xander and
Willow were wearing the clothes they had started the day with.

That meant... Buffy was still standing near the doorway, but... her face
was smooth, young, and human again.  She touched her skin, and... smiled.
My whole body, held stiff and tight for the past hour, released, and I
grinned. Things were back to normal, <Buffy> was back to normal, and we had
succeeded.

"Hey!  He's waking up."  Xander was standing by Billy's bedside.

I turned and, along with everyone else, gathered around the bed.  Billy's
eyes flickered a couple of times and then slowly opened.  He looked at us,
and his gaze finally settled on Buffy.  "I had the strangest dream."
Lifting up a weak arm, he pointed towards her.  "... and you were in it,"
he gestured towards me, "and you... Who <are> you people?

"Let's get a doctor."  More happy than I could remember being in a very
long time, I headed towards the door with Xander following behind me.

Just before we left the room, a man appeared.  He was wearing a sweatsuit
with a baseball cap, and a whistle on a string around his neck.  "Oh...
huh!  Billy's got company."

I smiled.  Normality intrudes.

The man removed his baseball cap, revealing balding black hair.  "I... I'm
his kiddy league coach.  I come by here every day, just hoping against hope
that he's... going to wake up soon."  He smiled.  "He's my 'Lucky 19'."

<Lucky 19>... Looking into the room, Buffy caught my gaze and held it.
Acknowledgement of the man's words passed between us.  This was the
man... the monster, who had caused Billy such misery, and started the whole
miserable chain of events.

"So... how is he?"

In answer to the coach's words, Buffy moved aside to reveal Billy lying on
the bed behind her.  "He's awake." Condemnation filled her voice.

"What?"  The coach, startled, moved inside the room.

Rapidly, I closed the distance behind him, my hand so very <casually>
reaching out  to hold to edge of the doorway -- and block him from leaving.
Xander  followed my move, and stayed right next to the door.

Buffy continued to fulfill the man's destiny.  Setting up his doom with
words instead of fists.  "You blamed him for losing the game.  So you
caught up with him afterwards, didn't you?"

"What are you talking about?"

Billy propped himself up on his left arm, and used the other to tear out
the unneeded air tube inserted into his nose.  "You said that it was my
fault that we lost."

Losing nerve, the coach made a break for it... and found Xander and I
waiting for him.  With the two of us, he didn't have a chance.  I enjoyed
playing a physical role at last against an opponent I could handle.  After
the confusing nightmares of this past day... I would <not> let him escape
from the consequences he had brought upon himself.

"It <wasn't> my fault!  There's eight other players on the team.  <You>
know that."  Billy, finished with destroying his own personal monster,
leaned back into the bed.

"Nice going."  Buffy said.

I shifted my grip on the man.  "Willow?  Why don't you go and get hospital
security?  I believe the police will want to talk with him."

(end of part 6/7)





[e-mail]
"I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac."

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 03 Jun 1998 00:00:08
From: LDS <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Unravelling the Depths (7/7)

Last part! Hope you enjoyed it. :)


Title:     Unravelling the Depths (2/7)
Author:     Dawn Steele
e-mail:     [e-mail]
Summary:    Giles' POV in Nightmares (1st season spoilers)

Feedback:    Yes please. Good or bad. ;-)
Distribution:  SunS page
Disclaimers:  Not mine! Dialogue recognized is from Nightmares, and written
by someone else who did a good job and got paid for it.  Anything you don't
recognize is mine.

Random babbling explanation:  Written in response to the SunS Chaos POV
challenge (http://www.enteract.com/~perridox/SunS/). Previously published
in the "An Alternate Viewpoint" fanzine (see
http://members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html) which is currently out of
print, but will probably do a second run in September. Ok? <g>

Unravelling the Depths
By Dawn Steele ([e-mail])
Part 7/7

Buffy and I met in the library shortly after the last bell had rung.
She seemed... fine.  But then, she always bounced back remarkably
quickly.  I wondered if it was a trait that all Slayers shared, or if those
who didn't have it merely had very short careers.

"Hi Giles!  I'm off for court-regulated quality time for the weekend --
Sunnydale will have to survive without me."  She dropped her school books
on the counter, and hopped up to sit on the table where I was clearing away
the newspapers.  "What's the scoop on the teacher's lounge gossip?"

"Well..." I put all the Sunnydale Press newspapers into a pile for later
recycling.  "No one is really talking, but they all agreed that the
students were 'restless' and nothing was accomplished today.  They were
complaining about having to repeat everything tomorrow when I left them."

"Meaning they can't remember anything either.  The few people I've talked
to remember some weird daydreams, but not much else.  How come we do?"
Buffy was staring off into space, absently kicking her legs.

"I imagine it's... partially repressed events, and partially because we
actually <knew> what was going on, and were close to Billy."

"Yeah."  She was preoccupied.  Not really <here> even though she was
talking to me.

I wanted to ask her what had happened in the graveyard before we arrived,
but I didn't.  She would just give me part of the story, and pretend it
wasn't important, just as she tried to pretend most of the time that she
had a normal life.  It was a character trait that would get her into
trouble some day.  The time would come, and as a Slayer living on a
Hellmouth, the day <would> come when she wouldn't be able to handle
everything by herself.

If only... I could only hope that she would come and talk to me before she
started to break.

"Buffy?"

"Hm?  What?"

"I'd like to know if I've really met your father."  I remembered the man
who'd come into the library.  Large, cheerful, and... coming when Buffy had
not expected him.  The next time I had seen her, she was a vampire, and we
had more immediate concerns ahead of us.

Buffy turned towards me.  Her eyes were sad, but determined.  This was one
Slayer that mere nightmares couldn't break.  Bend perhaps, but not break.
"Nope -- but he'll be outside any minute, wanna meet him?"

"Some other time perhaps."  Perhaps -- and someday I might even understand
what Buffy was really thinking.  In the meantime, I would try to protect
her as much as I could.  That was my job... and right now what she really
needed was to be away from Sunnydale, and her so very dangerous life.

"Vampire activity has been moderately low since you killed Darla."  I
sighed, hoping nothing too important would happen while she was gone.
"Have a good weekend off."

"Yes!  I am released from my prison.  The almighty God of Plastic Credit
awaits me!"  Buffy jumped off the table, and headed towards the door.
There, she stopped and turned, smiling cheerfully.  "You have a good
weekend too.  Sleep tight... and don't let the bed bugs bite."

I didn't even want to <think> about bed bugs.

 THE END

[e-mail]
"I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac."

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 03 Jun 1998 17:20:01 EDT
From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Reunion" (The real 23/?)

DISCLAIMER: The characters? They ainÆt mine.
SUMMARY: Back to the pastà
FEEDBACK: I hate feedback. DonÆt send it. (Just
kidding. - Does anybody ever *not* want feedback?
REQUESTS FOR PARTS: Give æem here!
([e-mail])

NOTE: This is the REAL part 23. Accept no imitations.
<g>

WARNING, dears: Some violence ahead...

*********
"Reunion," by Ingrid
Part Twenty-three: "Culmination"
*********

Buffy flew. She didnÆt look around; she didnÆt look back.
She knew where she was going. Hysterical as sheÆd been,
she remembered every detail of the way as if it had been
yesterday. Even the rock music from the stereo of the car
was pounding in her ears.

Now she was back there, and everyone else faded away.

In the distance, she saw the smoke, the fire, and the
figures near it. They grew larger, and soon she could
recognize faces of flickering terror. Without processing
anything but the task at hand, she gripped the orb tighter
and leapt into the scene like it was a painting.

GilesÆ face was calm, and when he saw her with the orb,
he didnÆt seem to notice that she was ten years older and
merely grabbed the thing and continued to chant.

Until Spike tackled him and the orb hit the tree behind them.
She grimaced as the thing tapped against the tree, but it
remained intact.

"Giles!"

Spike was pummeling the watcher viciously; blindly. He
couldnÆt seem to see anything else but the red-hot anger
consuming him.

Buffy knocked him off Giles easily. He was unprepared for an
outside attack in his rage. She could  keep him at bay while
Giles finished the spell. She watched him get up and fetch
the orb again. He was chanting like heÆd never stopped, and
the orb began
to glow.

Just then she heard another scream from behind the tree and her
stomach oozed. Willow. Again.  She dropped Spike and rocketed
past him to see the body of a red-haired teenager enveloped in the
vampireÆs arms, struggling against him with every ounce of strength
she possessed.

But it wasnÆt enough. It would never be enough. And she could have
stopped it. She hit Angelus hard, and he fell backwards, dropping his
bloody dinner.

And she waited for Giles to finish. But he didnÆt. And instantly,
she knew. Behind the tree, Spike was ripping at Giles shoulder, and
Giles was grappling with him, trying to finish the words.

He choked out a few syllables. Buffy rushed at them. Then she felt
something pulling at her back. She turned around to meet AngelusÆ
amused expression, as he watched Spike pull the stake from his
sleeve and stab Giles in the shoulder.

"AwwàHe missed," Angel sneered in her ear. Buffy hit him in the
stomach and raced back towards Giles where spike was preparing for
another strike, but this one was aimed to kill.

"Uh, uh," Angel scolded from behind, returning to grab her by the
waist. She suddenly realized how powerless she was as time slowed
down, and she screamed in anticipation of the coming blow.

It never came. She saw a figure dart in between the two men and
SpikeÆs stake cut into flesh. But not Giles.

Willow.

"What are you doinÆ here?" he demanded savagely, barely able to
speak.

She didnÆt answer, instead looking at Giles briefly and yelling at him
to get up and finish.

He did. Moving jerkily, he reclaimed the sphere and finished
the spell, collapsing against the tree. In a split second, Buffy had
been released by a writhing Angel, and she ran over to Giles,
whoÆd collapsed against the tree, unconscious.

Things were becoming fainter before her eyes suddenly as she
felt his pulse. Alive. SheÆd done it. Then she looked behind her
just in time to catch a vision of Willow with a stake planted in
her chest. Dust.

There were two distinctive flashes of light, and then all the rest
was caught up in a glowing blur becoming fainter. Blackness
swam before her eyes and she gave into the dark, shutting them,
and relaxing against the ground. If it was the ground. She felt
completely turned around now. Lost.

And suddenly something sweet touched her, something more real
than any dream. *He* touched her, pulled her to him, and she let him,
completely still and dead. Somehow, she knew he was crying.

Then all shimmered gold and white and she felt herself slip away.

***
END PART 23.

"God help me, if he doesnÆt stop, IÆll go out of my mind in a minute."

"Why DonÆt you? That would be something, anyway."
- --John Osborne, "Look Back In Anger"

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------------------------------

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