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buffyfic-digest          Monday, June 1 1998          Volume 02 : Number 214



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: "Hell" 2/?
       BUFFYFIC: "Angelus's Scary Adventure [1/1]
       BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Question regarding the Codex
       Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Question regarding the Codex
       BUFFYFIC: Discuss: Angel's Scary Adventure
       BUFFYFIC: Help Me Understand 1/1 by Dreamscape205

See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Mon, 1 Jun 1998 19:00:21 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Hell" 2/?

"Hell" 2/?
by Jaclyn Amy

TITLE: Hell
AUTHOR: Jaclyn [e-mail]
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
They belong to Joss Wheden, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, etc.
RATING: PG-13
WARNING: Some of the scenes have some gory violence. If you donÆt like that
sort of thing, donÆt read this.
SPOILERS: None.
SUMMARY: This takes place immediately after Becoming Parts 1 and 2. ItÆs
pretty much my own episode after this. Enjoy!
DISTRIBUTION: Ask me first.
FEEDBACK: Please!
AUTHORÆS NOTE: I have finals to study for, so these will probably come out
sparatically.
*****
    "WhatÆs going on, Giles? WhyÆd you call us out of first to be here?" Willow
asked nervously. She and Oz were sitting at the table while Cordelia and
Xander were groping by Giles office.
    "Damnit, Xander, Cordelia," he cursed. "We have more important things to be
doing."
    "Chill, G-man," Xander said as he led Cordelia to join the others.
    "IÆm sorry, but something terrible happened," he apologized.
    "You got that right," a voice said. A well-dressed man casually strolled into
the library.
    "Excuse me," Giles started, "but the sign on the door says-"
    "I had figured my man Angel was here to stop Akathla, not to bring him forth.
Boy, I was wrong." He walked closer to the table. "She went to him. She tried
to stop him for you." He stared at Willow. "The curse worked but after Angel
pulled the sword out. She had to kill him; not Angelus, but Angel. And she
did. You trained her well."
    "Ohmigod," Willow whispered to herself, "how could she have after Xander told
herà?" Xander looked away, sick with guilt.
    "Who are you?" Cordelia asked.
    "They call me the Whistler," he answered.
    Giles asked bitterly, "What do you want?"
    "She took off. You have to find her before itÆs too late. If she doesnÆt come
backà"
    "How do you know about her?" Giles asked.
    "IÆm an immortal demon sent to help her. I tried to warn her, but it was too
late."
    Willow spoke, "Where is she? WeÆve got to find her."
    "I canÆt tell you; I really wish I could. All I can say is that sheÆs staying
with a friend. You have to find her before you lose her forever. She canÆt
handle another loss. She canÆt handle losing him, too."
*****
    "Good morning," Pike said to a sleepy Buffy.
    Groggily, Buffy dragged herself off the bed. Pike had generously offered it
to her while he slept on the couch. The sunlight shined through the blinds as
she looked at the clock. "8:45. I probably would be in the library talking to
Giles about some prophesy or in math with Xander passing notes. I miss them so
much."
    "So go back. You should be with your friends at school having a normal life."
    "I canÆt go back."
    "Buffy-"
    "You donÆt know the whole story. The police came just as I arrived at the
crime scene. When they tried to arrest me, I hit the cop and went free. They
probably have a warrant for my arrest by now. As I came home, I saved my
mother from a vampire and told her I was the Slayer. She wanted me to explain,
but I didnÆt have time. She told me that if I walked out of the house I canÆt
come back. I had to leave. When I went back to the school to get the sword,
the principal found me and expelled me. I canÆt go back after that."
    He took a deep breath. "Fine, but at least call them."
    "I canÆt do that."
    "How would you feel if one of them took off, not saying a word if they were
alive, if they were healthy, if they had a place to live."
"Alright." Buffy got out of bed and went to the phone. She slowly dialed the
numbers to the school library.
    "Hello?" Willow answered.
    "Will?" Buffy asked cautiously.
    "Buffy? God, are you all right?" Tears of joy started flowing down her
cheeks. Suddenly anger filled her voice. "How could you have just-"
    "Willow, IÆm fine. IÆm sorry I left, but I couldnÆt stay. Not after I killed
Angel."
    There was a moment of silence as she swallowed the lump in her throat.
"Buffy, where are you?"
    "I donÆt want you looking for me."
    "You have to come back. Everyone was-"
    "Will?"
    Buffy heard Principal SnyderÆs voice in the background. "Is that Buffy
Summers you are talking to?"
    "No," she lied. "ItÆs my mom. Well, IÆve got to go," she spoke to Buffy. "I
hope you come home from your vacation soon."
    "Give me the phone," he ordered. "WeÆll find you," he sneered. "YouÆre in way
over your head, missy. And I sugest you donÆt make anymore calls here." With
that, he hung up the phone.
*****
    "Enjoying your visit?"
    All Angel could do was mumble a sound. Though he hadnÆt been physically
tortured, his memories were killing him painfully. //God, damnit,// he
thought. //I have to get out of here.// Of course there was the obvious stake
through the heart thing, but he wanted to be with Buffy.
    "IÆm glad," the Buffy look-alike stepped over to where he was leaning against
a wall. She gently rubbed her hand against the side of his unshaven face.
Before his eyes, she turned into Drusilla.
    "Dru, what-"
    "Shhh," she whispered. "Look at me." Buffy/Dru took her two fingers and put
them to her eyes. "Be in my eyes. Be in me." She gently covered his eyes with
her hand. "See with your soul."
    When he opened his eyes, he was looking at Jenny Calender. She ran into him
and sank to the ground. He held her up, unable to control himself. "Sorry,
Jenny, this is where you get off."
    With a twist of the neck, she was dead. "I never get tired of doing that."
//No,// his soul cried. //Jennyà// the vision was over as soon as it came.
    Now, instead of being at the school, he was watching through the window into
BuffyÆs house.
    "Hey, Giles," suddenly BuffyÆs smile faded as she handed the phone to Willow
and slumped on the floor.
    "What?! No, no!" Willow cried as she hung up the phone.
    More than anything Angel wanted to take back that moment, to not remember the
pain, or at least not to remember feeling pleasure from it.
    Buffy/Dru removed her hand, and Angel was back. She morphed back to looking
like Buffy. Tears ran down his cheeks as she gave him an ice cold stare.
    "Upset now?" she asked, tears started streaming down her face. "Good, keep
suffering. Know what itÆs like to lose everything that you ever cared about."
    He knew this wasnÆt the real Buffy talking, but the words felt as horrible as
if the real Buffy was saying them. //Someday,// he thought, //somedayà//
***
End Part 2

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 1 Jun 1998 17:06:07 -0700
From: [e-mail] (Connie)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Angelus's Scary Adventure [1/1]

Title: Angelus's Scary Adventure [1/1]
Author: Connie Somerville Kotkin
E-mail: [e-mail]

Disclaimer: Angelus and Drusilla belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy and the WB.
CJ belongs to me.

Rating: PG-13

Distribution: Anyone who wants it, just let me know.
Feedback: Please. I love getting e-mail.

Spoilers: I Only Have Eyes For You

Summary: The title pretty much says it all.

Author's Note:
I wrote this after having a week long Buffy-fest with my mother. I have
always thought that evil Angel was a wuss and re-watching the episodes
where he was bad just reconfirmed that idea. So I wrote this story as a
reflection of that for fun. Of course I am sure this could never have
happened on the show, but this is my story and I can do as I please. If
people can write stories with Angel and Willow being in love, then I can
write a story about Angelus being tortured by a 4 year old. Let me know
what you think.



From "I Only Have Eyes For You"

   Angelus:  (walks back) Let's get outta here. I need a real vile kill
before sunup to wipe this crap out of my system.

   He pulls on his jacket over his still unbuttoned shirt. Drusilla comes
up to him and growls. He snarls back.

   Drusilla: Of course. We'll find you a nice toddler. (snarls)




And so our story begins....


Angelus's Scary Adventure
by Connie S. Kotkin

        Drusilla, true to her word took Angelus to the local orphanage. It
was late and the sun would be coming soon. She figured (if she could use
her mind and had any sane thoughts) that this would be the fastest place
for her Angel to purify himself.

        They walked in since an orphanage was opened to everyone. Angelus
turned and looked at Drusilla. "This is exactly what I need. An easy
killing spree." He grinned at her "Let the fun begin!"

        Drusilla laughed as the walked up the stairs to find some young ones.

     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        CJ wasn't tired. She knew that she should be asleep but she didn't
want to. She knew that if the big lady found out she was up she would get
in trouble but she just could not stay in bed. She grabbed her teddy bear
and her special dagger that her parents gave her and walked towards the
stairs.

        CJ was going to escape tonight. She knew she was little and might
not get far but she would try like her parents had taught her to do. She
was going to go find some nice people to live with, not wait for them to
come to her.

        As she reached the stairs she heard the sound of someone coming up.
A man and a woman She looked for a place to hide and could not find one.
Before she could decide what to do the woman looked up and smiled at her.

        "My Angel, look at what I see." the woman said. CJ thought the
woman was pretty but her voice was strange. The man looked up and smiled at
her.

        "Well what do we have here? Aren't you supposed to be asleep little
girl?"

        The man and woman walked up to CJ and knelt on the floor in front
of her. She did not like them, she knew they were not supposed to be here
and that they were bad.

        "You're BAAAAD people. I don't like you." CJ said to them.

        The man laughed at that. "Aren't you precious. My name is Angel and
this is Drusilla. Who are you?"

        "You are not Angel, your Angelus, Angel is nice." CJ said and set
her teddy bear down. She held her dagger in front of her. She had heard the
name Drusilla before, her mother had talked about her and a spike. They
were Real BAD people.

        "That's right, I am not and Angel. I'm a demon." his face changed
and CJ laughed.

        "You don't look like a demon, you are silly vampire." She ran up to
him and stabbed him with her dagger. She heard him scream out in pain as
she turned away from him.

        "That was not very nice little girl. Miss Edith does not like bad
little girls," the woman said as she reached out for CJ. CJ stabbed at her
and decided that she wanted to play a game with them. They were vampires
like her parents had told her about. Vampires killed her parents because
her mother was a Slayer. She decided to
hurt them the way they had hurt her.

        She picked up her teddy bear and ran towards her room. She knew
they would follow her because her mother told her that vampires always
chased people who they thought were weaker when they had hurt them. She
looked over her shoulder and watched Angleus hold the silly lady as she
screamed over the wound she gave her. It was not even that bad. That lady
was a real baby, CJ thought. She was going to make them pay for killing her
parents, to do what her mother had taught her to do.

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Angelus could not believe the nerve of the little girl. She showed
no fear when he showed her his true face, she just laughed at him and
stabbed him with her dagger in the side. It had hurt, a lot. Then she had
gone and stabbed Dru in the stomach and now she was running into another
room, not running for her life, but running like she had no care in the
world. The little girl was just what he needed to take his mind off of what
had happened earlier tonight with the slayer. He turned back to Dru and
sighed. Sometimes she was a real pain.

        "Drusilla go back to the house and get better. Tomorrow night I
will take you out for a real treat."

        "But what about the girl?"

        "Don't worry about her, I will take care of her."

        Drusilla grinned at him and laughed. "Oh you are going to hurt her.
I like it, will you tell me about it when you get back?"

        "You know I will. Let Spike take care of you, make him feel
useful." He watched as she walked down the steps and walked to the room the
little girl had gone into. It was pitch black and he could see no hint of
the girl.

        "I know you are in here. Come out come out where ever you are," he
softly sung. He heard a noise behind him and walked over to the closet. He
grinned as he pulled it open. He walked in and looked around. There was
just clothes and other toys in it. He heard a sound and turned around and
saw the brown eyes of the girl staring at him. She stood in the room, in
front of the bed holding her black teddy bear.

        "There you are. I see you like to play games, well here is one for
you." He started to walk out of the closet when his feet started to burn.
He jumped back in pain. "What the hell is this?" He tried to walk out again
and felt the pain and moved back.

        The little girl continued to stare at him while he tried to get
out. "My mommy told me that vampires did not like God water. She gave me
some."

        "What are you planning to do to me little girl? This won't hold me
back for long."

        "No, this will." She walked over to her bed and jumped on it. Next
to it was a window, she pulled on the curtain and opened it, the room
slowly began to lighten up. "Morning is coming. Sun make vampire go
'bye-bye.'"

        Angelus was worried, this was not your typical toddler, she knew
things that most people did not know.

        "How old are you?"

        "I just turned 4."

        "What are you going to do with me?" he asked. He was starting to
get scared. The sun was starting to come up in the sky and he could feel
the rays on his skin. The window was directly in front of him and there was
nowhere for him to hide from the sun.

        "Vampires killed by mommy cause she killed them. I'm gonna make you
pay for that." She walked up to the door and threw some holy water at him.
He shrieked as it hit his face. She closed the door and Angelus knew he was
in for a long wait.

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        CJ went back in bed and went to sleep. A couple of hours later the
nice lady came in to wake her up. It was 9 o'clock and she got out of bed
and went to her closet. The sunlight streamed through her room onto her
closet. She knew that when she opened it the light would hurt Angelus. She
opened it and watched as he tried to hide in the corner, away from the sun.
She laughed at him.

        "I am gonna watch t.v. What do you wanna watch?"

        "I don't want to watch television you brat. Just wait till I get
out of here. You will regret this."

        "You won't hurt me, your a big baby. Angel told me so."

        "What are you talking about, I am Angel."

        "Na-uh, Angel is floating in heather, he told me all about you." CJ
sat on her bed and put her dress on. Then she turned around to watch t.v.

        "You can talk to Angel's soul?"

        CJ nodded her head. "He is very nice and not a baby like you are.
He is gonna come back soon. Barney is on so be quiet or I will throw more
water on you." CJ grabbed her teddy bear and started to sing along with the
song.

        "I love you,
        you love me,
        We're a happy family with a great big hug and a
kiss from me to you,
        won't you say you love me too."


        Angelus groaned. This was worse than any torture he had ever
devised for Dru. He hoped he could last the day. As soon as night came he
was going to enjoy killing this little girl.

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        CJ spent all day in her room with Angelus. She left the closet door
open until Angelus's clothes had started to smoke and he begged her to
close the door. She closed it a little bit but made sure that the sun still
affected him. When she got bored with TV she decided that she wanted to
play with Angelus. No one ever played with her since her mother had died.
What to play though. She looked under her bed and saw Candyland. She walked
to the closet and put it down. Then she went and got her mother's special
stick. She sat down in front of her closet and set up the game. Angelus
looked up at her. Sweat was running down his face and part of his skin was
blistered.

        "What are you doing now?" he asked.

        "We are going to play Candyland."

        He tried to snarl at her. "I am not going to be playing any game
with you."

        She picked up her mother's stick and poked him on the arm, he sat
up and yelled out in pain. He looked down at his arm, there was a big hole
and blood was flowing out. He could feel himself getting weaker. "This is
my mom's special stick, the wounds take a long time to heal. What color do
you want to be?" she asked as she held her stick.

        Angelus chose red and they spent the rest of the afternoon playing
games. Angelus was going crazy, he could not stand all of the cute games
she made him play. When she pulled out her Barbies and gave him one he
tried to leave.

        CJ stood up and opened the door and Angleus felt the sun's rays
burn his skin. He screamed in pain and sat back down again and started
dressing the Barbie. When she finally got up he thought his torture was
finally over until he heard the music she had put on. It was the Spice
Girls.

        "Tell me what you want,
         what you really really want"

        He knew what he wanted, he wanted this torture to be over. He did
not think that he would be able to last till sundown. He knew he wouldn't.

        It was only 3.

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        CJ was having fun. She was learning all kinds of things about
Angelus and his life. She kept asking him questions over and over again
until he screamed at her. If he did not answer her she let the sun hit him
and watched him scream in pain, then she would stab him with her mother's
special stick. He had a lot of holes on his body to go with the burns on
his body.

        She could tell that she was driving him crazy and she was happy. He
deserved it. She could hear Angel laughing and laughed with him. As it grew
closer to her bed time and the sun was get ready to set she had him read
her stories. She knew he would hate doing it. She made him read "The
Velveteen Rabbit", "Green Eggs and Ham", "The Little Train That Could",
"See Spot Run", and
"Sweet Valley Kids" books.

        After he had finished that, he was begging her to stop and let him
go. She said she would only if he promised to never come near the orphanage
again. He said he would, and by this time he was babbling like an idiot. As
she stood up and walked to him he cringed as far away from her as he could
get. He did not want to be hurt again. She asked for his sword necklace and
he took it off and tossed it to her. She put it on and smiled. Angel was
happy too since he said she could have it.

        She went and got one of the older boys that liked her. She told him
that a crazy guy had come into her room. He grabbed Angelus who was a mess
and took him down the stairs and dumped him outside. CJ stood over him as
the last ray of the sun went away.

        "Don't come back or bring any friends or I will hurt you more. I
know where you live."

        Angelus nodded his head. As she turned to leave Angelus called out.
"What is your name?"

        "I am CJ. Thank you for playing with me, it was fun." CJ turned and
skipped back inside.

        Angelus stood staring after her. He was never going to come near
this place again. He had never been so scared in his entire existence. CJ
was the master of torture and mind games. He did not want to see what she
would turn into when she got older. He rolled towards the sewer and away
from the terror that had gripped him this last day.

        So ends Angelus's Scary Adventure.

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 1 Jun 1998 20:17:44 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Question regarding the Codex

Does anyone know what language the Pagamon Codex was originally in?

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 01 Jun 1998 20:23:54 -0400
From: David Williams <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: Question regarding the Codex

At 08:17 PM 6/1/98 , [e-mail] wrote:
>Does anyone know what language the Pagamon Codex was originally in?

Pergamum; it's a city in Asia Minor (or was). And it was in classical
Greek, because Giles was reading it aloud in the original and then
translating.

- --
David Williams <[e-mail]>
Dept. of Theology, Boston College
That tagline is TRUE -> <- That tagline is FALSE

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 1 Jun 1998 21:01:39 EDT
From: <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Discuss: Angel's Scary Adventure

Sorry to mail this to the whole list, but it bounced from the author's address
and I'm hoping they see it here instead...I loved the story, was laughing so
hard i was crying, and if you'v ewritten anything else may I see it? (Please
excuse the typos, BAD wrists today...)

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 01 Jun 1998 23:10:01 -0400
From: Dreamscape <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Help Me Understand 1/1 by Dreamscape205

TITLE:  Help Me Understand
AUTHOR:  Dreamscape205
EMAIL:  [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION:  Anya, I'll submit it directly through the Slayer's
Fanfic site.  Anyone else, it's okay as long as you give me credit,
and email me with the URL I can find it archived.
SUMMARY:  The gang try to deal with Buffy's absence
RATING:  PG
TYPE: TB
SPOILERS: Becoming II
DISCLAIMER:  BtVS and its character's belong to Joss "The Torturer"
Whedon, the WB, Fox, and Mutant Enemy.  No infringements intended!


*************
Help Me Understand

She sat alone in the living room, staring straight ahead.  Not
looking at anything, but looking through them.  How long had she
been like this?  For days, at least.

Her hair hung in an unclean, string mass.  Her makeup streaked
by tears and running mascara.  Her clothes unkempt and wrinkled.
In her left hand, she clutched a single sheet of paper.  It had the
look of being crumpled, straightened, folded and then unfolded
many times.

She was startled by an unexpected knock at the door.  She was
tempted to ignore it, but there was the hope of some news.  Joyce
Summers stood slowly, every muscle in her body screaming from
the stiffness that developed after endless hours of sitting without
movement.

When she reached the door, her first impulse was to scream with
rage to leave her alone.  Instead, she calmly opened the door and
welcomed Mr. Giles, Xander Harris, Cordelia Chase, Willow
Rosenberg and her friend, Oz, into her home.

They all stood nervously watching her.  She felt as if she was on
display.  "What is it?  Has there been any word?"  she asked
anxiously.

"Word?"  Giles asked in confusion.

Her voice contained the suggestion of slightest hope, "Yes, have
you heard from Buffy?"

Giles shook his head, "Actually, Mrs. Summers, we came here
looking for her."

Joyce's eyes filled with tears and her chin quivered.  She held out
the crumpled piece of paper to Giles, "Please....help me
understand."

Giles quickly read the note then handed it to Willow as he pulled
Joyce into the circle of his arms.  There was no doubt this woman
needed his comfort...anyone's comfort.

Willow recognized Buffy's handwriting and began reading the note
aloud.  "Mom, I know you lashed out because you can't
comprehend what it is that I have become.  Believe me, I
understand.  Trust in the fact that anything I have done has been
for the good of mankind.  I never meant to hurt you.  I am
leaving...not because I want to, but because I need to.  The things
I had to do today to save the world have cost me more than I
thought I had to give.  There's an open wound where my heart is
suppose to be, and I don't think it will ever heal.  I don't know
when...or if...I'll be back.  Please go on without me.  You're better
off without me, for all the trouble I've been.  I'm sorry.  If there
is
one thing I am...it's sorry.  Sorry for caring...sorry for
living...sorry
for loving.   Buffy"

Willow looked up through tear-filled eyes to see the same in every
face in the room.  Even Oz, who although fond of Buffy, hadn't had the
time to develop a close relationship with her.

Joyce sobbed against Giles chest, "Why?  Why Buffy?"

Giles pulled away from Joyce, lead her to the couch, and sat her
down.  "There is no answer.  She is The Chosen One.  The one
girl in all the world with the strength to fight the vampires.
There's
no rhyme or reason...it just *is*."

"And I'm just supposed to accept and understand that some
mystical force chose my daughter to risk her life everyday because
'they say so'?"  Her anger was beginning to surface.  "And, just
what is your role in this?  I often wondered why you had such an
interest in my daughter."

"I am her Watcher.  It is my duty to train her, to prepare her for
what lies ahead."  Giles was ready for the volcano to erupt within
Joyce.  He was shocked by the calm reaction to his statement.

"So, then, as her Watcher, you have no idea what has happened
to her?"  She wanted to lash out at him, but what good would it
do?  It wouldn't change the fact that her daughter was some kind
of superhero....The Slayer.  "She and that Spike character were
planning a rescue...your rescue.  I never saw her after that."

Xander said, "She was still fighting Angel when I was getting Giles
out of the building.  It wasn't looking good for her.  The fact that
she came back, left that note, is a good sign.  She's alive.  That's
more than we knew before."

"Angel?!"  Joyce squealed.  "That horrible man.  She was fighting
him?"

Willow joined the conversation, "He wasn't always bad.  When
Buffy first met him over a year ago, he was good.  A vampire
with a soul.  He helped Buffy, saved her life many times.  They
tried to fight it, but there was no way they could fight a love so
strong.  It was that love, that happiness Buffy gave him,
that cost him his soul.  She's had to live with that, and the pain and

death he caused afterwards."  Willow took a breath, then
continued, "Buffy went to kill him that day, to finally end it.  We
tried to restore his soul so she wouldn't have to, but I guess it
didn't work."

Joyce sat, head bowed, "He was so cruel that night he came to
the house.  He said the most awful things.  I never even saw it...the
things she was going through.  Her birthday...it all started
on her birthday, didn't it?  That's when I noticed a change, but
I didn't know what to do."

"Yes, it was her birthday," Giles replied.

"I still don't understand how or why.  I only understand that my
daughter is gone.  Can't you help me understand?"

"If you can help us..." was Giles only reply.

------------------------------

End of buffyfic-digest V2 #214
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