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buffyfic-digest          Sunday, May 24 1998          Volume 02 : Number 200



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS : How To Forge a Broken Blade (2/?)
       BUFFYFIC: How to Reforge A Broken Blade (part 2/?)
       BUFFYFIC: 3 (short) Becoming Fics
       BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (22.5)

See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sat, 23 May 1998 21:12:40 -0400
From: "R. Smith" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS : How To Forge a Broken Blade (2/?)

Ack! Not only did I post the non-proofread version as opposed to the
proofread one, but it pasted funny in my post and looks all weird.
Well, the gist is pretty much the same, with a few typos and a slightly
weird look.....
sorry......


- -R

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 23 May 1998 21:38:46 -0400
From: "R. Smith" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: How to Reforge A Broken Blade (part 2/?)

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT=20
This story contains extensive references to any and all episodes up to
and including Becoming II. BE WARNED: if you haven=92t seen those
episodes, READ NO FURTHER!
THIS=20
SPACE=20
IS=20
FOR=20
YOUR
PROTECTION

        See part one for disclaimers and notes. Comments to
[e-mail]

                **********

    Buffy spent the next couple of days pounding the pavement. No-one would
hire a sixteen year old, as she feared, but what was worse was that
no-one would rent to one, either. It was extremely discouraging, and as
the days passed, she became more and more depressed.
    Added to her depression was the fact that she felt like she was being
watched almost constantly. It was nothing she could put her finger on,
and whenever she scanned the crowd, she didn=92t see anyone paying specia=
l
attention to her. However, years of being constantly on guard had honed
her survival instincts to the point where she was sure that _someone_
was watching her, she just couldn=92t catch them at it.
    She was walking back to her hotel from The Daily Grind after another
pointless day of job hunting when she suddenly _knew_  that someone was
following her. She spun around, fists at the ready, to find three guys
strolling down the sidewalk behind her.
    They looked at her and chuckled, the lead one glancing behind her.
Buffy threw a glance over her shoulder and saw maybe six more coming out
of the shadows on all sides of her.
    *Nine is too many,* she thought to herself, *Even if they are just
humans.*
    =93You guys have no idea how bad an idea this is,=94 she said, trying to
sound more confident than she really was, =93Since I don=92t have any rea=
l
cash on me, this is going to be a LOT more effort than it=92s worth for
you.=94
    =93Ooo, a tough guy.=94 said the obvious leader with a grin, =93Well,
sweetness, that might be true if it was money we were after.
Unfortunately, what we want is you. If you come along quietly, we won=92t
hurt you, but if you try to fight... well, the boys don=92t go in for
that, and you=92ll probably not like the result.=94 He gave a nod to one =
of
the guys behind her, and Buffy heard feet moving closer.
    *TOO MANY!* Buffy thought to herself, fear beginning to grow in the pit
of her stomach, until finally the potion of her mind that was the Slayer
kicked in.
    *Can=92t be nice to them,* she thought to herself, *There are too many
for that. I=92ve got to hit hard, hit fast, and leave at least some of
them laying on the ground.*
    That in mind, she snapped a kick straight back into the nearest thug=92s
knee, feeling a satisfying snap as the joint bent the wrong way. The
thug screamed and dropped, clutching his ruined leg, and the rest of
them, seeing that this wasn=92t going to be easy, after all, charged.
    Buffy was a whirlwind of fists and feet, moving and dodging so quickly
that her opponents couldn=92t get a hand on her. She wasn=92t trying to
soften them up for the kill, like she would have if they=92d been
vampires. She was trying to _hurt_ them, to do as much damage as
possible with each blow. Otherwise, she was doomed.
    At some point in the fight, the bad guys got desperate enough to pull
out weapons, mostly clubs, but a few knives as well. Buffy concentrated
on the knife fighters. She figured that if she could take a punch from a
vampire, she could take a hit from a club.
    She had disabled four of them, using every dirty trick Giles had ever
showed her, when one of them finally got behind her. There was a bright
flash of light, followed by a sharp pain, and the next thing she knew,
she was on the ground.
    *This is it,* she thought dazedly as the remaining thugs moved in for
the kill, *It=92s not going to be vampires or demons or weird slime
creatures from the dawn of time. I=92m going to get killed by human
monsters.*

            **********

    He followed her carefully for several days. It wasn=92t easy, she had a
sixth sense about such things and twice, she almost caught him. It was
kind of sad, watching her try to find work in a world that didn=92t credi=
t
her with the necessary maturity to live on her own. She was also
checking on apartments, and there again, she was having no luck.
    *She must be getting desperate, living in a hotel on what have to be
limited resources.* he thought, *Something=92s gotta break soon.*
    He was following her  home after another night at the coffee house,
when the sword in his dufflebag twitched.
    *Not now,* he thought, *I=92m busy.*
    Of course, that=92s when the dark forces liked to operate, it seemed.=20
Whenever he had something better to do, he had to drop everything and
kill some foul-smelling demon.
    He dropped the bag, and pulled his sword out of it, glancing around for
the threat it had detected.
    The sword was beautiful, 3 1/2 feet of polished steel with a phrase in
Latin down its fuller. It was obviously a well-used antique, although it
still looked quite deadly.=20
    There was a moment of  =91connection=92 as the sword filled his hand. He
was overcome for a moment by the spirit of the sword as it tried to take
control.=20
    When he finally regained himself, he saw that a group of punks had
surrounded the girl. He was too far away to hear the verbal exchange,
but the body language definitely said that something unpleasant was
about to happen.
    Then she exploded into action, kicking and punching in all directions.=20
    She was poetry in motion, and for a few moments he could only stand and
watch her. His style of combat had never been that graceful, that full
of life. For days, he=92d been watching a hopeless, beaten-down teenage
girl. He=92d begun to suspect that they were wrong about her, and the
Slayer was elsewhere. In battle, however, she came fully alive, shaking
off the weight of all her troubles.=20
    He forgot that he should probably help her. He forgot that one of those
guys was most likely a demon. She was so good that he started to relax,
since it looked like she was going to beat them on her own. Then one of
them hit her from behind with a two by four. She went down in a heap,
but stayed there only a moment before she was trying to get shakily back
to her feet.
    He shook himself out of his daze and sprinted forward, hoping he could
get there before it was too late.

            **********

    =93If that=92s the best you can do,=94 Buffy said as she somehow found h=
er
feet, =93Then I have nothing to worry about.=94
    A foot lashed out, sweeping her feet out from under her and putting her
back on the ground.
    =93Start worrying,=94 said the leader, =93Kill her boys, I got close eno=
ugh
to get a sniff, and she=92s not what we need.=94
    Buffy tried to focus, to get herself together to fight them off. A big
part of her wanted to give up, however. It was too hard to be her
anymore. She settled into a dejected heap, and waited for the blow that
would end her suffering.
    =93Sorry boys,=94 growled a voice that was suddenly in their midst, =93N=
o
party tonight. You=92ve gotta know that this one is not for the likes of
you.=94
    The speech was accompanied by a strange whistling and a sharp scream.
    Buffy opened her eyes to see a man, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt,
moving past one of the thugs who was holding a bleeding stump where his
arm used to be.
    The newcomer was older, probably in his mid thirties, a little heavy
set, but obviously at home swinging a sword. He moved to her side, his
sword-tip weaving back and forth, ready to lick out at any thug foolish
enough to get too close to her.
    =93Can you walk?=94 he asked her, never taking his eyes off of their
opponents.
    =93I th-think so,=94 she said a little vaguely. =93Give me a sec.=94
    =93We don=92t have a sec,=94 he replied, =93I don=92t think I can take a=
ll these
guys by myself, and in a second they=92re gonna come to the same
conclusion.=94
    As if to prove him right the leader took that moment to yell, =93GET HIM=
!
He can=92t kill you all.=94
    The rest of the gang looked at each other, then moved forward.
    =93Time=92s up,=94 said the swordsman, =93now we have to fight. Do what =
you
can, but stay close to me. I=92ll try to open us a hole. If I say run,
follow me. Okay?=94
    Buffy got to her feet, and turned to face the thugs coming up from
behind.=20
    =93You just take care of the ones that come that way, and I=92ll watch y=
our
back.=94 she said grimly. Somehow, she finally got her eyes to focus, jus=
t
in time to block a swing. The battle was rejoined.
    They fought for their lives, her with bare hands and him with bared
steel, and they knew it. Buffy kicked one guy under the chin, hearing a
sickening crunch, as the swordsman slid his blade into another one=92s
guts. Buffy punched another in the throat, then kicked him in the groin
hard enough to double him over. The swordsman gutted another one, and
with the backswing, opened yet another's throat. In moments, all of the
gang members except the leader were on the ground, dead, dying, or
crippled.
    =93This is not over,=94 hissed the leader, =93My master will have his re=
venge
on you for this.=94 And he turned and ran.
    =93May God guide my hand against the Darkness,=94 whispered the swordsma=
n.
Then, with a heave, he flung the sword at the thug=92s retreating back.
    The sword spun lazily through the air, ending up piercing the thug in
the spine. The thug let out an inhuman shriek, and crumpled to the
ground.
    Buffy looked on in disbelief, then whispered, =93You didn=92t have to ki=
ll
him. He was running away...=94
    =93Hmm...,=94 replied the swordsman, =93I could let him go and try to ra=
pe
some other, less capable girl, not to mention bringing down his
=91master=92s=92 revenge on our heads. And that=92s if he were just a hum=
an
monster.  However, if you come with me, I think you=92ll see that he=92s
something worse than that.=94
    He led her over to the corpse. The smell hit them before they could get
a good look at it. When they finally got  there, the sword was lying in
a pile of quickly decomposing goo.
    =93What in the Hell was that?=94 asked Buffy.
    =93A demon,=94 he replied, =93Probably a shapeshifter. Lucky for us it w=
asn=92t
anything more aggressive. You weren=92t in any shape to fight a combat
demon, and I couldn=92t have fought it _and_ kept you covered at the same
time.=94
    =93Look,=94 snapped Buffy, =93I can take care of myself just fine. I=92v=
e
fought...=94
    =93Vampires,=94 he cut in, =93Yeah, I know. But that was before you walk=
ed
away from your responsibilities. Did you think the Powers That Be would
just let that happen with no side effects?=94 He chuckled, =93You=92ve gi=
ven
up your edge, and from what I heard, late-starter that you are, you
didn=92t have that much of one to begin with.=94
    He knew that he was telling her a bald-faced lie. What she had couldn=92=
t
be taken away, except by death. Her edge was dulled by her own lack of
focus, nothing more. In truth, he=92d never seen anyone fight as well as
she had, and she wasn=92t at anything like 100%.
    =93Who are you, and how do you know so much about me?=94 Buffy demanded
sharply.
    =93Not here,=94 he said, picking up his sword and shaking the slime from
it. =93There=92re gonna be a lot of questions asked here shortly, and I
don=92t want to be here answering them any more than you do.=94
    He led her through the residential area, quickly putting several
streets between the battlefield and themselves. After several quiet
minutes, Buffy couldn=92t stand it any longer.
    =93Okay, we should be safe enough for story -time now.=94 she said. =93H=
ow
about you spill.=94
    =93Name=92s Rick, and I=92m just a guy who kills demons for a hobby,=94 =
he
said, =93And as for how I know about you, well, I can=92t really say.
Sometimes I just get letters, or email, or small packages from some
mysterious group that knows a lot more about that kind of shit...,=94 he
gestured back toward the battlefield, =93 ...than I do. They pointed me i=
n
your direction, told me to keep an eye on you. Seems like a good thing
that I did.=94
    =93I didn=92t ask for your help. I don=92t need it, and I don=92t want i=
t.
Mysterious group! What is _that_?=94 she said as she choked back tears.
    She felt like her so called =91destiny=92 was sitting on her chest,
suffocating the life out of her. She wanted to hit him, or scream, or
both.
     =93 I=92m so sick of being driven.=94 she told him, =93 And now you tel=
l me
there=92s some secret organization that runs the whole evil-fighting
world? _And_ they=92re keeping tabs on me? Haven=92t I made my feelings
clear? I DON=92T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! I=92ve given up everything to b=
e
the Slayer -- EVERYTHING! I don=92t have anything left. I - DON'T - WANT =
- -
TO - BE - THE - SLAYER - ANY - MORE! I just want to be a girl. I want to
worry about clothes, and boys, and my grades. I want to grow up, get
married, and have babies. I do not want to die in the dark while some
fanged ugly eats my liver -- or worse. I want a normal life...just a
normal life.=94=20
    She started crying then, soft sobs that sounded like they=92d never end.
He stood there a minute, trying to figure out what to do. It had been a
long time since he=92d been around anyone who cried. Finally, he pulled
her clumsily into his arms. She stiffened a moment, the let all her
grief and anger pour out on his shoulder.
    =93I understand,=94 he whispered into her hair, =93More than you realize=
. I
was young once, with all the same dreams. It does get easier, really.
You just have to learn to adapt.=94
    She burrowed deeper into his shoulder, taking comfort from his
solidity. It was so hard, being alone, and it was so easy to find
comfort in a kindred soul.
    *Damn me,* he thought as he stood, trying to put her back together,
*How can I make her get back into this? _I_ don't even believe me.*
    =93It=92s gonna be okay,=94 he said, awkwardly stroking her hair, =93You=
=92ll get
through this. We'll get you through it.=94
    They stood that way for a very long time.




more to come...

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 23 May 1998 21:53:01 -0400
From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: 3 (short) Becoming Fics

Title(s): 1.  Hold On
          2.  A Long Time Coming
          3.  The Right Thing to Do

Author:        Northlight
e-mail:        [e-mail]
Distribution:  Go ahead, just ask/tell me first.
Spoilers:      Becoming, Part 2
Summaries:

    Hold On:  Giles' thoughts while Angelus is trying to get the
information he needs.

    A Long Time Coming:  Spike as he's hitting Angelus.  (I loved that
part! <g>)

    The Right Thing to Do:  Cordelia's thoughts about what happened.  I'm
not quite sure about this one, I've never written Cordelia before.  But
I figured what the heck, go for it! <g>

Disclaimer:  They don't belong to me.
******

Hold On

    It hurts.

    My entire body aches and screams it's agony to my pain clouded mind.

    Oh, God, how it hurts!

    I can feel him hovering over me, preparing his next move.  He pauses,
considering what will cause the most agony to my battered body.

    I'm frightened.

    I'm hurting.

    And yet, I do not give into his demands.  I know that he will kill me
once he discovers the secret to the ritual, but that is not what keeps
me silent.  I would welcome death eagerly at this moment if it would
only take away the pain.

    So why then?  Why won't I give into the relief from pain that my answer
would bring?

    Maybe it's a little bit of the Ripper in me.  That brash and foolhardy
youth would have sneered in the face of the demon before me.  He had
been no stranger to pain.  Is it that remembered pain which allows me to
stay silent in the face of such agony?

    Maybe, my continued, stubborn silence is the result of my Watcher's
training.  It is to be expected that, as a guide to the sole barrier
against the forces of darkness, Watchers may fall into such unpleasant
circumstances.  I am not the first Watcher who has been tortured for the
information that they hold.  I had been warned of this possibility.  I
had been trained never to give into the pain.  The idea that a Watcher's
agony is nothing compared to their duty has long been drilled into my
mind.  Is that what holds me silent?

    Is it the thought of the world which hangs in the balance that keeps me
from speaking?  I do not know, for at the moment, the fate of the world
seems a distant worry.  The fate of the world is a difficult concept to
grasp when one can hardly think through the pain clouding their mind.

    Angelus moves in towards me.  He is impatient, demanding his answer.
He promises to make the pain stop if only I tell him what he needs to
know.

    At that moment, both Ripper and Watcher seem so very far away.  There
is only suffering and the thought of a cease to my anguish.

    And yet, I do not give him what he needs.

    I answer with quips and sarcasm, and as I do, I know that such a
response will only draw more pain.

    So why don't I give the answer that will set me free?

    It is love.

    I will not fail my young Slayer in this.  I will not let the children
who depend on me suffer an eternity of agony worse than what I am
suffering from now.  I will not allow the monster who murdered Jenny
destroy anyone else that I care for.

    I will not answer.

    I am stronger than this.

    I will not answer.

    Oh God, it hurts!

End

***

A Long Time Coming

    She's here.  The Slayer.

    The muscles in my legs tense as I prepare myself for what is to come.
I wait until she's finished speaking, her words a perfect opening for my
entrance back into the world of the walking.

    The bar is in my hands within moments after I rise to my feet.  There
is no hesitation whatsoever as I bring it down on Angel's head.

    *WHACK!*

    Bloody stupid fool!

    *WHACK!*

    Thinks that he can waltz back into our lives, all nice and soulless,
and pick up where we left off?

    Where he left off with Dru!?

    *WHACK!*

    She's mine!  Mine!

    Angelus may have been the one to snap her mind, he may have been the
one to change her, but she is mine!  I am the one who has looked after
her all these years!  I am the one who protected her, and cared for
her.  I was the one who helped her regain her strength!  I have suffered
the loss of my legs for her!

    *WHACK!*

    And what has he done for her?  Nothing!

    *WHACK!*

    She's mine!  He will not take her away from me!  I will not allow it!

    *WHACK!*

    I bring the bar down on him again.  The frustrations of all these years
power my blows.

    *WHACK!*

    I've been wanting to do this for a _long_ time.  I figure it's about
time I got it all out.

    *WHACK!*

    Damn, this feels good!

    *WHACK!*

End

***

The Right Thing To Do

    Xander told me to run, and I did.  I ran as fast and as far as I
could.  Blind terror drove me forward, urged me to get as much distance
between me and those monsters as possible.

    I ran.  I left everyone behind, and ran away while everyone else was
being taken out.

    Buffy told me that it was the right thing to do.

    So why do I feel so awful?

    Really, what could I have done?  I may be beautiful, and I may be
outrageously popular, but all of that means nothing when facing creeps
with some serious dental problems.

    I don't know what's wrong with me.

    Before, I never would have been going through this.  I'd be sorry for
Willow, in my own way, of course, but I wouldn't be feeling like I am
now.

    It would have been a clear case of me or them.  And my life would have
won hands down.  Cordelia Chase doesn't do the whole self-sacrifice
thing.  Considering that I ran, I still don't.  But it's different...

    What am I doing here?

    The Cordelia of old never would have been in some smelly old hospital,
waiting for some girl that she never liked to wake up.  But now,
Willow... and Xander hold me here without even asking for me.

    Somehow, somewhere, that Cordelia began to fade away. And that scares
me.  I don't want to worry about these people.  I don't want to feel
guilty because they suffered and I ran.

    I did the right thing.

    I did.

    But why do I feel so bad about it?

End

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 24 May 1998 00:04:37 -0700
From: LadySun <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Charlotte Sometimes (22.5)

I wrote up this ditty just now. it's not a new part really, just a
small attachment, enjoy

Charlotte Sometimes (Part 22.5)


She was pushing him away. Somehow she managed to gather her composure,
and  prying him off from her lips, and from her body she squirmed out
from under his arms.
            He contemplated not letting her go, but he could never force
her. And so he let her free to stumble backwards, and in the instant he
went to catch her something distracted him.

~

Drusilla managed to tangle her feet as she freed herself of her would be
love, and stumbling as she tried to turn away from his beautiful face.
    She landing on the gravel floor not hard, though clearly stunned, and
sat there slumped on the ground with widened eyes.
She'd just kissed a man. A real kiss. A real man. A first kiss!
Perhaps if the disgrace didn't stop her from blushing she'd be red as a
rose right as of now.

~

    His lips tingled where her's had touch, and he sighed drawing his hands
to the pale lips, remembering the feathers touch.

    But he had to remember her as a whole, as she lay down on the ground
looking up at him.

    She stammered back up to her feet, legs shaking as he helped her to
stand.

    "Drusilla" He gasped out, her name holding so much meaning. So much
beauty.
    She looked frail suddenly, like she would begin to break and cry.
But she could stand straight. She stood up straight, though avoiding his
gaze somewhat.
           "I'm so sorry Dru... Your in so much..." He looked at her up
and down, every inch of her hair shimmering. Words were lost to him
right now, all value of meaning was gone.
           "Pain" He whispered.
    He wanted to plan this! To think out each minute with great
consideration of importance, to make the moment as beautiful as
immortally possible.
    But he was so blinded. She was all he saw. The world was a picture of
her face. There was nothing else.
    "I'm trying to move slowly with you." He brushed his hand along her
cheek, timid eyes reaching his gaze for the first time. They were
flickering with light now, just a little hope of what they'd been
before. "But  I-I-I"
Angelus smiled, taking a deep breath. His eyes locked steady on hers,
and hers, large brown eyes widened in anticipation of what she knew was
coming. "I think I in love with you Drusilla"


- --

_-_ LadySun

SD - Http://home.earthlink.net/~kbleyle/SD/index.html

    Daylight licked me into shape, I must have been asleep for
days. And moving lips to breathe her name, I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone, Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved, And drowned her deep inside
of me (The Cure)

_ - _Spikette _ Dru's Dolly - Mercenary_ - _
  _ - _ Head Dominatrix in the Evil _ - _
_ - _   Plan For World Domination, _ - _
  _ - _ With Chains and Stuff _ - _

------------------------------

End of buffyfic-digest V2 #200
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