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buffyfic-digest        Wednesday, May 20 1998        Volume 02 : Number 196



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: Best Intentions Part 3/15
       DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire
       Re: DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire
       BUFFYFIC: In a Blink of the Eye
       BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Reunion"-- Note from the author
       Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Reunion"-- Note from the author
       Re: BUFFYFIC: In a Blink of the Eye
       Re: DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire
       BUFFYFIC: Final Goodbyes by Trinity Day 1/1 *****Spoilers*****
       BUFFYFIC: Forbidden Love (2/2)
       BUFFYFIC: Mazes of the Mind (5/5)

See the end of the digest for information on (un)subscribing to the buffyfic
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Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 08:28:19 PDT
From: "Jennifer M." <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Best Intentions Part 3/15

TITLE: Best Intentions
AUTHOR: Jennifer M. ([e-mail])
SUMMARY: What would happen if Buffy's mom found her diary?
RATING: PG.
TIME PERIOD: Maybe past Becoming 1?
THANKYOUS:  Thanks Leslie S.!
FEEDBACK: Please!  Any constructive criticism would be greatly
appreciated.
DISTRIBUTION: Please ask.
DISCLAIMER: All characters are the property of Joss Whedon, et al.  The
idea is mine, though!


~~Best Intentions Part 3/15

Later that day, Joyce walked into the high school library.  She had been
crying for most of the day and her head was pounding.

No one was anywhere to be seen in the large room.

"Mr. Giles?" she called out.  "Hello?"

"Mrs. Summers!  What are you doing here?"  Giles looked at her.
Concern raced through him when he looked closely at the woman's face.
"What has happened?  Is Buffy alright?"

At the mention of her daughter's name, Joyce burst into tears again.
Giles walked over to her and lead her to the cot in his office.  "Mrs.
Summers, please, what has happened to Buffy?"  Fear consumed Giles
as he thought about the possibilities of what had happened to the
Slayer.

"Mr. Giles, I did something terrible.  But, I did it for my daughter.  I
swear.  I had her best interest at heart, and I had to do something."
She looked at him through watery eyes, and carefully chose her next
words.  "I found something, and I confronted her. Things did not go
well."

"Uh, no, I, uh suppose not," he stuttered.  "Would you like to
talk about it?"

"Well, yes.  You see, she said something strange."  Joyce looked
Giles squarely in the eye.  "Buffy told me to come to you and tell
you what happened, and ask you for the truth.  And last night, she
said she was going to tell me, but, not until we could come to you.
I, I thought she was lying again, or trying to figure some way to
stall me."  She watched his reaction.

"Please, Mrs. Summers.  You must tell me what you have done with
your daughter," kneeling on the floor next to her, Giles grabbed her
shoulders.

"Mr. Giles, I had her committed!"

~~~~~

Buffy lay on the hard bed, trying desperately to think of a way
out of this situation.  Her hands and feet were tied to the bed and she
couldn't move.  Never before had she felt so frustrated and so utterly
defeated.  Never before had she felt so alone.

'How could she do this to me?  I'm her daughter!'  Buffy thought.

She knew she had to remain as calm and as sane as possible.  Any
trouble could only make things worse.  She had stopped struggling,
and lay quietly on her bed.  She looked around the room, again, and
saw nothing.  Gray walls, gray ceiling, gray floor!  'Dammit!  No
wonder people go crazy in here!'

A middle-aged nurse came into the room, carrying a tray.

"Hello.  I'm Nurse Collins.  I see you've calmed down.
Would you like to eat now?"

"I'm not hungry.  What is it going to take to get me out of here?"

"You sure don't waste any time, do you?"

"No.  What do I have to do?"

"Well, honey, you need to see a doctor.  The doctor will diagnose
you, and that will determine what you need to do to get out of here,
OK?  Now that you've calmed down, that process will speed up, a
bit."  The nurse smiled sympathetically.

"When will the doctor be in to see me?"

"He's scheduled to come in tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?  Are you serious?  I have to be here for a full day?
All night?  That's crazy!  I'm not crazy you know.  I'm not!"

"I know, honey.  No one here is."  The nurse smiled again at her,
"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?"  Buffy shook her
head; the nurse shrugged her shoulders, turned and left the room.

Buffy again tried to pull her arms from the restraints, but they
still proved too strong for her.  She lay defeated and unmoving
on the bed.  Her mind was racing, trying to think of some way out
of this.
~~~
End Part 3

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------------------------------

Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 16:23:42 -0400
From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire

Superb.

- -Ingrid

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------------------------------

Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 17:32:45 EDT
From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire

In a message dated 98-05-19 16:27:35 EDT, [e-mail] writes:

>Superb.


Agreed, I really liked the story in general. I think you might want to
consider making her thoughts a little clearer from what she (Cordie) says, and
also I remember people other than Xander calling her Cordie, but other than
that I really like it. :)

Rachel

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 18:15:30 -0400
From: [e-mail]
Subject: BUFFYFIC: In a Blink of the Eye

Title:      In a Blink of the Eye
Author:     Northlight
e-mail:     [e-mail]
Summary:    Kendra and Dru in Becoming, part 1.  There really isn't much
to it, but the end of the episode just wouldn't get out of my mind until
I got this little thing out.
Disclaimer:  They aren't mine.

:::You know him well-- this Dark One, this Great Destroyer-- You have
walked with him all your young lives-- flaunted him, taunted him, tilted
with him-- and you'd always gotten away unscathed... until now:::
Uncanny X-Men #96

**********


    Slayer and Vampire, as it had always been.  Hunters both, their bodies
singing within the presence of the other.  They met in a flurry of
swirling skirts and creaking leather, falling into the rhythms of the
dance between Slayer and Vampire.  Instinctive aggression was channelled
into swinging fists and feet as Kendra and Druscilla met.

    Kendra's eyes filled with the determination to fulfill her duty.  This
was her destiny-- this is what she was.  There was nothing else, there
never had been.  She was the Slayer.

    The thrill of the hunt surged through Druscilla as she met the Slayer
blow for blow.  This was what she was-- a hunter, a killer.  The power
and violence thrilled her.  Her head sang with it.

    It was over within moments, vampire victorious.  Slayers had fallen
beneath the hands and fangs of their prey before, as would the Slayer
who never should have awakened to her destiny.

    Druscilla's hand cupped Kendra's face, holding her steady as she backed
the child into the counter.  They stood face to face, neither Slayer or
Vampire moving.  One pair of eyes filled with victory, the other with
the recognition of her death.

    "Look at me, deary." The vampire's voice was a soft coo, unexpected.

    Kendra found herself unable to resist that smooth, insistent voice.
Her eyes raised unwillingly, focusing on Druscilla's slim finger.

    "Be in my eyes."

    Blood red nails hovered before the girl's eyes.

    "Be in me."

    The nails drifted towards Druscilla's eyes, pointing into their
depths.  And the Slayer was pulled into the them, riding the soft wave
of her voice.

    Their eyes locked.  Druscilla swayed from side to side, Kendra echoing
her movements.

    Back and forth.

    Druscilla's fingers twitched in anticipation.

    Back and forth.

    She struck out.  Her nail slashed across the smooth skin of Kendra's
neck.  Red nails dyed by the Slayer's blood.

    Without a whimper of protest, Kendra dropped to the ground.

    "Night, night."

    And another Slayer fell to her destiny.

End

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 18:12:49 -0400
From: [e-mail] (Ingrid E Stanton)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Reunion"-- Note from the author

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for putting up with my sporadic
stories. It's been one hell of a month, but this week is the real
problem. That's really my lame excuse. This week, I had the A.P. US
History exam, about a dozen projects, and my research paper is due on
friday. After that, things should start moving faster. Once again, thanks
for putting up with my lame excuses.

- -Ingrid

_____________________________________________________________________
You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
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------------------------------

Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 18:19:26 EDT
From: AlysFaire <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: DISCUSS: "Reunion"-- Note from the author

In a message dated 98-05-19 18:15:45 EDT, [e-mail] writes:

<< First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for putting up with my sporadic
 stories. It's been one hell of a month, but this week is the real
 problem. That's really my lame excuse. This week, I had the A.P. US
 History exam, about a dozen projects, and my research paper is due on
 friday. After that, things should start moving faster. Once again, thanks
 for putting up with my lame excuses.

 -Ingrid
  >>

Hey Ingrid,

Anyone (like myself) who's been waiting with bated breath for each new Chapter
and Interlude surely knows they're worth the wait. <g>  So, relax (well, as
much as possible ;P) and just concentrate on your studies.  And good luck!
:-)

Alys

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 18:33:49 EDT
From: KylenRevik <[e-mail]>
Subject: Re: BUFFYFIC: In a Blink of the Eye

::claps:: Wonderful! I like the way you've got Dru acting rationally, of all
things...'cause after that stuff, man, she's _gotta_ be sane at this point. (I
won't go off on my whole "Dru is sane now" theory, tho)...

Anyway. I liked it a lot. :)

R

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 18:51:38 -0400
From: [e-mail] (slb)
Subject: Re: DISCUSS: BUFFYFIC: Trial By Fire

Nicely done. I don't read much poetry, but prefer sonnets when I do read
it. Sad, but appropriate and nicely expressed.

Sheryl

[e-mail]
Ravenette~Slayerette~Discoverer~BBFC
"Our man Angel here likes to talk, but he's not much for action. All hat and
no cat." Spike, BTVS
              Moo: A Fan Fiction Zine
  http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/3063

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 20:27:17 -0400
From: "O'Connors" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Final Goodbyes by Trinity Day 1/1 *****Spoilers*****

S
P
O
I
L
E
R

S
P
A
C
E







TITLE: Final Goodbyes
AUTHOR: Trinity Day
EMAIL ADDRESS: [e-mail]
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Post anywhere, but please tell me.
SPOILER WARNING: Everything is up for grabs, but especially Passions
and Becoming p1&2
RATING: To be safe PG-14, but not any worse than the show
CONTENT WARNING: Death of some characters
SUMMARY: Post-episode vignette.  What Buffy is thinking at the end of
the season finale
DISCLAIMER:  I don't own Buffy & Co.  Joss Whedon and the WB do.  No
copyright infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Please be warned that this has MAJOR spoilers for
this weeks episodes, and I'm leaving a space for those people whose
browsers automatically open their mail.  Please don't read this until
you've seen the second part of Becoming.  Also feedback is very
welcome, but please send it to my address, don't reply because my
cousin is posting this for me.


*    *    *

    My mind has been numb since down.  Unable to think, everything was
running on autodrive.  Just now do I realize where I am, what has
happened.  Now all my thoughts are meshed together, tangled with each
other.  I try to sort them out.

    It's amazing.  24 hours is all it takes to change a life.  Sure I've
heard it before, seen it on tv, and in one of the rare books I own,
read it.  But I've never really KNOWN, not until it happened to me.
Just a day ago, I was the happiest girl in the world.  No- that's a
lie.  But I was happy enough, and for the first time in months,
things were looking up.

    False hope.  In the last 24 hours I've been responsible for at least
1 death, and countless injuries.  Poor Willow, all she tried to do
was help me.  She wanted to save Angel, and in turn, he almost killed
her.  I remember looking at her battered body, and I knew.

    Xander knew too, I think.  It seems his best friend had to almost
die before he realized his feelings for her.  They love each other.
No, they aren't IN love with each other, not like Willow used to
think.  But they have something special.  It's about time they found
out.

    Kendra died, Willow almost, Xander got hurt, and Cordelia ran.  She
was the smart one.  I wish they had all run.  And Giles. . .

    Because of me, because I was too weak to kill the demon I had once
welcomed into my arms.  He was hurt, tortured, tormented, almost
killed.  Giles I mean.  Forced to give a secret.  One which may have
destroyed the world.

    And shown Jenny, his love.  She also died because of me.  Died
because I was petty and blamed her for my actions.  She tried to help
me, win back my trust, and she died.  Her neck snapped and left as a
present for her lover.  Giles was a zombie when I first saw him after
she died.  Because I was so selfish.  Because I'm so childish.
How can I blame my mother for kicking me out.  Who would want a
murderer as a daughter.  Who would want me?  I fight, I burn down
buildings, and I've been expelled from school twice.  I've caused
numerous deaths because I didn't take being the Slayer seriously.
Sure I tell people all the time "I'm the chosen one, the only one who
can stop them."  But when push comes to shove, I stand back and
whimper in the corner until someone close to me gets hurt.  Often by
Angel.

    Angel.  I killed him.  Not Angelus, not the demon who has been
killing for the last few months, but the soul who saved my life oh so
many times.  The creature I made love to, the one I loved.  I watched
his eyes, full of betrayal when he felt my sword stab his stomach.
He has been sent to hell, when it was I that was meant to go.  I am
the killer, not him.

    Well not anymore.  I'm starting a new life, with no ties to my old.
I'll leave this hellhole and never look back.  I'll be a Slayer who
actually works, who doesn't whine about her social life, or lack
thereof when she should be doing her job and letting another keep
their life.  Let others live.  I won't do anything that isn't related
to slaying, won't make any new connections.  Won't let any more
people be harmed because of me.

    I look out the window.  There is a sign: "You are now leaving
Sunnydale.  Please come back soon."  I feel a tear roll down my cheek
as I say my final good-byes to my life and to this town.  I never
want to come back.

The End

*****************************************************************
"Hello.  My name is Inigo Montaya.  You killed my father, prepare to
die."
         --The Princess Bride
*****************************************************************

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 19 May 1998 19:14:55 -0700
From: [e-mail] (Charity C. T.)
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Forbidden Love (2/2)

Title: Forbidden Love (2/2)
By: Taygeta
Address: [e-mail]
Feedback: Please send
Spoiler: Not really, a little bit from one episode a long time ago, but
barely mentions that.
Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story and any other
references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of its creater
Joss Whedon, and its owners Mutant Enemy productions, Kuzui Productions,
Sandollar Productions, and 20th Century Fox.  In other words, these
characters do not belong to me, and I am just borrowing them.
Description: Second part of Forbidden Love, which is a Willow/Angel fic
Warning:  Your basic sad reminiscing story
Author's Note:  I wrote the first part about a month ago, but I got a
request for the second so I thought I better finish the second part.
Hope I did the Buffy genre justice.

***************************
Forbidden Love (2/2)
By: Taygeta

    I felt his fingers gripping my neck tightly and thoughts of the
night not so long ago filled my mindàthe night we had become one.
Feeling the coldness of his grasp, I felt their glacial quality and
although they had been just so before, they were without the love that I
knewàthat I feltàwas Angel.  Salty tears wet my lashes as I closed my
eyes, feeling the pain of heartache and sadness that came with the
knowledge that he had turned to the other side.

    "Angel, why are you doing this?"  I whispered softly, through dry
and chapped lips, aware of the presence of my friends, who were waiting
for their moment to strike.

    "I'm not Angel anymore," he said threateningly as his eyes met
mine and despite my knowledge of his crossing over, it still surprised me
to see in him this abominable demonàthis soulless creature.

    "Noàyou're not," I replied, feeling the parchedness of my throat
as it tightened with every sob I held within.

     And that was the last time we exchanged wordsàthe last time he
held me in his armsàthe last time I felt his touch against my skin.  It
wasn't fairàthis forbidden love of ours.  Met and expressed in a night
that would forever be remembered in our heartsàa night that is lost in
the sands of time in which a soul and the truth of my Angel's heart are
gone with it.

    Yet, the unjust continues as the thorns of the beautiful rose of
our love that bloomed continue to grow sharper.  These barbs stick to me
like pins in the realization that I can't express my anger, my sadnessàmy
fear.  I'm left to pick myself up from the scattered shards of my
heartàof my soulàto be the solitary Willowàthe steadfast best friend of
the girl that must be in true pain.  My pain is trueàalthough I can't say
it is more sincere than Buffy'sàfor I don't know the extent of her
suffering.  I only know that mine reach into the depths of who I am and
of who I used to be.  My words of comfort to her echo to my ears as I
soon as they spilt for my lips and I wonder why I try when they, though
after much reiteration, have given me neither solace nor persuasion that
they are the truth.

    I can't begin to count how many times I have said, "He's
goneàthere was nothing you can doàit isn't your faultà" Every time those
words were utteredàor heardàI just wanted to react in anger over the
mendaciousness of such vacuous assurances.  And what are they, in the
end, but just mere words off of the unenlightened?  Words that can't
erase the pain of a love doomed from the startàa forbidden love embedded
forever in the mindàand the heart.

_____________________________________________________________________
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------------------------------

Date: Wed, 20 May 1998 08:36:49 PDT
From: "Black Fire" <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: Mazes of the Mind (5/5)

Title: Mazes of the Mind
Author: Black Fire
Email: [e-mail]
Feedback: If you wish
Summary: It's Angelus vs. Angel in the world of nightmares.  But it's
over now.  After last night, I haven't the heart to continue with my
original idea.  And besides that, the idea wasn't doing so well.
Disclaimers: I make no claims to Angel, Angelus or any other Buffy
character that shows up.
Rating: PG

                          Mazes of the Mind 4

Angelus woke up with a start.  He had had the strangest feeling that he
was falling.  He looked around.  He was in his own room at the house.
And Drusilla was standing over him.

"My poor Angel," she said as she knelt beside him.  "You were having a
nightmare."

"I was?" he asked as he sat up.

She only nodded.  "You started thrashing all about."  She pouted.  "I
tried to wake you but you wouldn't get up."

"Oh."

"What's this?" Spike asked as he wheeled himself into the room.  "Is the
big bossman having bad dreams?"

"Shut up, rollerboy," Angelus growled.

"But it's alright now," Dru cooed as she embraced him.

"Yeah babe," Angelus said as he returned the jesture and stood up.

"Come now," Dru finally said, "I have a little present for you."  She
took him by the hand and led him out of the room.

As they left, a sense of relief flooded through Angelus.  The nightmare
he had been having was finally over....

Or was it?  For as he left the room, he thought he heard the faint
remnants of laughter.  He turned, but no one was there.  But all the
same, the ghostly figure of himself watched, smiling... and laughing.

                           ~Ende...~
...or is it?

- --
So what did you think?



The Black Fire            | "Don't worry, I'm not here to eat."
[e-mail]   |                -Angel (IG)
         http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shadowlands/4203
"But if they all forget me I will be here anyway, like an artifact
     of some lost civilization" -Vlad Dracula _The Dracula Tape_
"I'll see you there, Jekyll." -Edward Hyde "Jekyll & Hyde"


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